Day 1 of Faberry Week: Road Trip
This isn't a "road trip" story, per se, but there's a road trip in it. I still say it counts.
The Princess is in Another Castle
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Quinn said with a pout from the passenger's seat.
"Oh, please, Q. It didn't even take any convincing," Santana teased from the driver's seat. Brittany was sitting behind them, bouncing up and down like an excited puppy. "We've only got a few weeks left before summer's over and you haven't gone to visit the midg - "
"She has a name," Quinn glared.
"Fine. Rachel. You haven't gone to visit Rachel all summer."
"I've been kind of busy - you know, with Beth and Shelby, Puck..."
"Yeah, what's up with you and Puck? He's had this weird look on his face all summer whenever he's around you. Kind of like the look he had sophomore year when you and Finn... oh my God! Did you two hook up? I thought you and teen Jesus had a thing."
"What? No! Why would you even ask me that? And look at the road when you're driving. I don't need to be in a second car accident this year."
"It's okay if you did, Quinn. San and I wouldn't judge you," Brittany added from the back seat. "Teen Jesus is a really pretty girl."
"Speak for yourself, B. I'm going to judge her waif-thin butt all the way back to Lima."
Quinn rolled her eyes. She knew that kissing Puck before graduation was a mistake - a lapse in judgement. She was just afraid of not tying up her loose ends before leaving Lima. Kissing Puck was only to make sure that she no longer needed him, or anyone, to love her. She had to love herself first. Then, maybe, if there was any love left, she'd find someone else to share it with.
"Don't worry, I didn't sleep with Puck or Joe. That ship has sailed far, far away. Believe me."
"Good," Santana said with her eyes on the road, as instructed. "Let's keep it that way."
Brittany peeked her head between the front seats. "Can we stop soon? I need to pee."
"Sure, I'm getting a little tired, anyway. Q can drive next."
The girls stopped at a small diner just off of the highway to grab a bite to eat. They were seated by the hostess in a corner booth and handed menus. Brittany ran off to use the restroom and left Quinn and Santana by themselves. They looked at each other over the menus until Santana filled the awkward silence with another awkward question.
"So, you and Berry. At least tell me what that's about. You bought her a metro train ticket and you've been all bum chummy since she wanted to copy your schnoz, which I still think is weird."
Quinn shrugged. She didn't have any answers for Santana. "I don't know. It just got to the point where I was too tired to hate her anymore. So, I just gave up and then - poof, friends."
"... and then - poof, friends," Santana echoed. "Did you know she gave me a picture of herself to put in my locker?"
Quinn quirked an eyebrow. "Really, now?"
"Yep," Santana said as she nodded slowly. "I guess that was our 'poof, friends' moment."
"Cute," Quinn joked. Brittany skipped back to the booth and sat down next to Santana. She picked up her menu, eyeing the kids' section. They had dino nuggets! She loved dino nuggets.
"San, can I get the dino nuggets?" She bopped her head from side to side and Santana melted into a puddle of Latina goo.
"Of course you can, baby."
Quinn smiled at the exchange. She missed hanging out with the other two-thirds of the Unholy Trinity. With college creeping closer and closer, she knew that things were going to change. They'd all move away from each other and even though they'd be in New York - a mere 80 miles away - they would still have their own lives to attend to.
A few minutes later, their waitress came by to take their orders. Santana ordered a cheeseburger, Brittany the dino nuggets and by the time the waitress got to Quinn, they noticed the her smiling and biting the corner of her lip while Quinn stared at the menu as if ordering lunch was the most important decision she would ever make in her life.
"Um, I'll just have the potato and cheese pancakes, please."
"You got it! I'll be back with your drinks." The waitress winked at Quinn and turned around with an extra spring in her step.
"The waitress totally wants to get all up in your pants, Q."
Quinn scoffed. "No, she doesn't. She gets paid to be friendly."
Santana sat back in the booth and smirked her infamous smirk.
"Yeah, she does, Quinn. Our gaydars are perfect," said Brittany as she colored in a brontosaurus on the placemat that the hostess had brought her.
