Can I Love You Both?

Zac had just finished his show and was on his way to the nearest bar with his assistant Neil. Zac had dark black hair, beautiful brown eyes, and tanned skin. Neil on the other hand had blond hair, pale skin, and breathtaking blue eyes.

When they entered the bar, nobody turned and stared; they kept at their drinks, and stayed with their friends. As Zac took a seat right at the bar, Neil ventured off to find some girl to go bring home, leaving Zac to get rid of her in the morning.

As usual, Zac ordered a few beers, ready to get wasted, chat with some girls, go home with Neil and his mystery woman, and wake up in the morning with the worst hangover ever imagined, only to get rid of some girl. It was basically a known routine.

All Zac could think of was Briar. Briar is Zac's ex fiancée that he left two months ago. That was the reason he always came out to bars after a show. To try and get rid of the pain that coursed through his veins ever since he left him. He didn't want it to end that way. He still wanted to be his friend, but Briar had changed. He closed himself off of everyone and everything and was only ever mad. He barely showed any emotion to anyone but himself. Zac felt terrible about leaving him. They had been together for so long and then he just mad a snap decision. He's always contemplating whether it was the right decision or not no matter how happy he seems to be. He doesn't think that he'll ever be able to stop loving Briar, no matter how hard he tires.

Time seemed to drag on slowly every time he thought about Briar. But he couldn't ever stop. He had wanted more than a friendship at first, but then it turned to more, and then to less. He wasn't sure about anything anymore. He loved and still loves Neil, but he has no idea what to do. How would he ever tell Neil that he loved him? He's sure that Neil will only be his friend and assistant even though he drops hints every now and then.

Later that night wile Zac was watching TV, Neil came out and sat down by him.

"Aren't you supposed to be with mystery girl right now?" he asks.

Neil being drunk and can't think straight said, "She's worse than me. She puked on me awhile ago. It was really gross."

"You've done that before you know," I reply laughing at him. Just as he was about to answer me, mystery girl comes out of the hallway and she looked steamed.

"Next time," she started "don't throw-up on a girl in bed!" She stormed out of the room and out the door, calling a cab as she got to the street. I started laughing and looked at Neil but he just shrugged. That made me laugh even harder.

It was then that I realized that Neil was the only one who ever made me laugh so hard. He was right next to me on the couch, but I couldn't kiss him. It would be too weird. All I could do was smile. Now I understand that I loved boys, and I probably always would. I figured trying to get a relationship with Neil was a 0% chance unless he was totally wasted. I decided I would try out my new scenario with boys form the bar, and leave Neil out of this.

Just then, Neil started throwing up. He wasn't stopping either, so I picked him up and carried him to the bathroom. I stayed with him until he said he was okay. Then I took him to his bedroom and helped him out of his clothes and into some new ones. I let the vomit and dirty clothes on the ground for the maid to clean up in the morning. Just as I was leaving Neil called my name.

"Thanks," he said and hugged me. Longer than what would be appropriate for a friendship, but I didn't dwell on the subject.

"No problem. That's what I'm here for assistant," I joked. He just looked at me and laughed as I left the room.

As I was getting into my bed I thought that maybe I wouldn't leave him out of this. Maybe he loved me too. I again decided that I would start with boys from the bar and work my way up to Neil. Maybe he would get jealous. Maybe it's just that Neil makes me feel different. I've never really like any other boy. I think that it's just him. Even though I'm going through with my plan, I don't want to seem like a whore. I won't be with too many guys, just enough to get Neil to notice and then some more. I don't know how long I can wait for Neil though. My plan could fail because of my impatience. I want him so badly, but I don't think he wants me. The worst that could happen is that I would have to find a new assistant and a new best friend. I wanted to just make a move, but I didn't want the rejection. We're great friends and I know I should leave it at that, but I just couldn't. In the morning things would be different.

So I don't know if this will be any good but i hope u'll like it. xx