Hoperai Week 2015 – Day Three – Hand-to-hand Combat (Post FFXIII, slight AU)
Hope stood outside her door, his hand hesitantly floating above the door knob. He shifted his bare feet against the cold, wooden floor as a chill ran down his spine. Pulling the thin fleece blanket tighter around his body, the teenager licked his lips in anxiousness. He had no business being here at her door this late at night, this was ridiculous. All of these late-night expeditions of his were ridiculous, but still…he wanted- needed to be by her side at that moment. The chances of him going back to sleep in his current condition were slim to none. Hope again moved his hand to touch the knob of the door, but quickly pulled it back as if he had gotten burned.
You're being ridiculous, he repeated in his mind. Go back to your own room, don't bother her.
Yet as much as Hope tried to dissuade himself, his hand found its way onto the knob again and this time, it turned. Slowly, he pressed his head against the door and peeked in. There, he saw the figure of Lightning lying in the bed, her back facing him. Quitely, Hope stepped in and closed the door behind him. He made sure to keep the knob turned until it met the frame so that it would not click shut.
Wrapping the thin blanket tighter around his shoulders, Hope took a deep but quiet breath before proceeding to pad to the side of the bed where Lightning was facing. When he reached the edge of the bed Hope's lips parted slightly as he was met with a rather incredible sight.
Before him was Lightning, sleeping on her stomach with one leg pulled close to chest. One arm was underneath her pillow while the other hung slightly over the edge of the bed. The comforter was crumpled up to her mid back, indicating that she had shifted from her initial position. But the reason why Hope was so blow away was because Lightning's face was...
Peaceful.
She looked younger and relaxed for once and the way the moonlight from the window hit her features made her appear almost angelic. It was honestly a very rare sight to see the young woman in such a state and Hope always treasured these rarities. Ever since the fall of Cocoon, its displaced inhabitants had to quickly get used to living on the hostile environment of Gran Pulse. Since Lightning had been a part of the Guardians Corps, having her back within their numbers was more critical now than ever. Even though she, along with the rest of the group had lost their L'Cie magic, their knowledge of Gran Pulse was highly germane. It was imperative that civilization were to continue on without panic, so Lightning was kept busy with work six out of the seven days of the week repairing and creating what used to be.
Since Hope's mother was…gone and his father's fate was never brought to closure, Hope stayed with Serah and Snow from Monday through Saturday and was with Lightning on her only day off. In some ways, he felt like he was hurting her by becoming liability to her to look after on Sundays but at the same time, it hurt him to be separated from her for so long. After all, she was essentially, all that he had left and the thought of losing her from his life forever was too painful to fathom. This was the reason of why he had to come see her suddenly in the middle of the night. He feared being alone.
Hope kneeled down to his knees and crossed him arms against the edge of the bed, his chin resting against it. His face was about a forearms length away from hers, as he could clearly see all for her facial features at such a close proximity. He noticed the slight bags underneath her eyes, the result of her shorter nights and longer days. Even though Hope knew that Lightning was more than capable of supporting herself, there had to be only so much that one person alone could handle before their body began to show signs of exhaustion. He knew she was stressed and worn, but he admired and respected the way she continued to carry herself.
Turning his attention to the hand hanging slightly off the edge of the bed, Hope hesitantly moved his own to rest on top of hers, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth against the back of her hand. Almost instantly, his nerves began to calm down as so did his heartbeat. Lightning's touch had always had a calming effect on his body, especially if she were the one to initiate the connection. It could be something as simple as a hair ruffle or a tap on his shoulder or even the iconic forehead flick. These were effortless yet essential actions because it served as a constant reminder of peace to the troubled teen.
If she could touch him, then it meant that she was still by his side.
As Hope glided his thumb across her hand, he had the chance to appreciate how smooth and soft it felt. It's not like he'd never held her hand, he'd done that many of times, typically when he wanted to drag her somewhere or get her attention. However, he's never held it so delicately within his own fingers. Despite the multiple calluses on her fingers and palm, her hand was still obviously feminine and it surprised Hope to realize that their hands were about the same size. The teen knew that she had been in more hand-to-hand combats than the years he'd been alive, and would probably continue the battle here on Gran Pulse. It was a thought that made Hope sick to the stomach. She had suffered through enough during her short lifetime, especially when she was his age. Didn't Lightning deserve to be at peace with herself and those around her?
Hope reached with his other hand to completely incase Lightning's own with his hands. He then bowed his head and brought both of their hands up to his forehead, his grip tightening slightly. He clamped his eyes shut as he felt his vision blur. His shoulders shook with effort, but he willed himself not to cry. He didn't want to disturb her sleep. The last thing he wanted her to do was to waste her energy on his childish affairs.