"Well, I think they're on the fritz. She doesn't want... in my pants," Quinn said with a grimace. "We're close to the East Coast. They're just extra nice."
"All right, you keep telling yourself that, Q. Just watch, she'll slip you her number on the receipt."
Just as Quinn was going to argue with Santana, the waitress came by with their drinks. She placed everyone's drinks in front of them. When she put Quinn's strawberry lemonade down, she smiled.
"Put some extra strawberries in there for you."
"Thank you," Quinn replied. She could feel her face flush and knew Santana was stifling her laughter at her from the opposite side of the table. Quinn shot her a look that could kill any normal human being. "Don't. Say. A word."
"I wasn't goi-"
"Not a word!"
The trio sat in silence, with Brittany and Santana stealing glances from one another. Quinn was looking at her phone, trying to keep herself busy until their food came and they could get out of there. About ten minutes passed before the waitress came back with their tray of food. She set down each plate meticulously.
"Did you bring her extra salad, too?" Santana quipped. There was a thud under the table. "Ow! Son-of-a, uh, clumsy me. Banged my knee on the table."
"You should be more careful," Quinn said through gritted teeth. She turned towards the waitress. "Thank you."
"No problem, let me know if you girls need anything else."
"Will do!" Santana said sarcastically, oozing with fake excitement. She waited until the waitress was gone. "Seriously Q, jump all over that."
"I'm going to ignore you and eat my lunch."
"You could be eating someone," replied Santana, laughing at her own joke. Brittany was giggling beside her.
"Oh my God! Really?" Quinn covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. She had never spoken to the girls about the possibility of her being bisexual. It was a recent realization and she wasn't even a hundred percent sure of it herself, but this - Santana and Brittany joking about it at her expense - was absolute torture. Not because it was true, but because the other girls didn't think it was true and thought it was a big joke.
"Look, I colored the velociraptor!" Brittany exclaimed as she showed her placemat to Santana. She giggled. "Raptor."
"Don't ever touch a raptor!" all three girls screamed in unison.
"I haven't seen Lost and Delirious in ages," said Santana. "Remember when we watched it at Britt's house that one summer and her mom walked in on the sex scene?"
"Yeah, that was a little embarrassing," Quinn reminisced.
"She makes me sleep with my door open now. I tried telling her it was Lord Tubbington's movie suggestion, but she wouldn't believe me."
Quinn smiled. She was going to miss these two more than they'd ever know. They were her support system when no one else believed in her. Well, no one else but Rachel, anyway. For some reason, Rachel always thought that Quinn could be someone. Just the thought that she'd see Rachel soon woke up the butterflies in her stomach. They finished their meal and the waitress brought the bill and placed it at Quinn's corner. Sure enough, her phone number was scrawled on the back with Call me, Brooke underneath. Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes. Not wanting to open herself up for more teasing, she just picked up the bill and walked to the cash register with the other two following behind. Luckily, a different middle aged woman was ringing everyone up. At least she wouldn't hit on Quinn.
... would she?
Once Quinn paid for the three of them, she slipped out of the diner quietly, hopefully easing the blow of Brooke's impending rejection by not letting her see Quinn leave.
The girls walked back to the car - Quinn in the driver's seat, Santana and Brittany in the back. They were back on the road in no time. Still three hours outside of New York, they had a lot of legwork to do. Occasionally, Quinn would peek behind her and watch Santana and Brittany cuddle in the back seat. It made her a little jealous being the third wheel again, but it was sweet. Santana was so whipped and Quinn made sure she knew it.
As they passed the Welcome to New York sign, Quinn's heart started beating out of her chest. They were so close. Quinn was almost tempted to turn the car around then and there, and head straight back to Lima. Why was she so nervous? They were just three friends driving a few hours to visit their other friend. No big deal. She could do this.
"Did Rachel give you her address and dorm room number?"
"Yeah, it's in my phone, you can look for it," Quinn replied as she tossed her phone behind her towards Santana's general direction. Santana fiddled with the phone, searched through the text messages from Rachel. There weren't many, but she scrolled through them and found the one where Rachel sent through her address. "Okay, she's in the Rapp building, room 8D." Quinn nodded at her through the rear view mirror and before Santana could hand the phone back to her, her curiousity got the better of her. She continued scrolling through the messages from Rachel and one caught her eye. It was from the day that Rachel would have gotten married to Finn.
