"Tell me about it" Willmore sighed.
Agent Reyes was on her way to agent Chopstix office to discuss a case involving an agent
Daizypopp when she suddenly remembered that her casefile had been left in her locker. She turned
back from the direction she was heading in and down a hall to the right until the locker hall
came into view. Reyes took her patent shoes travelling along the hall until she came to the
row in which her locker was situated in. She dashed to locker 26 and began to fiddle in her
bag in search of her locker key.
"This has to be the worst case yet" Doggett grumbled
Reyes stopped when she suddenly heard a familiar voice from the other side of the lockers, was
that Doggett?
"Mine too" Agent Willmore's voice agreed, Reyes found her key and began to open her locker
whilst listening in on their conversation at the same time.
"It's like this morning" Doggett began, "I was styling my hair in the mirror when I reached out
for my perfume instead of hair gel"
Perfume? Reyes thought, *His* perfume?
"Tell me about it" Willmore agreed as he tilted his shoe to allow a small pebble to travel to the
ground, it had been annoying him all morning, "I was washing off my mascara last night when I
reached into my bag for some soap and pulled out my powder puff instead" He added as he quickly
placed his shoe back onto his foot.
Mascara? Powder puff? Were Doggett and Willmore secret cross-dressers? Reyes pondered on the
thought when suddenly her locker key fell from her grasp and crashed to the floor.
Doggett looked at Willmore in shock and horror when he heard a strange clashing sound from the
other side of the lockers. Had someone heard their conversation? Had there been an agent snooping
who would now get the wrong idea?
Suddenly a locker on the other side of the row slammed shut followed by the sound of some shoes
running off in a fast motion.
"What was that?" Willmore asked
"I think someone was listening" Doggett said sadly
"Great, now we'll be the talk of the bureau" Willmore said with the same amount of sadness.
WOMENS SOCIETY MEETING
Doggett waved his arms around in a floaty manner as he tried to pretend he was feeling
vibes due to his 'psychicness'.
"What do you feel Macey?" A woman asked with interest
"I feel...er...a presence" Doggett said, "This place has many ghosts"
"Are you sure?" Someone asked
"Er...yes"
"Well I don't feel anything" The person replied
"Well...er maybe I just need more time" Doggett said as he dropped his floaty arms to his side,
"Okay thankyou Macey" Grace said
Doggett quickly rushed back to his chair when suddenly he forgot about his shoes. His foot
suddenly bent to one side, his leg jerked out and he suddenly saw the ground coming closer and
closer,
"Aaaah" He squealed and his body collapsed to the floor in a heap,
"Dog...Macey!" Willmore called, what if his wig came off? What if he had now given some kind of
clue to their real identities?
"I...I'm fine" Doggett said from his position on the floor, Willmore rushed over and grabbed his
arm and pulled him to his feet.
"Er...I'm fine" Doggett repeated with embarrassment, he quickly rushed over to his chair and
took a seat whilst simultaneously wishing that the ground would open up and swollow him whole.
"Er...back to the meeting" Grace said as she gave Doggett a dirty look, clearly not happy with
the actions of the 'woman', she had rudely farted the day before and now fallen in an unsavoury
stuper to the floor.
"Well I remember the first time I had a ghostly feeling" A woman began as she suddenly launched
into a talk about her beginning as a clairvoyant.
Grace looked over to Macey in an ungraceful manner, she certainly wasn't happy with her actions.
Suddenly she caught sight of a large ladder in Macey's tights, probably from her fall but on
closer inspection Grace noticed a large gathering of hair petruding through the hole. Disgust
filled her mind and vision as she eyed the black hairs with a grimace.
Doggett sat still embarrassed by his departure to the ground in such a manner, he looked over
to Grace to suddenly see her looking at him in a strange manner. Only she wasn't looking directly
at him but at his leg. Doggett quickly followed her gaze to find a ladder in his black tights,
was she looking at his hole? He quickly moved his dress around and placed it over the hole.
THAT NIGHT
Doggett opened the fridge door with sadness, he still hadn't had time to do his shopping,
he looked over at the stale milk and one egg in the compartment of the fridge door. His stomach
suddenly rumbled and he knew it was time for action, he instantly made the decision to order
a pizza or two and two large bottles of coke.
"Pizza?" He asked Willmore who stood admiring Doggett's CD collection
"Sure" He agreed. Suddenly a hefty knock intruded the door, it wasn't like Scully's knock Doggett
instantly concluded and it certainly wasn't Willmore's because he was already there. Doggett
realised that the knock was infact the sound of Skinner's knock but it couldn't be, afterall he
was on vacation. Who could possibly be knocking at such an hour?
