Geek Chic meets Electro-Techno
by AnitaLife
Oct. 15, 2009
Fandom: Mighty Boosh
Rating: G
Warnings & Spoilers & Slash: None, Zero, Zip, Zed
Complete, stand alone, but please read "Love Potion #Zed" & "Hieronymus Boosh". They're funny.
Don't own the characters or show, just play with them occasionally for fun and no profit.
Synopsis: Being a geek is all the rage and Vince can never resist a trend, but there are some trends it is better for Vince to not follow.
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"So what's it this time, eh?" Howard sighed upon entering the Nabootique.
"What you mean, Howard?"
"This?" Howard gestured over Vince upon seeing that the boy had undergone yet another fashion transformation.
Vince was sitting behind the counter pretending to use a PDA which was not turned on. He had a copy of "Computers Today" magazine opened in front of him. His legs were clad in loose fitting beige Docker brand trousers and his collared polo-style shirt bore the emblem of "Cyberdyne Systems" over the breast pocket that Vince had filled with an assortment of pens nicked from Stationary Village. A Bluetooth earpiece stuck out from his head. Square horn-rimmed glasses decorated his nose, though he had no need of vision correction.
Vince tried to prevent the heist, but Howard quickly snagged the magazine from the counter.
"I was reading that!" Vince objected.
"Upside down?" Howard observed. " 'Installing security systems for common gateway interface... Deploying Silver Light applications in a multi-platform environment.' You must be joking. What does that even mean?"
"It means give it here," Vince glared.
"Do you mind telling me what this is all about?"
"I'm a smart guy, Howard. I've got to keep up with the times."
"You don't even know how to use a computer."
"Well, I can learn," Vince tried. "Everyone's got a computer."
"Yeah. Everyone and their Nana, but I recall that you touched the register computer in Top Shop and it exploded on the spot," Howard stated amazed that Vince could get sucked into yet another thing he felt he had to be.
"That was a co-incidence."
"Remember when you went near the computer in the kiosk at Harrod's and it blew up immediately. More coincidence?"
"Must have been."
"Then there was the new computer they're using in that other revolting store you dragged me to, Bumphuk," Howard observed. "After you walked by it, the thing automatically ordered 174 kilts for the Fall line."
"What of it?"
"It was early Spring and no one was wearing kilts that season—not even in Scotland."
"It must have been faulty. Cistern failure is a common octo-curence," Vince said, mal-appropriately.
"What you on about? Systems failure? Vince, you don't speak that way. You don't even speak their way."
"Yeah, well I do now. I'm a nerd."
"You're a what?"
"You heard me. I'm tetch shaa-vy."
"You mean 'tech saavy' and I don't think so, Little Man. You might be tetchy for sure."
"I read comic books. Look, I've got Sand Man, Green Lantern and X-Men under the counter so Naboo won't catch me reading them." Vince produced the alleged contraband then stuffed it back down.
"I've watched every episode of Star Track Toss, Next Regenerator, Deep Space Six and Dowager more than once."
"Star Trek huh?"
"And what ARE you listening to?" Howard said as he winced away from the player.
"Right now, Weezer, but I've got Weird Al, Jonathan Coulton, Nerf Herder and They Might Be Giants."
Howard grinned and started to laugh. Vince just had to keep up with the trend of the moment. It must have killed him to be left out of this one, just by his amazing lack of book-based smarts, his complete disinterest in science fiction and his dearth of even basic technical skills.
"It's a wonder you can operate a toaster without burning down the flat," Howard told him.
"Easy on!" Vince shot back. "I can use a toaster."
"You can't drive a car," Howard continued.
"I could if I had to," Vince lamely defended.
"You stay out of lifts."
"Claustro."
"You don't use escalators."
"Are you finished?"
"Remember that computerized hair dryer you got?" Howard reminded him.
"That was a sprite in the elecushical lines," Vince defended, not knowing the right words.
"The fridge with the computerized ice maker," Howard snuffed.
Naboo entered the shop, and joined in. "Now we know what happens when a fridge explodes."
"I just touched it." Vince's voice strained. "I wanted to get some milk."
"My point exactly," Howard stated dryly. "Have you ever heard of King Midas?"
"What? The bloke who turned everything he touched to gold? Yeah, what about him?"
"Well, you're just like him only you turn every piece of electronics to rubbish."
"Do not!"
"Bollo cappucino maker?" Bollo reminded Vince.
"I'm still finding expresso grounds in places they're not supposed to be," Howard added.
"Vince perfect the way he is. No need to be nerd," Bollo consoled the wannabee geek. Vince could not help but grin at Bollo's affection.
Naboo shook his head. He and Bollo went up to their apartment and left the pair to their bickering and usual nonsense.
"What about your party life?" Howard asked.
"Well, I'm going out with my new mates tonight to a Star Party," Vince announced proudly.
"Now that's more like it. What stars are going to be there?" Howard asked.
"No, Howard, it's an Astrololmee gig," Vince said as if he were talking to a child.
Just then the geek brigade burst into the shop, strapped down with a variety of astronomy and telescopic equipment, as well as a laptop each and some guide books to the heavens.
"We're going to be doing a Messier hunt tonight," one of the geekier ones told him. "You're welcome to come along."
"Astronomy, is it? Well, Howard Moon knows his way around a telescope sir," Howard chimed in.
"Oh really," Vince shot skeptically. "Which end do you look through?"
"You don't always have to look through a telescope, Vince. Sometimes a telescope looks through you."
"Is that so," Vince snarked.
"An adventurer needs to know how to navigate by his wits and the stars alone."
"Leaves you out then, don'it," Vince shot as he rolled his eyes.
"Vince, I know the night sky in several hemispheres like I know the back of my hand, sir," Howard stated with pride.
"Really. What's that hair growing out of there?"
"What?" Howard regarded his hand like he had never seen it before.
Suddenly one of the laptops began to smoke and the nerd who owned it went into a panic as he ripped open its bag and extinguished it.
"It was brand new," he said in dismay. "Barely had it out of the box!"
A whirring sound 'bizzed' from one of the telescope cases. It's owner threw open the case to find his prize was running itself and grinding delicate gears.
"Looks like the tracking mechanism failed. I know I turned it off before I put it away. This is very strange."
Howard lifted an eyebrow in Vince's direction.
"Ah, I think I'm going to beg off for tonight," Vince told them.
"Sure, sure," said their leader. "It looks like we're going to have a bad night in any case. We're down one computer and the largest telescope."
"My smartPhone6000 says it is going to rain after all," one geek announced. "I guess the night's a wash. Sorry Vince."
"Hey, catch you next time," Vince lied.
The Astronomy group left. Howard watched Vince as he continued to pretend to read the techno-babble in the computer magazine, which he still held upside down.
"Fancy a drink, then?" Howard asked.
Vince eagerly bopped off his chair like a high strung jack-in-the-box, nearly toppling it over. The magazines, comics and PDA were left behind without a thought and the pair of mates went off to the pub.
fin
Noel has made it clear that he's a "simpleton" when it comes to machines of any kind, but everyone has got a computer. It's all very trendy. So many people are geeks and nerds that ironically we're the trendy ones. That's got to play with his fashion-conscious brain.
Before going to SDCC Noel said that comics were for "nerds". Upon arriving at SDCC, he reverted to complete fanboy, stole a golf cart and went to chase down Gene Simmons of KISS. Methinks there is a schism with dear Noelio, who wants to be cool so bad, but hey, he's really just "Gooble Gobble, one of us!"
Please R&R and read Love Potion #Zed & Hieronymus Boosh