Hikari: So, I'm not too proud of how I wrote each character, but I do like this story. If that made any sense at all. But in the end, I really like this story and hope everyone else does too.
Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue.
Four Times Too Late
The first time it happened we were in bed.
There was a knocking sound on our apartment door and Light shot me a look that told me I had to get it. I sent him a smile and nod before getting up from the bed and making my way over to the door. Against Light's constant warning about how mostly unsavory people lived in our apartment complex, I opened the door without looking through the peephole. Personally, I preferred to believe in the kindness in people's hearts and found I was not let down when I saw one of our nicer neighbors on the other side of the door.
He was a blonde boy just a few years younger than Light and I, though his appearance this time was ruffled and if I didn't know him better I would say he looked worried or scared about something. But that couldn't be possible, Mello was fearless and was more likely to face any problems he came across with a gun in hand rather than run away from them.
As I stood in minor shell shock at our late-night visitor, he raced past me, leaving me barely enough time for me to get out of his way. By the time I recovered enough to turn around, the bathroom door had already been slammed shut and I could only faintly make out the noises of someone retching into the toilet. Light wouldn't be happy when he figured out what was going on.
As if on cue, Light came into the living room, running a hand through his slightly messy hair. I suppressed a childish giggle since he didn't like my laugh and just thought to myself how he never showed anyone but me his messy side. Around everyone else he always looked immaculate, but I saw that little part of him that liked to slack off. "Misa," he said, interrupting my thoughts, "who was that?"
"It was Mello-Kun," I replied, going over to him so I could stand up on my tip-toes and place a soft kiss to his lips.
"And why is Mello here this late at night? Doesn't he have any manners at all?" Light sighed, finally catching a glimpse of the closed bathroom door and raising one eyebrow at me.
"Light-Kun, please be nice," I whined. "Please don't kick Mello-Kun out. There was something wrong with him, I could tell. So please be nice to him."
"Make sure he doesn't make a mess. He's your responsibility," Light responded, casting one last glance at the bathroom door before heading back to our shared bedroom.
"Thank you Light-Kun," I sing-songed. When he had left the room and I heard the bedroom door close however, the smile faded from my face and I made my way to the bathroom and opened the door softly. Mello was still retching into the toilet so I knelt down next to him to hold his pretty blonde hair back. Secretly, I was a bit jealous that he seemed to have nicer hair than me, but that didn't mean I was going to let it get dirty.
It was odd really; Mello knocking on our door this late at night. And to make matters worse, something seemed to be wrong with him, but I couldn't get a grasp on what it was for the life of me. This shouldn't have surprised me though, since it wasn't like I exactly knew Mello, or his boyfriend Matt, that well anyway. We met when they moved into the apartment about eight months ago. Mello was only 18 at the time and Matt 17. They seemed like the happiest couple in the entire building, but how was I to know what went on behind closed doors.
We had them over for dinner a few times as casual acquaintances, and they returned the favour several times as well, but we didn't really know each other. But by the time my thoughts had taken me this far, Mello was sitting back and flushing the toilet. I stood up on cue and offered my hand, which he took silently, something else abnormal about him. The Mello I knew (if only slightly) accepted help from no one, no matter what the circumstances.
"Are you alright Mello-Kun?" I asked, pouring a glass of water for him.
He took the glass and rinsed out his mouth several times before choosing to reply to me, "I'm fine. I just got locked out of my apartment and wasn't feeling good. I don't really know anyone else here, so I just went to your door."
"Matt isn't home?" I asked, noticing the subtle flinch he gave at the name of his lover.
"Bastard takes too long to get off his fat ass. I would have just been sick in the hallway, so I took my chances with you and Light," Mello responded. By now he was fixing his messy hair in the mirror, almost as if he was trying to make himself look more presentable for someone.
