~ Kisa's Perspective ~
When I look around the room, I see nothing for me. There are desks placed in a circlular fashion around the perimeter of the room. Each desk seated a student. We're all the same age, all the same grade, but we are not alike.
I am the tiger.
When I gaze around the room, trying to see the people's faces, I only see their outlines. Dark shapes which could move around and talk to one another, but never me. We are different. Even though we are all human beings, we do not seem to share the same beliefs. In this classroom, it almost seems like I do not belong. I do not understand the words they say, even though they are in simple Japanese which I should know. The words that are said in this room by the people who judge me just filter through my ears like they are mumbling.
I'm cursed.
The bell rings, and the voice of the teacher dismisses us. The other children are noisy, and quickly rush past the doors leading to the playground. As usual, they would go into small groups and play until recess was over. Slowly, I followed them out the doors to the cloudy day that was waiting for me.
The spirits of the Juunishi runs through my family's blood; this I can tell no one. I have the tell-tale signs, just by looking at me. My features are not normal like the other kids. I have dark orange hair and startling cat like eyes. ...I think I scare people, maybe even my own mother. I don't want her to be scared of me. This is why I cannot tell a soul. They will all hate me, for sure. People who find out end up having to have their memories erased, I don't want people to have their precious memories taken away from them.
The kids in my class would often make fun of me at any chance they could. They would point out all my faults. It tore at my insides. There's nothing I can do about it, I didn't decide to be the tiger.
"Don't talk to Kisa-chan!"
"She is strange, ne? Do you see Kisa-chan's stare?"
"Just ignore her."
As always, all the children were already playing their games. Energetic baseball games, friendly skipping matches, or just playing house. They were all laughing and having fun. I stand by the door, leaning against the wall. I stand and merely watch the second hand on my watch tick by. 1:46 PM. Recess would be over in just fourteen more minutes. I sigh lightly. A group of girls were standing near me talking in a circle. They were always together everyday. Once in a while, I could hear my name said in the crowd within the murmurs. I sat down against the wall, and burry my face in my arms. I don't want to hear anymore.
"I wish Kisa-chan wouldn't be sitting so close to us," a girl with light brown curls laughs. "I hope Kisa-chan would never speak to us." Another girl agrees with a giggle. "She's so strange. Let's pretend she doesn't exist, okay guys?"
I did not look up. I just kept my eyes closed. It wouldn't be much longer until I could go home. Once the bell rings, I stand up and wait for everyone to go inside before me. I know that if I walk towards them, they will say nothing. The silence will burn into me, I just know that it will hurt more than their words ever could.
* * * * *
Inside the classroom, I sat down at my desk, and listened to the teacher telling us about a project we would be working on in groups.
"Who do you want to work with, Kisa-chan? You can choose your group first." the teacher smiled at me.
I looked down and stared at my desk, tracing the wood ring pattern on the desk with my finger. I don't want to be heard. I don't want to say. "I..." I didn't say anything.
The teacher waited a few seconds for me to continue, but she went on to the next person. I sat and listened until the end of class, watching everything, but not saying a word.
The bell rang at the end of class, and I stood up to leave. Before I could put my books in my backback, my teacher asked me another question. "Kisa, are you alright? Why didn't you answer me earlier?"
I was silent for a minute. I looked at the ground, avoiding her eyes. I glanced up quickly, but she was still waiting for me. She had a persuasive smile on her face, trying to make me feel better. I know she doesn't understand. She could never understand. Most of the class had already left, but a few wanted to see what I would say. From behind me, I heard the girl with the light brown curls whisper, "Now she's even acting strange with the teacher. That Kisa-chan...." I shivered when she said my name.
"I don't want them to hear me," I said in a low voice, the whisper barely rolling off my tongue. Before she could say a word back to me, I grabbed the books from my desk and ran out of the room. Out of the school. I ran on the pavement, my feet hitting the cement with a hollow sound. I didn't pay attention to my surroundings, the world seemed to loom over me today. I felt smaller than usual.
"Oi..." A young man's voice interupted my thoughts. I nearly ran into him, but I stopped right in time. I looked up to see the tall figure of Sohma Hatsuharu looking down at me. "Kisa-chan, what's wrong?" His usual blank expression had a different look on it than usual. A caring glint in his eyes, possibly. "You okay?"
I didn't say a word. I closed my eyes, and just leaned against him for a few minutes. I wanted to cry, but I held back my tears. I know...Hatsuharu is just like me. Just like me, he carries the burden of Juunishi's curse. He would understand, he also looks different, I have features of the tiger, and he has features of the cow. I know this can't be stopped. We, the Juunishi, are plagued with this curse, and there is little chance of anything stopping it. Haru said nothing. He didn't ask anything of me, he simply patted me on the head, and offered to take me home.
I nodded, and took his hand as he led me home.
I know that Haru wants to help me, but he already has the ability to help himself. If anyone pushes him around, he doesn't take their punishment. He doesn't take anything, he'll throw it all back at them with Black Haru's anger. I almost want to be like that; I don't want people to push me like they do, but I can't say anything back. Nothing I say helps, everything becomes worse when I try to speak what I feel.
These people don't accept me.
These people fear me.
We walked in silence, but I couldn't stop thinking. Everything at school, the bullies, the teacher, the people who watched me. It made me feel feared, it made me feel unwanted. As I walked, a few stray tears rolled down my cheeks. I suddenly stopped walking, and beside me Haru stopped and waited for me. I felt my insides become weaker as my urge to cry everything out of my system grew. I felt so weak, and I transformed into the tiger.
I'm sorry, Hatsuharu-san.
* * * * *
He knew. He scooped her up in his arms and said, "I understand." He knew that the fact that other Juunishi would accept her wasn't enough for Kisa. She did not feel accepted in her small little world. He had felt this too, previously, but something had changed and it made his overall mood feel lighter.
Honda Tohru. She understood each and every person in the Sohma family, and she had become a part of his family. Kisa needs someone like her. "I will take you to someone I know, Kisa," he said to the almost sleeping tiger in his arms. I'll let you meet Tohru-san. You'll feel better, I promise."* * * * *
Author Notes:
woot, that was the first part of Acceptance! I hope you liked what you've read so far. I'm planning on concluding this tiny story really soon. Just as a side note, I wasn't trying to connect Haru and Kisa romantically, just as more of a understanding eachother kind of way. ^.~
The last paragraph is in Haru's perspective since it didn't sound right in her perspective. XD Erm, yes. ^_^
I'm not sure if I should just end it like this or add something to tie up some loose ends...I may add some things about Hiro and Kisa, since it's a sad part of FB, but who knows. ^^ Please review with any comments, this is my first Furuba fan fic!
Annnnd of course, I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction.