"The Amazing Pokémon Race"
By Joseph "Maniac" Cirillo III
Episode 1
You are about to read the story of a Pokémon-themed reality game show that could take place in the real world. The entire story is a work of parody protected under the First Amendment and all events are entirely fictional. In several cases, the names of famous people or technology involved with Nintendo or The Pokémon Company may be used.
Six teams, with two members in each team, anxiously stood in front of the building housing the hallowed offices of The Pokémon Company International in Japan. It is a beautiful spring morning, the sun is shining brightly, the birds chirp melodically in the background, and all of the teams are excited to begin their real world Pokémon journey.
A giant stage was set up in front of the office building. In the middle of the stage was a podium emblazoned with the logo of a Pokéball. Two very large banners of Mewtwo's Mega Evolutions graced the stage as well. A giant banner of Mega Mewtwo X hung on the left of the podium from at least twenty feet above the stage, and an identically sized banner emblazed with Mega Mewtwo Y hung on the right. As the cameras started to roll an orchestral rendition of a Pokémon battle theme played in the background and a tall man walked onto the stage. The man stepped behind the podium in front of the twelve contestants and introduced himself.
"Hi, I'm Bill from Nintendo," he began. "Welcome to The Great Pokémon Journey! All twelve of you have been chosen from all across the world to take part in this international competition to be the very best like no one ever was. Each of you have been paired up from our extensive search criteria. While your reasons for being here may be different, there is no question you are all considered some of the biggest Pokémon superfans in the world. Pokefandom reaches across generations and nationalities, and so does this competition."
A sassy supermodel dressed as a Pokémon Professor walked next to Bill with a stack of boxes.
"Before we get started we need to make sure all of you Pokémon Trainers are properly equipped," Bill continued his speech to the teams. "Every Pokémon Trainer going out on their Pokémon Journey never goes anywhere without their trusty Pokédex at their side, do they?"
The teams nodded in agreement as Bill took one of the boxes from the Pokémon Professor's hand and started to open it.
"That's why each one of you will be issued your own Pokédex," and as Bill said that he pulled out the contents of one of the boxes, "…in the form of the New Nintendo 3DS XL!"
The teams applauded again as Bill and the Pokémon Professor walked over to the first team.
Bill addressed the first team which was made up of a boy and girl who looked to be in their late teens, "Each team on this journey represents a specific Pokémon game generation. You are Team One, consisted of Trainers Red and Blue. While neither of you have met before today, you are two of the best YouTube personalities on the internet, with each of your channels focused on Pokémon history and lore. Combined, your videos have millions of views." Bill passed them each a New 3DS XL, and shook each of their hands. "Good luck to both of you."
Bill walked over to the next team, another teenage boy and girl team, and handed them their essential equipment.
"Team Two, consisted of Trainers Gold and Silver. You are two of the longest playing competitive Pokémon players, and have been professional rivals for quite some time. Well, now you'll have to put your rivalry aside to win this competition. I wish both of you luck."
Team Three eagerly anticipated Bill's address as he walked over to them. They looked to be among the oldest members of the group, they were comprised of a man and woman in their late twenties who had known each other for years.
"Team Three, consisted of Trainers Ruby and Sapphire. Ironically enough we chose those names for you because that happens to be your birthstones. You both make a successful series of hilarious Pokémon videos online, comprised of satirical redubs of the Pokémon: The Animated Series. Don't worry, we didn't call you here to issue a DMCA,"
The members of Team Three breathed out a sigh of relief as Bill continued, "We are here to congratulate you and wish you both the best of luck." With that, Bill handed them the latest Nintendo handhelds and continued to the next team.
The Pokémon Professor and Bill moved over to Team Four, who looked to be identical twin sisters, and handed each sister their new handhelds.
"Team Four, Trainers Diamond and Pearl, the only all-female team in this competition. You two have been battling each other in games of Pokémon since you both were children, and I think you lost count some time ago who has won the most battles." As he handed them each a New 3DS XL he added, "Good luck to both of you"
Team Five was a smiling couple in their early twenties. Everyone could clearly notice the two were holding each other's hands tightly as Bill walked over to them. "Team Five consists of Trainers Black and White, a couple who famously found each other online while sharing their mutual love of Pokémon. I saw your proposal video online, and I thought it was really cute when Black asked White to marry him. I know your intention is to get married after this competition ends, and I want to wish you both the best of luck, not just with this competition but with your future lives together."
Finally Bill and the Pokémon Professor walked over to the last team, comprised of a boy and girl that were no older than ten. "Last but not least is Team Six, and it consists of Trainers X and Y, proof that Pokémon fandom reaches all ages. You two are the youngest contestants going on this journey and you should be proud of yourselves for making it here. While you two may technically be the least experienced out of all the other teams, you both seem to have an uncanny natural skill for the game. We were tremendously impressed by your performances during last season's Pokémon X & Y championships, where you both became the best competitors in our Juniors Division. Don't ever let your rivals forget, Ash was only ten when he started on his Pokémon journey too."
