Otaku Frenzy Hogwarts: This fanfic is really a bunch of interconnected oneshots put together as the summary says. There's not exactly a plot between the chapters despite them all being related. Anyway, there is no need to read these in order. So choose what you will and read it. (We do recommend reading this in order though. :P )

A/N: Now, as we are pretty mainstream anime/manga fans, you have nothing to worry about as far as comprehension goes for this fic. As long as you know… the pretty mainstream anime/manga stuff, you'll be fine! YAY! Except maybe for some non-pretty mainstream anime/manga stuff, which would never quite extend to the downright obscure stuff, so it's all greaaaaat. Yes. We can hear your 'Greaaaaat' now.

Summary: Harry and Draco catch each other being otaku. What happens when they discover the other with an inner-otaku?

Treee: The Prologue of Two

A lone figure scurried across the castle grounds; hunched over a bundle, shadow barely casting a grey blur on the morning's dew steeped grass, long, billowing robes protected by a water-repellent charm to ward away the lurking swirls of mist and grass stains. The sun's yellow eye, half hidden by earth's blanket, half lidded by cloud, and half dead at 5:00am on a Saturday morning, could care less, like most Hogwarts students.

But Draco Malfoy was not most students.

And he most certainly cared about himself.

At that rare moment though, he wasn't focused on a mirror. He was on a mission. A serious mission. An 'affair de la coeur'. He could not get caught. For to be caught, was to suffer mockery and social humiliation from his peers, not to mention possible disownment.

A few yards from the forest fringe, he stopped. Looking back to make sure no one was following him, he ducked his platinum-blond rumpled bedhead into the dank darkness of the Forbidden Forest. Lumos. A stream of yellow light fought back the gloom of artificial night deep in the dense shade beneath the ancient trees. This place was almost impossible to navigate without experience.

No one can track me down now, Draco grinned, completely forgetting that Hagrid had way more skillz than he ever would. But, as he completely forgot that, it's not really a part of the story, now is it? HA.

With a double swish and three circular flourishes, he conjured splotches of light from traces of bark he'd infused with his soul to mark his path. Because this was just that important. Deactivating each blue patch by pressing his wand tip to the tree on his way, Draco eventually made it to his secret hideaway with only a couple more leaves in his hair than before.

He poked his head into the light of the clearing surrounding a massive oak tree, its gnarled branches twisting into and out of the foliage which could hide an elephant at parts. Not that I need it, I'm hardly as fat as say… Weasley's cow of a mum, Draco thought to himself as he walked over to the tree and levitated himself up to avoid coming into contact with more nature than was necessary.

Securing a spot on a sturdy branch, he put his back to the trunk after a mild cleansing charm and took a deep breath, preparing himself for re-acquaintance with his love. It was time.

A few seconds later, the sounds of engrossing sex filled the air.

And Draco used his wand to zap a pair of cicadas who were getting it on next to his right ear.

Honestly now, way to ruin the moment, the Slytherin thought as shook his head and opened the package he was carrying, revealing a pink covered book. No. Manga volume. Oh, yes, Ouran! He nearly squealed, but managed to hold it in in favor of not attracting the attention of various Forbidden Forest inhabitants who could hurt, and or possibly maim him in a variety of ways. After all, the fangirl-squeal was originally a rallying call, created to gather large amounts of hormone crazed teens in an attempt to hunt down hunks of meat, otherwise known as bishounen. As the masses congeal, their high-pitched voices create a type of high, in which individuals lose all rational thought and rampage in search of fresh meat. In the face of such an advanced hunter race, the creatures of the forest have become extremely wary of any and all signs of otaku. Draco read all about it in The Guide to Surviving in the Forbidden Forest of Hogwarts: Otaku Version when he'd been preparing to serve detention with Hagrid that one time in first year.

Yes, the obsession went that far back.(1)

By now, Draco had finished three chapters of volume 9, by now, deeply absorbed by theignorance of his own feelings of a certain blond. Why is Tamaki so stupid?!

So enraptured was he in the drama that he took no notice of a certain blue Ford Anglia careening towards the tree trunk.

"Bloody Hell!" cried Draco, startled by the sudden jolt as well as an accompanying loud "GRAAAH" (thud/squish) (tire squeal) "Who's there!?" he shouted down, quickly stuffing his guilty pleasures into his robes. He caught the smashed front of a rusted blue car back-pedaling into the green forest and a person-sized black heap on the ground through the foliage. Unluckily, there didn't seem to be any pools of red so there was still danger of being found out.

