"Oh bread, you are so kawaii" Peeta cooed, holding the crust up to his lips.
"Oh senpai~" the bread responded, it's crumbs turning bright pink. Peeta caressed its smooth crust, feeling the texture of the beautiful mixture of flour, eggs and water against his fingertips. The bread shied away, pushing Peeta away gently and staring at the ground,
"But what about Katniss?" it asked. Peeta pulled the bread into his arms, passion burning in his eyes.
"It's you I love bread-chan" he announced, before kissing the bread with so much intensity he could almost feel it crumbling beneath his fingers. As Peetas lips left hers, he smiled. Their hearts were intertwined with such affection that he felt she was the one.
"Peeta, what the hell are you doing?" Katniss asked, her arms crossed over her chest and an eyebrow raised in confusion.
"Nothing!" Peeta stammered quickly, hiding the loaf behind his back.
The beautiful bread mistress was shocked. She knew she should have expected this betrayal, but she could not resist his charms.
"Were you talking to that loaf of bread?" Katniss asked incredulously. The bread mistress felt hurt at being referred to like that and Peeta glanced back at her nervously.
"I-uhh-" Peeta stammered. He felt stuck in the middle of an inescapable love triangle. His heart began to race as he felt the two sets of judgement upon him. In one moment of unsurity he pulled the bread to his face and pressed his lips against it's browning crust.
"Bread-chan! You're the only one I love and I don't care who knows it!" he announced. Katniss stepped back in awe.
"You chose bread...over me?!" she shrieked.
"You know nothing of our love, it is pure and real and full of happiness that you never have given me!" Peeta cried.
The bread mistress felt a warmth in the centre of her body. He did love her!
Senpai noticed her!
She felt sugoi and kawaii all at once!
Her kokoro went doki she would be a waifu, and would have little bread children.
But her hopes were dashed suddenly when Peeta raised her to his lips and in one swift movement sunk his teeth into her. Her flesh was soft, decidant, everything he had dreamed of out of a loaf of bread.
He couldn't hear her screaming, she couldn't believe he'd betray her like that.
"You're so delicious bread-chan" he purred, as he sunk his teeth into her again and again.
He felt her doughy goodness fall into his stomach, and it felt safe and warm. Katniss watched on confused.
"You have fucking issues, man," she commented, walking away as he all-but orgasmed whilst he ate his ex-lover.
As he placed the last of the bread mistress in his mouth, he licked his fingers and smacked his lips. Now they would be together...
until bowel movement do they part.