"Are you gonna get that?" Willmore asked in wonderment as to why Doggett was in a dream world
"Er...yeah" Doggett said as he snapped out of his thoughts. He took his body over to the door
at a fast pace and yanked it open with speed. Indeed the knock did belong to Skinner,
"Sir?" Doggett questioned in confusion as the man stood shivering on the doorstep
"Well? Are you going to let me in agent Doggett?" Skinner asked with rudeness, Doggett suddenly
noticed a small suitcase clutched in Skinner's hand. This instantly spelled trouble.
"Well..." Doggett pulled the door back
"I shall be staying with you for a while agent Doggett" Skinner informed as he stepped into the
house
"Weren't you on vacation sir?" Doggett asked as he closed the door behind the assistant director
"Yes, I decided to return earlier than planned agent Doggett, is that alright with you?" Skinner
bitched with sarcasm,
"Er...sure"
"Only when I got home, my electricity had been cut off, I rang them and they tried to feed me
some story about me not paying my bill" Skinner said in an angered manner, "What is the world
coming to?"
Doggett thought that maybe the electric company was right, maybe Skinner didn't pay his bill,
afterall he was currently the victim of a mid-life crisis and was very forgetful about things.
"Oh, well your welcome to stay here" Doggett sighed, the last thing he wanted was for Skinner
to stay in his house. Doggett suddenly thought about his latest case, Skinner knew nothing of
the case and Doggett wanted to keep it that way. How would he and Willmore leave the house in
their clothes without him seeing?
"Hey Mr Skinner" Willmore said as he greeted the assistant director
"What? What are you doing here?" Skinner bitched
"I er...my house flooded" Willmore lied
"Well where am I supposed to sleep?"
"You can have the sofa sir" Doggett said, "Willmore has the spare room"
"What? You expect me to sleep on a grubby sofa agent Doggett?" Skinner bellowed, "I er...have a
bad back" He lied
"You do?"
"Yes, so I'll have your bed agent Doggett"
"Well...er..."
"Well thats settled then, whats for dinner?" Skinner asked as he removed his coat and made
himself at home.
"Pizza" Doggett sighed now troubled with more problems adding to his depression.
NEXT MORNING FBI HEADQUATERS
Doggett made his way down from the canteen with his pink-iced doughnuts encased in a
small brown paper bag neatly clutched in his hand along with a cup of espresso coffee.
He pushed through some swing doors and suddenly saw Skinner standing by a vending machine
desperately trying to retrieve some money that was clearly stuck. Doggett froze in shock, what
was he doing in work? He was supposed to be off all week, he had been in bed when he and Willmore
had left for work that morning. Had Kersh already informed him of the case?
Skinner angrily kicked the machine with his foot and made a strange angry growling noise, an
agent appeared at the other end of the hall. Doggett recognised it to be an agent not too
popular at the bureau, agent 'big mouth' Tygafiet. He was known as the grass of the building and
nobody dared trusting him with anything, he made his way over to Skinner,
"Need some help?" Agent Tygafiet said as he aproached the assistant director,
"NO!" Skinner yelled, "I can take care of things myself!"
"Er...sorry" Agent Tygafiet said with a shocked voice, he looked over and saw Doggett standing
by the swing doors at the end of the corridor,
"Hey there Dog" He called with a cheery wave.
Doggett flinched, Skinner was bound to turn around, without a second thought Doggett spotted a
cupboard with a yellow door to his left. He dashed over, yanked it open and jumped inside amongst
all the mops and cleaning utensils in a split second.
"Huh?" Skinner spun around to see the hall empty,
"Is that supposed to be funny agent Tygafiet?" Doggett heard Skinner ask in his angered tone
"But he is there, he...he went in the cupboard" Tygafiet replied, confused at Doggett's actions
Oh no, Doggett thought, what would he do now? Skinner would know he was hiding and demand to know
why. How could he explain that it was because of his embarrassment about his latest case?
Agent Tygafiet and his big mouth, Doggett thought with anger.
Some loafer shoes tip-tapped swiftly down the hall and stopped, the handle to the cupboard moved
around a little until the door opened, a head suddenly peered around the door.
"Agent Doggett?" Skinner asked
"Oh...er sir" Doggett said
"What the hell are you doing in there?"
"It looks like he's hiding" Agent Tygafiet pointed out
Doggett hated agent Tygafiet, he was living up to his reputation of being the number one grass at
the bureau.
"Are you hiding agent Doggett?" Skinner asked
"Er...no"
"Well? what then?"
"Er..." Doggett thought hard, "I er...just thought I'd help out a bit and do some cleaning, I
was looking for a mop" Doggett quickly blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
Skinner's hand found its way into the cupboard and gripped onto Doggett's suit jacket before
tugging him out into the corridor.
"Are you lying to me agent Doggett?" Skinner asked with rage, "Because I find it hard to believe
that 'you' of all people would actually 'want' to do some cleaning at your place of work"
"Er...I'm not lying sir, I just felt a bit bored" Doggett said as he looked at Skinner's fierce
face, he clearly wasn't in a good mood on this particular day.
"Bored?" Skinner asked with rage, "You are bored?"
