DREINGONA
summary
++ In this world, beyond cruelty and pain, there lives Wanheda, the commander of death. A princess with golden hair, who once fell from the sky and became the queen of sorrow and misery. Love and hate both follow her over the landscapes of Earth on her path as she brings death on the ones she holds dear.
And in this world, beyond cruelty and pain, there lives one who lost her love, who lost her family and who became the death itself, just to end up as the ruler she never wanted to be. The girl hidden under the floor. Octavia kom Skaikru. Octavia kom Trikru. Dreingona…Heda.++
Hey guys, welcome to my first story on this account.
As Lincoln was one of my favourite characters it was hard to accept his death (but wow! Fucking genus plot twist I couldn't believe it at first!) I decided to use it as the start for a plot. He'll NOT be revived in here, the protagonist will be Octavia, as the summary already suggests. The idea was circling in my mind for a while and I wanted to finish it before season 4 starts.
As I've said the plot starts after Lincoln's death and will not follow the season ending at all. Anyway I have to point out everything in here (except the main characters) is mine. The Luna presented in here is also mine since I wrote the first part in the night after the episode so I really had no idea how the happenings around her would develope. That's why I'm so impressed my imagination of her character really fits the real one - except a few details, but you'll see.
However this is going to be very emotional, together with a few depressiv and deeply sorrowful thoughts and experiences concerning Octavia. She'll change a lot since I just couldn't imagine her staying the same after such a thraumatizing event. Personally I like her although I feel like a meany but I'm curious what you think!
It's going to be a two (maybe three) shot probably. I couldn't stop laughing after the season finale. You will understand what I mean, because Clarke kind of did what I had in mind, just in a different way. Very funny. Obviously Jason Rothenberg has similar ideas to mine. I'm highly interested how season 4 turns out, maybe I have similar thought again (which would be veeery creepy - but cool).
But I'll stop babbling now. I hope you enjoy my little creation and leave my a few comments, guys!
- oh and I'm no english native speaker, so I'm sorry for every mistake, which you will find (and you'll definitely find some). If anybody has the time and motivation to look through the text once, I would highly appreciate that and love you forever. Just text me via PM if you have some time left;)
ONE
- Octavia Blake -
The rain was pouring. Its sound was as loud and strong like the inner scream she was unable to let go. Her brother…he was nothing but a bleeding and fucked up man on the ground to her feet. He shouldn't lay down there. This wasn't the brother who had raised her. This wasn't the man who had taken control over one hundred delinquents. This wasn't the man who had followed her to Earth to protect her from harm. This wasn't her brother anymore. This was just an arrogant, weak, miserable and nameless being made of bones and blood, that couldn't possibly be same as hers. Bellamy Blake had stopped being her brother the second his ignorance, intolerance and missing intellect shot a bullet in the head of the man she loved. He didn't pull the trigger but he could have as well done it. It was his fault. All his fault.
She was unable to scream. She was unable to cry. She could just hiss one sentence, that ended everything her life depended one and meant the beginning of everything new at the same second.
"You're dead to me."
And he was. She heard sharp hisses in the cave, felt the confused and shocked looks, as if some had thought nothing could tear the Blake siblings apart. There had been times she would have agreed immediately. But these times were over now.
"O, please." Her hand just shot upwards and though he expected the next blow - she saw it in his eyes - he didn't flinch. She knew he allowed her to kick his ass, which was probably caused by his ill thinking of punishing himself, that made him believe everything would be okay again, if she just let her anger out. Hell, no. This fury would never disappear. It felt like it was burning her from the inside, black flames of hatred and the wish to kill.
She stopped talking to him after this. He came again and again, but she would never listen. She was done listening to excuses and weak explanations. She was done with him, done with everything.
To be honest, she didn't expect him to truly help them. The second Pike's men caught her there was nothing but the irresistible desire to cut her brother's throat who dared to abandon and to betray her again. She didn't expect him to help them but even the second she screamed the announcement in Trigedaslang into the woods, a gun pointed towards his heart, she didn't care. All she wanted was killing Pike and everything else could be done later.
The dictator from the Arc died at that day, but not by her hand. Anyway Bellamy Blake was nothing but a mere corpse anymore, her feelings towards the man, who had once been her brother, were deeply buried in her heart, far beneath the sorrow and the loss of the man, who made her become an individual.
Before him, she had been merely the girl hidden under the floor. But because of him, her dark huntsman who seduced her in the forests and made her fall in love with his person and his way of living, she had become more than that.
She had been Octavia kom Skaikru. For a while she might have been allowed to call herself Octavia kom Trikru.
But now, without him, she was nothing. Her chance of vengeance had been taken away from her by some fucking grounder, she'd never know, who dared to shot an arrow through his murderer's heart before she could step her knife into it. And her hatred simply grew.
"O, where are you going?" His voice was like a bunch of insects in her ears, loud, humming and damn annoying.
She didn't answer at first, but the second he touched her shoulder, she jumped and pointed at him with her knife, which wasn't hers exactly. It had belonged to him. Suddenly, she felt the desire to either cry or kill. But both was impossible at this moment, so she just gave Bellamy a deadly gaze and turned around to continue sorting her few belongings. She was short of supplies, she realized and her muscles tensed because of another wave of anger.
"I leave." She finally said, realizing that he wasn't going to just turn and go away again.
"You can't. Where do you want to go?"
She raised her head, looking into the darkness of the forest they were hiding in. It was creepy, scary and the trees spoke of unknown imminent dangers awaiting everybody who dared to challenge Earth's creatures alone. But to her the darkness was familiar and she desired to kill some two-headed animal. Maybe it would help to cool her nearly uncontrollable rage. She didn't fear the woods anymore. Sure, the animals and even the plants could be deadly. But she could be too.
