A/N: Yeesh, I've been out of practice for quite some time. But I wanted to do something for Valentine's Day, and the idea for this story popped out at me. I'm probably a bit rusty, but here's hoping I can still write something that'll entertain.

Thanks for reading, and I hope ya like it. If things go according to plan, there should be one chapter a day up 'til Valentine's Day itself. If they don't, it'll probably stretch a bit beyond that.

(Story image courtesy of Doodlz18. In fact, her image is what inspired this story in the first place! The whole picture can be found over at her deviantart.)

"Alriiiight, it's finally about to start! Thanks again for telling us about it, Heloise."

Heloise waved him off, smiling as she took her place beside her friend on his couch. "No problem, Jimmy," she replied. "I know you wanted to see it-"

She paused midsentence as something wet smacked into her face. She cautiously wiped it off her cheek, growling. "And he did, too."

Heloise scowled at the monster sitting on her other side with his head stuck in an extra large bowl of popcorn. Beezy ignored her glare, sending globs of food flying as he chowed down.

Heloise sighed, rubbing at her temples. When she'd told Jimmy they were showing Star Swines on daytime cable, the hit movie that had just received a sequel, she'd been hoping she'd get to watch it with him alone. And yet, somehow it didn't surprise her at all when she'd shown up at Jimmy's house only to find Beezy already there.

She couldn't complain too much, though; time with Jimmy was time with Jimmy, and at the very least Beezy couldn't be too annoying while he was stuffing his face. Still, Heloise noted that if she had to dodge any more ballistic food, somebody was getting maimed.

The TV in front of them flickered, replacing whatever had been showing before with a flashy title card. "And now for our feature presentation," an announcer droned on. "...After a word from our number one sponsor, Misery Inc.!"

An advertisement for spike-bristled toothbrushes played, complete with flaming hot sauce toothpaste. Heloise smiled to herself; it was one of her simplest inventions, yet one of the top producers of misery. Jimmy, however, seemed unimpressed. "Sheesh, I already have seven of those," he muttered. "Hey, Beez, pass the popcorn!"

Beezy finally removed his head from the popcorn bucket, gulping down some kernels as he handed the bucket past Heloise. Jimmy inspected it expectantly, only to flip it over with a frown as not a single scrap fell out. "Sorry, dude," Beezy said with a shrug. "Told you we should've made an extra large bag."

"That was an extra large bag," Heloise pointed out.

"And the last one, too," Jimmy moaned, setting the bucket aside.

"Don't worry," Beezy assured them as he eased himself off the couch. "I've got this. Mind if I raid the fridge, Jimmy?"

"No problem," Jimmy said, watching his friend scoot past him into his kitchen. Meanwhile, the dental commercial had ended, swapping to a new one. Heloise and Jimmy watched as Samy showed up onscreen, dressed up for his role as Misery Inc's official spokesgoblin.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "as you all know, that time of year is coming around yet again. Yep, that's right, folks! Misery Hearts Day, the day for all you lovebirds out there… and with a bestselling novel based off it, written by yours truly," the goblin added, brushing his fingers on his jacket.

Suddenly remembering he was still on camera, Samy coughed nervously. "Anyway, folks, no Misery Hearts Day is complete without getting some assorted shock-olates for your sweetheart. Shockolates, the sweet snack with a zesty zap in every bite! There's only a week 'til Misery Hearts Day rolls around, so grab some while you can!"

The commercial went on as Samy sampled the product, receiving a powerful shock as he bit into the treat. Heloise cackled at the sight, but Jimmy just looked on in confusion. "Misery Hearts Day?" he wondered aloud. "What's that?"

Heloise eased out of her laughter, realizing that her friend hadn't been in town long enough to know about the upcoming holiday. Though, to be frank, Heloise hadn't bothered trying to remember it existed in the first place. "It's just some holiday Lucius came up with a long time ago as an excuse to spend more time with whatever girl he was dating at the time. But folks were quick to realize that Lucius was too busy attending to his woman to actively spread any misery, so everyone just uses the day to spend time with their own loved ones now."

