Harry's strollin down the street with his home rolled cigar in is teeth, lookin over at the two bitches linked at his arms. Damn, he thought, this pimp life is the best! He pulled a bottle of Triple sec out of his coat and took a big swig. "Ahhh" He said loudly.
"Man Harry, you need'a quit that shit. I mean you wanna keep pimpin us bitches better than a cat licks its own ass then go ahead, but quit the drinkin excessively man!"
"Alright Lonoquita! I'll give tha shit up! Although it'll take alot of AA to rid me of my habit! And what about my drug dealin business? I mean i sell 20 Kilos of crack a day! You know how much that is? Thats like 200 million Galleons!
"Harry, you are a fucking shit face dung eating ass licking bastard that only fucks cats and mice and you fucking dont give the light of day about yourself or us so shut the fuck up!"
"Um..huh?" said Harry timidly.
"Oh sorry Prozac's got me in some major mood swings..cough, cough." Said Lonoquita.
"Gotcha" said Harry.
Then Harry realized that his other bitch, Hermione Granger was pretty quiet. Then he realized that she was talkin to some man. He was being kinda flirtatious to her.
"This shit aint gonna cut it," Said Harry, "And for free? Uh uh. um Excuse me will all shit faced bastards please get the fuck off my hoes! Shit man! I mean come on Hermione is prime flesh! 100 galleons and hour man! Shit!"
"Um..Harry...this is my dad." Said Hermione.
"Shit," muttered Harry, "The third time this week. Fuck me. Will someone just kill me now. SHIT! I'm the worst pimp ever."
"It's ok Harry, my dad wants to buy Lonoquita! He says shes a major hottie" said Hermione
*
The Story's really bad huh? Maybe i'll make it turn around...
*
.......Back at Hogwarts.............
"Where the fuck is Harry?" said Ron Weasley.
"I don't fuckin know but keep doin that shit that feels so good....uhhh!" Said an all too familar voice. It was Pavarti Pavil.
"Pavarti all im doing is massaging your lower back." He said with a grin. With my dick..hehe
"Ron....do you want to have sex?" Said Pavarti.
"I dont know Pavarti...what do you think...'' Said Ron
"Ok then, meet me in umm...10 minutes in my room." replied Pavarti.
"Shit! What am I gonna do about this fucking piece of yarn in my pants?" Then he remembered Harry's enlargement charm. "Viagrate!" he said pointing the wand to his extremly small pecker. Amazingly, it grew to the size of a banana. "Yes!" He said, "FINALLY!"
So, he went up to Pavarti's room and she was standing there in a black teddy, and he felt his banana in his pants go bezerk. He ripped odd his pants and Pavarti's reaction was amazing.
"Damn boy! You're hung like a Banana! Or a horse! Or my fucking great Uncle Larry! Err..that last one slipped." Said Pavarti
"Damn right bitch! He went over to her and they got the hibbity-dibbity on. End of that story.
They woke up the next morning in her bed and she giggles, "Ron, you want another go?"
Ron wasn't sure is his charm had worn off or not. He checked out his pecker. It was the size of a cockroach. "Shit! Shit shit shit!" He thought to himself. "Um....not now Pavarti, I need to get back to my dorm...they might think something's up."
"Ok Banana-Boy....Hehe"
"Have a good day" and he walked out.
He walked in to find Harry asleep on the floor, with a burnt our joint in his hand and a 40 on the floor with a pool of beer next to it. He seemed to be whisperin something about, "No Uncle Vernon, I dont want to do that to your pecker while Dudley videotapes it..."
"Wake up, wise ass" Ron said giving Harry a good kick in the chest.
"FUCK! Why the fuck do I have to get my ass kicked in every single one of these FICS!?" Said Harry "I mean its bad enough this writer wrote a piece of SHIT fic, but he wants to take the anger out one me?"
Ron pulled out a 12 gauge and hit Harry in the face with the stock. "Fuck you, this writer is awesome! He gave me some pussy from Pavarti!"
"Pavarti? The whore?" Ron kicked him in the eye "I mean...um Pavarti's a nice girl!"
"Yeah she is", said Ron, "and some quality pussy."
"What the fuck ever. Anyways I am a lousy pimp, I mean the best business we got last night was Hermiones fuckin old man. What the shit is that! And now i'm in this lame ass fic with a no body friend whose fuckin a slut and Hermione's dad is fuckin Foloquita!"
"I'm tired of your shit Harry! Go to FUCKING HELL!" just then he turned around the gun and shot harry 68 times in the face with buckshot.