"Piss off, Bellamy." His figure tensed, hurt was spread all over his face but she didn't give a damn at this moment. His overprotective attitude had always annoyed her, but as it had been a sign how much he cared about her, she had rarely complained. Now, he had no right, since he wasn't her brother anymore.
"Octavia, come on, you…"
"Bellamy, Octavia, there's someone coming!"
Miller's voice echoed between the tree trunks and both siblings reacted the same. Their feet moved further apart, searching for a strong standing, their hands reached for weapons, Octavia for her knife and blade, Bellamy for his gun, which had hung loosely on his shoulder before. Silent breathing, seconds of just listening and preparing.
Then Jasper broke through the woods, the rover nearly hit a tree, before he managed to stop the vehicle. Miller was at their side immediately and behind them the other survivors left the cave, shoulders tense, and expressions blank.
And then she saw the shimmer of golden curls between the leaves and for a tiny moment, she couldn't hold back the wave of relieve, happiness and hope. It broke into peaces the second Clarke Griffin stopped immediately in her tracks at the sight of the group and Octavia recognized she wasn't the sky princess anymore. The privileged girl had been long gone, but now Clarke looked a lot more like a grounder than Octavia had managed before. Her hair was in braids, her face smuggled and full of dirt and she wore clothes, vividly mixed materials, which resembled leather and fur. Out of an unexplainable reason, a smirk grew on Octavia's face, lifeless and without any hint of kindness. She was pissed.
"Clarke." Bellamy breathed beside her and let go of his defensive position. Octavia just snored, tightened her grip around her blade and eyed the blonde girl suspiciously as she came nearer. All eyes were on the two former partners. Striking blue eyes met dark brown ones and Octavia rolled her own expecting the awkwardly emotional reunion that was to come. Well, she was proven wrong.
"You jerk", Clarke hissed deadly, "How could you dare?!"
The moment the woman slapped her former Co-leader directly in the face just to land another blow with the fist of her other hand into his stomach, Octavia burst out in emotionless laughter. She couldn't help herself, the sight of the man who was once her brother, completely in shock, before Clarke punched him in the face a second time. There was an unexpected flow of acceptance towards the other woman Octavia just realized when Miller, looking slightly irritated by the happenings, changed looks with Harper, who just shrugged. Her face was dark, her opinion of Bellamy still not the best.
Clarke, clearly in pain, clutched her own hand, but the satisfied look in her eyes told Bellamy exactly how royally he had screwed up.
"I think you deserved that one." Octavia pointed out, her mood switching back to business, when suddenly Jasper brought an unconscious mechanic with a brown ponytail.
To her surprise, Clarke's eyes moved into her direction, focussing on her face for a moment, before her lips became a thin line. Anyway she seemed to grin to the younger Blake, as if the fury towards Bellamy had brought the two so different women together for a short period of time, where both could forget about what their past had shaped them into. But even this moment of understanding didn't chance the fact Octavia would never trust the healer again. Not after she had followed Lexa like a puppy and had forgotten who her truly people was.
Although, right now, she didn't know who was her people as well.
"Bring her inside." Clarke ordered and ignored the suspicious looks of the others as good as possible. Octavia felt the urge to disappear during the chaos, watching as her former brother gave the golden haired queen of death a look, she never wanted to see. It was a look Bellamy had never been aware of, a look nobody else was either supposed to see or to analyze. And again, there was pain in her heart, treacherous, cruel and wrong. Jealousy swept over her, the little inch of being a little sister she hadn't put behind bars yet and anyway it was as strong as a falling tree.
Bellamy had been through a lot, she knew. She hated him, as he didn't deserve to call himself her brother or her family anymore. But there had been this part in her, which had been sure he'd never leave her, even if she wanted him to. There was no logic behind this emotion, no rational explanation. She was supposed to hate him. He was supposed to be dead to her. Nonetheless she felt the urgent and ridiculous feeling of jealousy for the sky princess, who wasn't even aware of the glare she was given.
She didn't deserve him.
The knight had found his queen again, willingly to serve her without a second though.
Octavia watched silently, as the days passed, she watched Raven being possessed and haunted by this crazy creature, that couldn't be defined and she watched how Bellamy fell back into his position as Co-leader. The punches had been all. A single moment of satisfaction for Clarke's broken heart and a possibility for Bellamy to convince himself he got what he deserved. Luckily he knew he deserved even more than that, but he tried by acting like the man he was once.
And Octavia saw her brother again, the leader of the 100. She saw how he was held in line by Clarke and how he forced her to be the determined woman she had hidden inside her. They brought the peaces back together, the shattered parts of what they had been and it broke Octavia's heart she wasn't the one who could make her brother become the person again he always wanted to be. He was the heart Clarke never used above her mind and she became his mind, so he could control his instincts and rage, which had made him Pike's stupid marionette.
He was the knight. He had always been. On the other hand she was the princess, now a queen. And she would be his death. He wouldn't see it, until it was too late.
Finally, after the night Raven nearly lost her mind, after a night of pain, desperation and blood, she left the provisory hideout they had found near the entrance of what had once been Mount Weather. It was a cave, similar to the one they hid in before, but more in the ground, the entrance but a little hole beneath the fallen leaves. The rover stood not far, lights off, the dark colour nearly invisible in the night.
Octavia's steps were light and soundless. She moved through the forest like she had done nothing else in her life. The tracks of animals crossed her path here and then, but she didn't follow them. The before so painful desire to cut a throat had changed into a dangerous numbness. The muscled in her legs should be screaming from her constant run – she was running for at least two hours now – but there was nothing but a silent humming behind her ears, that made her feel like she had too much booze. How ridiculous.
