Author note : Hello my dear friend ! Welcome inside my crazy mind !

This fic is really...different, and crazy.

It's a crossover fic between Rurouni Kenshin and Oruchuban Ebichu (Ebichu Minds the House), which is an ecchi, telling the story of a talking Hamster who wants to help her owner with her boyfriend Kaishonachi (litteraly 'useless man'). It's hilarious but pervert so I won't tell you to watch it but you might see the opening to have an idea of what Ebichu looks like.

www . youtube dot com / watch?v = Pfvp7kCpbX k

You don't really have to know that manga to enjoy the story ^^ I'll put some other information at the end of the story.

The first two chapter settle the story (cause yeah there is a story) and after, the guest will show up !

I hope you'll have a nice time reading it cause I had a great time writing it !

Disclaimer : I don't own Rurouni Kenshin and Oruchuban Ebichu. But I plan on buying an Hamster and calling her Ebichu one day.

Chapter one : Featuring QueenPotatos...

An misunderstanding

Hi everybody.

I'm a normal and happy Rurouni Kenshin fan girl, just like you. I'm completely crazy about the Live Action movie right now...just like you...But, I've got a huge secret.

I'm sure you have notice that my pen name is QueenPotatos...but, are you sure it's only a pen name?

Well, I must tell you that, the answer is no!

I am...the Queen of all the Potatoes in the world! - Don't move. I'm really talking about Kenshin later in this fiction I promise.

One night, after saying my prayers to our Goddess - the Goddess of all the Potatoes in the world… You're still following right? -, I went to sleep, thinking of how cool Lupus* was - I love...weird auto immune diseases-, when, suddenly, I heard a voice talking inside of my head. I first thought it was a dream but...but...

"Potatos...Potatoooos! My lovely Queen...It's...Me! Your Goddess!" whispered the peculiar Voice.

"What? I can't believe it!" I thought immediately. Internal Medicine is really working hard on me...

"I found a large truck full of Camembert and ice cream today, so I'm in a particularly good mood! I chose to grant one of your dearest wishes." The Voice continued, its tone remaining low and hushed.

"Objection!*" I cried with a hypothetical finger pointed in front of me. "Can you prove that you are my Goddess? Where is your evidence?"

"Hum...with my mystical powers...I can see...that you were thinking Lupus is cool! Erk! How can you?! This is a very serious disease!"

Oh my gosh, I thought again, she really does have great powers! "But...I can't help it...I like critical patients! I know it's bad..."

"Anyway" the Voice carried on nonchalantly, "think of your dearest wish my Queen! Think...wisely!"

What shall I do?

I can...find a way to cure AIDS? Win a Nobel Prize? Date Alex Turner? Possess Watsuki-sensei's body for a minute and make him draw a "Kenshin and Kaoru kissing scene"? - I have a great sense of priorities...-

"Okay then!" concluded the voice. "I've seen your wish with my great powers! I'll send you into the Rurouni Kenshin World to see Kenshin and Kaoru kissing each other!"

What?

No! No, no, no, no!

However, it was too late. I could feel my body levitating and my vision becoming blurred. Everything around me went black and I started my descend into the unknown...

I felt my back hurting violently as I landed on the ground. Then, I heard someone say something like "Oro" and a woman's cry. In that moment, I wasn't really able to breathe so that didn't seem to be really important...

God that hurts! I must have broken my spine. I won't be able to walk again! I won't be able to be a doctor! I won't be able to play Just Dance! Ever! Goddess of Potatoes, if you hear me, SCREW YOU!

As I tried to move, I felt a great pain in my stomach. I ended up passing out. Youhou!* Great holidays, really, thank you, I'm really happy you chose to grant my DEAREST wish 'cause I'm having such a good time here.

When I woke up, I was laying on the ground again. Well, on a futon, approximately the same thing, with a rock under my head that appeared to be a pillow upon further examination. I managed to sit upright, looking around the room I was in. It was a wooden interior with a sliding door. I stood up and opened the shoji; it led me into the garden. There, a little boy was playing with a small red ball while his parents were sitting behind a tree, kissing each other.

I was still a little bit befuddled, but I was shocked to see so much ginger hair in Japan during the Meiji Era. Maybe Kenshin wasn't an exception after all...

That's when evidence hit me.

The 'Oro'...the red hair...the fact that I was rescued by complete strangers...

I was at the Kamiya dojo!

I fell flat on my butt. The sound that my royal backside made against the ground made everybody in the courtyard look at me.

"Oro?"

"Look Kenshin, she's awake!" said Kaoru, obviously very happy. If I had been a terrorist or another one of Justin Bieber's fans*, it would have been the same thing. Maybe I should play with her a little.

"People of this dojo, I thank you very much for saving me." I said very politely, bowing. "Let me introduce myself. I'm Queen Potatos. And I'm the Queen of the holy lands of potatoes, where all the happy potatoes lives, and go swimming in seas of peanuts oil."

