Morphine

A/N: I don't own Shaman King.

Summary: Faust is missing something… Is it Eliza, or something else entirely?

Rating: PG-13
Genre: (Light) Angst/General

Prologue: The Pain, the Morphine

(Third Person POV)

Ravishing, but glassy azure eyes stared waywardly at an empty needle on the less than sterile floor beneath him. Messy blond hair fell forward into the face of beaten broken man, whose face seemed crest-fallen and agitated from the sudden revelation that that would be the last shot of morphine he'd get for a while.

'This just can't be… I can't fight without it.'

Ever since the death of his beloved, morphine had helped ease the pain. The pain of loneliness, anger, vengeance, and, of course, the pain of the Shaman King preliminary fights. A pale hand hungrily searched the pockets of his lab coat to dispel these 'myth.' He could feel his eyes go red as the reassertion of this…mistake…sunk in.

"I…" He started sullenly. "…I am…out of morphINE!"

As he was cracked at the last syllable, his eyes widened the faintest inch. As the high began to fade, he could feel himself get just a tad bit irritated.

'No, not now.' He despaired.

Chapter One: Withdrawal From One's Self

(Third Person POV)

Johann Faust the VIII was not what one could consider to be sociable. It was a cruel fact of life, throughout most of his natural life, that people avoided him like the damned plague. Elizabeth Falke was the only person outside of his immediate family who had ever cared to talk to him. However, that never bothered Faust, only those imposed the communication embargo on him.

Which is why it was ever so surprising that the docile personification of subservience had been so quick to snap at his friends on the Funbari Team and the Ren Team…especially since the person he'd snapped at the most was no other than Anna. The pair had gone at it so much in fact, that the two had to be separated.

Anna was now barricaded in her room out of fear of her, respect for Faust, and the justified reason for doing such a thing to the glorified slave driver. Faust was currently cooling off in the hot springs, refusing to speak to anyone.

The weary and cranky blond shaman begrudgingly relaxed in the hot springs. Though it was only sparingly before he remembered that Anna wanted him to the doctor for Funbari Hot Springs… The idea was actually pretty nice, however… When you're going through withdrawal and pissed as all Hell at the founder of Funbari Hot Springs, it doesn't exactly inspire aspirations of working as their subordinate.

(Faust's POV)

A small groan passed through my dry, cracked lips. I'd been through withdrawal before, if only for a few days, but this… It'd be quite a long time I would be able to get more morphine. Until then, the others would have to deal with my pissy attitude. If they didn't like it, then I could shove their over souls up their asses.

More air escaped my lips, only this time it was in the form of a sigh. I wouldn't be able to keep my damn cool for long and that could be trouble. Especially when participants tended to prey on ones emotions. I looked towards the bones of his late wife with a look of pity.

I was always used to being a alone, at least before Eliza entered my life. But after her death and then return as my guardian ghost, she fell silent to me. Even though for the past few years Eliza had been by my side, I still felt alone. Even when she was alive it felt as if she wasn't there at all. At times I thought the only reasons she married me was because I saved her life and out of pity. It had always been that way.

This was one of the reasons I hated withdrawal, it was horrendous for me. Gone was my painless, plastic existence and here before me was the lonely state I felt all the damn time in my youth. The second reason was the physical reaction, the normal withdrawal pains that any drug user goes through.

'Dammit, I was a doctor! Why the Hell was I bitching about it? I knew… I knew that would happen and chose to do it anyway. What the- What the Hell am I doing?' I thought in utter confusion. 'Surely, there is something better out there for me than this.'

I continued to look at the skeletal remains of my guardian ghost.

'What are you doing here with me…?'

(Third Person POV)

Yoh shook his short mane of russet, in an attempt to rid himself of a bad shiver. Anna was pretty damn scary when she was angry, but Faust… Never again had he wanted to see the same Faust he met in the tournament prelims. Certainly, it wasn't a day neither he or Manta would forget. On that day, he realized that not everything would end as he hoped. He realized that his dreams could easily be dashed.

That one stray thought made Yoh think that Faust must have felt the same thing when he lost Eliza. The happiness, the comfort…all taken away by some "big man with a big gun." He felt himself grow a little cross at the thought. It was the first time he'd ever considered how Faust felt about things.

'Am I really that self centered?' Yoh questioned coarsely. 'May be I was just hiding it from myself…'

"Yeah, that's it." Yoh whispered absently, mostly to himself.

He wasn't aware that Manta had overheard him and had cocked his head and curiosity.

A/N: Don't know where this is headed, but I am hoping somewhere good. Lemme know what you think please.