She stopped when she reached the river she had been heading for. Next to her feet was a cliff with sharp stones awaiting her in the water. She didn't jump, since her body didn't react to the order her mind gave. But she wanted to jump so badly.
Finally she collapsed on her knees, arms lifeless beside her body, her neck bowed behind so she could look into the sky. There were no stars this night. The sky was dark, shadowy and full of clouds, allowing not a single point of light to enlighten her dark inside. Right here and now, at the edge of this cliff, she was unable to jump of, since the memory of a voice telling her to survive didn't allow her to, she wanted to cry. The first time in her life, she desperately wanted to cry, to scream, to suffer. But she couldn't. Everything she left at this secluded place that night was a single, lonely tear, which was nothing compared to the storm inside her heart.
And with this single tear, something else stayed at this place as well. It was a single lily, which shone white on the dark stone, looking awkwardly out of place in this landscape without any flowers or blooming plants. The sign of him, of Lincoln kom Trikru, the man she had loved first in her life and probably the last one she could ever love with such devotion. She left her weak self with him. The girl hidden under the floor would stay hidden in the petals of the flower, before they would fall, fall, like Lincoln had fallen for his people. She had no people anymore. She was just Octavia. There was no kru for her.
Anyway she returned.
When she reached the cave she nearly ran into Miller, who looked utterly shocked.
"Where the hell have you been, Octavia?"
"Needed air." She answered simply and wanted to cross the former guard. But before she could head to the entrance of the cave, she saw another figure rushing towards her. Well, she more heard it, as his steps were so loud. Bellamy stopped about a meter in front of her, not because he wanted but because she held out her blade with an emotionless face, just raising her brows as if wanting to say: Don't you dare to touch me.
His eyes hardened and his fists clenched but he took a step back, accepting she didn't want him near her. Octavia was surprised, about his attitude and her reaction both, since when she looked at him, there was no hatred anymore. To be honest, there were no emotions at all. Bellamy Blake could have been a mere stranger to her at this moment and he knew it. He would never forget the look in her eyes, full of distrust, ignorance and cold indifference, she would make sure of that. But her brother didn't care.
"I'm glad you're okay." He didn't ask her, where she had been. Normally she had wondered about that but now? It didn't matter.
"Where is Clarke?" She asked instead, not explaining her reason. She saw Jasper at the passenger seat of the rover and Miller and his boyfriend Bryan behind him, talking silently in quick sentences, while watching the siblings in front of the car.
"Octavia!" The one she asked for pushed herself out of the cave at the same second Harper entered the Rover. Obviously they were going to depart soon. A good decision. The Ark's people were probably still following them, acting as they were told by the insane being ALIE as Raven had explained to them.
"Octavia where have you been?" Clarke asked and Octavia nearly snorted at the blame in her voice. When she crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest, the sky princess seemed to realize she wasn't getting an answer and just sighed silently. What a smart girl she could be if she wanted.
"I have to ask you something. Do you…"
"It can wait, can't it?" Octavia interrupted, enjoying the confused and annoyed look that crossed the other woman's face. "You know we are followed. It's not safe to stay at one place to long until we know Ravens' mindless freaky friends aren't following us anymore."
"I heard that, Blake." Raven hissed out of the car. Ignoring Clarke and Bellamy, Octavia jogged towards the rover and jumped inside.
"Can't blame me for it, can you?" She stated a bit ironic, placing herself in the corner of the vehicle, arms and legs crossed. "You were pretty creepy, Reyes." The mechanic made a frustrated face, obviously not happy with what had happened.
"Stop that Octavia, you know it's not her fault." Bellamy said as he entered the rover, followed by Clarke, who closed the door with a dark look in her eyes. When she placed herself between Bellamy and Miller, the rover was so full of people, all their legs touched. Octavia flinched when the motor roared once. Raven was half asleep already, her injuries so heavy it was hard for her to stay awake for more than an hour so far.
"I know it isn't." She shot back, glancing at Clarke, who didn't take off her eyes for a second. She was getting tired of this, so she asked: "Come on, tell me what your damn problem is."
And Clarke didn't hesitate a second. "I have to know if Lincoln told you something about a woman named Luna."
Pain, deep, sharp and pure cut her heart and for a second she couldn't breath. So she gulped, trying to count the cuts on the wall behind Clarke's head, before she was able to speak again. Bellamy's face screamed of worry, but he should go to hell with it.
"Octavia, did he tell you something?" Ah, this would explain the worry of the blonde. Funny
how Octavia had thought there could be something about her, but what should she expect of the princess. If she was determined to reach a goal, she'd go over dead bodies. Not on purpose of course she would say, but it was kind of strange how easy others came to die, if the princess of the 100 decided to do something serious. They had called her mother. She wasn't a good one if it came to dying children.
Wanheda. Definitely.
"I don't know somebody named Luna." She answered with lack of emotion and watched interested how Clarke's whole body seemed to lose its strength. As her shoulders touched Bellamy's, he realized of course and the look he gave her was a mixture of pity and attention.
"Who is she?" Obviously Miller wanted to be a part of the conversation. Instead of answering, Clarke took out the little chip, she had used to distract the ALIE being and the group stared at the thing with open suspicion.
"What's this anyway?" Bellamy asked with a luring tone hidden in his words, "You said it was Lexa? How is that possible? Lexa's dead."