Reading "ON MY WAY" made Santana's chest constrict. She remembered getting the phone call that day, hearing that Quinn had been in a car accident. Brittany was at Santana's house and they had driven to the hospital together. When she saw Finn and Rachel there, Brittany had to practically hold her girlfriend back, otherwise she would have scratched their eyes out. She blamed both of them, even though she knew it wasn't their fault. Not really. If they had just been patient and waited until the end of the school year, Quinn wouldn't have had to rush to buy her shoes and speed back to city hall to try to get there on time. It was all so stupid and pointless, considering they never ended up getting married.
Santana could still see Quinn limp every once in a while or wince in pain after sitting down for too long. These were pains and scars that would be with her forever and even though Quinn forgave both of them, Santana still held them partially responsible. Now it was the summer before their first year in college and she knew that Quinn would branch out and discover new people and find herself. That was all she ever wanted for her friend, who had been through more traumatizing events in a few years than any of them would ever go through in their entire lifetime.
Quinn interrupted Santana's over-thinking with, "We're here." They were parked in front of Rachel's dorm room. No one moved a muscle for a good thirty seconds until Santana opened her door and climbed out.
"Let's get this over with," she said. Slowly, Brittany and Quinn followed. Quinn let out a slow breath and rang the buzzer for Rachel's room. An unfamiliar voice greeted them.
"Yes?"
Quinn leaned in closely to the intercom. "Um, hi, we're looking for Rachel."
"Rachel isn't here."
The girls looked at each other, confused. Maybe they should have checked to make sure Rachel was there before they got there.
"What do you mean she isn't there?"
"Uh, I mean she isn't here. No está aquí. The princess is in another castle," she paused. "Sorry."
Quinn turned to Brittany and Santana. "What now?"
Brittany shrugged, but Santana buzzed up to the room again. A more irritated voice answered this time.
"What?"
"Where did she go? We've driven ten hours to come see her and we'd kind of like this to not be a giant waste of our time."
"Look, I don't know. I'm not her keeper. I think she said something about going to watch a play off-campus at the George Gershwin Theatre. It's on west 51st. Can you go now?"
"Wow, San, looks like she could give you a run for your money in bitchiness," Quinn grinned cheekily.
"Shut up," Santana shot back. "No one is dethroning this bitch. Let's go find the theatre."
The girls embarked on their journey to find Rachel. They drove around in circles for about twenty minutes until they finally found the theatre. A marquis that read Wicked was lit up outside.
"Figures she'd come see this," Quinn said nervously. Miraculously, and probably due to some black magic by Santana, they found a parking space. They got out of the car and approached the theatre. Brittany tried opening the door, but it was locked. Quinn found a security guard near the ticket booth.
"Excuse me, was there a show tonight?"
"Yes, ma'am," he replied, "but it's been over for quite some time. If you want tickets for tomorrow's show, you can come back in the morning."
"No, that's okay. I mean, I was supposed to meet a friend here."
"Well, she's probably long gone by now. Sorry, ladies."
Santana sat down on the curb and Brittany joined her. "I knew this was a dumb idea. Why didn't we just call her and schedule this like normal people would do?"
Quinn shot a look at Santana. "What are you talking about? This was your idea. You were the one who dragged me out of my house and said we were going."
"Yeah, and I didn't think Berry would actually have a life and go outside. I thought she'd be all depressed and cooped up in her room, crying and listening to 'All by Myself'. Who knew she'd find people who could tolerate her?"
Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, what now? I don't really want to keep driving around aimlessly. I'm tired and frustrated, and I really just want to go home."
Brittany looked up sadly. "Why don't we call her?"
"No, Britt, it's late. She's probably already got plans for tonight and we didn't bring any money for a hotel room," Santana replied.
"Let's just go. I'll drive first," Quinn said, visibly upset.
Santana and Brittany followed her quietly back to the car. Brittany whispered to Santana, "Should we tell her? She's sad."