"Mello-Kun doesn't need to fix himself up. It's only Misa-Misa here and she doesn't mind," I giggled quietly, mindful of how loud my voice got just in case Light wasn't fully asleep yet. It would do me no good to wake him up again.
"I…"Mello started. "I prefer to look somewhat presentable around other people no matter what."
"Don't be so serious or you'll turn into Light-Kun," came my reply.
He suddenly stopped fixing his hair and turned towards me to look me in the eyes. His gaze practically stared through me and I had to avert my eyes to look just above him. That way, it looked like I was staring directly at him as well, but I didn't actually have to look him in those piercing blue eyes. It was a trick that many actors and actresses used on stage. "Do you really think I'm like Light?"
"Not like that. Just always looking presentable. That's Light-Kun's outlook on things too." I smiled, but it didn't feel genuine this time.
He didn't resume fixing his hair and instead let his hands fall fully to his sides. He wasn't looking at me anymore, but instead turned his head downward as he spoke, "Misa. I…I didn't get locked out."
"What happened then?" I asked in genuine shock. I mean, I knew something was wrong, but I had no idea what it was.
"I left the apartment. Matt...he hit me. I mean, he's hit me before and I've hit him, but this time was…different," Mello whispered. It was easy for even me to tell that he was having trouble telling me all this, and if I really thought about it, that made sense. It wasn't like we were friends or anything, just casual acquaintances. And casual acquaintances didn't usually share things like this with each other.
When he fell silent, I chose to speak up. I wanted to know what happened. Even if we weren't friends, I wanted to help him. "Mello-Kun, how was it different?"
"It was harder and in the stomach. Why do you think I was sick," Mello growled and I jumped a little. He didn't apologize, but he did shoot me a kinder glance to make up for it. "And since I'm sure you're gonna ask, he lost it when I told him to turn the volume down on his damn games. It was too fuckin' loud in the apartment and I was trying to work."
"That's horrible," I came close to shouting, but remembered my sleeping boyfriend at the last second and lowered my voice. "Um, Mello-Kun, do you want to stay here for the night? We don't have an extra bed, but the couch is really comfy. Misa-Misa has fallen asleep on it a few times and it doesn't give you back cramps or anything."
"Thanks," Mello offered with a small smile in my direction. I nodded and went about fixing the couch up so it would be suitable for someone to sleep on.
"If you need anything, just wake Misa-Misa up," I smiled when I was done. The boy nodded at me and I waited until he was situated on the sofa before going back into the bedroom.
"What happened?" Light asked suddenly when I laid down.
"Oh, Light-Kun! Misa-Misa didn't know you were still awake."
"I wanted to know what happened," Light responded.
"Matt hit Mello-Kun," I told my boyfriend. "Light-Kun, he could be in a lot of trouble. Misa-Misa wants to help them."
"Misa," Light sighed, pulling me against his body to ensure that I would listen to his full speech. "This isn't something we can help with. Matt and Mello have to work this out on their own. If we intervene this time and then it happens again later on, Mello won't call Matt off and will just wait for someone else to do it for him, and then it will be too late. All we can do is encourage Mello to leave Matt."
"But they love each other!" I argued, pushing his arms off me for the first time ever. "Some genius you are if you won't even try to help people who need it!"
I hurried from the bedroom out into the living room where Mello seemed to be sleeping peacefully and pulled out the rest of our spare pillows and blankets from the closet. We had them for the rare occasion that more than one person was staying with us, though throughout our three years living in the complex, we had never needed to use them. It was looking like tonight would be their first use.
I made my makeshift bed a little ways away from the couch so that Mello wouldn't step on me if he happened to wake up first, yet close enough so that I could make out his sleeping form in the dark. Once I had my bed ready, I laid down and found myself asleep in mere minutes. Apparently my slight anger at Light made me more tired than usual.
The next morning, Mello was already gone when I woke up.
The second time was in broad daylight.
It was several weeks later and I was walking back from an early breakfast with Light when I saw him. Mello was running from the building as if his life depended on it, and based on what he told me all those weeks ago, it may very well have.