It was extremely interesting that now, where no familiar bonds connected her to this man, how easy it was to read his expressions and actions. And suddenly Octavia had to hold back an amused snort, since it was nearly funny, how mischievous Bellamy could be, especially without knowing it. The tiny flinch of jealousy in his voice at the mentioning of the former Commander of the grounders, the unintentional hint that Clarke's …lover?...was for ever gone. Although he didn't do it on purpose…she was surprised what a jerk this man could be.
"This is what the grounders call the flame." Clarke began to explain a bit breathlessly and her hand clenched around the little object, before she put it back in her pocket, protecting it from the outside, "The spirit of every former commander is in there so it can be given to the next Heda, when the former dies." And suddenly Octavia remembered.
"Only the ones who are chosen by the nightblood can bear the pain of inheriting the former commanders." She burst out, eyes focussed on a point before the tips of her boots. The rover was shaking and everybody, even Monty who was watching her from the driver seat through the front mirror, was staring at her. Without caring about them, Octavia just kept talking, remembering what Lincoln had told her once, still feeling his warm big hands touching her back gently, as he held her in his arms, when he told her about the way his leader was chosen.
"Their blood is black, thicker than others and as soon as one finds out, he or she has to join the league of the nightblood, to fight eventually when their Heda dies. Only the winner of this fight can be the new leader, if able to get rid of all the other children."
"Get rid of?" Jasper interrupted from the front. "They are only children. Are you telling me they are supposed to massacre their classmates?"
"Exacly." Clarke stated, eyes worried on Octavia, who had started shaking. The only hint was the little movement in her shoulders, since her face was blank as always, not letting any emotion come to the surface. But the memory had hit her hard, so she didn't complain Clarke for continuing.
"So this belongs to the one who will be the nextcommander." Harper said thoughtfully, eyes still on Raven if she should be in pain. "Why do you have it anyway?" For a moment, there was silence. Then: "The nightbloods are all dead. The one who was actually the favourite assured me peace, peace between the Skykru and the other clans. He's dead now, as the others. Lexa has raised them so they would have protected us all. But now Ontari, a member of Azgeda the Ice Nation, has claimed the throne."
"She can not." Octavia murmured, eyes closed and head laced back at the wall of the car. It hurt because of the constant movement, but it helped to concentrate on her surroundings instead of her memories full of joy and silent trust. "She has to possess the flame or nobody will accept her. What's the point in it then?"
"Nobody knows she hasn't it. She is cruel and deadly. Everybody who stands against Ontari loses his head and the ambassadors know that now. Her arise has been announced and until there is somebody to challenge her right, she will stay the Heda. The alliance will break under her and there will be war again."
"Let them." Jasper said surprisingly, eyes fixed on the road, his jaw tensed, "Let them all slaughter themselves. Deserves them right."
Octavia wanted to slap his head for the stupid comment. "Think, Jasper." She simply said, and as if there was a silent understanding Clarke continued, "The first thing they will do is eliminate a similar foe. Us. Skykru." Octavia was close telling them she didn't belong to this people anymore, but she knew better.
Silence filled the car as the power of imagination did the rest to silence Jasper completely. He kept his look straight forward, mirroring Monty who had problems to manoeuvre the unhandy vehicle in the woods. Octavia saw lashes of green and black flew past the front window and pulled her knees to her chest, a knife in her hand.
"So what do we do then?" Miller asked seriously, hands folded and elbows on his knees.
"Assassinate this Ontari?" Octavia hissed, "Just another megalomaniac dictator. Hey, Bellamy, sure you don't want to change sides again? I'm sure she's prettier than Pike by the way." She had expected a big reaction, anger, maybe a few screams, but there was nothing but silent pain, which changed into nothing but quiet regret, when Clarke's hand landed on his arm. Octavia wanted to cut it off.
"No." He simply said and she gritted her teeth. The constant up and down between hatred, pain and feeling lost was exhausting and pulled at her like a deadly stream she couldn't run away from.
"Assassination alone wouldn't work." Clarke continued as if nothing had happened and Octavia followed her hand with burning eyes as it wandered deeper without being recognized by anybody but her. Pitiful. Both of them.
"Ontari is guarded heavily in Polis and besides she is highly dangerous herself. Even if we succeeded in killing her, there has to be someone to replace her or the grounder's society will fall into ruins. All nightbloods are dead. Expect one."
Bellamy frowned, ignoring Octavia completely. "This Luna you mentioned."
"Yes. Titus, the former flame keeper, told me about her. And Lincoln was supposed to know where she was." Her head turned to Octavia again and she wanted to leave. Now she regretted she had returned. There was nothing here for her but painful memories.
"I don't know anything." She said emotionless, watching her fingers as she entwined them, "I've never heard about the name before."
"So what do we do now?" Miller looked around, his brown eyes asking for advice from Bellamy or Clarke. Best would be both, because past had proven, none of them deciding alone was a good thing. While the blond princess looked lost, Bellamy looked pissed. Best combination.
Octavia should just leave. So she spent the rest of the drive with thinking about what she was going to do after she left the group. As it seemed there was a war coming by and she had no motivation to be a part of it at all. Octavia was not good at following orders she had learnt that so far. She was stubborn, and latched for independence since the second her feet had touched Earth first.
So where should she go? The North was no option. Azgeda was no friend of intruders, especially not sky people, who might dare to conquer their land as well. In the South, there was Polis, the capital of the damn grounders she once thought she could belong to. The West or the East it was now…Lincoln had mentioned the East once. A clan who was friends with Trikru. A Clan who would protect her if she went with him. Oh, how she wished, she would have gone with him that day. There was nothing left for her, the people she wanted to protect had turned into brainless puppets on the string or brought nothing but bad decisions and pain over the ones near them.
