"Hey, what's this ornament?" Dave asked, holding up the purple and white decorated ball. Erin smiled gently as she took it from his hands to hold in her own. "I take it that has some special importance, seeing as how it has its own box and everything."
She nodded, feeling tears prickle her eyes. "My grandmother made this for me, my first year in college. I couldn't come home, since I couldn't afford it, so she sent me this to hang in my dorm room. I've never let it go since then."
He nodded and leaned in to kiss her sweetly. She sighed, relishing the feel of his lips on hers. "And you've brought it here to share with me. Won't your children miss it on the tree at home?"
"They're in Aspen with their father and Buffy. So, I'm all yours this holiday season." She hadn't wanted to be reminded of the fact that they had abandoned her family, it still stung. He must have picked up on her mood, though, as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to his chest.
"It's okay to cry, Erin." She nodded and let the first tears fall. "Now, let's hang this ornament on the tree before we lose track of it." He led her over to the tree and turned her gently towards it. "I think the perfect spot is right below the angel."
"David Rossi, are you trying to make me cry on purpose?" she murmured as she hung it in the spot he indicated.
"Not really. I just figured…well…" His voice became thick with unshed tears and she cupped his face with her hands, looking into his eyes. "I figured it would be like our loved ones watching over us."
"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" She kissed him once more before nuzzling her face into the shoulder of his plaid shirt. "I don't think it would hurt as much if I hadn't gotten the birth announcement right before coming over." She had known that Buffy had been pregnant, but not that she had been due so close to Christmas.
"Let me guess, they gave the poor bambina a ridiculous name like Holly or Noel or Joy."
She nodded, letting out a water laugh as they finished decorating the tree with the ornaments she had brought over. "If I remember rightly, her name is Carole Noel." Her lover let out a loud laugh, and she couldn't help but giggle with him.
"Well, she never struck me as the brightest light bulb in the pack." She nodded and placed the last ornament on the tree, smiling as she stepped back to look at their work. "You made the tree look whole, cara. Thank you for bringing over your ornaments."
"I figured this was the next natural step in our relationship. I'm not quite ready to move in with you, but I do want to share more of our lives." Sighing, she took a seat on the sofa and curled a leg beneath her. Dave joined her a moment later, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "But I do miss the nights when you're not here. Even when I am at my own home."
"And I miss you on those nights we don't spend together. So why are you hesitant to move in here? You'd have time to yourself, given how often I'm in the field."
She shrugged. "I guess, since I was with Alan for so long, I just want a little independence before I move on. It does seem rather silly, given the lives we lead, doesn't it?" Erin began to play with the buttons on his shirt, working them from the holes to slip her hand underneath and tug on his chest hair. "But do you really want to spend our holiday moving my things here?"
"If it meant spending nights by the fireplace with you every time I'm home, than yes." She moved back to look at him, a smile spreading across her face. "I want to be with you, forever, or at least as long as you'll have me."
She nodded and rested her head once more on his chest, pressing her lips against the place she knew his heart to be. "I don't think anything could possibly make me happier this Christmas. Well, save for getting a call from one of my children."
"Oh, Erin, I hope that you do get your Christmas wish. Let's head up to bed." He stood and helped her up, leading her over to the stairs. They climbed slowly, kissing on the way up, undoing fastenings on their clothes. By the time they reached the bedroom, she was slipping her bra off her shoulders and he was shaking his legs out of his pants.
Slipping beneath the covers, he was quick to spoon up against her body, molding them together. "I saw the baby ornament next to mine by the angel. Would you tell me a little more about James?"
"They didn't have the technology back then to tell us something was wrong with the pregnancy. And yet, Carolyn worried about it the entire time. He was five weeks early, which should have been no problem, even in the seventies. But the cord had become wrapped around his neck sometime in the pregnancy, and the oxygen was cut off for too long. The doctors gave us two options – we could put him on ventilators and machines and see if he responded, not knowing if he could feel anything, or we could let nature take its course."
"And you chose nature."
"We did. He held on for about four hours, and neither of us could stop crying long enough to get a good look at his face. They didn't take any pictures of him, of us together. It just wasn't done in those days."
Erin turned and brought her hands up to his face, brushing her thumbs against his cheeks. "And you buried that hurt deep inside."
"Yes. I guess that's what also drove a wedge between us. Carolyn wanted to talk about it, but I couldn't. I had learned to bury feelings like that when I was in the war, and it took me a long time to reconnect with those feelings."
She nodded as she leaned in to kiss him gently. "I did the same thing with alcohol. My feelings were too much and I couldn't talk about them to anyone. No one wanted to listen, even though I was screaming on the inside."
