I don't own Harry Potter.
No copyright infringement or whatever it's called intended on using the brand name Klondike.
"Ron, what would you do for a Klondike bar?" Harry asked suddenly.
They were sitting in the common room, in the middle of a game of wizard chess, and Ron was trying to concentrate on his next move, hand hovering above the chessboard.
"What?" Ron asked. "What's a Klondike bar?"
"It's a delicious frozen treat; vanilla ice cream covered in a layer of crunchy chocolate. Mmm, " Harry said, rubbing his stomach. "Anyway, what would you do for one?"
"I dunno, but it sounds really good to me," Ron said, moving his queen to put Harry's king in checkmate.
"Up for another game?" Ron grinned at Harry. "Ready to lose again?"
"How about we play a different game?"
"What do you want to play?" Ron asked warily.
"Name something that I have to do, and if I do it, you have to get me a Klondike bar."
"What is with you and these bloody Klondike bars?"
"Come on, dare me to do something," Harry grinned crazily.
"This is stupid. Even if you do the dare, how am I supposed to get one of these bars?"
"That's for you to figure out . C'mon, tell me what to do!"
"Fine! If I do, will you shut up?" Ron yelled, and a girl that was reading at a table next to them shot him a dirty look.
"Yes!"
"Okay, let me think." Ron said. "Um, how about you go um...take a bath with Snape."
Ron snickered; Harry would never do that.
Harry's jaw dropped. "You're on! I'll do it for a Klondike bar!"
Four days passed, and Ron forgot all about the bet, but Harry hadn't; he was waiting for the opportune moment...
That night, Harry sat on his bed in the dormitory, took out the Marauder's map yet again, and searched for Snape on it like he had done for the past few days...how long did Snape go without bathing? Judging by the look of his very greasy hair in today's potions lesson, he had to be showering soon...
There he was! Snape was headed towards the teacher's bathroom.
Harry jumped up, grabbed his invisibility cloak from his trunk, and raced down the stairs to the common room.
Harry scanned the room, looking for Ron; he was playing a game of exploding snaps with Hermione and Ginny in the corner.
"Ron, you'd better have a plan to get the Klondike,'cause I'm taking a bath with Snape!"
Hermione and Ginny stared at Harry as he left through the portrait door.
"Tell me I heard wrong," Ginny said. "Harry's not really going to take a bath with Snape, is he?"
"I honestly don't know." Ron sighed. "He keeps going on about something called a Klondike bar... he made a bet with me and if he wins, I have to get him one."
"Ooh, I love Klondike bars!" Hermione said.
"Not you too!" Ron groaned.
"I'd like to try one of these bars, if they're that good," Ginny said, while Hermione nodded enthusiastically, licking her lips.
"Get us each one when you get one for Harry, Ron." Ginny said.
"How do you know he'll win the bet?" Ron said grumpily.
"Oh, please, Ron. Really? Harry would do anything for a Klondike bar." Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "I might even consider doing something crazy for one..." she batted her lashes at him.
"Okay, I'm not understanding any of this..I'm going to bed." Ron went off to his dormitory while Hermione continued telling Ginny all about the delicious frozen treats.
Harry, meanwhile, was slinking through the dark Hogwarts corridors, under his invisibility cloak, every so often looking at the Marauder's Map that he was holding in his hand.
He was almost to the teacher's bathroom. Snape was coming from the other direction, but Harry got there before him, cracked open the door, and slipped through.
It was a big white tiled room which contained five bathroom stalls and some porcelain sinks and ornately carved mirrors. There was a door leading to another side room, and Harry entered.
This room was a little smaller and had three upright shower stalls, and a large in ground bath that was in the middle of the room. There was a small shelf against the wall holding everything you could want for a bath; different kinds of liquid and bar soaps, shampoos for every kind of hair, clean, fluffy towels, soft, white bath robes and slippers, scrubbies, washclothes, bubble bath solutions, bath salts, and much more to make for a relaxing bath. Harry sat next to the shelf and settled down, waiting.
Snape entered a few minutes later, wearing a green dressing robe, and holding a black towel with the monogram, S.S., a book, and a plastic shampoo bottle.
He was muttering to himself about Mrs. Norris, Filch's beady-eyed cat.
"Bloody cat...tries to trip me up...let's see how she likes it when I slip a balding concoction into her milk... I don't know why nobody likes me. Am I too different? Too strict? And so what if I always wear black? It's none of Flitwick's business. 'Maybe you'd be less depressed if you wore cheerier colors..' When I die, it will be from stress from all these incompetent fools.."
Snape placed the bottle, book, and towel on the small rack next to the bath. He stopped suddenly, and looked around suspiciously, as if he could sense Harry.
Then he shook his head wearily and removed his robe. He was wearing a bathing suit underneath that had the Chudley Cannons logo on them. Harry almost laughed out loud. Chudley Canons, really? Wait till he told Ron.
Snape was very skinny, with a pale white chest, and knobbly knees. No wonder he never got dates, Harry thought.
Snape turned the spigots and the tub began filling with steaming water. Snape slipped into the water, and groaned as the heat soaked into him. He closed his eyes for a minute, then grabbed his book, said a spell to waterproof it, then opened it and started reading.
Harry sat in his corner and waited for the right moment.
About twenty minutes later, Snape had fallen asleep in the warm water.
Harry quietly got up, pulled a small camera out of his pocket, and holding it above the water so it didn't get wet, slid into the tub next to Snape. He pulled the cloak so that it just uncovered his head, and snapped a picture of him and Snape.
Then Harry climbed back out of the tub, grabbed Snape's shampoo bottle{Dr. Ott's solution for greasy, oily hair}, and said an incantation to turn Snape's dressing robe hot pink before he running out before Snape woke up.
Harry walked up the Gryffindor table next morning at breakfast where Ron, Ginny and Hermione were sitting.
"Ron, you owe me!"
"You did it?" Ron said skeptically. "You really took a bath with Snape?"
Harry nodded.
"Do you have proof?"
Harry took a photo out of his pocket, and put it down on the table next to Ron's oatmeal along with the bottle of Dr. Ott's shampoo.
Ron stared at the photo wide-eyed; it showed Harry's head floating in midair next to the sleeping Snape in a bath full of soap suds.
"OH MY GOODNESS! Harry! You didn't!" Hermione squealed.
"Yes I did, and now you owe me a Klondike bar!"
"But, I don't know where to get them!" Ron sputtered.
"That's your problem!" Harry strutted away.
Somehow, the photo wound up posted on every bulletin board, in every classroom, and in every common room{except somebody had erased Harry's face from the picture, so that it just showed Snape snoring in the bubbles}.
Snape was in a very bad temper for the next month, giving out detentions and taking away house points from anyone he was suspicious of taking the photo. He never did find out that it was Harry.
And his hair was even greasier than usual until he could get a replacement for his shampoo.{he found the bottle that was stolen in front of the door to his office, empty, with a note besides it that said,"Good Luck with your Condition"}
Of course, no one dared make fun of Snape to his face, but every time his back turned, the whispers would start again.
Harry never did get his Klondike bar from Ron, because Ron couldn't find one, and they all forgot about it until Harry's 31st birthday, when Ron forgot to gey Harry a present.
Harry reminded him of his promise years before, and made Ron buy him a Klondike bar. "Better late than never." Harry said, taking a huge bite out of his hard won treat.
Review please! What would YOU do for a Klondike?