But still…it just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he was mentally unstable when he went a certain amount of time without seeing Lightning. It wasn't fair that she had to continue on fighting for survival whilst at the same time look after some helpless kid because in truth, Hope did feel helpless. They had made a pact to protect each other back on their quest on Cocoon, but the share of the promise was unbalanced. Hope wasn't doing a god damn thing to support the person he loved and he nearly hated himself because of it. Although Hope wasn't sure of the type of love he felt for Lightning, whether it be romantic, admiration or friendship love, there was one thing that was certain. If you love someone, it's your job to protect them and offer them the best of support.
And you're not doing any of that, Hope thought bitterly.
A disobedient sniff arose from him as small tears began to trail down his face. Was it too much for him to ask? Was it really just too much for himself and Lightning to live out the rest of their lives happily amongst their family and friends? Was that solemn wish too unreasonable? He just wanted to be happy. He just wanted her to be happy. He wanted to give her happiness, but he couldn't provide any of that, at least, not in his current condition.
A dreadful hiccup escaped from Hope lips before he could bite it down. Shut up, you'll wake her up!
As Hope lost himself in his efforts to quiet his sobs, he was unaware of the pair of blue eyes watching over him. Lightning looked on sympathetically at the shaking form before her. She had been awake since the silver-haired teen stepped into her room, her battle-hardened ears never missing a single detail. She had decided not to appear awake because she was used to Hope coming to her in the middle of the night, seeking comfort from her presence. At first, she found herself nearly tripping over the boy on her way out the door as he would sometimes awake from his room to fall asleep in the hallway with his pull-over blanket against her door. Eventually, his need to be next to her worsened as he would come into her room and lay against her dresser, then against the bed, all whilst not trying to wake her as if he were ashamed of his actions. Truthfully, Lightning never minded his unprecedented late night visits, as he always seemed to fix his problem by just being in the same room as her and whatever made him feel better, made her feel better as well. However, that didn't stop here from worrying over this strange behavior.
When she would ask him about it the following morning, he would say that he just had a nightmare and wanted to be near her. She only believed this to a certain extent. Lightning was almost sure that Hope was suffering from some type of separation disorder, but who could blame him? He had lost both his parents in a rather short amount of time and was forced into survival mode at a very young age. Who wouldn't become anxious for the well-being of his adopted guardian? They barely got to spend any time with each other as it was rare for them, even on Sundays, to just enjoy each other's company. So when Hope needed to come see her in the middle of the night, she let him. However, this particular night disturbed her deeply. In all of his visits, he had never cried. Not one single time. So to see him crying now, Lightning knew that he needed help and support. She needed to step in and calm down his nerves, because he couldn't do it himself but neither could she. She needed him just as much as he needed her.
Slowly, Lightning untangled her hand from Hope's to wrap around his torso. She heard a surprised yelp come from the boy, but she only held him closer. Effortlessly, she pulled him over the edge and brought him into the bed with her. As a result, Lightning felt him freeze against her, his body going into fight or flight mode.
"L-Light!" He stuttered, his green eyes wide with fear and guilt. "S-sorry, I didn'tmeantowakeyouIamsorrythat-" Lightning put an end to his rambling by flicking him lightly against his forehead before guiding his head to rest upon her chest.
"Hope," She started, her voice assertive, yet soft. One of her slender hands found its way to his hair, a spot she knew that would soothe the teen the quickest. "if there's a storm brewing outside, don't expect me to sleep through it." After a couple more moments of being tense, Hope relaxed against her. Although she didn't say it directly, he knew the real connotation behind those simple words. She had always been able to relieve him with the least amount of effort or words. Releasing a big sigh, Hope finally began to calm down. He felt safe knowing that Lightning was holding him, giving him back his sense of comfort and stability that had briefly been forgotten. But most importantly, he felt relief as he listened to the quiet beating of her heart against his ear.
She's still here, he reminded himself. She's still here with you.
Hesitantly, the silver-haired brought a hand back up to Lightning's and when she made no move to stop him, he loosely twined his fingers with hers. He wanted to hold onto her as well.
"Thanks, Light." He murmured against her chest, his eyes drooping closed with sleepiness. "Love you.." The pink-haired woman responded by resting her chin on top his mop of silver hair, the essence of sleep easily beginning to overstake her as well. Neither of them had anything to fear now that they were together. Hope was at peace, even if it was for just one brief point in time, knowing that Lightning was still with him and Lightning found her peace by know that Hope had found his. It was honestly all just a big, looping, never ending mess, but somehow, their predicament always found equilibrium. Because as they both lay there, hand to hand, they could forget about their troubles and focus on with the idea that maybe someday, they would find true peace and happiness. But until then, they were content with the idea of just being there for each other on the long ride to that destination.
Side to side, hand to hand, they would get there, eventually.