He ran up to the two of us as if we were friends he hadn't seen in a long time and he was eager to catch up, but really he just seemed scared. The way he stood just a little behind me and how his breath was a little shorter than it should have been were the give aways. I may not have been known for my brain, but I could pick up on the emotions of those around me easily.
"Mello-Kun, what's wrong?" I asked in concern, turning my head just a little to the left to look at the boy.
"N-Nothing," he stuttered between breaths. "Just wanted to greet you."
"That's so nice of you Mello-Kun," I smiled to him. Hopefully he would tell me what was wrong later, so at least for now I could help him pretend.
"Don't play Misa like that," Light said suddenly, causing both Mello and I to frown. "If she were really your friend then you wouldn't lie to her like you are now."
"Light-Kun, don't be mean to Mello-Kun. Maybe he really was just being friendly. People can be nice you know," I scolded lightly, nothing overly serious in my tone.
"Don't be stupid Misa, you're being played by someone you consider a friend," Light countered.
"Light-Kun, stop it!" I shouted this time. Then, in hopes to prove my point, I stormed off to the apartment complex at a faster pace to get away from him. I loved Light, I really did, but he could just be so mean sometimes and I couldn't always take it. But it would always work out in the end because he loved me too, and people who love each other can always make things work.
That time, Mello didn't even get the chance to tell me what had happened.
The third time he just came in.
After storming off the last time we ran into each other, I went over to their apartment when I knew Matt would be out and gave Mello our spare key so that he could come in if he ever needed to. We may not have been friends, but even casual acquaintances can help each other out when the situation calls for it.
Sure enough, a few weeks later he was back in our apartment and knocking quietly on the bedroom door. Since I was a lighter sleeper than my boyfriend, I heard the soft noise and was able to make it out of the room without waking Light.
"Mello-Kun?" I asked, coming out into the dim light of the living room. "What happened?"
He wasn't looking at me, opting to stare at the floor and shield his face with shoulder-length blonde hair, but he was sniffling so I could tell that something was very wrong this time. It had to be more than just a few punches to the stomach.
The blonde boy stayed silent for a few minutes longer, seemingly gathering himself together before he finally spoke, "I-I need your help." Then he looked up at me and I felt my throat constrict almost painfully. The entire left side of his face was covered in a blistering red burn. It looked recent, like he had come straight from where it happened.
"Did he-?" I asked, leaving my question unfinished. Mello nodded with a slight wince at the pain it must have caused him. "Just…just come with me. I'll try to get this cleaned up."
Mello followed me obediently, like one of the trained dogs that some of the other actresses had. I always felt sad when I saw those dogs following the girls around as if they had no minds' of their own, and at the sight of Mello doing the same thing with me almost brought me to tears. How I made it to the bathroom in one piece was nothing short of a miracle in my opinion. I could have broken down and cried like I used to, but I chose this one time to remain strong. Mello needed me to. He needed me. I couldn't let him down.
I pulled out some disinfectant and some gauze pads to try and wrap the wound myself, then looked over to the blonde, "Misa-Misa is sorry Mello-Kun, but this is going to hurt."
He nodded at me before speaking in a careful voice, not allowing his mouth to move too much and risk aggrevating the wound, "Just call me Mello."
"Then please bear with Misa-Misa…Mello," I tried to smile encouragingly before I began disinfecting the wound. The way his eyes scrunched up made it easy to tell that he was in a lot of pain, but it had to be cleaned and he knew it. I knew he would never go to the hospital, not if he thought he could just come to me and have me fix it. He wouldn't spend the money when he could get it for free. It wasn't that the boy was greedy, he just didn't have a lot of money. Matt and Mello both had their fixes they needed to satisfy, and that didn't leave a lot of extra cash for either boy, though I suspected that Mello got even less money than his lover did.
