Chapter 1

Sian pov

"Knock knock"

"Oh hi you're early" Sophie said to me as I shrugged.

"Yeah I had… an appointment today I thought you wouldn't mind" I said trying to avoid contact.

"Where are they" Sophie asked me.

"Oh well they haven't been here in a while and Matty wanted to see his toys and decided to take Lily with him" I stated as Sophie nodded. "You sure you have time to…" I started saying as Sophie sighed.

"YES Sian I do" Sophie said sternly.

"All right well I'm gonna go then" I said as I headed off.

…

I had been waiting for Laura to come back from the bathroom when she spotted Rosie at the other side of the road in a bar. I sighed. "Not again" I thought.

"Hey sorry to keep you waiting" Laura said to me as I was snapped back to reality. "So what kind of work do you do?" she asked me as I smiled and answered. "Uhm I own a flower shop" I smiled as Rosie caught my attention again.

"O cool, well I'm a lawyer…" Laura started saying to me. I didn't know why I came, my heart isn't in it, and I was nowhere near ready to get back into the game. I fixated my gaze on Rosie who seemed to be splattered again. Rosie had been an alcoholic for a couple years now. I sighed once more at the view.

"I'm sorry I can't do this right now" I said to Karen as her face turned to disappointment. "Look I just… my sis… a friend of mine seems to be in trouble, I'm sorry" I said to her as she just smiled at me.

"It's fine" she said shyly.

"I should go I'm really sorry I'll call you okay" I said to her as I left the pub and entered the bar from across the road. My breathe hitched as I saw Lily sitting next to Rosie in her stroller.

"Lily?" I said in utter shock as she rushed to her daughter's stroller. "Mummy" the two year old mumbled happily.

"Baby, what are you doing here" I said to her as anger washed over me and I tried to wake Rosie.

"Rosie what the hell is Lily doing with you and in here" I hissed at her.

"Sophiiieee shee asked me to wwatch them" Rosie slurred as I started frowning.

"WHAT! Hold on where's Matthew" I asked her as she started to close her eyes again. "ROSIE!" I screamed at her. I couldn't believe Sophie, the one time she was supposed to watch them; she passed them on to Rosie. I was fuming with anger.

"Fuck sakes" I muttered as I held Lily in my arms. I started circling the bar as I finally spotted Math behind a pool table. I sighed in relief until I saw a man shoving a beer glass in his hands.

"Matthew Webster get them hands away from that beer glass" I said angrily as the 8 year old turned around and grinned.

"Sian" he croaked out as he ran over to her and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I wanna go home" he whined as I tried to sooth him.

"We are… we're going home, I just have to have a word with the owners okay" I smiled at him. I took him by the hand with Lily in my other hand. I put Lily back into her stroller. "Watch your sister" I said to him as she went over to the bar.

"I wanna speak to the owner now" I spat at the bartender. The man gestured to a rather tall bloke to come over.

"Is there a problem" he said as I turned around.

"YES there is actually, since when do you let children in bars" I snapped at him as he started to get uncomfortable.

"Well we don't normally, but Rosie said they were family and…" he started trailing off.

"Rosie, ROSIE doesn't have a leg to stand on" I screamed at the owner as I pointed at Rosie. "I should report you to the authorities" she shouted at him as his gaze turned to fear.

"Look there's no need to do that" he said as I scoffed at him.

"And why not, why shouldn't I? You've not only fed my sister in law's addiction but now you've also put my children at risk" I spat at him.

"Please don't" he pleaded.

"Fine, but if I hear you've been serving her drinks I'll report this" I snarled at him as I pointed at Rosie.

"Come on you two" I said calmly as she took Matty by the hand and I pushed the stroller out of the pub. I couldn't get my head around this. Sophie had them for this weekend, I knew Sophie couldn't be bothered with spending time with her children, but I thought Sophie was a bit more responsible and would at least look after them.

"Sian are we going home" Math asked me as I nodded. "Real home? Or the apartment" He asked me as I sighed and closed my eyes. He wasn't handling the separation very well and I was trying my best to make it better for him.

"Look we'll go to the house to get your stuff and then you two are coming back to the apartment with me" I said to him as he furrowed his brows.

"Can't you just stay home with us and mum" he asked me as I stopped my pace and crouched to his level.

"Matty we've been over this, you know I can't… your mum and I we…. We're not… we already explained all this to you" I sighed trying to calm him down but he pulled his hand away from mine.

"I think your explanation is a load of rubbish" he said as my eyes almost popped out of my head.

"Oi watch your language, where did you hear that word anyways" I asked the lad as he just shrugged. I sighed. "Matty…Math look at me" I said as he turned his gaze to me.

"I still don't understand it, you said…." he muttered as I embraced him in a hug. "I know… it's complicated, I just want you to know your mum and I still love you and your sister as much okay" I said to him as he shrugged again. "Come on babe" I said as I got up and led him to the car. I put my two year old in the car seat, made sure Matty had his seatbelt on and drove to the house. I had bought that house with Sophie when lily was born, the apartment had become too small. The memory of the day we signed the contract made me smile, but also made my heart ache.