"Octavia?" The sudden question surprised her, Clarke's expression was aware of something Octavia didn't realize herself, "What's about the East?" She said that out loud?
Come with me, Octavia. There's a clan in the East, near the sea, who is friends with Trikru. I know their leader, she will help us.
If there was something for her in the East it would be there. A memory of Lincoln. A memory of what they could have become. He would never return to her. Because of Pike. Because of Bellamy. Because of Clarke. Because of the damn Ark. Because of what the grounders made them do. There were so many people to hate and too less knifes to kill them all.
Luna's a good person she'll allow us to stay.
She felt something break inside her. Later she herself would describe it as her humanity, but it wasn't that. It was nothing that could be put into words therefore it was too much and to little at the same time. What she felt right now was similar to what she felt at the cliff. She broke a second time. Her heart, her existence fell into peaces and unlike for Bellamy and Clarke, there was nobody left to put it back together. So she had to become a being, which could live with a shattered heart. She would find out it was easier than expected.
"Luna's in the East. Don't slow down Monty. We're heading towards the sea."
It took them about three weeks to go there and the journey alone was more than Octavia could handle at this moment. She had forced them to stop near a little grounder village she knew, threatening she would go immediately if she had to stay in this damn little rover for another minute. Finally Clarke had agreed and it pissed her off again how everybody just started to follower her orders again, like nothing had changed. Did nobody see how deadly this woman was?
Octavia was honest to herself but it was better not to be honest to the others. If there was the tiniest hint Clarke's actions would kill even one of them, she would take her blade and cut her throat single handed, no matter how many longing looks Bellamy would give. He wasn't her brother anymore and this woman was death on legs. She would not risk being killed because of some reckless heroic try to save a people, Octavia had only suffered from.
She couldn't decide if it was ridiculous or disgusting how fast Bellamy and Clarke grew back together as if there had never been either Lexa or Pike or his betrayal. Although Clarke had kind of betrayed him before, that was complicated stuff, she wasn't interested in at all.
Anyway it took but about one week till it seemed as they had never been separated after leading the 100. And everybody, of course, loved to follow any order they gave. But not Octavia. She was done following orders, especially from these two people.
She took one of the three guns they had – Bellamy and Miller had been furious, when she came back - and traded it at the village. The horse she got in return was not the youngest anymore, his fur grey and the animal in general not well taken care of, but it was fast and strong anyway and she felt a lot better to follow the rover on horseback instead of being trapped with inside with the others.
The landscape changed with everyday they moved until the woods became lighter and the smell of salt filled the air. The plants in general became smaller, the lands flatter and soon there was nothing but small hills and huge plateaus of grass and fields. Cultivated fields.
This was the point, when the rover wasn't of use anymore and Octavia was grateful for it. They had no gas left and so the group was forced to go on foot. Raven had to stay back in her condition, which only improved very slowly, accompanied by Harper, Miller and his boyfriend to take care nobody was attacking them. Clarke wanted to stay of course, the self made healer she was, but it took nothing but a decisive look from Bellamy and an annoyed eye roll from Octavia, before she let them stay back.
Eventually it was just Monty, Jasper, Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia and although she felt a tiny spike of nostalgia, she was more annoyed than anything else. Unlike Clarke she had no intention of saving the Ark - or even reviving Lexa or some bullshit, God knows what the woman was planning - she was simply following and helping them to have a reason to keep going. Octavia was not stupid. She didn't jump at the cliff but she wasn't so sure if she would to the same of there was another chance. Her body and mind were tired. Pain was eating her up and the lack of a reason to life was horrible. Before, she had always tried to live. Now she was just surviving. And her being alive and her just surviving were very different beings.
Octavia started to enjoy her decision to trade a horse even more and satisfaction was filling her every time she watched the plateaus, knowing she would be the only one not completely exhausted after this trip. The landscape felt eternal, as if there was no end to the hills of green surrounding them. The Octavia who had come to the ground would have loved this place. The Octavia she was now could merely smile falsely about the beauty this place possessed. In the end there would be some creature who tried to kill them anyway, she had no doubts.
It was warmer than where they came from, but the constant breeze bringing the smell of watery salt told them they were at least not completely wrong. They talked few. Actually, Octavia didn't talk at all, but Jasper sometimes tried to make the others start a conversation. He failed royally and beside Clarke and Bellamy doing some leader-talk there was no chat that lasted longer than a few minutes. Octavia tried not to watch the two together, which was easy, since she lead the group with the horse. The situation was pretty ironic, since she didn't know herself were she was going. She didn't give a damn. If they didn't find a village, well she would be the last one starving that was for sure. Even if she didn't know the terrain, she'd be better at getting used to it than the others.
But out of a reason she couldn't tell, it took them just four days on foot, before they eventually reached the coast. Any trees had vanished instead there were huge bushes, sand and even more sand. A short pain. Ignore it.
She expected the attack. Obviously the others didn't and sometimes she wondered if she was the only one who ever tried to understand how grounder policy worked. They had invaded other's territory. Consequently there were attacked.
"Don't fight back!" She barked, when Jasper was going to raise his gun with shaking hands. Although her horse tripled uncomfortable from one leg to the other Octavia stayed calm, arms held up high, showing them she meant no harm. Surprisingly she didn't care when an arrow hit the place her hors had stood just seconds before. It was funny. She should worry about seeing it that way. But she didn't give a fuck. Honestly, there was worse than death. There was.
"Damn it put the gun down!" Obviously Bellamy was wishing to die. She wouldn't stop him, but she didn't want a knife in her head herself. So she reached to her left and pushed the gun to the ground, ignoring Bellamy's deadly gaze and his tense shoulders. But before she could move, somebody rudely forced her down the horse and she crashed painfully in the mud. Bellamy growled, but the knife at his throat forced him to keep standing, hands finally raised, after they ripped the weapon out of his hands. He was obviously pissed.