Author's note: I thought a deathmatch at the end would be nice! I know this fic sucked.....i couldnt think of anything and its too early for this shit! Anyway more fics to come soon. -dobby
"Man Harry, you need'a quit that shit. I mean you wanna keep pimpin us bitches better than a cat licks its own ass then go ahead, but quit the drinkin excessively man!"
"Alright Lonoquita! I'll give tha shit up! Although it'll take alot of AA to rid me of my habit! And what about my drug dealin business? I mean i sell 20 Kilos of crack a day! You know how much that is? Thats like 200 million Galleons!
"Harry, you are a fucking shit face dung eating ass licking bastard that only fucks cats and mice and you fucking dont give the light of day about yourself or us so shut the fuck up!"
"Um..huh?" said Harry timidly.
"Oh sorry Prozac's got me in some major mood swings..cough, cough." Said Lonoquita.
"Gotcha" said Harry.
Then Harry realized that his other bitch, Hermione Granger was pretty quiet. Then he realized that she was talkin to some man. He was being kinda flirtatious to her.
"This shit aint gonna cut it," Said Harry, "And for free? Uh uh. um Excuse me will all shit faced bastards please get the fuck off my hoes! Shit man! I mean come on Hermione is prime flesh! 100 galleons and hour man! Shit!"
"Um..Harry...this is my dad." Said Hermione.
"Shit," muttered Harry, "The third time this week. Fuck me. Will someone just kill me now. SHIT! I'm the worst pimp ever."
"It's ok Harry, my dad wants to buy Lonoquita! He says shes a major hottie" said Hermione
*
The Story's really bad huh? Maybe i'll make it turn around...
*
.......Back at Hogwarts.............
"Where the fuck is Harry?" said Ron Weasley.
"I don't fuckin know but keep doin that shit that feels so good....uhhh!" Said an all too familar voice. It was Pavarti Pavil.
"Pavarti all im doing is massaging your lower back." He said with a grin. With my dick..hehe
"Ron....do you want to have sex?" Said Pavarti.
"I dont know Pavarti...what do you think...'' Said Ron
"Ok then, meet me in umm...10 minutes in my room." replied Pavarti.
"Shit! What am I gonna do about this fucking piece of yarn in my pants?" Then he remembered Harry's enlargement charm. "Viagrate!" he said pointing the wand to his extremly small pecker. Amazingly, it grew to the size of a banana. "Yes!" He said, "FINALLY!"
So, he went up to Pavarti's room and she was standing there in a black teddy, and he felt his banana in his pants go bezerk. He ripped odd his pants and Pavarti's reaction was amazing.
"Damn boy! You're hung like a Banana! Or a horse! Or my fucking great Uncle Larry! Err..that last one slipped." Said Pavarti
"Damn right bitch! He went over to her and they got the hibbity-dibbity on. End of that story.
They woke up the next morning in her bed and she giggles, "Ron, you want another go?"
Ron wasn't sure is his charm had worn off or not. He checked out his pecker. It was the size of a cockroach. "Shit! Shit shit shit!" He thought to himself. "Um....not now Pavarti, I need to get back to my dorm...they might think something's up."
"Ok Banana-Boy....Hehe"
"Have a good day" and he walked out.
He walked in to find Harry asleep on the floor, with a burnt our joint in his hand and a 40 on the floor with a pool of beer next to it. He seemed to be whisperin something about, "No Uncle Vernon, I dont want to do that to your pecker while Dudley videotapes it..."
"Wake up, wise ass" Ron said giving Harry a good kick in the chest.
"FUCK! Why the fuck do I have to get my ass kicked in every single one of these FICS!?" Said Harry "I mean its bad enough this writer wrote a piece of SHIT fic, but he wants to take the anger out one me?"
Ron pulled out a 12 gauge and hit Harry in the face with the stock. "Fuck you, this writer is awesome! He gave me some pussy from Pavarti!"
"Pavarti? The whore?" Ron kicked him in the eye "I mean...um Pavarti's a nice girl!"
"Yeah she is", said Ron, "and some quality pussy."
"What the fuck ever. Anyways I am a lousy pimp, I mean the best business we got last night was Hermiones fuckin old man. What the shit is that! And now i'm in this lame ass fic with a no body friend whose fuckin a slut and Hermione's dad is fuckin Foloquita!"
"I'm tired of your shit Harry! Go to FUCKING HELL!" just then he turned around the gun and shot harry 68 times in the face with buckshot.
Author's note: I thought a deathmatch at the end would be nice! I know this fic sucked.....i couldnt think of anything and its too early for this shit! Anyway more fics to come soon. -dobby