I Miss You
They had been best friends for the longest time, but those things changed. He had always imagined that they'd be together forever - get married on the same day, have kids the same age. It sounded kind of gay, the more he thought about it, but he didn't care. Everyone had always assumed that anyway.
Kyle leaned back into his chair, staring at his laptop screen blankly. He wondered if Stan ever thinks about him. If Stan feels that longing in the pit of his belly, if it grasps his heart the same way. It doesn't happen all the time, Kyle muses. It's just...every once in a while, he's hit with a wave of nostalgia, and the only thing he wants to do is pick up his cell phone and text Stan about his day.
He knows they'll never be best friends again. He can't help but want Stan back. He doesn't need what they had before - that consuming blindness, where the only thing they could see was each other. He just wants to have his friend to lean on. He wants to be there when Wedny dumps Stan - again - so he can help put the pieces back together. He wants...he wants...he wants...
He wants late night conversations, worried glances, the promise of being friends forever. He knows he'll never be that much to Stan, that he ruined it by being a jackass. He just wants to be able to send his friend a smile. He wants to talk to him so much it hurts.
Kyle had let himself get caught up in life. He had distanced himself from his friend, jealous of things he had no damn right to be jealous of. He had left Stan in the dust, started spending more time with Craig and "those guys", with Kenny. He had left Stan all alone, and he had been wrong, but now he wanted him back.
When Kyle gets like that, he settles at his desk and stares at his computer. He hesitates over old chat programs, other social networks, and in the end...In the end, Kyle does nothing.
It isn't his choice to make anymore, because as much as he wants Stan back...Kyle shook his head and stood up, walking away from the desk. He stared out the window, watching snow fall quietly. Vaguely, he wondered if he should go to Kenny's house. No.
...as much as he wants Stan back, its Stan's decision, in the end. He can't force that onto his friend. He won't.
Kyle closed his eyes, a blissful smile on his face as he moved once more to the desk. He hovered over those same social networks, the same chat sites, and he waited. He waited because he would always wait, he would always be there, sitting by the phone, by the computer. If Wendy ever left, or Randy got too loud, he'd be there. To listen and comfort, and if Stan wanted, to disapear again afterwards.
Kyle wonders if Stan ever thinks about him, if Stan maybe sometimes misses him.
He wants his friend back, and he knows he fucked it up. Him, all him.
Kyle smiled one last time, head tilted back against the chair. His eyes opened so he could stare at the ceiling, at nothingness and then...
...then Kyle imagined.
I miss you.