And Octavia was too. Anyway, she brought herself back to feet, just to be put in a headlock a moment later. The scent of salty water and dried blood made her screw up her face.
"We mean you no harm!" Clarke shouted from a position, Octavia couldn't see, since all she could see was the ground and the boots of the Grounder-man, who had captured her.
They didn't seem to believe her, though it was a step forward no one was dead yet. She hoped, couldn't see Bellamy and the guys out of her position, though. Surprisingly, Octavia did make no move. She could hear the others struggling and morning, so she shouted again "Don't fight back you idiots!"
Although her neck protested painfully, she managed to turn in the grounders strong arms, discovering Monty and Jasper both face forward in the mud and Clarke on her knees, usually pretty blond hair totally messed up with mud and dust and she had to smirk mirthlessly. Poor princess, her knight was screwing up. A look to the left and she felt vindicated, when she saw Bellamy's body figure being pushed to the ground.
Silence grew over the groups. The Grounders hadn't spoken yet, but Octavia heard little whispers coming from the right, so she peered to the direction, which was everything she could do at the moment. The man had twisted her arms on her back and held her easily with only one big hand at her wrists and one at her back of the head, forcing her to look down. Anyway she caught a glimpse of two Grounders looking at them with burning rage in their eyes. Both were wearing typical clothes, made of fur and leather, but it looked lighter than what she was used to from the woods.
Finally, after another minute of silent staring, both, a man and a woman, neared alertly. Octavia realized just know Clarke hadn't started peace talk because she had a gag in her mouth. And it was the second the woman with long brown braids and strikingly green eyes, who spoke first.
"We don't want intruders. This is our land. You've invaded it purposely."
The woman caught Octavia's eyes and looked at her with a mixture of disgust and annoyance. Clarke made attempts to talk but the Grounder woman who held her only slapped her once. And of course her stupid, impulsive and totally in love former big brother exploded in rage and jumped to his feet. One hit and a Grounder fell, another hit and the woman behind Clarke let hear a painful scream, when he tackled her to the side. He needed less than two seconds to seconds to grip the fallen knife and press it to the woman's throat, anger and fury in his dark eyes, while his whole figure meant to hide the blonde princess from looks.
There would have been a time, when Octavia would have laughed about this sight. Now she was simply pissed, because he probably destroyed the slightest chance they might listen to them. As if to prove her thoughts, the man and the woman, both an awkward mirror of Clarke and Bellamy in a way, looked at each other for a second, silent understanding in their eyes, before the woman snapped into the direction of Octavia's keeper.
"Put down the fucking knife, Bellamy!"
"Frag em op." Kill her.
The moment she used to survive was tiny but experience and adrenalin made it possibly to slip out of the Grounders grip the second he had to let go one hand to take his blade. She smashed her had backwards, felt and heard the surprised groan, before she jumped to the side. The mud was wet and slickly and so she slipped more than anything else. While angry shouts echoed over the clearing, she did the only reasonable thing, which would on the on hand help her to survive and which would on the other hand, be the only possibility to stop the Grounders from slipping Monty's and Jasper's throats:
She knocked Bellamy hard upside the head, ripped the knife out of his hands, pushed him away from the Grounder-woman and threw the weapon to the ground.
Everybody was staring at her. Blood already ran down Monty's neck and the boy was unconscious. Jasper stared at her with blank panic and she spun around, hands raised to underline her words.
"Osir laik no baga!" Wir sind kein Feind. „We only search for safe passage!"
"Why should we allow you to pass and not kill you right away?" The woman hissed. Her grip around her blade was so tight her skin shimmered white, her eyes a single burning flame, "You just attacked my people. Cut their throats!"
"No!" Octavia yelled and miraculously, nobody moved. So she tightened her shoulders and made her face blank. No concern, no fear, she simply didn't feel it. But letting them kill the others would be unnecessary and unwise. She needed them. Or something like that.
"Ai laik Octavia…" She hesitated, pain blooming in her chest, "Kom Trikru…Lincoln has sent me. I have to speak to Luna. Bring us to her." It hurt so much. It hurt so damn much to even say his name out loud. The name only ripped up her chest and frapped the knot in her heart still tighter. She had to remind herself how to breath properly and suddenly, the tears were waiting dangerously behind her lashes.
The very second she ended her sentence the air was pregnant with emotions. Nobody dared to move, until the man with the same striking green eyes, stepped forward, focusing her with a look full of distrust and curiosity. His figure was tall, his body full of muscles and scars. A warrior.
"Why do you demand to speak with her? How do you know Lincoln?" He asked voice dark and careful, when she winced at his name. Octavia discovered a light scar from his under lip to his chin.
"I will only answer to Luna." She hissed, still angry. Neither Clarke nor Bellamy helped her mood, since both got ready to intermeddle.
"Shut up, if you want to live. You'll only make it worse!"
"We will bring you to her."
Octavia blinked, confused and surprised, since she had expected else. But the man with dirty blond her still looked at her, scanning her small figure with a look she didn't like. She felt like she was under observation and she hated it.
"Aron!" The woman let out shocked and obviously not pleased with his decision, "We can't just…"
"I decide what we can and what we can't. Blindfold them."
He told his men after that and ignored the growing rage of the woman, who looked like she rather wanted to kill them all. It was instinct only, but Octavia expected future problems with the woman. Big problems.
"Oliver, take the leader."