…

"Omg babe it's amazing" She said to me.

"Yeah it is" I laughed at Sophie and Matty who were jumping up and down.

"Come on Sian jump" Matty said to me but I shook my head as Sophie explained to him that I couldn't jump cause of the pregnancy, my belly was too heavy. Sophie left the bed and came over to me.

"Hi" she grinned.

"Hi" I replied as Sophie put her hands on my belly.

"What do you think" she asked me.

"I think it's expensive" I stated as Sophie snaked her arms around her waist.

"Yeah but we can afford it" Sophie sniggered.

"You can afford it" I stated as Sophie sighed.

"Babe we've been married for 5 years and you still don't get the concept of what mine is yours do you" she smirked at me.

"I just want to pay my fair share that's all" I said as I looked at the ground.

"You are paying your fair share, and If you want you can pay me the amount of money I'm putting in back in kisses and lots of rounds of steamy hot sex…" she started whispering in my ear as I felt herself getting turned on. Those pregnancy hormones were making me very horny much to Sophie's delight.

"Really?" I smirked as I raised an eyebrow. "Are you gonna put that in the contract" I sniggered as I kissed her lips gently. Sophie reacted and let her tong caress mine. She moaned as I tangled my hands in her hair. We were snapped back to reality as someone cleared their voice.

"Uhm here is the contract if you would like to take a look at it" The salesman said as we both started chuckling.

"Yeah thanks" she replied. She looked at me with her puppy eyes. "So are you in" she asked pouting her lip as I started laughing. How could I resist my wife when she was pulling a face like that?

"All right" I said as she grinned and kissed my lips passionately.

"I love you" she said to me.

"Yeah I bet you do…. I love you too" I replied as she pecked my lips.

…...

Sophie pov

I was having a business date and I was already regretting letting Rosie watch Lily and Math, but she had begged me to trust her for once in her life and I had given in.

"So here is the contract you'd have to sign if you want this job" Martha said to me as I nodded. I wasn't sure if I should take this job, my mind was all over the place until I heard the door open. l looked up and saw Sian enter the house with Math and Lily by her side. I frowned, what are they doing with her?" I thought. Sian seemed really angry as she threw the keys on the table.

"Busy night" she smiled fakely.

"Uhm no I mean yeah kind of" I answered honestly. She nodded angrily and looked at Martha.

"Oh and you're here too" she snarled at the assistant.

"Hi Mrs. Webster" she said shyly to her as Sian put on another fake smile.

"Don't mind me, I'm just here to collect their stuff and then I'll be on my way" she said angrily as she looked at me. I frowned; it was my week why was she taking them.

"What? What do you mean, I'm supposed to have them this week" I said to her as she scoffed at her.

"Really? Then what were they doing with Rosie IN A BAR Sophie?" she snapped at me. "Matthew take your sister upstairs" she said to our son as he did as he was told. My mind was rambling "A bar, Rosie oh no she was in a bar again and WAIT with my children, o god" my mind screamed.

"What! Martha could you…" I said to her as Martha made her way into another room of the house. She had been doing that for months now, ever since the night Sian left.

"What do you mean, how is that possible" I said taken aback.

"Possible? Well I don't know Sophie how about when you trust OUR children to a drunk" she spat at me.

"I'm sorry; she had begged me and… I had a work thing…" I said quietly as she sighed.

"Yeah…. something was more important than your family…. again" She said quietly looking at the papers that were lying on the table. The anger seemed to be replaced by disappointment and hurt.

"That's not true my family's more important to me than anything" I defended as she scoffed at me.

"O are you still playing that record" she snarled at me as she passed me. Every single time my heart broke as I saw Sian's eyes. Eyes that used to be so full of love were now full of anger and hurt.

"Sian…" I said as I took hold of her wrist. I had been trying to get her to stay, talk to me every single time.

"Don't Sophie, I'm gonna get their stuff ready and then I'll be on my way" she stated but I didn't let go of her wrist. She couldn't just take them it was my week.

"What? Ughh for fuck sakes Sian they're my children too" I stated as she gave me her death glare she grew accustomed of using on me.

"Then start acting like a bloody mother" she snapped pulling her wrist from my grip. I felt my heart shattering in 100 pieces, I didn't even know how much my heart could break anymore, but it did every time.

…

"Bye mum" Matty said quietly as he hugged me. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and gave Lily that was nestled in my arms to Sian.

"Uhm I'll bring them back in 2 days so you have time to sort out your schedule" she said coldly. I gulped and got up.

"Sian" I said quietly. "Don't go" I whispered as I felt my voice crack. I wanted her to stay so badly, I knew I screwed up, but I just wanted her back.

"I'll see you Sophie" she said as she walked out of the door with Math on her right and lily on her left.

After they left I opened the liquor cabinet and took out of bottle of whisky. I poured myself a glass and sat at the kitchen table. I took a sip and let the liquor burn my throat, it seemed to numb the pain at the bottom of my stomach that I had ever since Sian walked out on.