An overwhelming sensation came over me making me shoot up to a sitting position almost instantaneously. I grabbed hold of the edge of the bed, attempting to stabilize my now unsteady and light-headed body. Killian was sound asleep beside me but my sudden movements caused him to turn towards me, eyes still shut, and softly grunt, "Are you okay?" he asked in a raspy and almost inaudible tone.

I took a deep breath, trying my hardest to let the nauseating feeling pass, "Yeah, I'm fine, go back to sleep," I answered in a soft voice. Knowing Killian's utterly irresistible need for sleep, I was not surprised when he rolled over away from me as soon as I assured him I was okay.

This feeling had been a constant occurrence every morning for almost two full weeks. I hated keeping such a huge secret from Killian, but I still hadn't found a way to break the news to him, and to be entirely honest, I was more scared of how he was going to react than the actual news itself. My thoughts were only enough to distract my mind and body from the nausea for a few seconds until I was once again paralyzed by the need to puke my brains out. Goose bumps covered the entirety of my body and a cold chill ran up my spine. You need to get to the bathroom. Now.

I sat up at the edge of the bed, yet again attempting to regain my balance before getting up. I had done some research because I didn't feel like dizziness was remotely normal, but had come to the conclusion that everyone's body is different, and had finally stopped tormenting myself over the random spells of vertigo and loss of coordination. I got up on my feet slowly, making sure to not shake the bed too much so Killian wouldn't wake up again, using the night table as support. Once I was sure I wouldn't fall over, I rapidly made my way to the bathroom, thankful that it was only several feet away from our bed. I gently shut the door behind me, ensuring that I turned the lock, before kneeling down over the toilet and letting everything out. Grasping the edge of the toilet so hard my knuckles started to become discolored, I gagged over and over and over again for what felt like an eternity. The more revolting bile I spewed, the louder my gasps for air became, and all that went through my head was how badly I hoped that Killian's heavy sleepiness, which usually annoyed me beyond belief, kept him from waking up. After all, for the past two weeks, I'd been able to easily hide any symptoms from him, as they usually affected me most in the early mornings when Killian was still dead asleep. I took one last big gasp of air and coughed in order to fully clear my throat.

Leaning against the bathtub, I brought my knees up, wrapped my arms around them, and hugged them tight against my chest. I sat there, catching my breath and cursing the stupid nausea for only making my already hard-to-deal-with fatigue worse, for a few minutes until I had enough energy to stand up and clean myself up a little, certifying that I washed every crevice of my mouth until there was no longer a single trace of that repulsive taste of vomit. I stood in front of the mirror and sighed, as I patted my face dry with a washcloth that had been dangling nearby. I took a second to examine my body and my heart sunk to the pit of my stomach immediately.

My breasts were noticeably a whole lot larger and particularly sore to the touch, and my previously flat stomach had now begun to develop a small bulge from how much I was swelling, making it obvious that I wouldn't be able to disguise it as "period bloating" for much longer. Killian would surely notice these changes and the thought of having to tell him sooner rather than later made my heart start pounding so hard I thought it'd beat right out of my chest.

I bent down and opened the cupboard underneath the sink, leaning in and grabbing the small stick from its hidden place inside my box of tampons which was tucked in one of the back corners, the only place I was sure Killian would never find it. The thought of it made my entire body weak, let alone actually looking at it, so I sat on the seat of the toilet for reassurance and looked down at the test, the bright blue plus sign as distinct as ever; my eyes instantly filled with tears.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not right now, anyway..

Trying to swallow back the tight knot that had built up in my throat quickly became a hopeless feat and the feeling became utterly crushing, tears began uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks. I placed my hand softly over my stomach and whimpered faintly.

I want to be happy about this. This is supposed to be good news, a new and happy beginning. Why do I feel so devastatingly terrified? I feel numb. Is this actually happening? The first time I did this, I gave my kid away. I can't raise a child. There's no way I can do this. And what will Killian think? He's going to be so mad. Or is he? I want to tell him. I need to tell him. But what if he reacts exactly like how I expect him to and makes a run for it? I wouldn't blame him. We've been dating for less than two years and this is the biggest life changer. I can't believe this is happening.

My mind was racing a thousand miles per minute, actually causing me to become physically exhausted. My lips trembled, and I simply continued to blankly stare at the white, plastic stick in my hands praying it'd disappear, and hoping this was all one big, distressingly surreal dream. After two weeks of having known exactly what was happening with my body, you'd think it would have sunk in by now, but with every passing day, not only did the entire situation become much harder to wrap my head around, but the more emotional I felt about it. I could suddenly feel anger beginning to ascend from deep inside my chest.

This is something I should be happy about. Why am I being like this? Why haven't I just told Killian? He deserves to know. If he knew, then maybe I wouldn't have to try wrapping my head around it all by myself. He'd help. I hate myself for not being excited about something I'm sure every woman would be over the moon to find out about. What if Killian's reaction is the total opposite of what I'm expecting, and he actually wants this? What if, even then, I'm too scared to go through with it? Then what? I couldn't do that to him.

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a sharp, stabbing pain that started on my lower right abdomen, but quickly took over the entirety of my stomach. I bent over and gasped, the test dropping to the floor, "What the hell?" Panic rushed through my veins, and I was suddenly blindsided by an inexplicable urge to do everything in my power to protect what I had previously been so afraid of – Killian and I's child.

The pain started to become excruciatingly unbearable and I clenched to my stomach for dear life. My vision became blurred and my body felt heavy, as if all of my energy had been sucked out of me within a few seconds, so I used whatever vitality I had left to safely get myself up from the toilet, and slowly struggled to sit on the floor, so if I fainted the impact wouldn't be as severe. A fluid-like substance made its way down both my legs, dripping all the way down to my ankles and staining through my dark gray sweat pants. Blood. In that exact moment, my heart stopped, and the only emotion I could process was pure and utter panic.

I tightened the grasp on my stomach with one hand, trying to soothe the agonizing pain, and using the little strength I had left, I cried out, "Killian!"

My voice was shaky and hardly detectable as I began going in and out of consciousness, "Killian."

"Emma?!" I heard him shout from the other side of the door, frantically shaking the doorknob but it didn't budge so he proceeded to slam his entire body against the door, causing the walls of the bathroom to vibrate in unison. I no longer had any perception of time, and although it was probably only various seconds, it felt like a lifetime had passed before Killian was able to knock the door down. Without a second thought, he dropped to his knees on the floor next to me, picking up my limp body and resting my head on his thighs.

I made an effort to reach out for his hand but was too frail and my arm flopped back onto the floor with a loud thud. Killian's face altered entirely when he noticed the blood and immediately pulled out his phone to call for help.

Terror took over every inch of his body, "Emma, luv, stay with me, okay? C'mon, Swan, talk to me. What happened?" Killian cradled my face in his hand, caressing my cheek with his thumb, trying to keep me awake.

I struggled to maintain a normal breathing rhythm as the pain engulfed every bit of my being, "Killian," I murmured in a weak whisper, "I'm…I'm pregnant. Som—something's wrong."

I noticed Killian's eyes dart to the pregnancy test. His whole body went stiff and the color drained from his face as he stared at it wide-eyed, frozen even in the slightest bit and suddenly, everything went black.