Notes: So this is what supposendly happens in the end of 2x20, which means I have to give a few imformation about what happened before.
Nate & Blair decided to try being together again, only for avoiding being alone and not because they love ach other or something. Chuck however isn't sure if Blair still has feelings for Nate or not (he was her love interest for way too many years after all) so he plots with Vanessa in order to make them both jealous. And it works cause Nate & Vanessa hook up again, end of that story. Serena is afraid that Blair might try do something foolish cause she doesn't know either Blair's feelings for Nate, so she invites her to sleep in her room while she's out... doing something (most likely trying to hook up with her ex-boyfriend herself :P). And then there is the Chuck & Blair scene that follows.
The scene is actually a dream I had, so it was hard to convert live image into words but I tried. It's in 3rd person style, but the narrator only knows Blair's POV. I hope it works out for you as it worked for me. Special thanks to my buddy thania for helping me out with a sentence I didn't know how to form and for giving me the idea for something blair said. *hugs*
Okay enough with the notes, let's go to the main dish!
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Blair lies on the bed, still, but with her eyes open, fixed in an invisible spot of the dark void surrounding and suffocating her. How could someone sleep anyway? When blows keep coming one after another diminishing the already small part of the old good Blair she has left?
No, no one could do that; empty their minds, surrender to the sweetness of thoughtless and dreamless sleep and then wake up refreshed and relaxed believing that things could be fixed. Cause they can't. They never will. She's more alone and broken than ever. They pretend to hear but they don't actually listen to her. The only one who managed to get a bit through the bitterness and self-destructive tendencies the new Blair is all about, was Nate; but once again her life doesn't leave her even a little piece of consolation and once again he wasn't really interested in her. Not that she loved him or anything, but he used to be the safe option. Now he wasn't even that. But she didn't deserve it, right? Being a plotting bitch that "everyone hated" isn't exactly the first class ticket to happiness.
"Go away" She suddenly says, her eyes still fixed on the invisible spot.
"You can understand my presence in the ultimate darkness without me making any kind of sound when I walked in, and you still deny our connection?"
"I get a feeling when someone is about to backstab me. Again"
"Yeah, nice one Blair. I see you haven't lost your edge. At least there's still some actual Blair somewhere in there."
"Can't you just leave? What, you want me to start begging you as well?"
"Is it about Nate?"
"I don't even know what you mean. And I don't care. I knew that agreeing to sleep here was a bad idea. Just go"
"Yeah, Serena is quite worried you might try something stupid. My question is, are you like this, because Nate got back with Vanessa? Do you still love him?"
"Will you get out if I answer that?"
"Depends on the answer… Okay, I will"
"No, it's not about Nate, okay? And I don't love him. He just… changed… and he understands the way I feel, and talking to him made me feel better. I didn't want to be alone and he was all screwed up with Vanessa, so we just… fooled around. Like friends… with benefits. The reason I am like that is because I have no idea where my life is going and how I am going to face all the things that happen to me right now. And PS I am not thinking of committing suicide, so you and Serena can back off on the whole "poor-Blair-protection" program. Satisfied?"
"Quite."
"Weren't you supposed to be leaving?"
"Maybe I lied"
"Can't say I am surprised. Lying is among the disappearing, disrespecting, offending and backing off tendencies of yours."
"Say what you will Blair, but in case your memory deceives you, I happen to be one of the few persons around here that try to help you. I am here Blair. I am here for you."
"Like you were here when I got detention for something I did outside of school, when I got kicked out of Yale for revealing an ongoing affair of the new teacher with my best-friend's boyfriend, when I tried to help you overcome your dad's death and you threw me away… You really wanna go there Chuck? Cause the list keeps going on for several minutes."
"Blair…" Chuck says in a low voice, while sitting next to Blair in the bed "I know I haven't been there for you all those times. But you of all people should understand how it is being lost… I am here now. And I am not the Chuck Bass I used to be"
"I am not the Blair I used to be either, as you pointed out the other day. You don't want this version of Blair, Chuck; actually no version of Blair ever seems good enough for you. So why are you here trying-"
"Blair, you never were the problem in our relationship, can't you see that?" Chuck says interrupting her. "I was the one who kept blowing it and drove you away. But you finally got to me. I do have changed Blair. You changed me." He finishes and reaches to touch her arm.