Bill handed the final team their digital devices and as the Pokémon Professor walked off, Bill walked back to his podium to address all the teams directly, "Be good to these devices as you will need them to keep you up to date on your objectives and any new contest challenges that are issued while you're on your Pokémon Journey. Also, just like with a real Pokédex, each one is encoded with your Trainer identifications. Don't lose them or you may end up forfeiting the contest. On top of that, as a special bonus for being a part of this competition, your New Nintendo 3DS XLs include a digital copy of Pokémon Omega Ruby or Pokémon Alpha Sapphire! Part of Pokémon's Gotta Catch 'Em All philosophy is to trade your Pokémon with friends and allies, so we're issuing one game to each team member, so don't forget to trade!"
The crowd cheered and clapped in unison just as Bill dropped a bombshell on them and said, "But just before all of you get comfortable, we're going to be having an elimination challenge right here, and right now."
All twelve contestants suddenly became very anxious, none of them had any idea that there was going to be an elimination challenge today, and it was obvious they weren't prepared for it.
"The elimination challenge," began Bill, "will be in the form of a giant-scale Pokémon Battle!"
The crowd cheered and whistled, as the two Mega Mewtwo banners behind Bill fell to the ground to reveal two enormous high definition screens. However, the images on the giant screens were not images from any of the main Pokémon titles, but images from their downloadable puzzle game, Pokémon Battle Trozai.
Bill explained the rules of the elimination competition, "We just released Pokémon Shuffle for people to download free of charge on the Nintendo eShop, but we thought that for you guys, we would do something a little bit more challenging, so we're going to have you play something a little tougher, the downloadable title Pokémon Battle Trozai for the Nintendo 3DS. While the mechanics of Shuffle are very similar to Trozai, this game doesn't give you the time to plan out your strategies."
Then Bill dropped a huge revelation on the contestants, "This will not be just some simple two-player puzzle battle. We are going to set the clock for exactly five minutes and you are all going to complete as many puzzles as you can in the time allotted to you. When five minutes are up, we are going to add up the total score from all the puzzles each of you are able to complete in that time. Now, here's the tricky part, none of you will be able to go back and redo a puzzle once you've completed it. Does everyone understand?"
The teams nodded in compliance and Bill continued with his instructions, "Each of you will pick one player from your team to compete in this challenge. Choose wisely as you will be putting the future of your team in their hands. We will be giving each one of you similar puzzle boards, and whoever can achieve the five highest scores within the time limit will continue with their Pokémon Journey. Unfortunately, the person who places last will be packing up their bags and going home with their teammate."
The teams started to look at each other as they tried to decide who would be participating in this competition.
Red looked at Blue and said, "I've never even played any of the games in the Pokémon Trozai series, have you played them?"
Team Two started to do a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock to decide who would be competing in the challenge.
Diamond said to Pearl, "You go, sis, you're better at this game than I am."
Ruby looked at Sapphire and said, "I'm going, I love the Trozai series."
Trainers X and Y both just looked at each other blankly, unsure of what they could do. While both of them had played puzzle games in the past on their SmartPhones, neither one of them had played a Pokémon Trozai game before.
"Have you picked who will participate in this challenge?" asked Bill.
After some deliberation, Trainers Blue, X, Silver, Pearl, White and Ruby stood forward. They pulled out their New Nintendo 3DS XL units and fired them up for the first time. Nintendo had included a copy of Pokémon Battle Trozai on each of them, right next to their copies of Pokémon Omega Ruby and Pokémon Alpha Sapphire, so it didn't take long for any of them to boot up their games.
When the games booted up, it was clear that no save data had been stored in any of the systems, and each Trainer was essentially starting from scratch. Before the buzzer sounded to start the competition, X tugged on the sleeve of one of the show's producers to ask him how to play the game, as he had never played it before.
After the producer explained to X how to play the game, X replied, "Oh, so it's just like Bejeweled, got it."
All of the Trainers were now ready to start playing, and Bill started the countdown. A crowd of spectators started to form in front of the two big screens in anticipation for the start of the elimination competition.
"Five, four, three…two," and with a blast of confetti Bill shouted out the final number, "one!"
The sound of the confetti being blasted out of the stage's air cannons was deafening, but all of the trainers started to play immediately.
The spectators below the stage could see each competitor's progress as they competed level after level.
Trainer X, having never played the game before, took to it very well. While his score lagged behind in the first puzzle, once he realized that he could do more damage to Pokémon if he created combos using Pokémon of a type the puzzle was weak against, his score started to improve.