Of course Octavia wasn't happy about the developments but at least nobody died today (yet) so she raised her chin and prepared for the rude treatment she was surely going to receive. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the woman, who had been threatened by Bellamy, coming back to her feet. It was probably out of a whim, but she gripped Clarke harshly at her hair and forced the whimpering woman on her feet, while another Grounder pulled a furious Bellamy away. This time, luckily, he didn't fight back, but probably just because they instantly fixated his hands on his back and put a blindfold over his eyes and a gag in his mouth, before a punch in his gut knocked him nearly from his feet. Octavia watched silently how they took Jasper and Monty and again, she was surprised how less she cared…
Then somebody gripped her thin wrist, forced her to turn and she hold back a dangerous hiss. She was still not pleased with being chained.
But then she knew her knees couldn't take her weight anymore.
Octavia slumped to the ground, her arm still in the Grounders grip. Tears burned in the corner of her eyes, her heard was running and pumping painfully in confusion and sorrow the second she laid her eyes on the man who was supposed to fetter her.
She noticed only marginally they had mistaken her for the group's leader. She didn't care.
She heard Bellamy's anxious "O!" the second he saw her figure collapsing. She didn't care.
Octavia realized the man's unreadable expression, not sure if it was mistrust or indifference she saw dripping out of the dark eyes, which she knew so well. They were like an exact copy of his eyes, dark, warm, full of mystery, endless. And she knew how much love and emotion they could bear and it pulled the rug out under her feet. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream.
But all Octavia Blake could do was watching the Grounder contorted with pain. He didn't talk. He only pulled her hands in front of her body and chained them with a rough robe, his fingers delicate yet scarred from years of hunting and surviving. It was a nightmare. He was a walking nightmare to her, because he had the same eyes, yeah, even the damn same skin colour. Still he wasn't hers.
"Oliver, hos op."
If he saw how much she was suffered, he didn't show it. If he understood through how many hells his looks sent her, he didn't show. But the second he pulled her up again, his movements and his hands were gentle and it hurt even more.
"No." She whispered and forced herself to say out loud reality though it made her heart shatter once more, "He's dead. He's dead…" She repeated it again and again, so silent nobody should be able to understand her. But these eyes, which were normally unreadable to the world…she knew them by heart and so she saw them soften. His look was gentle and apologizing before it became harder and serious. The blindfold covered her eyes a second later. Hands touched her arms but she didn't shake them off, partly because her muscles felt numb.
They started to move and the Grounder stayed next to her, guiding her. She could tell it was him by his hands and his smell, which had changed from see water and blood to see water and tangy sweetness. Finally Octavia allowed herself a single lonely tear, well hidden behind the blindfold and her oily hair. She must have looked like a complete mess and she didn't give a damn.
"I don't know who I resemble, but I'm not him."
She winced slightly when warm breath tickled at her neck, proving he must have moved closer to whisper the few words. She couldn't say if she felt more pain or a little peace of acknowledgement. Finally she brought as much distance between them as she could without the risk to stumble, because she couldn't stand his proximity anymore. It felt so common and yet so strange it destroyed her already crushed heart peace by peace. The ground had changed under her feet. There was no sand anymore yet it wasn't like a wood either.
I'm not him. Hell she knew.
She kept the distance. But after a few more steps and silent walking, she answered in a tone that left no questions: "I'm aware, doesn't make it better though."
"You brought Wanheda to my realm. You brought the one who brings nothing but death to men and yet you expect me to help you?"
Luna was many things but not what Octavia had expected her to be.
They had been brought to what resembled the hut of the commander Lexa had used to see her visitors. Octavia had no idea were the building was. When the blindfold had been removed the first thing she'd seen was Luna in her armchair and the two Grounders, Aron and the woman behind her, like Indra used to do. She felt the others beside her. They had been forced to kneel down, but Clarke and Bellamy had been freed from the gags and Monty had recovered consciousness. Jasper on his left was pale like a ghost and under her blond hair Clarke looked pretty unhealthy as well. Bellamy had instinctively moved to her side and flanked her like he always had. Octavia couldn't hold back a snort, when Clarke began to talk:
"Luna, you have to help us! We…"
"Silence, Wanheda! I don't want you here. You can be lucky if my men don't push you down the cliff to make sure your curse doesn't hit our people." There was no question Luna was in charge here and she wasn't pleased with her visitors.
Octavia turned her head, smirking unhappily. "See, your reputation precedes you, Clarke."
"Octavia!" A shocked Jasper hissed but she just shrugged. "What? It's true."
"Stop it!" Luna commanded and turned to Octavia with a dangerous calamity.
"You. My men told me you are the leader?"
"Am I?" Octavia only answered dryly and was slapped only an instant later by the woman with spiky black hair, Bellamy had threatened.
"Don't dare to speak to her like that!"
"Ilya! Stop it!" Luna bellowed now and the woman retreated unwillingly and Octavia decided it would be better to answer properly.
"No I'm not the leader. There is no real leader in this group."
"We are Skikru…" Clarke started again and was interrupted by Aron, "We know, Wanheda. Tell us your names." He addressed the boys and they did hesitantly. Luna just nodded and her blue eyes wandered back to Octavia once again. There was something deep in her gaze, something that made Octavia feel alert, because it stood so much in contrast with the whole person Luna was.
"What do you want?" The marked woman asked calmly.
All they said had to be chosen wisely now, Octavia knew. Luckily, Clarke might be deadly, but she wasn't stupid most of the time.
"I have been in Polis. Lexa, the commander is death and Ontari has claimed the throne." She made a pause, watching Luna's reaction. Her mouth became a thin line, but she only said thoughtfully, "I know Lexa is death. Continue."
