Disclaimer: I don't own charmed and the song belongs to Audioslave and is 'Like A Stone' so no suing all you'll get is a busted computer.
Author's Note: warning there will be OOCness in this and it is AU/AR where it diverges from erm well got me, but it does. Also it does contain mentions of Character Death. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
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On a cold wet
afternoon
in a room full of emptiness
by a freeway
I confess I was lost in the pages
of a book
full of death
reading how we'll die alone
and if a god will lay to rest
anywhere we want to go
in your house
I long to be
room by room
patiently
I'll wait for you there
like a stone
I'll wait for you there
alone
It was cold, it was raining, and he was running though it all in his mind: All the death that had passed them by; All the destruction that they had avoided and reversed; All the things that could have happened but hadn't. It was all flashing though his mind like some sick twisted book that he couldn't put down. Most of all though he could see the end.
It had been a dark night, it had been a demon they should have had no problems with, but something had gone wrong. He hadn't been able to do a thing to help them and where ever Leo was he had been of just as much help. He had been the one to sit there with the three of them as the bled out. As they started to turn cold and stiff he finally showed up and cried over them or some time.
They had been a week ago now and still he could see it as clearly as yesterday. He could still feel the cold bite into him as it had then when he realized Phoebe was truly gone to him forever. He couldn't help wondering if the other man felt the same over Piper but he hadn't asked that night and hadn't seen him any night since.
He had left the mansion after it had all happened though He couldn't remember much after that until he woke up here the next morning, but he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to remember either for that matter. It hurt to much just remembering what he did, anything he had forgotten he wasn't sure he wanted to remember. Still despite all that he found himself longing to return to the old house and to wait for her to return even though he knew she wouldn't.
and on my death bed
I will prey
to the gods and the angels
like a pagan
to anyone who will take me to heaven
to a place
I would recall
I was there so long ago
the sky was bruised
the world was black
and there you led me on
It had been a month since he first woke up here covered in their blood and shivering in the cold. He had managed to keep himself alive, but only just. It had been a struggle and not just because food had been hard to come by. No it had been hard to force himself to go on remembering it every day, watching it play itself out again and again every time he shut his eyes.
He could feel himself getting weaker by the day though and knew it wouldn't be long. He found himself calling to Leo and the others wondering if they would let him join them in the clouds. He knew that's where his Phoebe was, she was one of the charmed ones after all where else would she be? No he knew that was where she would go, but he knew also that it wasn't a place meant for him. The light of the clouds was not something Cole Turner formerly known as Belthazor was meant to be no matter how he wished it. Still he called to them all the same, them and any angels who might be listing hoping maybe he would get his wish.
In your house
I long to be
room by room
patiently
I'll wait for you there
like a stone
I'll wait for you there
alone
He could feel the cold seeping into him even more and yet his thoughts returned to the manor once more. He longed to find the strength in him to return to it and to wait for her. Yes he knew she was dead, but some part of him still refused to accept it even if the rest of him knew it and did. He wanted to wait for her in the manor, wait for them all to return, but that took more strength then he held anymore. He blinked sleepily as his stomach protested a lack of food, but he easily ignored it as he had been for the past two days.
In all I read
till the day was gone
and I sat in regret
in all the things I've done
for all that I've blessed
and all that I've wronged
in dreams till my death
I will wonder on
His eyelid were heavy, but he didn't care anymore he had stopped trying to open them sometime ago. It felt like years since he had opened them last, since he had stopped caring enough to even try, but in truth it had only been a mere handful of hours. No matter the time though he could see that 'book' once more playing over his closed lids this time rather then just in his head. This time though it played over all the times he had wronged Phoebe and her sisters and over the times he was actually of a help to them. It was an unbalanced list in truth he realized and once more he knew why he would be going not to the clouds but to the very center of the earth.
In your house
I long to be
room by room
patiently
I'll wait for you there
like a stone
I'll wait for you there
alone
alone
Everything was getting fuzzy and it felt so odd. Still despite it all once more the thought came to him. If he could just go to the manor, if he could just wait there, surely she would come. She wouldn't leave him like this a broken mess killed by some low level demon. It just couldn't be could it?
Suddenly everything was clear once more. His stomach wasn't hurting and the cold wasn't even a thought in the back of his mind. Most of all she was there. They were back at the manor and it was all ok again.
He smiled his body so cold he couldn't feel it his hunger long past hunger. As Cole Turner's true body finally gave into death his mind spun off into it's own little dream world. How long it would last before his true afterlife took over was unknown, but for now? For now he had Phoebe back and the girls weren't dead. That was all he care.