As White started to beat puzzle after puzzle she told the cameraman, "I've been playing the Pokémon Trozai games since it first appeared on the DS a few years ago. I'm not going to be the one who's getting eliminated today."
Ruby wasn't slouching either. After completing his third puzzle he told the cameraman, "I haven't played this game in quite a while. I played the original Pokémon Trozai game a few years ago and all my skills are coming back to me. I am totally going to win this."
Each competitor's teammate cheered them on in the background. Meanwhile, Blue was doing pretty well. She was able to complete the puzzles faster than any of the other trainers. As she completed a puzzle, she said to the camera, "I actually had played this game quite a lot on the plane ride over here, so I already know some of the best strategies for completing the puzzles quickly with a decent score." With that, she finished yet another puzzle.
As the other Trainers pushed forward, Pearl started to fall behind. While she had been a better player than her sister, neither one of them had played Pokémon Trozai in years. The reason why she had always played the game better than her sister was that Pearl always took a bit longer to see what larger combos she could make, instead of going for smaller combos faster. While that meant she could get a higher score per puzzle than the other trainers, she wasn't completing the puzzles as quickly as the others were. She didn't realize it, but Pearl's score was close to being overtaken by X's. Time was no longer on their side, as each trainer had less than one minute left to post the best total score they possibly could.
The buzzer sounded, and all of the trainer's scores were locked in. An air of silence fell over the crowd as the software engineers tallied up the final scores from each team. As the judges gave each other nods they signaled to the producer that they had reached a conclusion by giving him a thumbs up gesture. After that, they put the results in a high quality foil envelope and passed it to the producer.
The teams closed up their 3DS systems and walked back over to be with their teammates. High fives and hugs were had all around as they all waited anxiously for the results of the elimination contest to be read out.
A supermodel dressed as Officer Jenny walked over to Bill with an envelope. As he prepared to open it he said, "We have the results of the elimination contest right here. Let me remind all of you right now that the team that places in last will be going home."
Bill ripped open the envelope and read out the results, "In first place…is Team Five! Congratulations. For winning first place, you each will receive a brand-new big screen HDTV and the all new Nintendo Wii U system!"
Upon hearing this news, Black and White gave each other a long embrace. The other teams shyly looked away from their public display of affection.
"In second place, is Team One!"
Upon hearing that news, Red and Blue high fived each other.
Bill looked over at Team One and said, "For Winning second place, you've each won a brand new Wii U."
Red shouted, "Sweet!" at Bill, Blue nodded in agreement.
"In third place…is Team Three! For coming in third place, you'll each be getting a hundred dollar gift card, good for anything you would want to buy on the Nintendo eShop."
Ruby and Sapphire looked pleased.
"In fourth place…is Team Two! You will each receive a fifty dollar gift card for the Nintendo eShop."
The members of Team Two shook hands. While they both wished they could have placed higher, they were happy they were staying in the competition. As they walked over to join the other winning teams, the two teams who hadn't been placed yet stood together.
"We now come to the end of the elimination contest. The team who places fifth will not receive a prize but they will be allowed to continue with this competition, the team who places in sixth will be going home right now."
Teams Four and Six held their collective breath as they hoped to win the fifth spot.
"In fifth place…is Team Six!"
Team Six jumped in glee, Team Four bowed their heads in defeat.
Bill walked over to the members of Team Four and directly addressed them, "I'm afraid that means that you have been eliminated. Thank you so much for participating, girls, but this is the end of your Pokémon Journey. I wish you both the best."
Bill shook their hands and Diamond and Pearl walked off to talk to the cameras as the other teams applauded them for their efforts.
Pearl was very upset, so Diamond spoke first, "It is disappointing we were eliminated so soon."
Pearl took a deep breath and said, "I agree, I think we had a lot we could have brought to this competition if we were able to stay in longer."
One of the show's producers whispered something in Diamond's ear as Pearl continued to speak to the camera. Once Pearl finished talking, Diamond said, "Oh that's nice, they're telling us we could keep all of our prizes, including the 3DS systems and the games, and we will be flying home first class."
The twin sisters walked out of the confession booth and headed back to their hotel room to go pack their bags. As Team Four walked away, the remaining five teams started to relax a bit, and they congratulated each other on a job well done.
"I want to say congratulations to all of you for doing well in that competition. It's clear that we chose the right people to take this amazing journey. All of you should rest up, because your Pokémon Journey continues right here tomorrow!"
And that is the end of the first of our five episode series! We've got one heck of a season in store for our viewers. Friendships will be tested, alliances will be formed and broken, and you never know, maybe love will be in the air. To everyone watching this show at home, I'm Bill from Nintendo, see you next time on The Great Pokémon Journey.