Jimmy shrugged. "Eh, doesn't sound like my kinda holiday. Now, Lucius Fools Day, there's a holiday."

Heloise chuckled, leaning back into her seat. "Definitely," she agreed. A good moment passed before the gears finally in Heloise's head finally clicked into high gear as it hit her. This was her chance. Jimmy might be oblivious to how much she liked him, but there's no way he could miss the message if she asked him out now.

"…But that doesn't mean we can't get together and do something, right?" she asked, leaning forward. "You, me, ya know. We can catch a movie or something. Sounds fun, eh?"

Heloise held her breath as Jimmy tapped at his chin. "It sure does," he agreed. Heloise could already feel herself smiling, unable to believe that'd worked. "But I'll have to see if Beezy is up for it. What could be more fun than three friends catching a hit blockbuster together?"

Heloise sunk into her seat, sighing. Once again, she'd underestimated just how blind Jimmy could be. "Yeah, sure. Friends," she mumbled. As disappointed as she was, deep down she wasn't really surprised.

She peeked at the blonde boy out of the corner of her eye, watching him go wide-eyed as the TV advertised some hot new product. She'd liked him for months now, and yet he rebuffed her at every turn by being completely incapable of taking a hint.

Still, Jimmy wasn't entirely to blame. On the few occasions she actually managed to get close to him, Beezy usually wasn't too far away, always ready to steal Jimmy's attention. Heloise just didn't understand. Was she just not pretty enough to catch the boy's eye? …Did her breath reek?

Heloise breathed into her hand discretely, sniffing. Nope, it wasn't that. And yet, there had to be something wrong. She'd tried everything: trying a new look, using strong hints, getting some alone time, using evil scientific inventions. Heck, the closest she'd come was when she'd used Peep, local dumpster-diver extraordinaire, to make Jimmy jealous. Even then, it hadn't gone completely as planned- and you couldn't pay her enough to get her to pretend to like Peep again. What did a girl have to do to get a freakin' date? Use force?

Heloise could practically feel the light bulb click in her head. She was far from the gentlest person, and yet she found herself surprisingly tame around Jimmy. There was only one method she hadn't tried yet: Force.

It was worth a shot. There was still the matter of Beezy to deal with though, as well as some finer details to go over. But if it got her just one nice date with her crush, it'd be worth it. Not wanting to waste a moment of planning, Heloise hopped down off the couch, heading towards the front door.

"Hey, where are ya goin', Heloise?" Jimmy asked, eyeing her quizzically.

Heloise froze, racking her mind for a good excuse. "Uh… I forgot I have some urgent work to deal with," she lied. "Lucius wants the adjustments added to his new tank model and I'm going to need all the time I can get. I'll just tape the movie and watch it later," she said, backing up to the door.

Jimmy watched the girl go, shutting the door behind herself. "Aw," he mumbled. He'd really been hoping to see this movie with his two best pals. But hey, Heloise said she had things to do, and she'd also pitched that awesome suggestion about seeing that sequel later. Plus, at least Beezy was still here.

At least, Jimmy thought he was. The monster been in the kitchen for quite awhile now. Hoping his friend hadn't somehow locked himself in the fridge again, Jimmy got up, striding to the kitchen. "Hey, Beez—sweet corn!"

Beezy was there, alright… stuck to the ceiling and covered in dough. "How'd you get up there?" Jimmy asked, pointing up at his friend.

"Don't worry about it, Jim," Beezy assured him. The monster grunted as he struggled to wiggle free. "It wouldn't hurt if you got me down, though."

"But how did you…"

"A master chef never reveals his secrets!"

After getting a ladder, a giant spatula, and a blowtorch, Beezy was finally free from his sticky situation. Snacks were made, the movie was watched, and good times were had. Jimmy went to bed that night wondering how good the sequel was, as well as if Heloise had managed to get up to date on her work.

The next day, he found out she hadn't. And the next. And the next. He'd give her a call every once in awhile to see if she wanted to hang out with him and Beezy, but she always had an excuse. 'Adding in the thrusters' one day, 'adjusting ammo specifications' the next, and so on.