"Let this sit for a little bit before Misa-Misa wraps it," I instructed when I was finished. Mello nodded at me curtly and released his death-hold on the sink so that he could sit on the lid of the toilet for a bit. I left the room to tell Light that we would have a guest for the night.
"You could have told me when you first got up," he said, his tone accusatory, the moment I walked into the darkened room. "Misa, why do you go behind my back like this?"
"Light-Kun, what are you talking about? Misa-Misa isn't going behind your back. She just didn't want to disturb you right away. Light-Kun has work tomorrow morning and needs his sleep," I covered. I didn't like it when Light got angry. He would say unkind things to me when he was provoked like this.
"Don't make up excuses!" he suddenly shouted, standing up from our bed as I backed away. Then after a moment he sat back down and spoke in a softer, kinder tone to me, "I'm sorry Misa. It's late and I must have been more tired than I originally thought. I didn't mean to scare you, I just got carried away. I'm sorry. Mello can stay here for the night. I'm going back to bed. I think I need more sleep."
"Don't worry Light-Kun, Misa-Misa isn't angry or anything," I smiled once he had finished. Then I moved over to him to give a tight hug and gentle kiss. "Misa-Misa is going to go help Mello now. He's hurt and needs help with the wounds."
"If you need me, you know where I am," Light responded kindly.
"Okay," I nodded as I left. "I love you Light-Kun. Sweet dreams."
His reply was blocked by the door as I made my way back to the bathroom and began wrapping the wounds silently. It was a haphazard job, but at least I had cleaned them so the chances of infection were less likely. That would have to do though seeing as Mello stood up when he deemed me done and made his way out of the bathroom.
"Does Mello want to talk about it?" I asked softly. "Misa-Misa may not be very smart, but she's a good listener."
He turned back to me and seemed to consider my proposal before resuming his course to the door. Just before he turned the handle though, he turned back to me again, "It wasn't consensual. He always stopped before, but this time, he just didn't. He was really angry. I don't know why, but he was. Be careful Misa, don't ever let this happen to you."
"Mello can stay the night!" I called as he began to turn the handle. "Mello can stay as long as he needs to. Misa-Misa doesn't mind, and she asked Light-Kun and he doesn't either. So you can stay here!"
"Sorry Misa," I both saw and heard Mello sigh. He was opening the door right now and beginning to walk through it, and I could do nothing to stop him. I was just going to let my new friend walk right back into the waiting arms of his abuser. "I can't leave him. I love him, no matter what."
"No!" I shouted. I was sure that I had woken Light up and he would not be happy despite his kind words earlier, but I didn't care for once. I had to ignore him this time; I had to get involved and help my friend.
I raced to the doorway where Mello was just going over the threshold and latched onto him in a powerful hug despite my small size. "Misa-Misa can't let Mello get hurt anymore. She has to help, because Mello is her friend and friends help each other."
"For once Misa, I'm really sorry," Mello smiled sadly at me as he took my arms off him almost effortlessly and left me crying on my doorstep, hoping that he would come back. I just wanted to save him. I just wanted to save my friend, like what happens in fairy tales. The person is danger is always saved by their friend or lover. Mello was in danger and I needed to save him.
But I didn't go after him; I just stood at my doorstep and cried for my friend.
The fourth time it was just a phone call.
It was only a few weeks after Mello had showed up in our apartment and Light and I were taking a much needed vacation. The day the call came, the two of us were on the beach, just soaking up the sun. I remember suddenly hearing my ringtone begin to play despite the fact that I had told most people not to call me this week. I didn't want to talk about acting or anything, I just wanted to get away from it all. Or maybe I just wanted to get away from Mello.
I grabbed the device and clicked the 'talk' button before saying hello into the phone. I tried my hardest to sound happy, even if I was a bit upset that someone was calling and disrupting me. But then I checked the caller ID just as the person was speaking. The number was Mello's, but it definitely wasn't his voice on the other end of the phone.
