______________________*Viva Forever*
______________________The song belongs to the Spice Girls.
______________________The idea belongs to half a dozen who have done this before me.
______________________The memories last forever...
God, I miss him. I miss him so much. They're isn't a day I don't think about him, not a second I don't wish I could have been there. There, with him, when he died.
When Voldemort finally got him.
When I lost the only boy I ever loved.
Love is sweet. But fleeting...
My poor little Harry, unloved for the first eleven years of his life, struggling to get through life without getting killed by Voldemort. He was so brave. I loved him for that. That way he always thought he had to protect us, the way he would never listen to me when I begged him not to put himself in danger. I loved the way his green eyes would sparkle when he won a Quidditch match, the way his scruffy hair could never be tamed, the way he would grin at me sometimes.
It hurts to remember.
But I'm afraid if I don't remember, I'll forget..
And Harry deserves to be remembered.
I'll never forget the day I heard it. I'd been teaching at Hogwarts, Defense against the Dark Arts, for only six weeks, when who but Ron stumbled into my class, his face pale.
"Hermione," he'd gasped, "Hermione, it's Harry - he's dead."
Those two words cut into my soul with a dagger. I fainted, right there in front of my students.
_________________________________Do you still remember
_________________________________How we used to be?
When I came to, Dumbledore was standing over me, his eyes pained. When he saw I was awake, he smiled, though the smile didn't reach his eyes.
"Welcome back, Miss Granger."
"Harry -" I said - I couldn't think of anything else "-- Harry dead?"
His smile faded, and he seemed to slump.
"I'm afraid so.."
_________________________________Feeling together, my lovin' I gave ya,
_________________________________My love has said to me..
That's the way it's been for six long months since then...
_________________________________Both of were dreamers,
_________________________________Young love in the sun..
I keep a photo of him on my dresser. I want to forget, yet I need to remember.
His green eyes can always wink at me from that little frame, even if they don't shine in real life.
I didn't go to his funeral. Ron did, though, and Lavender, his wife, told me he came home in tears. I was glad I didn't go. I didn't want to hear the priest saying things about someone that everyone else knew as brave, strong Harry Potter, and I knew it would make me remember the real Harry, who was lonely and sad and starved for love.
He was so sweet, always. When we finally admitted we had more-than-friends feelings for each other, he was so careful in touching me. It always made me smile, the way he made sure he never went furthur than I was willing to go.
He had just gotten a job as an Ministry official, and I my teaching job, and I envisioned a lifetime ahead of us filled with laughter and love. But then - it was only after that I found out he didn't really work for the Ministry. He was an Auror.
Oh, my dear sweet Harry, always willing to sacrifice himself for the world that was not always so kind to him. He thought that he needed to defeat Voldemort for them. I tried to be angry with him. But I always kept coming back - Why?
Why did Voldemort have to surprise him?
Why didn't Harry defend himself? I knew he was more powerful than Voldemort. After all, wasn't his wand was the one that forced Voldemort's to regurgitate spells after their wands touched in his fourth year?
Why wasn't I there?
I could have helped him.
I remember always having a sort of maternal feeling for Harry. I felt bound and determined to protect him, thinking he deserved more than he got in life. When he told me to go back in our first year, it was barely more than I could stand to leave him alone with Quirrell.
_________________________________Felt like my savior, my spirit I gave ya,
_________________________________We'd only just begun.
He was so young! I always wanted to cry. It wasn't fair. He and I should have had a lifetime together.
_________________________________Hasta manana
_________________________________Always be mine...
So now I barely struggle along, teaching my wonderful students all about Grindylows and Boggarts. I love teaching. It's truly what I was meant for in life .. I love knowing that I have made an influence in young lives. It's the closest I could get to .. him.
_________________________________Viva forever
_________________________________I'll be waiting
_________________________________Everlasting
_________________________________Like the sun..
"So, class, remember when facing a dragon, remember that its eyes are its weakness. The Conjunctivitis Curse, hit squarely in the pupil of the eye, will allow you to get to safety before it can recover. Even so be careful, because once its eyes are temporarily blinded, it will be stumbling around in agony and you can get trampled if you're not careful."
