AN (Thursday): Um, so Cas and I both wrote this chapter collaboratively. I wrote the first paragraph, then we each did every other one or whatever. Um, it's the only chapter like this, as most others were written by me and then edited and added to by Cas. So, hope you enjoy! And also, the chapter title should be "Prologue Of Sorts". Yeah, I messed it up. Which was pretty much to be expected.

DISCLAIMER: We don't own Homestuck or any of the characters or stuff.

Dirk spat viciously at Jake. "I hate your fuckin' guts." "Yeah, well, same to you!" Jake replied. They then engaged in fisticuffs. They fought for about ten minutes, then were both sufficiently tired. "Say, how about we call it a day?" said Jake. "Why,"said Dirk, almost gasping for breath. "Your pansy ass couldn't take it anymore?" Jake went red. "No, I- It's just-" "Oh, spit it out. You motherfucking dorks are supposed to be the smart ones, right?" said Dirk. "Well, it's just..."

Jake shrugs, trailing off before actually finishing that thought, looking himself over for bruises and scrapes before shrugging again, gotta keep it consistent. Dirk watches with a douchey, smug smile fixed on his face, muttering, "Cat got your tongue or something, Stringlish?"

"No, you asshole, I guess I just...forgot what I was going to say." "Yeah, sure," smirks Dirk. "I'm sure that's what happened." Dirk puts Jake in a headlock. "Now, what was it you were going to say, UltraDork?"

Jake doesn't even bother pushing at his arms because he's really fucking tired, shrugging yet again and smiling sheepishly. "Like I said, I don't quite remember." He waits a minute before stepping on Dirk's foot, probably grinding his heel down a little more than he really needed to.

"Ow, what the fuck?" mutters Dirk, noticing Jake's heel digging into the top of his shoe. He flings his arms to the right, effectively tossing Jake several feet sideways. Jake doesn't even bother to do anything about it, just crouches on the ground, panting. Yet he still manages to get out, "Is that the best you can do, Strider?" before collapsing on the ground.

Dirk kind of bites his lip, taking a few steps towards him and nudging him with his foot, gently of course, the douchebag had done enough damage already and he's well aware of that. "Jake."

Jake did nothing. Dirk nudged him with his foot again. Still nothing. "Oh, shit. No. Did this asshole just get fucking knocked out here? Is this now my responsibility? Fuck." He nudged Dirk with his foot again, futilely. "Shit," he said again, before picking Jake up and carrying his almost lifeless form on his shoulder.

Jake kind of presses against him, groaning softly because of rather apparent reasons, muttering, "The fuck are you doing, anyway?"

"Oh, hello, Sleeping Beauty. Glad you didn't require a fucking kiss. Though I know some people who would be more than happy," Dirk said, scowling. "What? Who? And I'm awake, why in the hell are you still carrying me for?"

Dirk freezes up some, letting him go reluctantly and shrugging nonchalantly. "I'm not anymore."

"Well, I see that now. And what were you talking about? Who would be happy?" said Jake. Dirk grinned. "You tell me what it was that you supposedly "forgot" earlier, and maybe I'll tell you."

"No forget it, I won't tell you and you won't tell me." and with that, Jake smacked Dirk and ran away, Dirk watching.