Five days had passed since their get-together before Jimmy brought it up. He and Beezy had just finished a rousing game of Hacky Smack and were sitting on Jimmy's stoop, discussing what to do next. "Hey, Beez," Jimmy said, "you got any idea what your dad's got Heloise working on? Must be important, since she never works this much."

Beezy shrugged. "How should I know? I've seen her doing some pretty weird things around town, and that's pretty much it."

"You've seen her?" Jimmy repeated. "Weird things?"

"Yeah, dude. Spotted her a couple times while I was out, actually. One time, she was having, like, three truckloads of flour delivered to her house. And when I went downtime," Beezy went on, "I saw her over at La Treestease Door."

"You mean La Tristesse D'or? Isn't that the fanciest restaurant in town?"

"Yeah. I saw her through the glass door, threatening the seater guy with a mace." Beezy shrugged again. "No idea what for, though."

"It definitely sounds like her," Jimmy mumbled. "But why haven't I seen any of this?" he asked, scratching his head. "She's usually not that hard to find. Do you think she's trying to avoid me?"

Beezy raised a hand to respond, only to point behind Jimmy instead. "Looks like we're about to find out."

"Huh?" Jimmy whipped his head around, turning to see Heloise coming down the sidewalk. The girl was fiddling with a strip of measuring tape, coiling it around her arm. "Hey, Heloise!" Jimmy called to her, waving.

Heloise looked up, startled. She looked around in confusion before finally noticing her friends over on the stoop. "Hey, Jimmy!" she called back, jogging across his lawn. "Just the guy I wanted to see."

"Why's thamfmfm?" Jimmy found himself muffled as Heloise wrapped the tape around his mouth. She checked it quickly before writing a few numbers down a notepad and moving on to measuring his wrists.

"Uh… what's this for?" Jimmy asked, watching his friend scribble down some more notes. He shot Beezy a glance, only to get yet another shrug in return.

"Project."

The inventor moved onto his ankles. "You mean the tank?" Jimmy offered.

"…Riiiiight. Lucius wants–hold this to your head and stand, please." Jimmy obeyed, standing at attention as Heloise took his height measure. "Lucy wants a big cockpit," Heloise continued, "and I figured since you're three times his height…"

"Why not measure Beezy then?" Jimmy questioned, gesturing towards the monster beside him.

Heloise scoffed, wrapping the tape around Jimmy's waist. "He wants room for his legs, not room for a whale." She shot a glance at the monster in question, rolling her eyes as the wisecrack sailed right over his head.

After a few more notes, Heloise draped the rape around her neck. "That's everything I need," she stated, waving goodbye as she set off towards her house. "Misery Inc. thanks you for your dedication to ensuring top-tier misery spreads, yadda yadda, catch you guys later."

The two boys watched her go. Soon enough, she was out of sight behind her hedges. "Yep," Beezy said, breaking the silence. "Definitely up to something." He nudged Jimmy, smirking mischievously. "What say we go find out what it is, ol' buddy?"

"It's like you read my mind, Beez!" Jimmy said, tapping his noggin. He froze midpoke, remembering something. "Uh… actually, maybe we should just leave her be. Last time we followed her, the whole town ended up getting torn to pieces. Literally."

"You raise a good point," Beezy admitted, rubbing his chin. "And in rebuttal: we found out she plays with dolls!"

The duo burst out laughing, giggling madly at their friend's old secret. Soon enough, Jimmy sighed, wiping a tear from his eye. "Yeah… still, we should probably let this one go."

"If you say so, dude." Before he could react, Beezy gently jabbed his finger into Jimmy's stomach. "But she's plotting something, mark my words. Well… more than she usually does."

"Or she could just be working extra hard," Jimmy said, pushing his friend's arm away. "Still…" Jimmy looked over at Heloise's house, wondering if Heloise was truly working on what she'd said within its walls. "I am kinda wondering what's going on."

