Disclaimer: If I created the Alex Rider series, the series would be slash. Since it isn't and I can only resort to fanfiction to satisfy my fangirl fantasies, I clearly do not own the series or its characters.
Author's messages: This is my first fanfiction. So I welcome all sorts of comments and reviews. BUT do not bother to argue with me on the slash part. If you don't like it how come you are here reading this? This is the first chapter. Actually it's more like a prologue. One of the two main characters did not even appear! But I promise he will show up in the next chapter :)
"Alex, we need to talk."
Alex knew from Jack's tone that something is wrong. He is good at reading people and sensing problems. Just like he knew something bad happened when the police officers came one night delivering the news of his uncle's death. Alex is always quite conscious and sensitive of the atmosphere, and you can almost say that he has an instinct, as he has the ability to sense danger and terrible things, which surely is helpful in his line of work – the spy business that he is forced into by MI6.
Besides, this is Jack. The Jack who has spent years with Alex and whom Alex has spent years with. Alex has learnt along the way to tell what kind of mood she is in, to read her tone and expressions and interpret what is underlying in her mind.
Moreover, it is not like Alex did not see what is coming. In fact, he is actually expecting this. Waiting for the day when this would finally happen. And it turns out, that day is today. As Alex came in to the kitchen on this Saturday morning and saw Jack sitting there at the table, he slowly stopped himself because he read Jack's signals of wanting to say something. So he was not surprised at all when Jack said "we need to talk".
Only he knew it will not be "to talk". It is going to be Jack doing the telling and he receiving the message.
Jack is a strong woman. It takes quite some courage to come to a foreign country alone, albeit the language is the same – moving away from a place one knows to a place one does not know always requires courage and determination no matter how similar the two places are in appearance because when coming to a new place, one is utterly alone. Jack has strength in her. But strong does not mean cold-hearted. In fact Jack has been so caring and loving towards Alex, she decided to stay in London because she got attached to Alex. But it is this attachment that makes her vulnerable, and eventually brought her and Alex to this day, this moment at the kitchen table where she decides that she is leaving from Alex's life.
"Alex, I can't take this anymore. You being a spy, I mean." Jack says as she looked down, avoiding looking at Alex, who is standing there and looking at Jack because he knows that probably he will not have too many chances of seeing her again.
"Alex, it's not that I don't understand it's not your choice. Hell, I of all people understand best that you do not what to be working for them. But you can't change it. Neither can I. So you have to go on missions, again and again. You have to be hurt, again and again." She looks up and Alex can see the sadness and pity and angst and frustration and love and care all mixed and shimmering in her eyes. He remains silent but gives her a small nod to tell her that he understands and tells her to go on.
"Alex…The thing is, as you are sent off on missions and I am left alone, I worry. I am worried and anxious and…" she bite her lips, "…torn. I keep having images in my mind. Horrible, horrible images that I can't even bring myself to tell you because that means I have to think of them again. I am reluctant to answer when the doorbell or the telephone rings because I am afraid. Afraid that I am going to be told by some emotionless cold voice that you are injured or…dead."
Jack's voice cracked at the last word and Alex realizes how hard she has been trying to fight back tears. Slowly he walks towards the kitchen table and sits down beside her. He does not know what to say. He knows about Jack's emotional burden. He has been witnessing its growth since he came back from his first mission with the bruises and scars he got in the mission. He has seen Jack's expression, her pain as she saw his pain, her anger at MI6, and anger at herself because there is nothing she can do. In fact she is one factor that MI6 uses to blackmail Alex. All the time spent worrying, not knowing what has happened or is happening to her dear Alex has hurt her deeply. She tried so hard to not let it show, to cheer Alex up by pretending to be cheerful while she is far from cheerful. And that only drags her down even more.
"I'm sorry." Alex says because he feels he should say something as Jack tries to recollect her voice and a heavy, suffocating silence engulfed the room. Jack shook her head at his apology. "Alex, do not apologize. It's not your fault. Not your fault at all. Please know that my decision is not because I don't love you. It's because I do love you. I can't be with you anymore because I can't be without you. You know what I mean?"
Alex nods trying to come up with something to say but fails. So he manages to smile at her. At least he manages for his mouth to do the curving up part. Not sure if his eyes followed the order to show some soothing happiness. Judging from Jack's even more saddened expression, he knows that unsurprisingly failed.
Jack tries to smile at Alex and she, too, fails. Failure to cheer up only causes more sadness. Jack's eyes are now clearly watering as she continues, "I am leaving. Alex, I can't be here anymore. At least if I am away I can lie to myself that you are not on a mission, and I will not see the bruises and cuts and…bullet wounds in front of my eyes. Oh Alex I really wish I do not make this choice but…" Jack stops as the tears finally slide down her cheeks. Alex puts a hand on Jack's. He desperately searches for his voice.
"Jack, I understand. I really do. Please don't hate yourself. I know you love me." Jack shook her head again and closes her eyes, but she smiled, with tears on her cheeks she smiled, "Alex…how
can you be so…sweet. You are too mature. Parents are supposed to be happy if their child is mature and sweet and understanding, right? But somehow I only feel sad…" She draws a deep breath and opens her eyes again, "Anyways. I called MI6. They had given me a number, told me that I should call if there are…problems."
Alex knows that by problems MI6 were probably implying things more like Jack being attacked or Alex being attacked or both. But this definitely counts as a problem too. He asks, "So, um, what did they say?"
"They agreed for me to leave. And they also arranged someone to take care of you."
Alex blinks. He does not like that idea. Well of course it would be illegal to let a fourteen year old to live by himself with no adult looking after him. But, as Alex thought bitterly, isn't it even more illegal to let a fourteen year old go on missions where he could easily be killed? Besides, Alex is fully capable of looking after himself. Although Jack is the housekeeper, Alex has learnt to cook and do all the chores around the house. His uncle Ian always asked him to look after himself as much as possible. Not a surprise considering Ian wanted Alex to become a spy.
Sensing Alex's unhappiness, Jack says, "They said it is someone you know. And someone who knows you and what you do. They will make the arrangements and documents to make it like he is a long lost cousin of yours so it makes sense for him to look after you. He is an employee of theirs and he has the ability to look after you."
Alex knows by "ability to look after you" Jack is not referring such abilities like cooking or cleaning. More like protecting him from assassination and attack. Recalling all the people he has met in his spy life, Alex tries to figure out who this person might be. Male, MI6 employee whom he knows…immediately a name jumps into his head.
"Ben Daniels," Jack's voice confirmed his guess, "MI6 told me that this person's name is Ben Daniels."