"Er...yes sir" Doggett replied
"But you haven't even been to your office yet agent Doggett"
"I was..."
"Don't you have any cases to do?" Skinner asked
"Er..."
"Because agent Kersh said that you and Willmore have been assigned to one together"
"He did? Is he still here?" Doggett asked
"Yes but I am now in charge of your investigation so bring me your papers after lunch" Skinner
ordered
"You mean, you know about our case?" Doggett asked
"No thats why I need to see your papers" Skinner said giving Doggett a look as if he was dumb.
"Oh...right of course" Doggett said, "After lunch"
Skinner gave Doggett a bitchy look before wondering off back to the vending machine.
DOGGETT'S OFFICE
Doggett dashed into the room, he looked around for Willmore but saw the strange vision
of Scully seated at her desk instead.
"Scully?"
"Oh good morning" She replied with a smile
"What are you doing here?" He cacked
"I decided to come back to work today, I heard Skinner's back too" She said as she typed away
on her computer,
"But...wheres Willmore?"
"He went to the toilet" Scully replied, "Whats the emergency?"
"Er...nothing"
"I heard about your case" She said, Doggett suddenly felt a sickly feeling in his stomach, "Me
and Willmore have been talking all morning" She said with a smile at her wonderful morning with
Willmore.
"He told you?"
"Yes, it must be hard for you both" She said
"You mean, you don't find it funny?" Doggett asked
"No, why would I find cake theft funny?" She asked with confusion
"Er...cake theft?" Doggett questioned
"Yeah, he told me all about how you have to pretend to be waitors at Moppertopps" She said
"Oh...right" Doggett said. He was glad she didn't know of their case, he quickly made his way
over to his desk and took a seat.
AFTER LUNCH
Doggett and Willmore made their way to Skinner's office, they had a plan. They had sifted
through some old files and found an unsolved case, their plan was to pretend that it was the case
they were doing, all they had to do was change the date and fake Kersh's signature.
Doggett reached his hand out to the door,
"Ready?" He asked Willmore nervously
"Yep" Willmore replied with a deep breath, Doggett proceeded to knock on the door.
"Come in" Skinners voice called. Doggett pushed the door open and the two agents strolled inside.
Skinner stood looking out of the window with a some sort of paper object at hand, he turned to
look at his visitors and Doggett recognised the object to be a christmas card.
"Agent Doggett, agent Willmore" He said, "What brings you to my office?"
"The case sir" Doggett replied,
"Oh, right" Skinner said as he menouvered over to his desk and placed his christmas card onto it,
"Er...so how did you sleep last night?" Willmore asked in an attempt to make conversation in
the icey atmosphere,
"What? Why do you want to know agent Willmore?" Skinner replied angrily
"Er, just asking sir"
"Well I slept fine, I came to work, I lost some cash in the vending machine and now I have
recieved a christmas greeting from someone I hate" He said as he motioned to his christmas card
Doggett and Willmore exchanged confused expressions,
"Well...here's the case sir" Doggett said as he strolled over and handed Skinner the file
"Oh, right" Skinner sighed, he snatched the file, "You may leave" He said rudely
"Oh, okay" Doggett said with surprise, he made his way to the door and pulled it open. He heard
the sounds of Skinner opening the file and suddenly felt the need to dash from the office with
incredible speed,
"Hold it agents" Skinner suddenly called.
Doggett and Willmore stopped in their tracks, exchanged scared faces and gulped with fear, had
he noticed that the file was old? Could he tell by the large, messy streak of tipex crossing
out the old date? Doggett turned back to face Skinner,
"Yes sir?" He asked
"I forgot to give you these" Skinner replied as he pulled his desk drawer open, Doggett and
Willmore sighed with relief, Skinner produced two white envelopes, "As you can see agent
Doggett, I have my cards ready early this year"
"Oh...so do I" Doggett lied, suddenly feeling the need to compete with Skinner, "I just forgot
to bring them to work today"
"Thats strange, I didn't see any cards lying around your house agent Doggett" Skinner pointed
out as he walked over holding out the cards,
"Oh...actually I think I left them in the car" Doggett lied, he instantly hatched a plan to
purchase some cards after work and hand them out in an attempt to get his around before Skinner.
Doggett and Willmore took their cards,
"As you will see, they are of the expensive variety" Skinner said smugly
"Er, so are mine" Doggett said
"Yeah, well thanks sir" Willmore said, "Better get back to work"
"Yeah" Doggett agreed
"Wait, aren't you going to open them?" Skinner asked, "It would be rude of you to not open a
card when it has been given to you by a colleague" He bitched
"Oh, right" Doggett sighed. He and Willmore tore open the envelopes to find a card inside,
Doggett's had a large santa on his sleigh with a sack of presents whilst Willmore's had a
large picture of Rudolf and a snowman. Doggett opened his card to find a neatly written message
in gold marker pen.
