AUTHORS NOTE: This story is about Sasha and her past life when she was human. There is lesbian relations in this, so be warned. There is some swearing and there will be violence later on.
Past Lives
Stars, moonlight and the near by water fountains made a romantic combination. The warm gentle breeze ticked her hair ruffling the heavy curls. It was delicious. There was a soft sound in the air that was her breathing, as Sasha stared out over the water. Remembering all to clearly that one night. The one time she did something that hurt more then dying had.
Rain had fallen and the world was still, as if holding it's breath and waiting for more. Sasha was dressed in heavy jeans and a sweater, arms crossed and hair loose. She stood on the porch, watching with dark eyes as Raven prepared to leave. Again. It was something Sasha had seen a million times, but never tired of watching. The swift yet careful movements as the girl loaded her saddle bags. The way she checked her bike before swinging her leg over it. Watching her sit on the leather seat and take a moment to adjust to it. It was a beautiful thing.
Raven turned her head and smiled slightly. " Keep looking at me like that and I'll be late."
Sasha blinked and dropped her eyes. Stiffly she stepped off the porch and came over to the bike. It's gleaming body reflected starlight and made the whole scene seem like a dream.
"So you're leaving for good this time?" Sasha asked dryly. Fighting to keep her voice level.
"Seems like." Raven held her helmet in her lap. As if ready to either throw it away and stay or pull it on and disappear for good. " Unless I have a reason to stay?"
Sasha pulled in a breath and looked into Raven's eyes. Dark, deep and holding a thousand secrets. All of which Sasha knew as if they were her own. Raven's black hair was thick and gleamed like the night sky. Even her skin, slightly pale because of the events leading up to this point, glowed with beauty.
The word lodged it's self in her throat. It hurt so much to say, " No."
"Sasha there is no shame in what happened. I know you don't believe me, but there isn't."
"You can say that because that's true for you." Sasha's voice broke and she looked away. Hugging her arms to her even tighter she continued. " That's not true for me."
Raven's hand was cool and soft as it brushed back loose curls. It was a feather against Sasha's cheek as she stared hard at that ground.
"Don't blame yourself." Raven's voice was a soft whisper that chased through Sasha's senses.
Reluctantly she looked up at her and couldn't look away. Starlight flowed through the dark blue eyes and sparkled like a million diamonds. Sasha drew in a breath and tasted the sweet vanilla perfume Raven always wore. The world fell away as she leaned forward and felt the brush of soft lips against her own.
"No." Sasha pushed away and stood back a few feet. Her head swam as she looked anywhere but at Raven. " I hate it when you do that."
Raven laughed softly. " I couldn't help myself."
"You had better go."
Raven sighed gently as she prepared to put on her helmet. "I love you Sasha."
Staring into Raven's eyes, she almost believed her. "No you don't." With that Sasha turned away from her and never looked back.
That had been five years ago and the pain was still fresh, the wound unhealed. Sasha Luna turned to look back into her uncle's house. It was quiet inside save for the whisper of a clock and the passage of time. Five years. It was a blink of an eye for her now. What was five years when you had forever? Sasha looked back into the courtyard and sighed. It was nothing. Her despair raged harder then usual tonight as she struggled with too many things.
Tonight was beautiful and warm in the traditional way. It was a night for being out with your sweetheart, getting lost in love and never coming back. It wasn't a night for sorrow and grief. But it felt as though that was all she had now a days. Just her grief for all the things she had lost. All that in five years. What would it be like in a hundred? No wonder Uncle Julian was such a tight ass. Her mind kept replaying different scenes and taunting her with things lost. But her heart kept aching and it wasn't just for that lost moment in time with Raven, it was for Cash too. As much as she tried to make it, her love for him refused to die. It refused to quit and just disappear. That was the pain that ate at her tonight. It twisted her and cut through her.
"I have to see him." She whispered and knew then that it was true.
Quickly moving through the massive house she made her way to the garage. Her bike rumbled to life when she pressed the button. It felt good to sit here and listen. She had asked Raven once why she just sat there for a moment.
"It's to feel the bike. It may look like a hunk of metal and wires and sure on some level it is. But even metal has to be respected. Taking a moment to appreciate the sound and feel of the machine, isn't going to kill you."
Sasha grinned as the memory played out. Nothing would kill her now. She was dead already. Guiding the beast out of the garage she went through the gates and into the night. Starlight guiding her as she raced toward the Haven.
