Hey guys, this is my first fanfic so hope you like it, this is something like the chapter zero. /Prologue so , here i mostly explain the story, the next few chapter are going to take place in the past with some scenes of the future. sorry if I have any mistake, english is not my language.
"We met. We drank. We danced, we fell in love. And the next morning, she was gone. I looked for her, and after all this time, now she is here, Mark. And finally, I know her name. It's Meredith" I say, my voice is a mix between happiness and sadness. I haven't forgotten her almost grey and green eyes. "
Zero.
Ten years ago.
I am looking the view through the window.
After two years I haven't noticed that when the summer is coming to New York, the sun is brighter and everyone seems a little bit happier, studying is easier and the final parties are about to start, -With the final exams, obviously-, but I don't care about that. I can't. And that makes me feel like another person. Not Derek Shepherd, the boy who parties all Thursdays and then spends the day studying, worrying for his marks. Monotone. Now it's simple. Something changed me. And that something is what I can't get out of my mind. All I can think about: My father.
I can't get the shooting out of my head. It's settle down in there with Amy's cry. Every time I close my eyes it happens once again and again. I barely can control myself. I barely can breathe. I need something new. I need a change. But, where am I going to find it?, I have nowhere else to go, first, because I have to finish Med school. -Even, if it is the last thing I want to do right now; and second because leaving everything would mean running away. And I can't do that. I have a lot of responsibilities now, being the only man of the Shepherds.
And I know myself. I know I would regret about it in the first minute.
Great, now I'm a coward.
But I don't know who I am anymore. Everything I do, even when the last thing I want to do is hurting someone, it's wrong. Amy calls it bottoming out. And maybe, she is right. And the question is: Where do I go from here?
"Derek?, you ready?" Obviously, my question, the question that got me freaking out haven't got an answer. Amy said I should wait. But I'm not a very patient person.
I turn and I see Mark. He looks at me inquisitive, wanting to know why I'm not ready yet. "I think I'm not going with you, sorry. You go, have sex and your favourite dirty things"
Now it's Mark the one who is freaking out, he opens his eyes widely and his mouth forms an 'o'. "You are kidding, right?, of course you are coming. There's not turning back. I came here to see you, and I'm not letting you go back to your sad life."
"Mark..."I try to explain myself.
"No, Derek. I gave you time. You can't be like this forever. You are going to fail if you don't study, and you are going to lose everyone if you just disappear like this. I come here. Everyday. But what if one day I can't show up?, what if one day I don't want to show up?, I can't leave you here. I can't let you throw your life. I know it's rough, you have just lost your father, but that's not an excuse, your father wouldn't want you to screw up your life. "
Mark's words come to me like a hurricane. I open my mouth twice, but there are no words, I don't know what to say to defend myself, so I just whisper the truth; "I miss him"
"I know."He puts his hand on my back.
Mark have been my best friend, my brother since Middle School. He practically lived with us, and my sisters were all dying for his bones. —manwhore—But I just see the only person I can trust. I just see the boy under the wall. The boy that needed someone. He's not perfect, and our friendship is not very peaceful, but he's here when I need him and I'm there when he needs me. We are good with that.
Present day.
I walk into the hospital earlier that day, like always, it rains in Seattle. The weather is really boring in this city, always the same. Grey skies with very big clouds. There's not sun like in L.A. But today, today everything seems different. Like with a new scent. Like when I first saw a Ferryboat. I know it's nothing but I needed to see something... New. I don't know why, but i love ferryboats.
When I arrive to the attending's room I put my scrubs on. ''Good Morning , beautiful day, isn't it?'' I say smiling. Today I´m feeling happy.
She looks at me raising her eyebrow.''What do you want, Shepherd?'' She asks and I frown. Why do i have to want something?, why everyone thinks that I'm so selfish?
''I don't want anything, I was just... asking''
''Well...''She looks surprised. ''In that way, My day is not that beautiful, today the new inters are coming. Like New students to Middle School.''
I open my eyes, now I'm the one surprised. The new interns? I didn't hear anything about it, well, maybe because i don't like the things out of work, but... Well i don't like interns. I knew that this was a hospital with intership when I came so I know I'll have to deal with stupids students, but still I do not like them. Even, I didn't when I was one.
Ten years ago
The party was already started.
The music is loud, the house is crowded.
Everyone seems to be a little more drunk.
And I'm still thinking if I am gonna drink something, maybe alcohol is what I need for all my problems. But I know that's not the solution and it is not what I really want. I just want my father back, even when I know that's impossible.
"look who is back to the world ! Earth calling Derek Shepherd!" I heard my friend Sam's voice. I turn to see the blond guy standing next to me with a funny face.
I fake a laugh trying to fit in. "I'm sorry, I'm back"
"That sounds good" He offers me a Beer. "Now you drink!, you look like crap!"He claims smiling. He doesn't know anything, so I forgive him, just Mark does. I don't want anyone around saying how sorry he/she is for my lost.
I grab a beer. Just one.
Suddenly, Sam disappears with another people and I see myself standing alone. I look for Mark for a while, but when I finally find him he is not in a very good position for doing… Anything.
I sigh, walking out the house, I shouldn't have come. I was better in my room, alone, without all this crap. I lay down in the grass, looking at the sky. The day it's almost over, the darkness is starting to flood the place and it feels good.
It isn't hot anymore, the grass it's wet and cold, so fresh. I close my eyes and I try to imagine my father. Me and my father going fishing, me and…
"Ey! You shouldn't sleep here, I almost hit you. " I heard. I open my eyes again quickly, and there it is She. Nothing more. Just her. She is smiling at me. Looking into my eyes softly. Her eyes are a mix of green and blue, almost transparent like the water. So soft. So warm. So…
Home.
"I wasn't sleeping. Just relaxingp. I don't want to be here."I explain sitting down.
"Sure." She laugh"Or maybe, you drank too much and you fell here. "She sits down next to me, drinking… Tequila?
"No! I mean, I'm not drinking tonight"
"Oh you are the one who drives?"She asks funny.
"I'm the one who is not having fun."
"Well I could say I am a member of your club"
"Oh, the perks club. Sounds good" she laughs again and suddenly I believe in angels. She is just magical. Like a goddess. Her blonde hair falls down her back, like a fall, like a soft Caresse. And she smells…
Lavender?
Yep, Lavender.
"What's your name?" I ask curious. I need to know her. I need information like the air for breathing.
"Hm… I haven't got a name, I'm just a girl in a party"She says. I look at her with deception, wondering why she doesn't want to give her name to me.
"Then, I'm just a boy in a party?" I follow the game. I'll know. I need to know what's her name.