This is dedicated to Jay with the message that things always work out as they should.
Lifting One's Spirit
"Hey, Cloud?"
Sora's voice was soft and there was an unusual hesitation to it. Cloud glanced over without turning his head to find Sora watching him with large, concerned eyes. The brunet had arrived nearly a week prior and had been staying with Cloud since.
Though Cloud was not the type to admit to it, he was glad for the teen's presence. The house had been too quiet, too empty. Now, while the emptiness was still there, there was again energy and life to the place.
Riku had been gone for nearly a month now.
In all honestly, Cloud had no idea how he had gotten through it for this long. That entire first week, the blond had simply waited. Riku had not told him himself that he was leaving. According to Zack, they had felt there was no time. Sephiroth was highly unstable and Riku was showing signs of stress. The only message he left with Zack was that he loved him and he was sorry it had to be this way.
During the second week, Cloud seriously began to entertain the idea that his lover was not going to be coming back anytime soon. He was not going to walk through the front door at any moment or mysteriously appear in their bedroom one night. This slow realization brought with it a gradually building pain in his chest and a strange numbness to the rest of him.
It was sometime during the third week that it finally truly hit him. He had been at Headquarters, waiting for Zack to finish printing out the new layout for the final power relay station on the south end. The computer was giving the raven-haired man a hard time and he muttered that he wished Riku were here.
Cloud still could not comprehend the sheer agony that had come over him like a rolling wave. If Zack had not raced over and given him something to hold on to, he was certain he would have been swept away by it. Once he had cried out all of his anguish, he was left numb and had been since.
Sora must have realized Cloud was not going to acknowledge him vocally, but the glance was enough to get him to continue. The teen's question was curious and shy but the hesitation was gone. "What made you fall in love with Riku?"
Cloud's steps did not falter but something within his chest shuddered. How many times had Riku asked him that same question? How many times had he himself asked it? He still had not come up with an answer that satisfied him.
He shrugged a bit.
"Oh come on." Sora insisted, lacing his fingers together behind his head. "There had to be something."
The older man considered this for a moment. He honestly was not sure just when he had fallen in love with Riku. He knew the exact moment he had realized it but he knew he had loved the teen long before that.
"Okay," Sora tried again. "What was it about Riku that first drew your attention?"
Now that was an easy question, "His eyes."
The boy tilted his head and motioned for Cloud to continue.
With a faint sigh, Cloud explained. "The first time I saw Riku, he was hovering in one of the alcoves of Maleficent's meeting room just like I was. I still don't know why Hades insisted I attended those things with him. Regardless, I sensed someone watching me and glanced over.
"I could barely see his face but those eyes…" Cloud trailed off. He should have recognized from the start that Riku was one of them, that telltale Mako glow should have given it away. However, he had been too captivated by those iridescent, aqua depths to even think. Those eyes that somehow managed to convey everything the youth felt so easily.
"Yeah, they're something." Sora agreed. "I always thought it was really cool how bright they were. I always thought Riku was pretty."
"He's beautiful." Cloud found himself murmuring, "In every possible way."
He caught Sora's faint laugh and nearly chastised himself. He was not supposed to carry on like this. Then he realized that at the moment, he did not particularly care. So long as it was with Sora, he could say anything he wanted.
"The first time I actually spoke to Riku was the second time I saw him." The older man spoke slowly. "And it was he who spoke to me. We were hanging around outside the meeting room, leaning against opposite walls and it had been silent for a good ten minutes before he suddenly said in that smooth, low voice, 'I'm beginning to think these people have no clue what they're doing.'
"I found myself chuckling before I was even aware of it. That was all that was spoken but as I left, I found myself hoping to see him again. Soon I was practically volunteering to go to Hollow Bastion."
The pair fell quiet for a few moments. Cloud flicked his eyes toward Sora and noted a thoughtful look to the boy's face. He found himself wanting to know what it was that he was thinking.
"Riku told me that he knew he loved you when he saw you after you decided not to follow Hades' orders." The brunet grinned at the blond gratefully. "Thanks for not killing me, by the way."
Cloud only nodded. He had not made the connection that Sora was Riku's wayward friend until much later but regardless, he had not been able to bring himself to kill a child no matter who he was. He still maintained that Hercules would have been a different story.
"He said that when he saw you hurt, it hurt him as if he had been injured. It tore at his heart and that was when he knew."
Cloud felt a smile tug at his lips. He should have guessed that. They had shared their first kiss two days later. "That's about the time I realized I had feelings for him.
"It was after he had the confrontation with you in Monstro that I knew I was in love with him. He didn't say a word about what happen but had fallen into my arms the minute he walked up to me and just cried. It was the first time I had seen him truly vulnerable.
"Once he calmed down, he pulled away from me and simply said, 'Somehow, I'm going to make things right again.' He spoke with such determination, such certainty. Despite how terribly he was hurting, and I knew he was suffering, he refused to give in to it." Cloud let out a breath. "That was the moment I knew I would give Riku everything I had. That I would do anything it took to make sure he never felt alone, never felt the pain he was feeling ever again."
He glanced down and felt a few tears form at the corner of his eyes. "I haven't done a very good job of that."
A hand touched his arm and he glanced at Sora. The boy looked to him with large blue eyes. "By simply loving Riku, you have done everything you can for him."
…And for once Cloud believed those words. He actually felt the truth of them within his heart and he fully smiled at Sora. He really was glad Sora had come to him.
They walked quietly for a block before Cloud again felt Sora looking at him, "Now what, Sora?"
The teen blushed a bit and fixed his gaze on the curb beside them as they walked. "Well, uh," he rubbed at the back of his neck. "Riku kinda told me a bit about his sixteenth birthday and I was wondering…"
Cloud laughed. "That was entirely his decision. I would have waited however long it took."
"Good." Sora nodded. After a pause, he shifted his attention back on the blond. "Did he really jump you?"
"The moment I told him sixteen was the age of consent."
The boy giggled. "He really likes sex."
"I think its more touch and the feeling of connection that goes with it." Cloud commented absently.
Sora angled his head. "Oh, that makes sense."
Cloud watched ahead as they turned onto their street. "He also loves sex."
Sora snorted.
The blond glanced over and smiled at his lover's best friend. "Thanks, Sora."
He was not entirely sure what he was thanking the teen for but it did not really matter. He was feeling a great deal better than he had when they had begun the trek home. There was no doubt in his mind Sora had known the conversation would have that effect.
The boy only nodded and dropped his hands to his sides.
A few houses from the one that was now both of theirs, Sora quietly stated. "He didn't want to leave you."
Cloud slowly inhaled and exhaled. "I know. He did what he thought was best for everyone and he was probably right. I just wish I knew they were alright."
"I think they are." Sora said firmly. "I think we would both know if something bad happened to them."
Again, Cloud found himself believing the teen. He was the Keyblade Master after all. There was no one else more qualified to make that kind of assessment.
As they approached home, Cloud tilted his head and frowned a bit. Zack was sitting on the front step, right leg bouncing lightly while his fingers drilled out another rhythm in his knee. When he looked up, it stopped and he stood.
There was a rather large grin on his face and Cloud felt a small flare of hope in his heart. There was something about Zack's expression…
"Hey, guys!" The raven-haired man waved. "Guess where I've been?"
Cloud did not dare speak his thoughts for fear of being told they were wrong. Sora, however, had no such issue. "Did you find them?"
Violet eyes fixed themselves upon Cloud. "He'll be home soon."
The blond nodded wordlessly, not bothering to try to conceal the few tears that pricked his eyes. They did not matter. Right then, nothing mattered beyond what Zack's words meant.
Riku was okay.