**
As always the place was filled with Kindred and Human alike. At first Sasha saw members of her own clan and thought of leaving, then she saw Cash. He stood with his right profile toward her and was talking with a member of his Clan. She had forgotten the cut of his features, how sharp and clean they where. He was handsome. As she stood watching him, another night came to her. The night she had walked in here and acted so cool. It was the night she had danced with that son of a bitch Brujah. Just to make Cash jealous and to make him want her. Instead she had gotten a shit load of trouble and it was forever.
Sasha gritted her teeth and pushed into the crowd. Making her way to the bar she sat on a stool and ordered a drink. The bartender knew her and gave her the 'right stuff'. Sasha stared too hard at the bar and twirled the glass in her fingers while she tried to gain her confidence.
"Mind if I sit down?"
"No." Sasha snapped and hunched even further in her on herself.
"It seems to me, that is the only word you know around me."
The scent of Vanilla Fields warmed the air around her. The weight of a presence that was familiar and made her tingle. Sasha turned very slowly to star into dark blue eyes filled with starlight. The full lips that were curled into a joyful grin.
"You should see your face right about now." Raven teased lightly and sipped at her imported beer. Her gaze moving gently over the club. " This is a nice place you've got here. Down right classy."
"It's not mine." Sasha muttered and kicked herself. " I mean, what are you doing here?"
Raven flashed a wicked smile at a few people before turning her eyes back to Sasha. That smile had melted many a hearts and its effect was not lost on some of the club goers. Sasha frowned at Raven.
"Oh alright." Raven faked annoyance and sighed. " I came here to vacation and just happened to hear about this place."
"Vacation?" Sasha arched a brow. "Since when?"
Raven waved her free hand. " Since...a while back."
Sasha shook her head in resignation. Getting a straight answer from Raven was damn near impossible sometimes. Her gaze shifted to Cash and she couldn't help but feel anger. If only he had told her a straight answer.
"You looked pretty pissed at him." Raven remarked as she causally regarded Cash.
He took that moment to look over at them. His eyes showed surprise then concern then nothing. He flicked a glance at Raven and then turned back to his conversation.
"He's cute...I suppose."
"What do you know about it?" Sasha snapped angrily and sipped at her drink.
"Hey, that wasn't called for. Just because I don't like men as intimate partners, does not mean I am blind to them. I can enjoy a good looking man as much as any woman."
Sasha found herself smiling in spite of her mood. " You always did like my choices."
"Only because it made you happy." Raven turned around fully in her seat and looked at Sasha. " He doesn't make you happy."
"No. I mean he used to. But...it's just some things have changed and it's different now." Sasha found herself tripping over her words and shook her head. This wasn't like her at all. Where was the anger, the fire? Where was that rebel-rousing Brujah she had become?
Gazing into Raven's face as she glanced around the club again, answered the question. It wasn't by choice or conscious action, but Sasha was affected by Raven. The way her voice carried and the expressions on her face. The way her hands moved as she tightened her grip on the beer. It was all so amazing. Sasha watched as her lovely face slid into a mask and the emotion disappeared completely.
Sasha blinked and looked around, what was going on? The answer came in the form of a lovely woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes. The similarity in appearance between her and Sasha was uncanny.
"There you are, I looking high and low for you." The girl came up and slid a single pale around Raven's shoulders. Leaning her thin body against Raven as she gazed at Sasha intently.
Sasha instantly hated her and was surprised by her reaction. She moved to stand and got sight of Cash watching her again, there was something on his face. His expression made her pause and then feel strangely warm. He was curious but he was also jealous. Sasha had a very good idea of what was going through his mind at this moment.
Raven stood, cutting off the view of Cash. " It was nice to see you again Sasha."
"You're not leaving already are you?"
The girl leaned forward, as if to warn Sasha off. " Yes we are."
"But Raven we need to talk about a few things. I need your advice on this new bike I want to purchase."
Raven's expression shifted a micro inch, she was trying very hard not to grin. She said nothing as Sasha continued, glancing over at Cash. He was watching more closely now.
"Would it be possible to meet up tomorrow afternoon?" Sasha glanced at the other girl and saw the anger there.
"I don't see why not." Raven said very calmly. "Do you have a place in mind?"
"My uncle's house," Sasha regretted it instantly but couldn't take it back. " Say noon?"
Quickly she wrote down the address on a spare napkin and shoved into Raven's hand. Raven didn't take her eyes off Sasha as she smiled slightly.
"Noon it is."
The girl opened her mouth to complain, but Raven simply kissed her and pulled her away into the crowd. Sasha watched them leave and looked back at Cash. He was frowning slightly, not sure of what to make of it.
In truth, Sasha didn't know either. What had possessed her to endanger Raven this way? Cash and Julian would not take kindly to a stranger in their home. Not right now anyway.