"Misa?" came the choked sound on the other end.
"Matt?" I replied with my own question. Since Mello's third visit to me I had dropped the honorific on Matt's name. I just couldn't even begin to give him that sort of respect when he had hurt one of my friends so much. "What do you want?"
"I made a mistake," the redhead sobbed on the other end. "It was all just one big mistake. I never meant for this to happen."
"Matt," I said sternly, despite how terrified I was on the inside. "What's going on?" I looked around for signs of Light, signs of someone who could help me with this, but he had gone to get some food for us and had yet to return. I was alone this time, there was no one I could go to.
"I'm so sorry," Matt continued to sob.
This time I jumped up from where I had previously been laying and shouted into the phone, attracting the attention of everyone nearby, "Matt! What's going on? What did you do to Mello?"
"I'm so sorry," he just kept repeating for several more minutes. But then he said something that changed me for the rest of my life. "Mello's dead. I…I killed him."
The phone dropped to ground, my body soon down beside it as sobs wracked my form. I hadn't been able to save him. I just kept letting him go back to his abuser and now he was gone. I failed; I couldn't even save my friend. Yet even as I sobbed I could hear Matt calling for me over the phone. He still wanted to talk, he wanted me to tell him that it was all going to be okay and that I was going to find a way to fix this. Well he was wrong. I couldn't fix this. I could fix Mello for him all those other times, but not this time. You can crack and doll and get it repaired countless times, but when you shatter it, there's no going back. It's your own fault and no one can help you.
I picked up my phone and ended the call; there was nothing more I could do.
The funeral occurred as soon as Light and I returned home.
It was a small affair and only a few of Mello's colleagues even bothered to show up. It made me angry to see that so few people cared about the boy despite what a wonderful person he was. They just hadn't tried hard enough to become his friend. That's why none of them were crying; that's why they all didn't seem to care that he was gone. It was just another employee. They would replace this one just like they replaced the ones they fired. Mello would be no different even though he was so unique.
At least Matt had the decency to stay away. I guess he learned his lesson when I wouldn't even acknowledge him as we passed in the hallways. I was known for how forgiving I was, but this time he crossed the line. He lost his right to see Mello off when he killed him.
When the lowered the coffin I silently said goodbye to Mello for the last time.
A few weeks later my own grave laid next to his.
Things had seemed fine to everyone around us, but I noticed it. Light had been acting oddly for awhile now, and then he hit me. I made him mad because I didn't understand something. I was angry that he would even hit me, but I let it slide the first couple of times. After all, it wasn't like he was hitting me hard, and I loved him. I wasn't going to leave him just for a little violence on his behalf.
But then things got worse. They slowly elevated and I found myself in the same position Mello was in the third time he visited me. I chose the same decision he did and stayed with Light. I loved him; I couldn't just leave him. And if he loved me like he always said he did, then things would start to change and he would get better.
I guess he didn't love me enough to change. Nothing got better, except my skill in hiding the bruises. Then he took it a step too far and I couldn't handle it. He tried to save me, he tried so hard, but by this point I was just tired. I wanted nothing more for all of this to end. So I let my life slip away right before his eyes. I joined Mello in death. I couldn't save him, so I paid the price with my own life. It was a fair trade to me. I can never bring him back, but I can join him in death and spend an eternity apologizing for not being able to save him right at the very beginning.
My funeral was a lot bigger than Mello's was. So many people were mourning me, but none of them mattered. They didn't know who I really was. They only knew the Misa-Misa they saw on the tv, not the actress who loved Light Yagami to such an extent that she let him abuse her until she just gave up. No one knew about that because Light was smarter than the police. I don't understand how he did it, but he walked away from my death scott-free. I should be mad at him, but really, I loved him while I was alive and even love him in death. I can't be mad at him no matter how much I try.
In the end, I was just like Mello, and maybe that's why I couldn't save him.
I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review on your way out!