"Potatoe!" screamed Kenji, still playing with his red balloon.

"And where are the lands in which you live in, Potato-dono?" asked Kenshin.

Kyaaaa!

He called me Potato-donoooo! Please, stop blushing. Really, stop blushing RIGHT NOW. Kaoru's going to kill you otherwise. But that's so cute! And he is so cute. So...so...Okay now you are as red as Kenji's balloon. Hmm, very clever…

"My country is...on the other side of the ocean!" I answered him. That's right; potatoes come from America after all.

But where was my real home? Two centuries later? How can I explain that situation? 'My Goddess misunderstood my greatest wish and sent me here so I can see you kissing each other?'

…

Wait a minute...

"My, you made a very long trip, that you do" Kenshin commented, his eyes wide as saucers.

"If you want my Queen, you can stay here at the dojo until you find a way to go back to your home. The harbor is only a twenty minutes' walk. If there is something we can do to help..."

A way to go back home…? Maybe I've got the answer...

"I think you can help me, that you do." I replied. Oh my god. Am I really talking like that? I need to get out of here and quickly. "I've been...cursed, by a very evil person...and that's why I'm here! But I know how to break the curse..."

"Evil grrr!" said Kenji, running into his mother's arms.

"And what shall we do to break your curse?" Questioned the young ginger's lovely mother.

Well, either I am a very talented writer and manage to find a really good story in less than fifteen seconds, or...

"Only love can break the malediction! Only a true and beautiful love...Something like your love. I can see it! You're perfect for each other! Your love can release me! All you have to do...is kiss each other!"

Kaoru nearly lost hold of Kenji and Kenshin dropped his jaw. Maybe I wasn't being very convincing. I was preparing to sigh when Kenshin suddenly took Kaoru's face in his hand and delicately joined his lips with hers in a very chaste kiss.

I could feel the butterflies in my stomach flying! There it is! The moment we all wanted to see! If only I have brought my phone, it could have made a good picture...-wait a minute. What is that in my jean's pocket...? Eh. I'll come back to it later.

When their lips parted from the kiss, the two of them looked at my blissful face and smiled at me. A flash of light appeared all around me, enveloping me. I closed my eyes: that wasn't worth a Nobel Prize but it was a very good moment indeed. I can finally return home in peace.

Well, that's what I was thinking – and you would probably be thinking that this story is crap but...wait for it. The white luminous glow condensed into a small sphere that touched the ground before it disappeared into the dirt. And from that light surfaced...

" Kyaaaaaaaaaaa! A rat!" cried Kaoru, jumping into Kenshin's arms.

"It's not...a rat..." I said, completely hallucinating.

"I'm not a rat, you old and frigid woman! I'm Ebichu the hamster! Oruchuban Ebichu! Dechuuuuu.*"

I couldn't believe it. That voice...it was... THE Voice! Ebichu was my Goddess! She was the one who sent me here...She was the one who mistook my wish...The one that got me struck here...

"Ebiiiichuuuuu" I groaned.

"Nanona?" She answered, her forefinger resting on her mouth, blinking rapidly.

The next thing the little hamster saw was my fist and her own blood pouring from her nose as she flew across the courtyard to end up fitted into the wall's dojo.

"Aaah...I was just...trying to help...chun chun…" She whispered.

Kenji jumped from his mother's arm and ran to the poor bloody Ebichu. He took a branch and touched the hamster with the tip. He repeated his maneuver a certain amount of times before his parents finally stopped blinking and started laughing.

As the day went on, I finally get the chance to talk to my Goddess Ebichu before Kaoru started making dinner. We didn't have a lot of time, if we wanted to get out of this time trip alive, we had to return home before eating Kaoru's food – and I'm very serious. Kaoru could have defeated Shishio just by giving him a single onigiri.

"Ebichu...you...the Goddess...I can't believe it!" I started, still not really believing what I was seeing.

"I know, Ebichu is very beautiful and sexy, but-"

"I'm not talking about that! I was suppose to go home now that I've seen them kissing!" I told her, pointing to Kenshin and Kaoru drinking tea inside the dojo.

"Ah-ha! That's what it costs to say "screw you" to a Goddess." She retorted with a sadistic eye.

"But I don't even want to be here! You misunderstood my wish first. I wanted a Nobel Prize."

"And Ebichu wanted a Camembert, but she's not complaining like an old virgin who's too shy to buy a dildo!"

"But you already ate Camembert you stupid rat!"

"...Camembert..." she said, salivating.

How could that totally moronic hamster be my beloved Goddess? Even my houseplant had a better IQ...

"You called me "houseplant"?" Growled Ebichu, her voice turning terrifyingly venomous.

I looked at her and saw her eyes had turned dark and...And...I watched helplessly as her little form doubled, equaling my height until her size jutted me out. There was now a three meter hamster in the middle of the Kamiya dojo.

"DECHUUUU" Groaned the giant hamster.