"Uggh… Malfoy?" the filthy heap dared to squint up at Draco, "You're the only person I know that blond and pasty. What're you doing here?"

Draco took out his Omnioculars (originally to make sure no one was around, whoops) and zoomed in, as he was slightly myopic from reading too much in dim lighting under the bedcovers past midnight. "Ah! Potter!" He gave an inward sigh of relief. Potter doesn't know how to blackmail; he's too Gryffindor. Draco composed himself. "You're the only one I know who could fall out of a tree and whose hair would look no different. In a bad sense." Only heathens could live so poorly groomed. "What are you doing here?" Haha, look at Potter clutching his head. I suppose the Boy Who Just Wouldn't Die wouldn't have been bumped off from a mere twenty foot fall. Just my luck that the grass is so thick here. "Haven't got a concussion, have you? Though I bet Creevy and the Weaslette would simper by your sickbed through your last moments-"

"Ugh, shut it you slimy haired git. I was coming here to be ALONE!" Potter seemed to be going to pick up a pink rectangle. No. Manga volume, Draco realized as he zoomed the Omnioculars more.

"Accio Ouran!"Dracoheld Potter's copy of the book, eyes wide in disbelief at the realization that it was…the Exact. Same. Copy. As. His."Hah, Potter, isn't this for girls? I know you were odd, but I didn't know you were that queer!" Draco jeered, inner Draco taking over with school yard taunts.

However, in his excitement, Draco's own prized volume had tumbled down. The soot-haired brat seemed to realize that it wasn't his though, perhaps through the absence of dog-ears. "That's from the library, courtesy of Hermione, actually. Unfortunately, I can't think of a similar excuse for you." He flipped the pages of the mint condition volume with a raised eyebrow. "My god, Malfoy, how prudish could you get?"

"It-it-it's not mine! I…stole it from a muggle!" Draco's face was getting red as he grew more agitated.

"There aren't any muggles within miles of this place." Harry never let down that one eyebrow. "Malfoy… have you ever… cosplayed?"

"No! You think a person of my social standing would set foot in one of those stink-pit conventions? Ugh! Some muggle might drink too much and vomit on my costume I spent days waiting for a house-elf to make!" Those useless creatures had to set aside all costume creation every ten minutes or so to jab their fingers with needles or iron their ears for doing something muggle against the orders of Draco's… entire family tree, sans himself. It was truly tragic, being a Malfoy.

"The only way you'd know that much about cosplay, being a wizard and isolated from conventions and muggle streets, would be if you'd looked into it. Now… tell me the truth, Malfoy."

"Well, Potter, riddle me this, on page…."

(Insert 10 lines of otaku trivia exchange, the really deep and dark secrets.)

"Harry!" the blond leapt out of the tree.

"Draco!" the brunette ran to greet him.

"Harry!" A field of flowers.

"Draco!" An embrace. A sunset. A crashing wave.

THE END

(1)

See, once, when he was just wee small, a skydiver decided to take a plane over Malfoy manor, thinking it was a clearing on which he might have a lovely picnic afterwards. The silly man brought along with him two bags; one filled with foodstuffs, a blanket, and manga for entertainment, the other, his parachute. Unfortunately, he got the bags mixed up, and went kersplat, as sandwiches do nothing to lessen the mighty force of gravity.

Luckily for a seven year old Draco who was wandering around being all bored-like, the man had kept his manga in a plastic baggy to protect it from possible food spillage, and inadvertently kept it from being spoiled by his bloody remains as well.

Now, Draco was the son of a Deatheater and so thus found bloody muggle corpses to be nothing out of the ordinary. He went over to investigate, looked around in the bags, because children are just curious like that, and found a lovely picture book. Of course, it was still muggle, and all muggle things were to be Dust-ified, but Draco decided to keep this picture book because he felt like it.

What a silly spoiled child.

Later, when he started tracking blood on the Persian carpets on the way to his room, he decided to call Dobby to clean up all traces of what he had done. So it was that Draco's obsession came to be, and the first seeds of insanity were sown in Dobby's heart, causing him to actually want to rebel against such acts of crime-scene clean up.

Remember to feedback! Onegaishimasu. Constructive criticism welcome.