212. "Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single." – Unknown – ft. Victoria Hand/Maria Hill, + FRIDAY.
"So that was an absolute disaster," Maria groaned as they dropped down onto the lobby sofa. Victoria just cleaned her glasses while Maria continued. "At least my mom wasn't so bad about it – dad's reaction was expected, but mom was always the wild card. I really don't actually mind taking back all my dogs and stuff seeing as my aunt dumped them on her, though I know you're allergic, and Stark might not let them into the tower, but-"
"Fuck him, your dogs are adorable and I will not let you put them to the pound," Victoria glared at her lightly. "I can take allergen tablets. Your mother said she'd send them over to us here once we'd arrived home – which we have, in a way – and that she'd pay for it as a wedding present, so we have to make arrangements."
"'Reluctant' wedding present, remember that – reluctant." Maria muttered, "I bet she'll send it to Robin and Victoria Scherbatsky, too, not Maria Hill and Victoria Hand."
"Scherbatsky – that was your name before you changed it in SHIELD, right?"
"Yeah…" All of a sudden, alarms started going off, Maria groaning as she got up. "That's the alarm meaning something's attacking Avengers Tower. We need to either get involved or hide."
"I don't think we have much of a choice?" Victoria took out her gun, shooting something behind Maria, who turned I time to see a doombot drop the ground, eye busted. "Where's your gun?"
"Hiding in my suitcase," Maria replied, taking a knife out from under skirt. "Let's destroy some doombots."
"I wouldn't be here if not for you," Victoria muttered, shooting another three doombots as Maria knelt down, hand searching the underside of the sofa for a gun. "Ri, hurry up."
"I'm trying, Vic – there, got it," she stood, holding up a semi-automatic just as a hoard of doombots smashed through a window. Firing, Maria took them out, Victoria taking out those that slipped past her current firing-zone and came from different angles. "We need to get to the stairwell. I'll cover you."
"On three. One, two-" Victoria ran across to the stairwell, Maria right behind her, still shooting doombots as Victoria got the doors open, pulling her through and locking them. "Up or down? You know the tower better than me-"
"Agent Hill, Agent Hand," FRIDAY suddenly interrupted, "I would recommend going down. No doombots at present are infiltrating the tower through the parking garage – one of Mr Stark's vehicles would be acceptable as a getaway car."
"Perfect – thanks Friday," Maria nodded, before shooting a doombot as it smashed through the small circular window on of the doors. "You heard her, Victoria."
"Shouldn't we help?"
"The Avengers have it in hand, Agent, but there are currently structural issues that Miss Maximoff will only be able to help with for a short time. Mr Stark is currently strengthening the tower's supports rather than helping his teammates defeat Doctor Doom's newest creations."
"Great, so the building is going to collapse and we need to get out in case Wanda can't deal." Maria shot another few rounds at the doombots' heads, before spinning around and grabbing Victoria's hand, pulling her down the stairs towards the garage. Once there, they looked at all Stark's cars and, without even looking at each other, spoke the same thing.
"We're keeping whichever one we steal."