A/N: Okay this is pretty gross, so if you don't like it don't read, it's rated M for a reason. I may put up another chapter involving a Draco-Snape-Nutella threesome if I feel the need to. So yeah, enjoy and please review, well only if you're not gonna bitch about the subject. Cause I already warned you.
It was a rather cold December evening when Draco Malfoy was called into Professor Dumbledore's office. The young boy had been wandering the grounds in the snow, when news that he was wanted by Dumbledore reached him. He begrudgingly went up to the Headmasters office and let himself in without a thought of regret.
"Why good evening Draco, I bring to you some most unfortunate news." Oh good god old man. Quit your babbling, I have places to go, people to see. Thought Draco, Well, a certain luscious green apple to see. "Draco, I regret to inform you, but Miss Granger is in the hospital." Yeah, yeah that's wonderful I don't give a fuck about her anyways.
"She was found unconscious in your room, laying by the bed with some interesting evidence in her hands" he wrung his hands out nervously "Yes?" Draco urged him to continue. "A green apple was found in her outstretched hand. She was poisoned by it." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Draco screamed.
"That stupid little bitch. She was jealous of that apple, I loved that apple. She had to kill him, to get with me. Pathetic. What a pathetic little bitch, she'll pay!" Draco muttered angrily as he left towards his room. No more sleeping with that gorgeous green body beside him. No more lustful thoughts of the apple, HIS apple during Potions. No more stolen glances at his apple or late night sex with the beloved apple. It was all gone now, Because of a jealous Hermione.
Draco heard a thump in the night. "Who's there?" he shouted. There it was again, that thump "Lumos" he shouted and his wand's tip light up the night. A shadow down the hall, someone was there. Draco paced nervously towards the shadow, wand at the ready. He bent down at the figure, a small jar and read the label "Nutella?" he pondered. He turned the jar over looking for any signs that it might be poisoned, and even if it was, at this point of loneliness, he could care less. He grabbed the jar and ran stealthily up to his room.
After locking his door several times with impenetrable charms, Draco threw the jar onto the bed, jumping softly after it. He twisted the lid and it opened with a satisfying pop. Curiously, he dipped his finger into the creamy paste that was in the jar. Tasting it, his eyes widened and he grinned "Perfection."
His apple was long forgotten. Draco took off his pants and his boxers soon to follow. "It's painful to watch you sit there longingly, darling" Draco purred stroking the label lustfully "But don't worry, it's your turn now." He swirled his fingers in the chocolatey substance and coated it thickly on his erection. He grabbed his wand and muttered the spell "Morphinus Stretchus" aiming at himself.
Suddenly, Draco could stretch so far. He could finally spill out the lustful greed he was feeling. He traced his tongue up and down the shaft, the salt of his skin mingling with the sweet taste of his lover. "Oh you're so good" he murmured. He licked it clean and dipped his wand into the Nutella.
He bent over with his ass in the air and stuck his wand up inside feeling it slide around with such ease, such beauty. "Oh! My love, you feel so good!" he whisper shouted, remembering the dorm might hear him. Draco came to a sudden realization. Had he stooped this low? This low that he was having sex with himself and a jar of chocolate hazelnut spread?
"No. No, I can't do this, I'm sorry" He whispered to the Nutella with tears streaking down his chocolate streaked face. The Nutella's sweet voice was guilting his conscience "I knew you couldn't take me Draco. You're weak, I can't believe you're letting me down like this. Coward."
Draco couldn't let the Nutella down, he picked up the jar and ran naked to the dungeons. Filch kept some well oiled cuffs here, Draco couldn't wait to have some fun. He hung himself up by the wrists and sat the Nutella near his feet. In his hand he held a whip covered in the delicious substance. "Draco, you've been a naughty boy" he told himself imitating the mocking voice of the Nutella. "And I'm going to have to punish you"
He took out the whip and began to spank himself harder and harder until his ass was bright red and covered in chocolate. "Oh yes!" he moaned loudly "Harder". He took the whip and rolled the tip of it around his erect cock. He gripped the tip of it and squeeze tightly with his nails making indents in the chocolate coated flesh. The cuffs broke off the ceiling and Draco waltzed into the corner, wand brandished.
He said a quick spell and he was dressed only in a black tie and white suit cuffs. "I've got a surprise for you," he said and jammed his dick hard into the jar of Nutella. Moving around the jar inside, trying his best to get as much of his lover as he could. He felt himself coming and started to scream "Oh fuck! OH FUCK!" as he orgasmed into the sweet sticky mess of chocolate.
He felt relief wash over him and stroked the jar lovingly. "You are wonderful," he said as he attempted to pull out of the Nutella jar. He pulled hard, but he came to a sudden realization that his dick was stuck just as the door opened. "What the hell Malfoy?" said a rather amused Severus Snape.