"We can't, not yet. C'mon," Santana linked her pinky with Brittany's and they climbed into the back seat. Quinn hadn't said anything to the two of them since the theatre and neither one of them wanted to break the silence in case it broke Quinn instead.
Santana and Brittany fell asleep on each other, heads and necks interlinking like a log cabin and Quinn just drove. Driving was therapeutic in a way. It gave her time to think about where she was going with her life. Yale was a few weeks away, which meant that all of her baggage and her past could be left behind. All of the people she met wouldn't know her or where she came from. They wouldn't know about Beth, about her ex-boyfriends, or about her accident. She could start over.
But she wasn't sure if she wanted to.
The next time she was with a boy - or a girl, for that matter - she would have to explain why she cried whenever she watched a mother play with her daughter. She would have to explain why she wouldn't be able to stand or walk for long periods of time. Most of all, she would have to explain why she could never get too close to anyone out of fear that they would leave her in the end, like her father.
The car pulled into a service station and the passengers in the back stirred. Santana rubbed her eyes and gently shook Brittany awake.
"Do you have to go to the bathroom?" Santana asked her girlfriend.
"Mmmno. Sleepies..."
Santana smiled and brushed a stray hair behind Brittany's ear and got out of the car. She watched Brittany flop down across the seat and closed the door gently. Searching for Quinn, she walked towards the sliding doors and saw her friend browsing the aisles. Santana walked up next to her friend and picked out a few snacks to keep herself awake - sunflower seeds, pretzels, bitter coffee, and energy drinks. Together, wordlessly, they walked up to the cashier and paid for their food and fuel. Santana sat in the driver's seat and Quinn in the passenger's seat, allowing Brittany to sleep behind them.
Santana started driving down the highway. She guessed they were only about halfway there, so she'd have to crack open those energy drinks pretty early on. The silence was deafening, but it was actually Quinn who finally spoke first.
"How did you know?"
Santana looked at Quinn, who was staring straight ahead. "How did I know what?"
"How did you know that you and Brittany were meant to be together?"
"I don't know, Q. I just looked at her one day and everything just kind of clicked into place, you know? Like, I just looked at her and I knew," she said, looking behind at her beautiful, sleeping girlfriend.
"Yeah, but you had only been with guys before her, right? How did you know that you were meant to be with a woman?"
"You mean, how did I know I was a lesbian? How did I wade through the ocean of smelly, immature high school jocks and know that I didn't care for penis?"
Quinn finally looked over at Santana in mild disgust. "Uh, yeah, something like that."
"It's something that you just know, you feel it. Did you ever have feelings for the guys you dated?"
"Yeah, of course, at first, but then the feelings died off and I just felt nothing. I think a lot of it was just the need to be popular and wanted. It was never about mutual attraction."
"Same here," replied Santana. "Why are you thinking about this kind of stuff, anyway? Are you... questioning things?"
"I don't know. Yeah, I guess," Quinn sighed. "I'm scared, San." Santana could hear Quinn's voice crack.
"So was I, but I had Brittany to help me through it. You have us."
"Thank you," Quinn said quietly. "You've always been my family. Even when I had my little moment at the beginning of senior year."
Santana scoffed. "Yeah, that was actually kinda hot, to tell you the truth."
That made Quinn laugh for the first time all day, which, in turn, made Santana smile for the first time in hours. Quinn took another deep breath and looked out the window, watching the street lights pass them by. She counted them up to eighteen - their age - and realized that it was either now or never.
"The thing you have with Brittany... I-I think I want that with Rachel."
The car swerved violently and Santana corrected herself quickly. "Shit, sorry!"
Brittany was shaken awake and shot straight up. "What's going on? Did a UFO crash?"
"No, babe, Quinn's just telling me how she's wanted to get into Rachel's pants this whole time."
That woke Brittany up. She bounced up and down in the back. "That's amazing! Rachel's pants are always so nice and soft. When did you know?"
"I can't really pinpoint when. It was all kind of gradual, but I think it started junior year sometime. I just started seeing her differently."
"I'm really happy for you, Q," said Santana.