"As you can see I used my best pens" Skinner said with a smirk
"Yeah...I used my pen with gold *and* silver ink" Doggett lied
"Well, I look forward to recieving my card agent Doggett" Skinner said with a hint of sarcasm.
"Yeah, well better be going" Willmore said as he dissapeared out of the door followed by Doggett.
THAT NIGHT
Skinner drove down the street with anger and speed. He had had three agents complaining
of Doggett and Willmore acting strange. Scully had been the first telling of how she found some
shoes and make-up in Doggett's kitchen, then Reyes had came to tell of how she had heard
Doggett and Willmore talking about make-up behind some lockers. The third to come was agent
Tygafiet discussing the incident with the cupboard that Skinner himself had witnessed.
Skinner wanted to know exactly what was going on, he pulled the car up outside Doggett's house
and quickly climbed out.
Doggett perched his arse onto the sofa with a sigh, he had came home early from work and gone
to get some shopping, including some christmas shopping to compete with Skinner and his boasts
about what he had done already. Skinner had stayed behind after work while Willmore had gone
to visit relatives.
The good news that had came for Doggett just half an hour earlier when he had recieved a call
from Kersh to inform him that the case he and Willmore were investigating had been handed
over to agent's Reddwyne and Flemenggo, two female agents qualified for the case. Doggett
really thought he had something to celebrate now. He never had to dress as a female again.
Suddenly a loud pound intruded the door causing Doggett to jump with fright and drop some
doritos in the process.
"Great" He sighed as he admired the triangular snacks now embedding the carpet, another pound
infested the door, "Alright! Alright!" Doggett called out with anger. He pulled his lazy body
from the sofa and slowly menouvered to the door, He reached out to the handle and pulled it
open,
"Move out of my way!" A voice sounded before Doggett even had a chance to focus on the occupant
of his doorstep. A small nudging sensation pushed its way past Doggett and he spun around in
time to see Skinner rushing off toward the staircase.
"Sir?" He questioned in shock,
"Not now agent" Skinner called out as he allowed his body to travel up the staircase, his plan
was to turn the house upside down until he found something to back up what had been said about
Doggett at the bureau.
Doggett closed the front door and stood for a few seconds to piece together the situation,
why had Skinner thrusted past and up the stairs in an urgent state?
Skinner rushed to the bathroom in search of the shoes Scully had informed him of, he dashed into
the room and peered under the cabinet. His little hand found its way under and produced a
black velvet shoe,
"AGENT DOGGETT!" He bellowed,
Doggett quickly dashed up the stairs following the holler of Skinner's voice. He found the
noise to be coming from the bathroom, what on earth could be wrong? He rushed to the room and
entered with speed,
"Would you care to enlighten me agent Doggett or should I be left to draw my own conclusions?"
Skinner asked as he stood clutching a shoe,
"Er..." Doggett couldn't believe Skinner had found his shoe, how could he explain the situation?
"Ah and theres more I believe" Skinner said as he remembered Scully telling him of the make-up
in the cupboard. he shot out his little hand and grabbed ahold of the white knob before
tugging it open. Suddenly a small gathering of beauty products tumbled from the cupboard and
nested into the sink,
"Er..." Doggett stood in complete shock
"Just as I expected agent Doggett" Skinner said angered, "Are you a cross-dresser?"
"NO!" Doggett squealed, "It...it belongs to my girlfriend" He skillfully lied
"Girlfriend? You have a girlfriend?" Skinner asked with disbelief
"Er...yes"
"Oh...wel I guess..." Skinner suddenly felt embarrassed at his actions, "Well I guess..."
"I suppose its an easy mistake to make" Doggett said acknowledging the fact that Skinner was
infact trying to apologise.
"Yes...well" Skinner placed the shoe onto the floor, "Well I guess I should get packed"
"Packed?" Doggett asked
"Yes, my electric is back, I can return home" Skinner said
"Oh well, I guess I'll clean up" Doggett bitched
"Yes..." Skinner said still embarrassed at his actions, he quickly left the room and made his
way to Doggett's bedroom to collect his belongings.
Doggett took a huge sigh of relief, he couldn't face Skinner finding out about the case, he
looked to the beauty products in the sink and smiled at the fact he would never, ever have to
wear them again.
"Agent Doggett" Skinner called
"Yes sir?" Doggett replied
"Where are my slippers?"
"Er, in the wardrobe" Doggett said in rememberence to where he had stuffed them in an attempt
to tidy up the night before. Doggett quickly rushed over to the sink to collect up the make-up
maybe Scully would want them, he decided. He picked up some nail varnish when the worst thought
entered his mind. Skinner was going to get his slippers from Doggett's wardrobe...his dress and
wig were in the wardrobe! Cackment filled his mind and body, would he have time to dash into the
bedroom and stop Skinner from getting to the wardrobe and finding the dress?
"AGENT DOGGETT!" Skinner suddenly called. Doggett wondered how he would ever deal with the
situation...