The bell rang, and my sixth year class gathered their books to leave. It was my last class, and I was glad; it had been a harrowing lesson. Talking about defeating dragons made me think of Harry. Of course, most things made me think about Harry, but still...
I straightened my desk and put the essays due on Boggarts from the third years in my bag, which needed grading.
For some reason I found myself leaving the castle. I headed for the lake, which was glittering in the early sunset, and seated myself under a weeping willow tree along the border. I took out the Boggart essays, but found I had no heart to start grading them.
Instead, I stared out on the water, mezmerized by the shifting waters. The sun sparkled on the gleaming surface, but underneath, I knew, hid a world of dark, forbidding kelp forests and rocky grindylow nests.
So much like people, I thought, you think you know them, but they hide all sorts of things underneath that cheerful exterior. I thought about what I had just concluded and was amazed at myself. Me, Hermione Granger, being philisophical? Ha! I would have laughed in an earlier age. But now, it just made me feel sad again, and that lonely ache came to my stomach again.
I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Ron, a serious expression on his face. He came and sat beside me, glancing first at the ungraded essays in my lap to the lake I was staring at. He frowned.
"Hermione, you're not coming here to think of Harry, are you?" he said disapprovingly.
I shook my head vehemently. "Of course not! I'm grading my third years' Boggart essays."
"It would be useful to have a quill," he said pointedly.
I looked down. I had forgotten a quill. Dammit! I snapped my fingers, annoyed, and picked up the quill that had appeared in midair, glaring at Ron. "So what if I am? It doesn't hurt to remember."
"Remembering and obsessing are two different things."
"I'm not obsessing."
"Then how come you haven't had a boyfriend since he died?"
"That's none of your bloody business!" I snapped at him. "Six months is NOT that long to mourn for a boyfriend!"
"Hermione, get your head out of the ground!" he yelled back, startling me. "Harry's dead! He's not coming back and you need to get on with your life!"
_________________________________Live forever
_________________________________For the moment,
_________________________________Ever searching,
_________________________________For the world..
I stared at him, lost for words. Then, without warning, all the sadness I had been feeling welled up and exploded. I burst into tears.
Ron looked startled, and then ashamed. He hadn't meant to make me cry, and I think he was embarrassed that he had. He pulled me into his arms, letting me cry against him.
"Hermione - I'm - I'm sorry," he muttered, once my sobs had slowed. "I didn't mean to-"
"No," I gasped, wiping my face and leaning away from him. "Don't blame yourself, Ron, you're right. I do need to get on with my life. But whenever I see a cute guy, something just wells up in me and I can't do it, I can't. Harry - he's not gone yet, at least not in my heart."
We were both silent for a long time, both of us staring out at the water, both of us lost souls without a friend. Harryless.
Ron heaved a sigh. "I miss him," he admitted.
I looked up. This was the first time he had talked to me about feeling sad about Harry.
"He was always there," Ron continued, staring out at the lake in a lost kind of way. "Even when I got mad at him for some stupid reason - the Triwizard Cup - he didn't even let me apologize. Always ready to risk his head for some stupid cause."
_________________________________ Yes I still remember
_________________________________Every whispered word...
"I think I loved him because he needed me so much," I said, my throat tight, yet feeling strangely uplifted as my gaze shifted over the lake. "I always felt like I needed to protect him, to be that one who would stick by him and heal him and comfort him when the world was turning on him.."
Ron nodded, his eyes sad.
"But we'll always remember," he said, touching my hand.
_________________________________The touch of her skin
_________________________________Gave a life from within
"Harry would want us to be strong."
_________________________________Slipping through our fingers
_________________________________ Like the sands of time..
"And he would want us to always remember the good memories ... not the bad."
_________________________________Promises made, every memory saved
_________________________________As reflections in the mind..
"Harry," I thought, squeezing Ron's hand and looking up at the endless sky, "if you're up there, I want you to know I love you.
Now and forever..."
_________________________________Hasta manana
_________________________________Always be mine...
_________________________________ Viva forever
_________________________________I'll be waiting
_________________________________Everlasting
_________________________________Like the sun..
_________________________________Live forever
_________________________________For the moment,
_________________________________Ever searching
_________________________________For the world...
_______________________________________~