A/N: New story, obviously Mercentric and runs the length from post 4x05 to post 4x11. Hee. Obviously, just five chapters. Couldn't get the idea out of my head. Haha. Enjoy. Please read and review:)

The Elements of Meredith Grey

I'm Meredith Grey. Screwed up, messed up, and mostly running in circles. Yep, that's me. See, while most people think I've got everything in the palm of my hand, I don't. I live my life in complete imperfection, and for the most part, I think my life sucks the most.

There are five things that make Meredith Grey. All of the issues and the happy thoughts and the problems and teeny tiny insecurities inside the deep recesses of my brain come from these five things. Five things that make and break Meredith Grey. Five things you should know why I'm like this right now.

One: Medicine

Like I said before, I'm screwed. Well, actually I'm not but I tend to be glass half-empty most of the time that's why I think I'm screwed.

See, I'm standing here in the middle of OR 3 right beside my pseudo-father figure Richard Webber as he slices a man open while I hold a retractor in place, hissing instructions about suctioning to my intern at the same time. He then proceeds to tell us a story about one particular surgery he shared with my mother.

I'm screwed. Because inside this OR, there are about ten scrub nurses, some of which have actually lived to be in one of my mother's famous surgeries, one attending who at some point in his life has been one of my mother's suck-ups, and two of my interns who probably have heard of my mother's greatness when they were stupid little runts in med school. Oh, and did I mention that my mother Ellis Grey used to be the other woman in Richard Webber's life?

But that's beside the point. The point is, I'm Meredith Grey and my mother is THE great Ellis Grey. It's either I'm going to be as good as she was or I'm going to suck at it and people will hate me. It's something I have to live with because I don't have a freakin' choice.

Two hours later, I realize I've been standing in the scrub room staring at the sink and my arms are still dripping wet. I didn't even notice the Chief standing behind me as I continued to stare at the metal faucet for no particular reason. There was actually a reason, but, it's not like he would know that by staring at me.

"Meredith?" I turn around and find the Chief's face wrinkling in confusion as he stared at me. "Are you alright?"

"Chief!" I mumble sort of incoherently, grabbing a paper towel from the dispenser beside me. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… lost track of time I guess." Somewhere deep in the recesses of my brain, I knew that was a lame excuse. How the hell could someone just lose track of time standing in front of a sink anyway?!

He tilts his head ever so slightly to the side, probably trying to gauge if I was telling him the truth. I continue to wipe my arms dry, my eyes intently focused on my hands and I could literally feel the Chief staring at me. Boring into my innermost thoughts just by staring at me. Reading my body language as if it would lead him into some insight as to what I was thinking.

Either that or he's just way too amused as he continued to stare at me. If that was the case, then Richard Webber was officially scary.

"Your mother would be very proud of you today." He said softly, his hand resting lightly on my shoulder. I smile at him weakly and direct my gaze back towards the cold metal sink, partly remembering the washing away of my mother's ashes I did a few days ago. "You did a good job earlier." He adds, smiling slightly at me.

"I… uh… thanks." I mutter softly before I face him again.

The thing is, the surgery we just did wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The guy needed an appendectomy, I've had it done before, I've seen it done a hundred times (literally) and the Chief of Surgery is still standing in front of me, commending me for doing a great job out of something I've seen before. It was incredibly weird, and scary, and very, very confusing.

"You remind me so much of Ellis when we were both residents." He says slowly, careful to look at me in the eye. Somewhere deep inside, I really didn't want to talk to the Chief of Surgery about my mother, especially after I learn that my mother was the ex-mistress. "You're a very insightful young woman. A surgeon with great skills in precision and accuracy. You obviously got that from your mother." Richard utters proudly as he crosses his arms across his chest and continue to stare at me.

I stare right back at him. See, the thing is, I don't like being compared to my mother. Or being told that I am just like her. Because deep inside this dark and twisty head of mine, I am Meredith Grey—Ellis Grey's ordinary, unfocused and oftentimes a failure of a daughter. I'm not the great, intellectual doctor everyone thinks I am, because for the most part, I can't even figure out my own life.

"You were born to be a surgeon, Meredith."

Boom. There it goes. I absolutely have no idea how we ended up with this conversation about me being a surgeon, seeing as it stemmed from me staring blankly at the sink. But we're here now, the Chief of Surgery and me, talking about how I was born to be a surgeon. I exhale deeply, the words barely even sinking the minor processes of my brain.

"Oh…"

I really wanted to believe what the Chief said. I really wanted to believe the words that Richard Webber had just said, but the truth is I don't. The only reason he's saying that is because Ellis Grey is my mother, and her so-called legacy is haunting me. He's only saying that because he loved Ellis Grey at some point in his life, and he promised her that he'd take care of me.

Medicine is my life. I was born into the world of medicine, with what my mother was and my father being a medical researcher. I've always wanted to be a doctor, but not because of Ellis Grey. I've always wanted to feel the thrill that my mother felt when I watched her while growing up. I've always wanted to heal people because seriously, healing others means I can heal myself too. But then, my life is screwed, and it's not because of the medicine. It's because I'm the daughter of the great Dr. Ellis Grey, and being her daughter, officially, makes your life as screwed as hell.