She had told him to go away. I mean she didn't really MEAN it. She didn't intend for it all to turn out so sideways, but sometimes she wondered if it was for the better…
He was an idiot. She had always told herself that, and others too. Anyone who asked about him really, ''Him? No, he's an idiot I wouldn't trust him to hold a cup''. But now that was only lies. Maybe they had always been lies, she can't fully think of a time where her whole being said anything negative about him. Other than his use of women all over Seattle. But besides that had he ever really done anything to her, in fact the more she thought about it, it was all about him constantly doing things for her and how did she repay him? By constantly dragging on him and telling him he wasn't good enough. But he was a big boy…he could handle himself. More lies.
It was just another day being back, work, bonding with OC, getting yelled at by Normal and protecting Joshua from the ordinaries who feared them ever since she broadcast Eyes Only's cast about Manticore and was the single handed reason for all this mess. Maybe what he was doing was a good thing. Killing other transgenic's was NOT a good thing, how could she think that. Although it was just a few less people to round up, a few less to control, a few less causing havoc. That was just plain sick. Defending his actions like what he was doing was some sort of fucked up godsend. She couldn't believe how her day had turned out. Spending her day saving his ass instead of living free, the thing she internally begged for all those months back at Manticore. Instead of getting the cure. She internally voiced as the doctor pulled the micro explosive out of his head and when it was removed and had gone off she had sighed happily that he hadn't died. He was still there with her, and she couldn't place why she felt overjoyed when she wasn't splattered with his brains. Chalking it up to nothing and convincing herself she would feel the same about anyone who was currently in her life whether they were invited or weaselled their way in and made home. Lies, so many lies.
It made her angry. Why couldn't she make up her mind about him? It made her angry having no control over her emotions, lack of control was something that had been stripped of her years ago and then again by the same people. Dictating her and who she should be. She couldn't even do that with herself. When he tried to speak she cut him off, angry that he made her feel so small and insecure. She rambled on about how he ruined her life, how that was the last chance for her and Logan. And then she had said it.
''Just do me a favour, and go away. I can't even look at you right now''. And she half scoffed and half sighed and turned her back to him. Joshua emitted a low growl telling him to do what she says and leave. He turned back and barely made eye contact.
''I'm sorry Max. For everything''. And then he left.
Days had gone and she felt odd. Something was missing. She felt like her world was shifted. Like she had more spare time on her hands, she caught herself looking around, eyes darting across the areas of Jam Pony, Crash and sometimes even the low levels of TC. He was nowhere to be seen. Externally she was joyed, the pain in her ass finally dissipated and she could focus on her. Internally she screamed, she kicked herself and sometimes went wondering around Seattle, subconsciously looking for him. But there was nothing. No bike. No leather jacket. No annoying smirk and witting or sexual comeback. It was empty. SHE was empty. No no no no, she couldn't. She was meant to feel empty without Logan. She was meant to feel empty without Joshua or Sketchy; hell even White not being around would on some level make her feel incomplete. It was more than that, she didn't just feel incomplete, it was like there was something deep rooted in her that was wearing thin, a silver cord tightly wrapping itself up inside herself. It was all him.
More days had passed and eventually those days turned into weeks and now it was a month. Today was that day. She pretended not to care or even acknowledge the lack of his existence except Joshua had brought him up during her lunch visit.
''Where is medium fella''? He asked. She just shrugged but in her head that question had been swirling around since he was gone all those weeks ago.
''I don't know big fella, maybe he just didn't wanna be here anymore''. It sounded good out loud and Joshua nodded his head in response indicating that yes, that it was happened. But she knew. Of course she did. It was so ever – present she was surprised no one had asked her all this time. Lies.
He has to be here somewhere. He couldn't have just left the sector cops would have cornered him by now. He's not that sneaky. He also had no money, it's not like he could just go to Canada with empty pockets. Or maybe he could. He could sleep his way through any country around the world probably. That thought sickened her. It wasn't because she was upset that whoever was laying next to him wasn't her, she hadn't sorted through those level of feelings yet, she was only scratching the surface. She had to stop thinking of him like that. 3 months later and he was nowhere. The emptiness still itching her skin like she was going through drug withdrawals. She hated feeling so lost. She gave up subconsciously looking for him and spent any free waking moment she had searching high and low, far and wide, clean and down right rotten parts of Seattle for his cocky grin and the smell of soap. She had almost given up. The seconds were wearing thin just like that bomb in his head… She was searching in TC that night in the darkest parts wondering through an old apartment complex that on first glance, just looked like a dump of bricks. But some parts of the building were left standing and there were many apartments still there – vacant – but there. The sound of soft classical music played through the half sturdy hallway on of the floors, 4th if she had to guess. It got quieter and quieter and then eventually it stopped for a few seconds before a thud echoed out and a rattle of different notes from a piano. Someone or something was here. And her being her could never just let something be. Jogging the last few steps to the door of the apartment that the sound lead to she turned the door handle timidly afraid that maybe it was a fellow Manticore mutant that would attack. But it wasn't. Anything but that. It was him.
Slumped over on the floor, the piano untouched on the other side of the room, the TV channelling an old film she had never seen before where someone was murdered over a piano. That's the sound she heard. The TV. Thank god, he was probably just sleeping or maybe just blocking out the world. She rushed forward but stopped herself, she couldn't be eager; he'd hang shit on her for it as long as she lived. Stalking towards is body she stopped near his feet, lightly kicking him a few times, prodding to wake him from whatever slumber state he was in. There was nothing more response. Coming around to see his face and body she nearly died next to him. His face was pale, a weird contrast to his usually tan skin. He was basically transparent and when she touched him he was cold. His chest wasn't rising and falling steadily, if at all. And that's when the silver cord unravelled itself and she came undone. No more lies Max. Lies get Alec killed.