"Yeah, well, she doesn't feel the same way. She stuck with Finn up until that dumbass broke up with her before shipping her off to New York."
Brittany leaned forward and put a comforting hand on Quinn's shoulder. "Anything's possible! You just have to be patient and believe in it."
Quinn appreciated Brittany's optimism and innocence, but this wasn't something that she could just will to happen and it would happen. She smiled at her friends, feeling much better than she had felt back in New York. They were almost home and she was absolutely drained. She was looking forward to going straight to bed. That was the things about road trips: the journey there is fun, but you're always ready to go home at the end.
They arrived in Lima and not a minute too soon. Santana pulled up to Quinn's house, which was strange, because it was her car.
"Don't you want me to drop you two off at your houses?" she questioned.
Santana shut off the car engine and leaned her head back into the seat. "Can we just crash here? I'm beat."
"Yeah, of course," Quinn responded as she opened her door and exited. The three of them shuffled into Quinn's house. Quinn walked upstairs and the other two stood at the bottom of the stairs and waited.
Quinn flicked on her bedroom light and there was a brunette figure curled up on her bed. She groaned and turned towards Quinn.
"What - Rachel? What are you doing in my room?"
"It's about time you guys got back. I've been here for hours waiting. Your mother was gracious enough to let me in and feed me."
"Okay, that's nice and everything, but what are you doing here? Santana, Brittany, and I drove ten hours today to visit you and you were here the entire time?"
"I guess you should call next time," Rachel said sarcastically, now sitting on the edge of the bed. Besides, both of them already knew I wouldn't be there."
"What do you mean they knew?" Quinn spat out. She was starting to get angrier and paced around her room. "I can't believe they did this. Why would they drag me out to New York, knowing you wouldn't be there."
"Because," a voice came from the doorway, "you needed time to figure things out and Rachel needed time to prepare."
Quinn sighed. "Prepare what?"
Santana turned off the light and walked back down the stairs to join her girlfriend. Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and led her towards the bed. Both girls sat down.
"Look up," said Rachel. She had stuck some glow-in-the-dark stars on Quinn's ceiling. "I've always wanted to lie outside and look up at the stars with someone, but it was forecasted to be cloudy all weekend, so I had to improvise. I hope you don't mind; I'm sure they come off."
"It's fine," Quinn said nervously. "I won't be here much longer, anyway."
"About that, that's kind of what I came to talk to you about. College is starting soon and I know it's all about finding yourself and making new friends, but honestly, I don't need any other friends. And I know who I am. Quinn, I've gone through my high school years chasing after one boy or another, trying to fit in, and practically begging people to notice me. A-and... you noticed me, you know me better than any guy I've ever been with and you've made me feel like belong. I just... I don't know why it took me this long to realize what all of that meant."
"Rachel... I - "
"Hang on, let me finish. It made me realize that all of these needs for me to fit in stemmed from you, because I wanted your acceptance and your admiration. I wanted to be your friend. And, I'm not sure if it's just friendship that I want and that terrifies me."
A few seconds pass.
"Okay, I think I'm done now."
Quinn took a deep breath, trying to process everything Rachel just told her. She didn't know where to start. She thought Rachel had just told her that she wanted more than a friendship with her, but she wasn't sure if she misheard.
Quinn finally broke the silence. "You know, I've spent the past year trying to convince myself that I didn't need anyone else and that I'd be fine on my own, but I know that isn't true. That's why I bought you the metro ticket. I wanted there to always be the possibility that you'd come visit me, because the only time I've ever not felt alone is when I'm around you. I don't know what it was about driving twenty hours across two states that made me realize what I felt, but it changed something in me. It made me realize that I didn't need anyone - I only needed you. And, maybe, when we take our own road trip one day, we can gaze at real stars in the real sky."
Rachel smiled, cupped Quinn's cheeks, and kissed her forehead gently, "I'd love that."
The girls lay there for hours, talking, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that Rachel had arranged on the ceiling to make a giant star. They looked into each other's eyes. Quinn's princess wasn't in another castle; she was right here in front of her, and this was going to be the beginning of their reign in the East Coast kingdom.