Another couple days passed. Misery's Heart Day had arrived, and Jimmy hadn't seen a trace of his friends all afternoon. Heloise had said she was still busy over the phone, and Beezy simply wasn't home at all. Now, night was falling, and Jimmy was left alone and bored in his house, absent-mindedly flipping through channels. Cerbee laid by his side, dozing away on the couch.

Jimmy yawned, clicking away from another ad for frog flakes. "Well, Cerb, I guess we can all go see that movie some other day," he muttered, scratching his faithful pooch behind the horns.

Knock, knock.

Jimmy instantly brightened up at the sound of the doorbell, knowing that something to break the monotony was waiting just outside his house. "Company!" he squealed, leaping off the couch and racing to his front door.

He yanked it open, looking outside expectantly. His face fell as an empty yard greeted him. He stepped out onto his stoop, scratching his head. "Now who was that?" he wondered aloud.

Snap!

The ground fell away as Jimmy was yanked off his feet. Sinewy netting surrounded him as he was dragged skyward, letting out a startled yelp. He dangled above his porch, directly above the shiny red X someone had painted on it.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" Jimmy shouted, struggling to get a good look through the net.

In response, the net fell. Fast. Jimmy crashed down onto the porch, now dazed as well as trapped. "What's going on?" he groaned, wishing he could rub his aching head.

"Don't worry, you won't be in there for too long."

Jimmy froze. That voice sounded familiar. "Heloise?"

He squirmed around, trying to look towards the voice. Soon enough, he spotted her–though she looked a bit different than usual. She had the same red dress she always wore, but she'd rimmed each sleeve with a rim of roses. More roses decorated her hair, which looked like it'd been crimped.

Heloise, still barely taller than Jimmy despite his current condition, gave a little wave. "Hey, Jimmy," she greeted, waggling her fingers. She gave a little twirl, letting her ponytail whip around as she spun. "What do you think?"

Jimmy blinked. "What, was the florist having a sale?"

Heloise huffed, crossing her arms. "N… yes." She rolled her eyes, her mouth twitching in irritation. "Whatever. Come on," she ordered, grabbing the net, "we're going to be late."

"Huh?" Jimmy grunted as the girl dragged him off his porch and down his sidewalk; he had to admit, Heloise was strong. "Where are we going? And what happened to your project?"

"Uh… finished it. And to celebrate, I figured we could do something. Grab a nice dinner, catch that movie sequel, ya know?"

"Star Swines?" Jimmy smiled, kicking back in his prison and watching Heloise pull him down the road. "Sounds good to me! But isn't Beezy supposed to come along?"

Heloise chuckled, just loud enough to be heard. "Nah. He's a bit… indisposed."

"Noooooo! That heartless, evil creature!"

Beezy shook the bottle some more, praying for a single drop. "She lets me borrow her deluxe pizza maker for the day, but doesn't bother to get more mayo!"

He tossed the empty bottle over his shoulder, listening to it land with a thump over in the mountain of flour sacks Heloise had left for him next to the machine. Turning his attention back to the pie laid out on the counter, he wondered how he'd make do without the perfect condiment.

Heloise grimaced. Helping out anyone, let alone Beezy, made her sick to her stomach. Still…

She glanced over her shoulder, eyeing her catch. Jimmy still laid in the net she'd nabbed him with, humming some unfamiliar tune as she dragged him through the streets. If it kept Beezy out of their hair for just one night, it was worth it. And hopefully worth the month's salary she'd spent on pizza ingredients, too.

"So…" Heloise was drawn out of her thoughts as Jimmy spoke up. "Any chance you can let me out of this thing? I'm pretty sure I've got more than a few pebbles in my underwear."

Heloise stopped, releasing her grip on the net and stretching her aching arms. Pulling Jimmy around was more of a strain than she'd expected, and they'd gotten quite a few odd looks from wandering pedestrians. Their destination was only a couple blocks away, anyway.

"Sure thing, Jimmy," she cooed. "Let's get you out of there so you stretch your legs, shall we?"

She reached for the net's opening, smiling to herself as she untied its knot. She could afford to let him loose for a minute… but not for too long. She was determined to get her great date, and she was going to make sure the boy stuck around.