"You want the old Blair, Chuck" she answers abruptly but makes no move to remove his hand. "But she's gone."
"Never say that." He says and pauses for a minute in order to lightly caress her skin. "I know you're confused in this point, but-"
"Confused?" Blair almost screams as she turns to face him. "I don't even know who I am anymore! What I'm supposed to do with my life!..."
"Yale isn't the only college in the US, okay? So you lost this dream of yours, don't allow it to make you lose the rest. You can try with something in the lower scale-"
"Do you know what the problem is? I tried. You think Sarah Lawrence was the only one I tried to get in? Well I've got news for you Chuck, no college Ivy League or not accepts me, no matter how many wings I am willing to build."
"But… they can't, Yale has just too strict policies, there must be a college that will take you with the academic record you have and the-"
"Gosh, even my mother has a college degree." Blair continues as if she didn't listen what he was saying. " And she's a fashion designer. What am I gonna do with my life Chuck? I am screwed and you can stop pretending that there's still hope for me"
"You're Blair Waldorf. You always solve your problems one way or another Blair, you have the means to do so. You're a Waldorf, can you even realize the power that holds to certain people?"
"Well, you know what, sometimes I really wish I wasn't a Waldorf. I wish I could be a Jenny Humphrey. If she fails to get into college, they'll say "it was unfair, at least she tried" and will be proud of her when she will be able to live on her own with the salary of a saleswoman. I can't do that. Failure to get into college in our world leads to social rejection. They don't care if you'll attend it or will throw away your life partying all day long, they just need the proof that you got in."
"Blair, I promise you, we will find a-"
"Why do you even care, Chuck?" Blair says in a sudden outburst, throwing away his hand and getting up from bed. "The only reason you even thought about checking with me those last days was because your male ego was crushed when you saw me with Carter, so why do you keep pretending like you actually care-"
"Because I do Blair." Chuck replies as he gets up from the bed himself. "Because I want to be with you and help you find yourself again so that you stop all this self-destruction. I can't bare it seeing you falling apart, I just can't-"
"Why do you do that?" Blair starts shouting, mad, walking like a maniac up and down the room. "I fought for you, I tried to help you and you never let me, I even said those damn words to you, I said I loved you and I meant it and now you-"
But she never gets to finish, because the moment she turns to face him, she finds herself in his strong grip as he forcefully leads her lips to crush with his. All she knows is she loves him and is tired of playing games, trying to avoid her true feelings. As is Chuck.
When they break the kiss to catch their breaths, Blair has decided that no matter what it might cost her, she's not letting him slip away from her again. He makes her feel whole and makes her major problems seem like nothing. And there's no way she could ever be in a worse state that this last week, so she definitely isn't going to let go.
"I love you" Chuck simply says and gets back to passionately kissing her.
This time, Blair breaks the kiss early. "What did you just say?"
"I said that I loved you. And I truly mean it"
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As they lay in the bed later, Chuck is holding Blair tightly against his chest in a way that shows he doesn't plan on letting go either.
"And what do we do now?" Blair wants to know. He is Chuck Bass after all, no matter how unlike him the previous loving affections were.
"We are being together."
"What strings are attached to your version of together?"
"No strings. And no rules. Whatever we feel like doing we do it. I've lost you too many times to risk it again."
"Whatever we feel like doing?"
"Anything."
"In that case, I'd like to remind you about something, since repetition is mother of all knowledge. I love you too Chuck Bass"
"You better."
"I do. Now, I'm thinking, if you said those words nothing is gonna stop us, right?"
"You can count on it, Waldorf"
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A/N: I hope you liked it! I wish I could draw it or even better shoot it fro you, but writing is all I have :P
Reviews are better than CB together, admiting they love each other! (hardly but anyway)