THE END
Agent Reyes was on her way to agent Chopstix office to discuss a case involving an agent
Daizypopp when she suddenly remembered that her casefile had been left in her locker. She turned
back from the direction she was heading in and down a hall to the right until the locker hall
came into view. Reyes took her patent shoes travelling along the hall until she came to the
row in which her locker was situated in. She dashed to locker 26 and began to fiddle in her
bag in search of her locker key.
"This has to be the worst case yet" Doggett grumbled
Reyes stopped when she suddenly heard a familiar voice from the other side of the lockers, was
that Doggett?
"Mine too" Agent Willmore's voice agreed, Reyes found her key and began to open her locker
whilst listening in on their conversation at the same time.
"It's like this morning" Doggett began, "I was styling my hair in the mirror when I reached out
for my perfume instead of hair gel"
Perfume? Reyes thought, *His* perfume?
"Tell me about it" Willmore agreed as he tilted his shoe to allow a small pebble to travel to the
ground, it had been annoying him all morning, "I was washing off my mascara last night when I
reached into my bag for some soap and pulled out my powder puff instead" He added as he quickly
placed his shoe back onto his foot.
Mascara? Powder puff? Were Doggett and Willmore secret cross-dressers? Reyes pondered on the
thought when suddenly her locker key fell from her grasp and crashed to the floor.
Doggett looked at Willmore in shock and horror when he heard a strange clashing sound from the
other side of the lockers. Had someone heard their conversation? Had there been an agent snooping
who would now get the wrong idea?
Suddenly a locker on the other side of the row slammed shut followed by the sound of some shoes
running off in a fast motion.
"What was that?" Willmore asked
"I think someone was listening" Doggett said sadly
"Great, now we'll be the talk of the bureau" Willmore said with the same amount of sadness.
WOMENS SOCIETY MEETING
Doggett waved his arms around in a floaty manner as he tried to pretend he was feeling
vibes due to his 'psychicness'.
"What do you feel Macey?" A woman asked with interest
"I feel...er...a presence" Doggett said, "This place has many ghosts"
"Are you sure?" Someone asked
"Er...yes"
"Well I don't feel anything" The person replied
"Well...er maybe I just need more time" Doggett said as he dropped his floaty arms to his side,
"Okay thankyou Macey" Grace said
Doggett quickly rushed back to his chair when suddenly he forgot about his shoes. His foot
suddenly bent to one side, his leg jerked out and he suddenly saw the ground coming closer and
closer,
"Aaaah" He squealed and his body collapsed to the floor in a heap,
"Dog...Macey!" Willmore called, what if his wig came off? What if he had now given some kind of
clue to their real identities?
"I...I'm fine" Doggett said from his position on the floor, Willmore rushed over and grabbed his
arm and pulled him to his feet.
"Er...I'm fine" Doggett repeated with embarrassment, he quickly rushed over to his chair and
took a seat whilst simultaneously wishing that the ground would open up and swollow him whole.
"Er...back to the meeting" Grace said as she gave Doggett a dirty look, clearly not happy with
the actions of the 'woman', she had rudely farted the day before and now fallen in an unsavoury
stuper to the floor.
"Well I remember the first time I had a ghostly feeling" A woman began as she suddenly launched
into a talk about her beginning as a clairvoyant.
Grace looked over to Macey in an ungraceful manner, she certainly wasn't happy with her actions.
Suddenly she caught sight of a large ladder in Macey's tights, probably from her fall but on
closer inspection Grace noticed a large gathering of hair petruding through the hole. Disgust
filled her mind and vision as she eyed the black hairs with a grimace.
Doggett sat still embarrassed by his departure to the ground in such a manner, he looked over
to Grace to suddenly see her looking at him in a strange manner. Only she wasn't looking directly
at him but at his leg. Doggett quickly followed her gaze to find a ladder in his black tights,
was she looking at his hole? He quickly moved his dress around and placed it over the hole.
THAT NIGHT
Doggett opened the fridge door with sadness, he still hadn't had time to do his shopping,
he looked over at the stale milk and one egg in the compartment of the fridge door. His stomach
suddenly rumbled and he knew it was time for action, he instantly made the decision to order
a pizza or two and two large bottles of coke.
"Pizza?" He asked Willmore who stood admiring Doggett's CD collection
"Sure" He agreed. Suddenly a hefty knock intruded the door, it wasn't like Scully's knock Doggett
instantly concluded and it certainly wasn't Willmore's because he was already there. Doggett
realised that the knock was infact the sound of Skinner's knock but it couldn't be, afterall he
was on vacation. Who could possibly be knocking at such an hour?
"Are you gonna get that?" Willmore asked in wonderment as to why Doggett was in a dream world
"Er...yeah" Doggett said as he snapped out of his thoughts. He took his body over to the door
at a fast pace and yanked it open with speed. Indeed the knock did belong to Skinner,
"Sir?" Doggett questioned in confusion as the man stood shivering on the doorstep
"Well? Are you going to let me in agent Doggett?" Skinner asked with rudeness, Doggett suddenly
noticed a small suitcase clutched in Skinner's hand. This instantly spelled trouble.
