People say death is easy, simple, and pain-free. Well those people have never experienced a burning pole falling on their back, slowly killing them. Right now I'm waiting for Dally to come back from the rumble with Ponyboy. He came by, said he talked his nurse into letting him leave the hospital early with Two-Bit switch, what I can't believe is that Two-Bit would actually give Dally his switch to use.
The rumble started ten minutes ago, I watched the clock counting down the time. The doctor had confirmed it, I'm going to die. It may have not been said to my face but I heard it, I feel bad for leaving Ponyboy. He was my best friend and Dallas is the dad I never had. I know I'm the only person Dally loves; everyone else in his life is just there, taking up space. I want him to know he can go on without me.
"How are you doing Johnny?" the nurse asked as she came into check on me, I smiled some for the fact I was going to die tonight. "I am doing good for the fact I'm going to die." She looked shocked; I guess she didn't want me to know. "Don't say that." She looked sad; it was strange for a socy looking girl to feel bad for a greaser like me. "Well, even if I do live I won't be able to use my legs, and I'll die pretty fast on the street without them." She took a minute to digest my words, it was true. On the street you need to run a lot, and in a wheel chair you can't run. "I'm sorry hun." "No need to feel sorry for a hood like me, I may have rescued some kids from a burning church but I am no hero." She shook her head. "You are a hero, not because you saved those kids, you're a hero born."
I smiled at her words; no one could believe a greasy mug like me could be a hero. "Could you do me a favor?" She turned around and looked at me before nodding. "Can I have a pen and piece of paper, I want to write my friend a letter." She smiled before leaving the room, I glanced around. The white hospital room was boring, nothing in it but I needed to find a way to give Ponyboy my letter. I laid my eyes on 'Gone With The Wind', it was perfect. Put the note in the book then have the nurse give it to him.
She returned in the room with a piece of paper, pen, and a clipboard. "I'm going to put this note in "Gone With The Wind", could you give it to Ponyboy?" "Of Course." She said with a smile, that's why I liked this nurse, she was kinder then most socy people. She handed me the stuff before leaving the room. I picked up the pen and stared at the blank paper. Then carefully I started writing, hoping it would make sense to Ponyboy.
Ponyboy,
I asked the nurse to give you this book so you could finish it. The doctor came in a while ago but I knew anyway. I keep getting tireder and tireder. Listen, I don't mind dying now. It was worth it. It's worth saving those kids. Their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for. Some of their parents came by to thank me and I know it was worth it. Tell Dally it was worth it. I'm just gonna miss you guys. I've been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you're gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid everything's new, dawn. It's just when you get used to everything that it's day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's gold. Keep that way, it's a good way to be. I want you to tell Dally to look at one. He'll probably think you're crazy, but ask for me. I don't think he's ever really seen a sunset. And don't be so bugged over being a greaser. You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There's still lots of good in the world. Tell Dally. I don't think he knows.
Your buddy, Johnny.
The letter was perfect to me; it explained everything I wanted him to do. I heard some people running down the hall, and then fighting with my doctor. I carefully folded the note and placed it inside the book in between to random pages. Dally came into the room and then Ponyboy, I could only make out some of the things they were telling me. "We're all proud of ya man." Dally's words hit me, making me smile. That's all I ever wanted, Dally to be proud of me. "Come here Ponyboy." I said, my voice was hoarse and lower than a whisper. Ponyboy leaned his head down near my face. "Stay Gold Ponyboy, stay gold." I could hear Dallas cussing as my head fell back into the pillow, I couldn't breathe.
Then Everything Went Black.