It almost hurts now. I look to him, contentment on his sorry face. He stares longingly at me and I know just how deeply he trusts me. These thoughts I have so often I can never be rid of, I conclude. It would be far too easy to strike him dead this very second, not if just with my PAK's legs but with my simple claws. A quick gesture, stabbing into his soft stomach. He'd die. He wouldn't have time to even question me about it. He'd be gone like that and I could resume my mission. Of course I could never, this curious fact ever so haunting me. The human's hand slips into mine. His body gives off a higher amount of heat than my own and I welcome the contact.
"You look so far away…" He quietly mumbles. The Dib-beast is very insightful. I sigh at him and he gives me a small frown reaching to touch my face. I lean backwards a little. I cannot allow him to touch me now, not after such miserable thoughts had formed in my mind.
"I- You trust me." I state. It's in my nature to keep my thoughts to myself, after all I am designed to either take orders or give them, Irkins had no time for personal thoughts.
"With my life." He purrs. I feel sick to my stomach. Humans could so easily be swayed by the feelings in their gut brought about by such simple affectionate gestures.
"Dib-worm, that's not a good thing." I muse. He again frowns at me with those droopy dark brown eyes that are almost cringe worthy at this point. I was very good at hurting him. No, not physical abuse we were far past that. I could so simply and accidently hurt him in a way I found far worse.
If the human had taught me anything it's two things, Irkins could feel emotions too and they hurt worse than any injury. It made me regret finding myself on this planet, one so fully driven by these creatures need for connections. It was almost disgusting how easily it had changed me too. I suppose it was just my way of adapting to my new home. Was this home? It had been a long time since I had done anything in the realm of trying to conquer this place. That was also the humans fault of course. The planet had never given him any form of reason to hold it in such high regard but he did. With these new found emotions, and my utter weakness to Dib I could not dare try to destroy or alter the planet in which he found so much love for.
Dib seemingly ignores my statement and pulls me into an embrace. This common human affection being once in which I took much joy in. Dib was extremely warm compared to myself and at times I found myself almost craving the heat of his company. I snuggle into it almost instinctively but in the same instance I bite him and crawl away.
"Zim?" He mutters sadly.
"You are so weak." I state glaring at him.
"How so?" He inquires.
"Don't you understand anything you foolish human? I could kill you so easily… so suddenly… I could trap you… I could get away with anything and you would haven't the slightest thought in your mind that I was capable." I pause for a moment. A look of pure confusion upon his face. "Look… I could hurt you and you wouldn't stand a chance… Doesn't that worry you?" His features again change. A small smile forming from the right corner of his lips.
"Zim you- You care about me don't you?" He asks teasingly. I'm taken back by him. A typical human response I assume.
"Look Dib, you shouldn't trust me. I care now, I really do. However, I am not designed to care." I explain. He rolls his eyes and pushes me into the bed.
"Look. I can handle myself. I know who to trust and who not to. Zim, you might not even believe it but I know I can trust you… All of this… It just proves that." He says. I want to believe him, but I cannot. If only he knew what I thought about while he slept. If only he could see all the blood staining my thoughts.
"I love you, Dib." I whisper. For now, I know that to be true. He says it back sweetly and I frown into his blue t-shirt. There could come a day very soon, where the mechanics of my design take over and I rid myself of him in order to complete my mission.