"Oh, I know! It's just a nightmare." I said very calmly. "I'm going to wake up very soon. I'm sure I fell asleep reading some dermatology's books again. I should really drink more coffee next time."

"Pinch!" said Kenji, literally pinching my cheek. Kaoru and Kenshin had mysteriously appeared next to me, Kaoru holding her child, who was amazed by the gargantuan living form inside his house, but not really scared. That's because he is too small to figure out what it is, I thought. Little kids aren't receptive to magic tricks.

But to my greatest surprise, his parents weren't scared either. Kaoru was frowning, probably thinking hard about something and Kenshin was just staring, calculating his chance to defeat the giant form.

"I'm not really sure…" Started Kaoru. "But I think Iwanbo was taller".

"I'm glad master Hiko decided to help this lowly self, that I am," added Kenshin with a nod. "I'm taking care of this while you put Kenji to bed. I'll be there in a few minute. Don't worry baby...ouch!"

Kenji had just pulled his hair.

How can he defeat giant Ebichu when he can't even dodge his son's fingers?

"I think a Ryu Sho Sen should do it," Kaoru whispered. I'm beginning to think that everybody can read my mind in here. I really have to go home quickly.

After just a single blow, Ebichu fell unconscious on the ground and went back to her original shape. Kenji brought her to my room and made her a little bed for tonight. At that point, I thought nothing could go worse.

That was before eating Kaoru's cooking.

The day after, I was lying on my bed, not really wanting to get up. There was nothing interesting to do in the dojo, except cleaning the household, and it wasn't my cup of tea. Speaking of tea, I'd like a large cup of jasmine tea...with a croissant...But croissants don't exist yet in Japan. Damn it. Ebichu I'm going to kill-

"Tada!" exclaimed the little Hamster, holding me a hot croissant.

"How-how did you do that!?" I nearly screamed.

"I'm a Goddess. I can summon anything I want! Do want some coffee with your croissant my Queen?" she asked me.

"Oh yes with some milk and an orange juice!" I answered with my cheerful voice.

"Then kick your ass and prepare it yourself!" she groaned, throwing the croissant in my face. That was more than I could handle. I took the little form in my little hand and pressed her against the wall.

"You're gonna listen to me carefully Ebichu...why am I still here? They kissed each other...twice! And I'm still here! I'm on duty tomorrow with Doctor Love and I can't miss that!"

"Arg...Ebichu is...sorry...problem with the wish...arg...Need to breathe..."

"You're a Goddess ! Don't tell me you need to breath." I said very seriously.

"Arg! How do you know Ebichu's little secret!? You're a witch." She added with narrowed eyes.

"Just tell me already. I'm sick of it." I finally let her down and reached my bed once more. The whole situation was turning me crazy. A lambda fan girl would have been very pleased to be here with her favorite manga character, but, I'm a medicine student, I can appreciate anything that stops me from working.

"Maybe...maybe Ebichu messed up with the person who has to kiss..." She started with her little voice.

"I've seen that. You're not teaching me anything new, little rat."

"I'm not a rat!" She stopped shouting when she saw my angry face and continued. "I think...you're the one who needs a love kiss!"

"WHAT !?" I jumped on my feet. Have I heard the right words? ME? KISS? LOVE?

"You're only working on your books, then, working in the hospital, you're never out with friends or boys! You need love more than anything! That was your secret wish and I'm gonna grant it! Dechuuuuu!"

She flew to the opposite wall after I slapped her with all my strength.

Then, I was here, at the Kamiya dojo, waiting for prince charming to come and kiss me. I know I should have watched more Disney films. That would have been much easier. Well, where is prince charming for a 21st century girl. Maybe he could be hiding in Meiji Era?

Author Note : So yes ! I have to find my soul mate in Kenshin's World...what an horrible nightmare...haha I'm joking! I'm sure you've noticed some '*' here and there on the script...They're just here to give you some informations about some references.

*Lupus : also called systemic lupus erythemarosus, is an auto immune disease where part of our immune system attack our own body : vassels, kidney, skin...It's a very rare but serious disease that can lead to kidney failure and miscarriage. Even death if you're not lucky...It affect young women mostly. As it's complicated and serious and rare, I love Lupus XD

*Objection! : here I'm imitating the principal protagonist of Phoenix Wright : Ace Attorney. It's a game developped by Capcom for Nindento DS, where you play the role of an...ace attorney. And it's AWESOME !

* Youhou! : I don't think you say that in US or English speaker's country but it's an onomatopoeia I used a lot. Usually it shows enthousiasm, but here it was more cynical.

*Justin Bieber : I know, now it's more One Direction but hopefully, I'm hermetic to that sort of ...music...(it hurts to say that it's actually music)

*Ebichu's way of speaking : Kenshin has his "de gozaru", Ebichu has her 'dechu'...it's an hamster so don't be rude with her!

That's it ! If you have a few more question, reviews ! If you think it's stupid...well, you're an idiot but we're in democrasy so you can review too...

Next chatper will be out very soon ! Thank you for reading!