"Who do you talk to now? You've never told me."
Erin smiled gently. "I'm surprised she hasn't let anything slip to you yet."
"Wait, let me guess. I know it's not Blake, you two cannot stand each other, and that's okay. She's a bit…"
"Bitchy?"
"I was going to go for strident, but that works, too. Jen probably wouldn't be the one to talk to you, even if you two have made up a little since the whole State Department debacle. And I know that wasn't your decision, she just couldn't help blaming you. That just leaves Penelope." Erin nodded and he smiled. "You couldn't ask for a better confidante. Even if she did crack under pressure that one time…"
"What?"
"Yeah, back when I rejoined the Bureau, I asked her to look up some information on a case that had gone unsolved. She was really worried about my mental state and sent the team after me. She is so tenacious when she thinks that someone she loves is hurting. She'll do everything in her power to make things right."
"I have noticed her tendency to tilt at windmills. Especially when it comes to cases involving children. She always talks about how every mother's child deserves a happy ending." She let out a long breath before dropping her head onto her lover's chest. "I rather love that about her."
"There's a lot about her to love. But sleep now, bella. Tomorrow, we'll start the task of moving you here." He kissed the top of her head as she yawned deeply, letting her eyes close heavily.
When she woke up in the morning, she found that he had laid an outfit for her over the end of the bed. Getting up, she pulled the clothes on before heading to the bathroom and peeing. After washing her hands, she made her way down to the kitchen, the delicious scent of breakfast wafting up the stairs. "Good morning, Davie. Do I smell French toast?"
"That you do, Erin. Sit, it's just about ready." She did so and he set a plate in front of her. Erin dug in hungrily as he sat next to her. "So, I was thinking we could get everything important taken care of today."
"And just what do you consider important?" she asked as she sipped at her coffee.
"Your clothes and pictures. I know there's going to be some furniture that you'll want here, too, but that can be taken care of later, when I can get Morgan and Hotch to lend me a hand." He kissed her cheek and she smiled as she wiped the sticky feel of syrup away.
"That probably is doable. So, if you'll gather up all the photos and knickknacks from the house, I'll pack up my clothes. Why don't you find some boxes to take over while I wash the dishes?" He nodded and got up, kissing her cheek once more. Shaking her head, she made her way to the sink and began to run hot water.
It didn't take long to get them all washed and then she was joining Dave out in the garage, pulling on her coat as she grinned at him. "Is everything all set, bella?"
"Yes. I brought your keys out with me, too." She dangled them in front of him and he grabbed them before wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her into a passionate embrace. She melted into him, letting him kiss her deeply as his hands slid down her back to cup her ass, pulling her tight against his body.
"Uhm, if we keep doing that, we'll never get anywhere today. We could save that for later." She smiled at him and he nodded, reluctantly letting go of her. They climbed in his SUV and he drove quickly to her house. "I'll head upstairs. Just, be careful with the more breakable things."
"I will be, bella." She kissed him softly before heading up the stairs, humming under her breath as she closed the door behind her. Throwing open the closet doors, she pulled out her suitcases, laying them open on the bed before starting to place everything inside them. The closet went quickly, and then she moved on to the dresser. "Is there anything up here ready to put in the car?"
"Yes, take the two big suitcases down with you. I'm almost finished up here and then I can help you with the pictures and things."
"All right." He picked up the suitcases, pausing to kiss her before leaving the room. She quickly finished packing up her lingerie, zipping the last case. Then she sat on the bed, looking around the room. While it looked the same, it felt different to her and she sighed. The phone ringing startled her and she reached over for the bedside handset.
"Hello?"
"Mom! I was hoping you'd be home. You didn't pick up last night, and I didn't want to interrupt if you were with Dave."
The voice of her youngest child poured over her like a balm and she smiled as she flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I was with him, yes. Actually, we're moving my things over to his place today."
"What? But, that's home!" she exclaimed, sounding upset.
"For you, but not for me any longer. My home is with Dave, my heart is with Dave." She took a deep breath. "I don't expect you to understand, honey, but I need this. Besides, you have your siblings and father, and Buffy and the baby. You've built a new life with them, just as I've built a new life with my beloved." A few tears began to roll down her face and she swiped them away, hoping her daughter couldn't hear her distress.
"That's not the same and you know it. Merry Christmas." Lydia hung up and she burst into tears, turning over and burying her face in her pillow. Moments later, she felt the bed dip and knew that Dave had joined her. She snuggled close to his body, wanting the warmth he offered.
"Who was that?" he asked softly as he rested his arm around her waist.