"Well..." Doggett pulled the door back
"I shall be staying with you for a while agent Doggett" Skinner informed as he stepped into the
house
"Weren't you on vacation sir?" Doggett asked as he closed the door behind the assistant director
"Yes, I decided to return earlier than planned agent Doggett, is that alright with you?" Skinner
bitched with sarcasm,
"Er...sure"
"Only when I got home, my electricity had been cut off, I rang them and they tried to feed me
some story about me not paying my bill" Skinner said in an angered manner, "What is the world
coming to?"
Doggett thought that maybe the electric company was right, maybe Skinner didn't pay his bill,
afterall he was currently the victim of a mid-life crisis and was very forgetful about things.
"Oh, well your welcome to stay here" Doggett sighed, the last thing he wanted was for Skinner
to stay in his house. Doggett suddenly thought about his latest case, Skinner knew nothing of
the case and Doggett wanted to keep it that way. How would he and Willmore leave the house in
their clothes without him seeing?
"Hey Mr Skinner" Willmore said as he greeted the assistant director
"What? What are you doing here?" Skinner bitched
"I er...my house flooded" Willmore lied
"Well where am I supposed to sleep?"
"You can have the sofa sir" Doggett said, "Willmore has the spare room"
"What? You expect me to sleep on a grubby sofa agent Doggett?" Skinner bellowed, "I er...have a
bad back" He lied
"You do?"
"Yes, so I'll have your bed agent Doggett"
"Well...er..."
"Well thats settled then, whats for dinner?" Skinner asked as he removed his coat and made
himself at home.
"Pizza" Doggett sighed now troubled with more problems adding to his depression.
NEXT MORNING FBI HEADQUATERS
Doggett made his way down from the canteen with his pink-iced doughnuts encased in a
small brown paper bag neatly clutched in his hand along with a cup of espresso coffee.
He pushed through some swing doors and suddenly saw Skinner standing by a vending machine
desperately trying to retrieve some money that was clearly stuck. Doggett froze in shock, what
was he doing in work? He was supposed to be off all week, he had been in bed when he and Willmore
had left for work that morning. Had Kersh already informed him of the case?
Skinner angrily kicked the machine with his foot and made a strange angry growling noise, an
agent appeared at the other end of the hall. Doggett recognised it to be an agent not too
popular at the bureau, agent 'big mouth' Tygafiet. He was known as the grass of the building and
nobody dared trusting him with anything, he made his way over to Skinner,
"Need some help?" Agent Tygafiet said as he aproached the assistant director,
"NO!" Skinner yelled, "I can take care of things myself!"
"Er...sorry" Agent Tygafiet said with a shocked voice, he looked over and saw Doggett standing
by the swing doors at the end of the corridor,
"Hey there Dog" He called with a cheery wave.
Doggett flinched, Skinner was bound to turn around, without a second thought Doggett spotted a
cupboard with a yellow door to his left. He dashed over, yanked it open and jumped inside amongst
all the mops and cleaning utensils in a split second.
"Huh?" Skinner spun around to see the hall empty,
"Is that supposed to be funny agent Tygafiet?" Doggett heard Skinner ask in his angered tone
"But he is there, he...he went in the cupboard" Tygafiet replied, confused at Doggett's actions
Oh no, Doggett thought, what would he do now? Skinner would know he was hiding and demand to know
why. How could he explain that it was because of his embarrassment about his latest case?
Agent Tygafiet and his big mouth, Doggett thought with anger.
Some loafer shoes tip-tapped swiftly down the hall and stopped, the handle to the cupboard moved
around a little until the door opened, a head suddenly peered around the door.
"Agent Doggett?" Skinner asked
"Oh...er sir" Doggett said
"What the hell are you doing in there?"
"It looks like he's hiding" Agent Tygafiet pointed out
Doggett hated agent Tygafiet, he was living up to his reputation of being the number one grass at
the bureau.
"Are you hiding agent Doggett?" Skinner asked
"Er...no"
"Well? what then?"
"Er..." Doggett thought hard, "I er...just thought I'd help out a bit and do some cleaning, I
was looking for a mop" Doggett quickly blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
Skinner's hand found its way into the cupboard and gripped onto Doggett's suit jacket before
tugging him out into the corridor.
"Are you lying to me agent Doggett?" Skinner asked with rage, "Because I find it hard to believe
that 'you' of all people would actually 'want' to do some cleaning at your place of work"
"Er...I'm not lying sir, I just felt a bit bored" Doggett said as he looked at Skinner's fierce
face, he clearly wasn't in a good mood on this particular day.
"Bored?" Skinner asked with rage, "You are bored?"