For an instant she had forgotten the reality of her life, now she remembered all to well. Damn it anyway.
Past Lives
Stars, moonlight and the near by water fountains made a romantic combination. The warm gentle breeze ticked her hair ruffling the heavy curls. It was delicious. There was a soft sound in the air that was her breathing, as Sasha stared out over the water. Remembering all to clearly that one night. The one time she did something that hurt more then dying had.
Rain had fallen and the world was still, as if holding it's breath and waiting for more. Sasha was dressed in heavy jeans and a sweater, arms crossed and hair loose. She stood on the porch, watching with dark eyes as Raven prepared to leave. Again. It was something Sasha had seen a million times, but never tired of watching. The swift yet careful movements as the girl loaded her saddle bags. The way she checked her bike before swinging her leg over it. Watching her sit on the leather seat and take a moment to adjust to it. It was a beautiful thing.
Raven turned her head and smiled slightly. " Keep looking at me like that and I'll be late."
Sasha blinked and dropped her eyes. Stiffly she stepped off the porch and came over to the bike. It's gleaming body reflected starlight and made the whole scene seem like a dream.
"So you're leaving for good this time?" Sasha asked dryly. Fighting to keep her voice level.
"Seems like." Raven held her helmet in her lap. As if ready to either throw it away and stay or pull it on and disappear for good. " Unless I have a reason to stay?"
Sasha pulled in a breath and looked into Raven's eyes. Dark, deep and holding a thousand secrets. All of which Sasha knew as if they were her own. Raven's black hair was thick and gleamed like the night sky. Even her skin, slightly pale because of the events leading up to this point, glowed with beauty.
The word lodged it's self in her throat. It hurt so much to say, " No."
"Sasha there is no shame in what happened. I know you don't believe me, but there isn't."
"You can say that because that's true for you." Sasha's voice broke and she looked away. Hugging her arms to her even tighter she continued. " That's not true for me."
Raven's hand was cool and soft as it brushed back loose curls. It was a feather against Sasha's cheek as she stared hard at that ground.
"Don't blame yourself." Raven's voice was a soft whisper that chased through Sasha's senses.
Reluctantly she looked up at her and couldn't look away. Starlight flowed through the dark blue eyes and sparkled like a million diamonds. Sasha drew in a breath and tasted the sweet vanilla perfume Raven always wore. The world fell away as she leaned forward and felt the brush of soft lips against her own.
"No." Sasha pushed away and stood back a few feet. Her head swam as she looked anywhere but at Raven. " I hate it when you do that."
Raven laughed softly. " I couldn't help myself."
"You had better go."
Raven sighed gently as she prepared to put on her helmet. "I love you Sasha."
Staring into Raven's eyes, she almost believed her. "No you don't." With that Sasha turned away from her and never looked back.
That had been five years ago and the pain was still fresh, the wound unhealed. Sasha Luna turned to look back into her uncle's house. It was quiet inside save for the whisper of a clock and the passage of time. Five years. It was a blink of an eye for her now. What was five years when you had forever? Sasha looked back into the courtyard and sighed. It was nothing. Her despair raged harder then usual tonight as she struggled with too many things.
Tonight was beautiful and warm in the traditional way. It was a night for being out with your sweetheart, getting lost in love and never coming back. It wasn't a night for sorrow and grief. But it felt as though that was all she had now a days. Just her grief for all the things she had lost. All that in five years. What would it be like in a hundred? No wonder Uncle Julian was such a tight ass. Her mind kept replaying different scenes and taunting her with things lost. But her heart kept aching and it wasn't just for that lost moment in time with Raven, it was for Cash too. As much as she tried to make it, her love for him refused to die. It refused to quit and just disappear. That was the pain that ate at her tonight. It twisted her and cut through her.
"I have to see him." She whispered and knew then that it was true.
Quickly moving through the massive house she made her way to the garage. Her bike rumbled to life when she pressed the button. It felt good to sit here and listen. She had asked Raven once why she just sat there for a moment.
"It's to feel the bike. It may look like a hunk of metal and wires and sure on some level it is. But even metal has to be respected. Taking a moment to appreciate the sound and feel of the machine, isn't going to kill you."
Sasha grinned as the memory played out. Nothing would kill her now. She was dead already. Guiding the beast out of the garage she went through the gates and into the night. Starlight guiding her as she raced toward the Haven.
**
As always the place was filled with Kindred and Human alike. At first Sasha saw members of her own clan and thought of leaving, then she saw Cash. He stood with his right profile toward her and was talking with a member of his Clan. She had forgotten the cut of his features, how sharp and clean they where. He was handsome. As she stood watching him, another night came to her. The night she had walked in here and acted so cool. It was the night she had danced with that son of a bitch Brujah. Just to make Cash jealous and to make him want her. Instead she had gotten a shit load of trouble and it was forever.