"Lydia. She doesn't want me to move. I'm the bad mother for moving on with you. Would you just hold me for a little while?" He nodded against her shoulder and tightened his grip. Sighing, she turned to face him, resting her forehead against his. "Some Christmas this is turning out to be."
"Don't say that, bella. The Christmas season is only just beginning. I will turn this around for you." His hands rubbed up and down her back and she tried to smile, even as she continued crying. "What can I do to make things better?"
"Just love me."
"That's easy enough to do, Erin. You were made to be loved by me." He leaned in for a kiss and she refused to let go of him, letting the kiss linger and then deepen. Finally, they broke apart and he smiled at her. "You fill my heart with joy every time you do that, you know. And all I want to do is make you happy."
"And you do. I love you so much that it frightens me at times. We certainly disliked each other there for a time, and then I fell so completely head over heels so quickly. Especially since you made me feel so welcome when I came back." He nodded and reached up to caress her face.
"I love you, too, Erin." He kissed her once more and then tweaked her nose. "It doesn't frighten me, but it did startle me how quickly I fell for you. I wasn't expecting that."
"I like not having expectations. It makes our life together that much sweeter. Could we go home now?" He nodded and helped her up out of the bed.
"I'll have the guys come over and bring the furniture home between Christmas and New Year's. Will that be all right?"
"Fine." She rested her head on his chest as they made their way down the stairs. Someone knocked on the front door just as they were going to step into the garage and she pulled away. "I wonder who that could be?"
"Let's go find out." He led them back into the foyer and he opened the door. "Delora?"
"Delora! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with your father."
"We got in a fight, and I caught the first flight home. Then Lydia called and told me that you're moving in with David today. I had to see if it was true. Are you going to sell the house then?"
"I haven't decided yet, sweetheart. Do you want to come over to our place?"
Her eldest smiled, nodding quickly. "I'd like that, Mama. If you two don't mind."
They both looked up at Dave, and he smiled widely. "That would be fine, cara. Just follow us home." She nodded and they parted ways. On the drive home, she snuggled into the seat, watching her lover. "What is it, bella?"
"Thank you. I hope that she really is okay with this. If Delora can't convince them to see things my way, nothing will be able to do so."
"She came with us, didn't she? If that doesn't mean she's trying…"
"I know. I just wish that I could see everything with rose colored glasses." Absently, she pulled out her pendant and ran it back and forth on its chain. He pulled into their drive and Delora followed, parking next to the garage. She popped inside and grabbed hold of her mother's hand, squeezing tightly. "Hi, honey."
"So, this is where you want to call home. I don't blame you, it's lovely."
"And huge," Dave drolly added.
"There is that. You are a famous writer, after all. And there's the cabin by the lake. You'll love that place, too." Her daughter nodded and followed her into the living room where the tree stood. For the first time, Erin noticed the presents that were under the tree. Besides the few she had gotten Dave, there were now a number of other gifts.
"Is there anything here for me?"
Erin shook her head. "No. Sorry. I was figuring on getting you three giftcards to iTunes or something. You never tell me what you want anymore, and Buffy always seems ready to outdo me. My sponsor told me that I have to let things like that go. I'm not very good at that, yet, I'm afraid."
Delora hugged her tightly and Erin could feel tears wet her shirt. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Mama." Erin rubbed her back gently as Dave led them over to the sofa, getting them to sit. "Things are just changing so quickly, and Buffy wants to be friends, and you were distant, and I'm sorry." Her daughter began to sob and Erin felt herself tear up in response. "You still love me, right?"
"Oh, Dellie, I could never stop loving you. Did you bring you suitcase so you can stay here?"
Her daughter nodded and Erin smiled wobbly at Dave. He nodded and joined them on the sofa, sitting next to her as he wrapped his arm around her waist. It was beginning to feel so comfortable, this time that she spent with him, and she hoped that her children would come to look on him favorably. "Where's my room going to be?"
"Take you pick of bedrooms. You'll know which one is ours, but any other one is free." She nodded as she pulled back from Erin to stand and disappear into the house. "You're wrong, you know. There are presents for all your children underneath our tree. I happened to pick them up while we were at your place."
"Thank you." She kissed him gently and he pressed further, pinching her side. Giggling, she batted his hand away and then kissed his cheek. "I love you."
"Don't I know it, but not half as much as I love you." She shook her head and he nodded. "There will never be time enough to tell you just how deep my love is for you."
"And there would never be enough words to describe how much I love you." She rested her head on his shoulder, watching the tree sparkle and shine. At least she had her oldest child here with her and Dave in this moment. It was a start, and she couldn't really ask for more.