"Er...yes sir" Doggett replied
"But you haven't even been to your office yet agent Doggett"
"I was..."
"Don't you have any cases to do?" Skinner asked
"Er..."
"Because agent Kersh said that you and Willmore have been assigned to one together"
"He did? Is he still here?" Doggett asked
"Yes but I am now in charge of your investigation so bring me your papers after lunch" Skinner
ordered
"You mean, you know about our case?" Doggett asked
"No thats why I need to see your papers" Skinner said giving Doggett a look as if he was dumb.
"Oh...right of course" Doggett said, "After lunch"
Skinner gave Doggett a bitchy look before wondering off back to the vending machine.
DOGGETT'S OFFICE
Doggett dashed into the room, he looked around for Willmore but saw the strange vision
of Scully seated at her desk instead.
"Scully?"
"Oh good morning" She replied with a smile
"What are you doing here?" He cacked
"I decided to come back to work today, I heard Skinner's back too" She said as she typed away
on her computer,
"But...wheres Willmore?"
"He went to the toilet" Scully replied, "Whats the emergency?"
"Er...nothing"
"I heard about your case" She said, Doggett suddenly felt a sickly feeling in his stomach, "Me
and Willmore have been talking all morning" She said with a smile at her wonderful morning with
Willmore.
"He told you?"
"Yes, it must be hard for you both" She said
"You mean, you don't find it funny?" Doggett asked
"No, why would I find cake theft funny?" She asked with confusion
"Er...cake theft?" Doggett questioned
"Yeah, he told me all about how you have to pretend to be waitors at Moppertopps" She said
"Oh...right" Doggett said. He was glad she didn't know of their case, he quickly made his way
over to his desk and took a seat.
AFTER LUNCH
Doggett and Willmore made their way to Skinner's office, they had a plan. They had sifted
through some old files and found an unsolved case, their plan was to pretend that it was the case
they were doing, all they had to do was change the date and fake Kersh's signature.
Doggett reached his hand out to the door,
"Ready?" He asked Willmore nervously
"Yep" Willmore replied with a deep breath, Doggett proceeded to knock on the door.
"Come in" Skinners voice called. Doggett pushed the door open and the two agents strolled inside.
Skinner stood looking out of the window with a some sort of paper object at hand, he turned to
look at his visitors and Doggett recognised the object to be a christmas card.
"Agent Doggett, agent Willmore" He said, "What brings you to my office?"
"The case sir" Doggett replied,
"Oh, right" Skinner said as he menouvered over to his desk and placed his christmas card onto it,
"Er...so how did you sleep last night?" Willmore asked in an attempt to make conversation in
the icey atmosphere,
"What? Why do you want to know agent Willmore?" Skinner replied angrily
"Er, just asking sir"
"Well I slept fine, I came to work, I lost some cash in the vending machine and now I have
recieved a christmas greeting from someone I hate" He said as he motioned to his christmas card
Doggett and Willmore exchanged confused expressions,
"Well...here's the case sir" Doggett said as he strolled over and handed Skinner the file
"Oh, right" Skinner sighed, he snatched the file, "You may leave" He said rudely
"Oh, okay" Doggett said with surprise, he made his way to the door and pulled it open. He heard
the sounds of Skinner opening the file and suddenly felt the need to dash from the office with
incredible speed,
"Hold it agents" Skinner suddenly called.
Doggett and Willmore stopped in their tracks, exchanged scared faces and gulped with fear, had
he noticed that the file was old? Could he tell by the large, messy streak of tipex crossing
out the old date? Doggett turned back to face Skinner,
"Yes sir?" He asked
"I forgot to give you these" Skinner replied as he pulled his desk drawer open, Doggett and
Willmore sighed with relief, Skinner produced two white envelopes, "As you can see agent
Doggett, I have my cards ready early this year"
"Oh...so do I" Doggett lied, suddenly feeling the need to compete with Skinner, "I just forgot
to bring them to work today"
"Thats strange, I didn't see any cards lying around your house agent Doggett" Skinner pointed
out as he walked over holding out the cards,
"Oh...actually I think I left them in the car" Doggett lied, he instantly hatched a plan to
purchase some cards after work and hand them out in an attempt to get his around before Skinner.
Doggett and Willmore took their cards,
"As you will see, they are of the expensive variety" Skinner said smugly
"Er, so are mine" Doggett said
"Yeah, well thanks sir" Willmore said, "Better get back to work"
"Yeah" Doggett agreed
"Wait, aren't you going to open them?" Skinner asked, "It would be rude of you to not open a
card when it has been given to you by a colleague" He bitched
"Oh, right" Doggett sighed. He and Willmore tore open the envelopes to find a card inside,
Doggett's had a large santa on his sleigh with a sack of presents whilst Willmore's had a
large picture of Rudolf and a snowman. Doggett opened his card to find a neatly written message
in gold marker pen.