Octavia allowed herself to take a deep breath once while Clarke explained the situation. Meanwhile, her eyes moved without control and found him immediately. He answered her look without the slightest hint of hesitation, with something that looked like curiosity behind his unique eyes.
He stood far from her now, hands behind his back like the soldiers on the Arc used to do and his face emotionless. Her pain had dwindled little, when she had discovered at the second look, his resemblance with him wasn't as much as she though first. Anyway it was still far too much. His body shape was similar, shoulders broad and muscular. His skin was dark and the part of his left arm she could see showed a burn, he had never had. He had long legs and a self-confident aura, which hurt her to see.
His face on the other hand was definitely different. Handsome nonetheless with slender lips, high cheekbones and a nose a bit more broadly defined than his. But the eyes were the fucking same and it was hard to take her eyes away, when she had too.
"So Ontari from Azgeda has never taken the flame?" Luna said, "Where is it now? Were is Titus?"
Instead of a verbal answer, Clarke raised her chained hands a bit. "Free me first. Only me, if you want." She added after she saw Luna's face harden. A few seconds later the woman with the stunning red hair made a sign to Ilya and Clarke was cut free from her fetters.
Carefully she took out the little tin, moved the lid and showed the AI. Everybody in the cabin stared at the item and eventually Aron said unbelievingly, "This is supposed to be the flame?"
"Yes. Titus is…probably dead. He made me the flame keeper to bring this to you." Luna looked at her in disbelief.
"I know Titus. He'd never give something as important as the flame to a Skykru member."
"He had no other choice." Clarke said only and tightened her grip around the flame, before she stood up carefully. Everybody tensed but nobody moved, when the sky princess took some hesitant steps towards the red haired woman.
Octavia only watched. She had always done, when the co-leaders had handled the job and like always, she only hoped they wouldn't screw it up. Luna wasn't what they had expected. Not at all.
There had been hot discussions back at the rover how the lost nightblood would be like. Aggressive and uncontrollable like Ontari? A bit like Lexa? Of course Bellamy hadn't looked pleased at this though, but to his luck, the woman in front of them had nothing in common with Lexa, except her power to make people listen to her.
Luna was ill. It was the first thing Octavia had seen and the longer she looked, the more obvious the fact became. She was dangerously pale, her face, which might have once been strikingly beautiful was sunken and full of red and blue spots. She was all skin and bones and though her spirit bristled with mental strength, her body was loosing a long fight.
Octavia saw it and she also saw this woman would never be able to lead the upcoming war. She was close to death. That was also a reason why Octavia didn't care about the conversation. There was no help. Their last hope had vanished the second everybody understood Luna wasn't made for the task.
Even Clark had realized. Yet she fought against the thought and allowed Luna to take the AI in her fragile, powerless hands, she had hidden in gloves. Her complete body was wrapped in thick furs and fabrics, whereas the air in the cabin was so hot Octavia had started to sweat.
"What has Titus told you about me?" Luna suddenly asked with a voice that touched even Octavia's nearly frozen inner.
"That you fled from the Conclave because you were a coward." Clarke stated silently, since she already saw the truth.
"Of course he would." The redhead smiled dryly and then returned the AI with a quick move.
"I cannot help you."
The sentence the Sky people never wished to hear. Luna didn't name the reason, but it was obvious.
Anyway she continued: "We are neutral. We don't belong to the clans and wish not to become part of the fighting. I will not force you to go, but if you decide to stay to rest, we will take your weapons until you leave." To everybody's surprise Clarke simply nodded. Octavia saw why and she didn't want to see her brothers gaze, when the blond bowed her head once in front of Luna.
"We appreciate that you let us stay for a while. We will take that offer." Now Luna nodded in response.
"Kasha will show you your quarters." The woman to her left with the green eyes showed them her teeth and not in a friendly way but she didn't complain.
"You will not leave as long as I am not informed and the second you become trouble our hospitality will become nonexistent. Do you understand?"
The group on the ground nodded, some less content than others. Octavia stayed silent. She stayed silent when Kasha made a hand sign and she was lifted to her feet. She stayed silent when she was cut free from her fettles and she stayed silent when she saw Oliver coming near, although his whole presence ripped her heart open.
"Octavia kom Skikru, wait."
The sound of her boots echoed from the walls, as she turned and faced the nightblood, waiting for the question.
"You said Lincoln send you. As he's a good friend of mine, I mean you no harm. Why is he not with you?"
Octavia had waited for the question since she'd been brought here but to face it now showed her again she had no control over the intense pain, which claimed her body now. Her tongue didn't move. She couldn't say it, like she'd said it to herself before. Say it again would make the cruel reality even more painful to bear.
A shadow creaked over Luna's face. "I see." She said with true sorrow and closed her eyes ones. "His fight was over."
"It isn't. I continue." The smile she received to this was real, but she couldn't make herself answer it with the same friendly gesture. Instead she watched how a cough messed with her body.
"How long?" was all Octavia asked. The look Luna gave her now was similar to a mirthless smirk, tired and cool. "To soon."
And as if destiny wanted to prove his cruel decision, her weak body suddenly convulsed and she doubled over. Her movement was accompanied by shocked shouts from Aron and Kasha and an unsettling amount of blood she coughed up. Clarke stopped in her tracks and wanted to rush back, but Oliver hindered her.
"I could help her!" Clarke argued but she was pushed outside the Cabin only a few seconds later. There is no help.
Octavia forced herself not to look and the dark skinned Grounder, but a short look from Bellamy and she knew he had realized. Eyes full of concern and pity, the older Blake tried to touch her shoulder, but she jumped back hissing; "Don't touch me!" Bellamy winced as if she slapped him.