A Three-Dog Adventure
by LDEJRuff
Author's Note: This fanfiction is a midquel to In a Time Without Stewie, and focuses on an adventure that happens around the time Peter and Glen pursue a music carreer.
Chapter 1 - Vinny's Bad Experiences
We begin a couple days after the Griffins have adopted Vinny after he lost his previous owner, Leo, to a yoga accident. Inside the living room, Brian and New Brian were busy watching something on TV. Vinny had removed his collar, was now wearing a white tank top and a grey pair of shorts, and carried a tanning mirror.
"Hey, fellas," Vinny addressed.
"Hey, Vinny," Brian replied before noticing. "Hey, what's with the Summer gear?"
"Oh, I'm about ready to sunbathe," Vinny answered. "You know where I can do it?"
"You can sunbathe in the backyard," New Brian replied. "Quick question, though. Why are you going to sunbathe? Isn't your fur tan already?"
"Yeah, but I'd like to make it the right shade," Vinny shrugged. "I don't want to overdo it, like that time I was in Daytona Beach."
Cutaway: We see Vinny relaxing on a beach towel, and his fur was brown all over. He wore a pair of swim trunks that matched his collar, and a pair of sunglasses. He got up and noticed the color of his fur.
"Ooh," he said in worry. "I knew I should have put my SPF 60 on."
Back to the living room.
"Luckily," Vinny continued, "I kept a bottle of Aloe Vera with me to regain my normal fur color."
"Oh," Brian responded. "Well, good luck out there, Vin."
With that, Vinny went out to the backyard with his tanning mirror.
"You know, New Brian," Brian said to New Brian, "I gotta tell you. We have adopted the right dog. And he does deserve a family."
"I know," New Brian agreed. "He's a lot better than a cat on the roof of a car."
Cutaway: We see a cat resting on the roof of a car, purring.
"Meow," the cat said in a seductive female voice. "This is just what the doctor ordered. I'm enjoying this lovely rest."
Pull back as we see that the car had a face, and was shuddering.
"Ooh," the car whispered. "I sure wish that cat would get off. I can't stand that ******* vibration."
In the backyard, we see Vinny resting on a lawn chair, with the sun's light reflecting on the tanning mirror.
"Oh, yeah," Vinny thought. "It sure is nice to live under the same roof with a couple of other dogs."
There was a rumbling nearby, waking Vinny up. He noticed that the garbage cans were knocked over. He got up and went in that direction, but stopped short to see a skunk digging through the garbage. He then backed away.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he said, getting the skunk's attention. "H-hey, I ain't looking for trouble."
"Well," the skunk chuckled in an African-American accent, "you in the wrong place if you ain't looking for trouble, boy. Nothing but trouble out here. Big old hoot owl come down, scoop you up, take your eye out."
"Okay," Vinny began, "but can you clean up when you're done? Otherwise, it'll start to smell."
"Oh, you don't like smell, huh?" the skunk replied. "Well, sniff on this!"
With that, the skunk sprayed Vinny.
"Hey!" Vinny shouted. "Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey! Oh!"
The skunk chuckled as Vinny ran back inside, covering his eyes. "Yeah, you got that stink all up in ya' now!"
We see Vinny in a tomato-juice-filled bathtub, and talking on his cellular phone, later that day.
"Hey, Ma," he said. "Remember, I told you, one day I'd be swimming in marinara?" Pause. "Ma? Ma, turn down the TV!"
A few days had passed, and after staying outside to get rid of the skunk smell, Vinny was back inside. Anyway, Brian was once again on the couch, reading some sad news on his laptop.
"Oh, my God," Brian feared as Vinny came in.
"What?" Vinny shrugged. "What is it?"
"I can't believe it, Vinny," Brian replied. "Sal Anuncio's kid just got flattened by a falling piano."
"Ohhhh!" Vinny shouted, clutching his chest where his heart is located. "How could this happen?! That kid was an honors student, Brian! He just applied to SUNY Albany!"
"He just went in to SUNY Albany, Vinny!" Brian replied.
"Oh!" Vinny shouted again, once again clutching his chest. "This is too much, B! I can't take it!"
"Does this much bad news give you a heart attack, Vinny?"
"Only the bad news about Italian-Americans, Brian," Vinny replied. "And the only-known remedy is if I hear some good news about 'em!"
"Oh, good Lord," Brian shuddered. "There's gotta be some good news on the web somewhere."
"Hey, Vinny," Chris said, coming in with a smile on his face. "Bobby Lammaduro's kid just got out of the hospital. He beat the cancer!"
"Oh, thank heavens," Vinny said, letting go of his chest, relieved. "Big man in the sky knows what he's doing." With that, he air drew a cross over his chest and walked into the kitchen.
"Wow," Brian whispered to Chris. "Nice save, Chris."
"Thanks, Brian," Chris replied.
"You're more of a big help than a giraffe for an elephant," Brian continued.
The next day, Vinny was in the kitchen, reading a newspaper comic.
"Hey, Doonesbury," he regarded. "How about a joke that ain't for fancy millionaires?"
Pause.
"Hey, Vinny," Brian called from the living room, getting his attention, "can you come into the living room for a few minutes, please?"
Vinny put down the newspaper and went into the living room, where both Brian and New Brian were.
"Hey, fellas," Vinny greeted. "What's going on?"
"Vinny," Brian began, "New Brian and I feel really sorry for what happened to you within a few days ago."
"What are you talking about?" Vinny shrugged.
"We're talking about your bad experience with the skunk the other day," New Brian answered.
"And your heart attack yesterday," Brian added.
"Don't worry, guys," Vinny assured. "It ain't your fault. These things happen."
"Yes," Brian agreed, "but it's things like this that get us in trouble. We're responsible for your safety, Vin, and we feel that we should take the blame."
"That don't matter, Brian," Vinny disagreed.
"It does matter," Brian replied. "Look, I know you lost your owner, but we're trying to make your first days here with us the best. And we pretty much blew it."
"Blew it?" Vinny repeated. "It may sound like the 'Do It' part of your bestselling self-help book, Brian, but neither you nor New Brian blew it. I know you guys are trying your best for me."
"Well, thanks, Vinny," New Brian agreed with a smile.
"We almost lost you, twice, Vinny," Brian continued, "and we'd rather not let that happen to you for real. After all, you're our brother, and we love you."
Vinny chuckled. "Thanks. I love you guys, too."
With that, the dogs huddled together for a group hug.
"Hey, fellas," Vinny continued, "maybe you can answer me something. Why does your living room smell so much like puke? Somebody throw up a lot in there once?"
"I'll tell you about it sometime," Brian simply answered.
"Oh," Vinny replied. "Okay."