"As you can see I used my best pens" Skinner said with a smirk
"Yeah...I used my pen with gold *and* silver ink" Doggett lied
"Well, I look forward to recieving my card agent Doggett" Skinner said with a hint of sarcasm.
"Yeah, well better be going" Willmore said as he dissapeared out of the door followed by Doggett.
THAT NIGHT
Skinner drove down the street with anger and speed. He had had three agents complaining
of Doggett and Willmore acting strange. Scully had been the first telling of how she found some
shoes and make-up in Doggett's kitchen, then Reyes had came to tell of how she had heard
Doggett and Willmore talking about make-up behind some lockers. The third to come was agent
Tygafiet discussing the incident with the cupboard that Skinner himself had witnessed.
Skinner wanted to know exactly what was going on, he pulled the car up outside Doggett's house
and quickly climbed out.
Doggett perched his arse onto the sofa with a sigh, he had came home early from work and gone
to get some shopping, including some christmas shopping to compete with Skinner and his boasts
about what he had done already. Skinner had stayed behind after work while Willmore had gone
to visit relatives.
The good news that had came for Doggett just half an hour earlier when he had recieved a call
from Kersh to inform him that the case he and Willmore were investigating had been handed
over to agent's Reddwyne and Flemenggo, two female agents qualified for the case. Doggett
really thought he had something to celebrate now. He never had to dress as a female again.
Suddenly a loud pound intruded the door causing Doggett to jump with fright and drop some
doritos in the process.
"Great" He sighed as he admired the triangular snacks now embedding the carpet, another pound
infested the door, "Alright! Alright!" Doggett called out with anger. He pulled his lazy body
from the sofa and slowly menouvered to the door, He reached out to the handle and pulled it
open,
"Move out of my way!" A voice sounded before Doggett even had a chance to focus on the occupant
of his doorstep. A small nudging sensation pushed its way past Doggett and he spun around in
time to see Skinner rushing off toward the staircase.
"Sir?" He questioned in shock,
"Not now agent" Skinner called out as he allowed his body to travel up the staircase, his plan
was to turn the house upside down until he found something to back up what had been said about
Doggett at the bureau.
Doggett closed the front door and stood for a few seconds to piece together the situation,
why had Skinner thrusted past and up the stairs in an urgent state?
Skinner rushed to the bathroom in search of the shoes Scully had informed him of, he dashed into
the room and peered under the cabinet. His little hand found its way under and produced a
black velvet shoe,
"AGENT DOGGETT!" He bellowed,
Doggett quickly dashed up the stairs following the holler of Skinner's voice. He found the
noise to be coming from the bathroom, what on earth could be wrong? He rushed to the room and
entered with speed,
"Would you care to enlighten me agent Doggett or should I be left to draw my own conclusions?"
Skinner asked as he stood clutching a shoe,
"Er..." Doggett couldn't believe Skinner had found his shoe, how could he explain the situation?
"Ah and theres more I believe" Skinner said as he remembered Scully telling him of the make-up
in the cupboard. he shot out his little hand and grabbed ahold of the white knob before
tugging it open. Suddenly a small gathering of beauty products tumbled from the cupboard and
nested into the sink,
"Er..." Doggett stood in complete shock
"Just as I expected agent Doggett" Skinner said angered, "Are you a cross-dresser?"
"NO!" Doggett squealed, "It...it belongs to my girlfriend" He skillfully lied
"Girlfriend? You have a girlfriend?" Skinner asked with disbelief
"Er...yes"
"Oh...wel I guess..." Skinner suddenly felt embarrassed at his actions, "Well I guess..."
"I suppose its an easy mistake to make" Doggett said acknowledging the fact that Skinner was
infact trying to apologise.
"Yes...well" Skinner placed the shoe onto the floor, "Well I guess I should get packed"
"Packed?" Doggett asked
"Yes, my electric is back, I can return home" Skinner said
"Oh well, I guess I'll clean up" Doggett bitched
"Yes..." Skinner said still embarrassed at his actions, he quickly left the room and made his
way to Doggett's bedroom to collect his belongings.
Doggett took a huge sigh of relief, he couldn't face Skinner finding out about the case, he
looked to the beauty products in the sink and smiled at the fact he would never, ever have to
wear them again.
"Agent Doggett" Skinner called
"Yes sir?" Doggett replied
"Where are my slippers?"
"Er, in the wardrobe" Doggett said in rememberence to where he had stuffed them in an attempt
to tidy up the night before. Doggett quickly rushed over to the sink to collect up the make-up
maybe Scully would want them, he decided. He picked up some nail varnish when the worst thought
entered his mind. Skinner was going to get his slippers from Doggett's wardrobe...his dress and
wig were in the wardrobe! Cackment filled his mind and body, would he have time to dash into the
bedroom and stop Skinner from getting to the wardrobe and finding the dress?
"AGENT DOGGETT!" Skinner suddenly called. Doggett wondered how he would ever deal with the
situation...
THE END