AUTHOR: Graffiti
RATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: humor
SUMMARY: Phoebe goes on a rampage and begins smacking other AMC characters.
DISTRIBUTION: FF.Net, Fruitcake Alliance site, my site. Otherwise, ask.
DISCLAIMER 1: AMC characters belong to ABC/Disney.
DISCLAIMER 2: I didn't come up with the idea for this story, but I wish I had. It is used with permission. THWACK stories are property of the Fruitcake Alliance. To join the alliance, e-mail fruitcake headquarters at fruitcakehq@yahoo.com
Early one fine January morning, diners at the Valley Inn were both surprised and pleased to see Phoebe Wallingford come rolling into the restaurant in her motorized wheelchair. Phoebe didn't get out as much as she used to, so her presence was especially welcome today.
"Good afternoon, Phoebe," called Ethel Caldicott.
"Hello, Mrs. Wallingford," greeted Julius Trenton. "It's been a while."
Regally nodding but not speaking, Phoebe drove on without slowing her pace. Around chairs and waiters, bypassing acquaintances, her single-minded purpose brought her towards a table near the rear of the room whose occupants had not yet noticed her.
Up she drove, coming to a halt beside Edmund Grey's chair. Not sparing a second glance at the unfamiliar man with whom he was dining, Phoebe looked straight at Edmund.
In the middle of a sentence, he noticed her and smiled. "Oh, hi, Phoebe. It's nice to see you."
THWACK! Phoebe promptly smacked Edmund upside the head.
"Phoebe!" Edmund gasped. "What are you doing?"
"That was for being a holier-than-thou, smug, fickle, self-proclaimed-king-of-Wildwind pig who dumped poor Brooke like last week's trash without a second thought for her welfare or feelings," Phoebe rattled off precisely.
Edmund's jaw dropped. Phoebe struck again. THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!
Edmund cringed away and stared at Phoebe. "What were THOSE for?"
"Your hair used to be all curly and cute but it hasn't been that way for years now," Phoebe replied. Finished, she spun her wheelchair around and motored away, leaving a roomful of shocked witnesses behind.
Once safely outside the room, Phoebe stopped, pulled a piece of paper out of her purse, put a check mark next to Edmund's name, and surveyed the remainder of her list. So many people to thwack, so little time. Luck was with her, though. As she was about to leave the building, Phoebe looked up and spotted her next target sitting across the lobby.