Sasha gritted her teeth and pushed into the crowd. Making her way to the bar she sat on a stool and ordered a drink. The bartender knew her and gave her the 'right stuff'. Sasha stared too hard at the bar and twirled the glass in her fingers while she tried to gain her confidence.
"Mind if I sit down?"
"No." Sasha snapped and hunched even further in her on herself.
"It seems to me, that is the only word you know around me."
The scent of Vanilla Fields warmed the air around her. The weight of a presence that was familiar and made her tingle. Sasha turned very slowly to star into dark blue eyes filled with starlight. The full lips that were curled into a joyful grin.
"You should see your face right about now." Raven teased lightly and sipped at her imported beer. Her gaze moving gently over the club. " This is a nice place you've got here. Down right classy."
"It's not mine." Sasha muttered and kicked herself. " I mean, what are you doing here?"
Raven flashed a wicked smile at a few people before turning her eyes back to Sasha. That smile had melted many a hearts and its effect was not lost on some of the club goers. Sasha frowned at Raven.
"Oh alright." Raven faked annoyance and sighed. " I came here to vacation and just happened to hear about this place."
"Vacation?" Sasha arched a brow. "Since when?"
Raven waved her free hand. " Since...a while back."
Sasha shook her head in resignation. Getting a straight answer from Raven was damn near impossible sometimes. Her gaze shifted to Cash and she couldn't help but feel anger. If only he had told her a straight answer.
"You looked pretty pissed at him." Raven remarked as she causally regarded Cash.
He took that moment to look over at them. His eyes showed surprise then concern then nothing. He flicked a glance at Raven and then turned back to his conversation.
"He's cute...I suppose."
"What do you know about it?" Sasha snapped angrily and sipped at her drink.
"Hey, that wasn't called for. Just because I don't like men as intimate partners, does not mean I am blind to them. I can enjoy a good looking man as much as any woman."
Sasha found herself smiling in spite of her mood. " You always did like my choices."
"Only because it made you happy." Raven turned around fully in her seat and looked at Sasha. " He doesn't make you happy."
"No. I mean he used to. But...it's just some things have changed and it's different now." Sasha found herself tripping over her words and shook her head. This wasn't like her at all. Where was the anger, the fire? Where was that rebel-rousing Brujah she had become?
Gazing into Raven's face as she glanced around the club again, answered the question. It wasn't by choice or conscious action, but Sasha was affected by Raven. The way her voice carried and the expressions on her face. The way her hands moved as she tightened her grip on the beer. It was all so amazing. Sasha watched as her lovely face slid into a mask and the emotion disappeared completely.
Sasha blinked and looked around, what was going on? The answer came in the form of a lovely woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes. The similarity in appearance between her and Sasha was uncanny.
"There you are, I looking high and low for you." The girl came up and slid a single pale around Raven's shoulders. Leaning her thin body against Raven as she gazed at Sasha intently.
Sasha instantly hated her and was surprised by her reaction. She moved to stand and got sight of Cash watching her again, there was something on his face. His expression made her pause and then feel strangely warm. He was curious but he was also jealous. Sasha had a very good idea of what was going through his mind at this moment.
Raven stood, cutting off the view of Cash. " It was nice to see you again Sasha."
"You're not leaving already are you?"
The girl leaned forward, as if to warn Sasha off. " Yes we are."
"But Raven we need to talk about a few things. I need your advice on this new bike I want to purchase."
Raven's expression shifted a micro inch, she was trying very hard not to grin. She said nothing as Sasha continued, glancing over at Cash. He was watching more closely now.
"Would it be possible to meet up tomorrow afternoon?" Sasha glanced at the other girl and saw the anger there.
"I don't see why not." Raven said very calmly. "Do you have a place in mind?"
"My uncle's house," Sasha regretted it instantly but couldn't take it back. " Say noon?"
Quickly she wrote down the address on a spare napkin and shoved into Raven's hand. Raven didn't take her eyes off Sasha as she smiled slightly.
"Noon it is."
The girl opened her mouth to complain, but Raven simply kissed her and pulled her away into the crowd. Sasha watched them leave and looked back at Cash. He was frowning slightly, not sure of what to make of it.
In truth, Sasha didn't know either. What had possessed her to endanger Raven this way? Cash and Julian would not take kindly to a stranger in their home. Not right now anyway.
For an instant she had forgotten the reality of her life, now she remembered all to well. Damn it anyway.