Author's Note:) As you may have guessed this isn't Mina256's work. (Or
Lyta-chan's) It's way too predictable for that! Okay, I'll stop.
I have to usethat joke later on, anyway:) So...this is Diana of
Felis (My Autobiography is coming soon.) I saw SM Super,
then Super S, but nothing prepared me for SAILOR MOON SAILOR STARS:)
The plot line is so twisted, it's great! I do use the Japanese name,
so be warned. If you don't like this (or if you do), send all your
wonderful e-mail to Just put "Felis" and the name
of the story under "Subject".:) And remember, otaku, this is my story,
so you won't be learning much about the actual plot of Sailor Stars,
but if you copy it you'll learn a lot about my fist! Reminder:) Be
sure to read THE Diana of Felis Saga:)
I love my smiley! Don't you:)
Sailor Stars: PREDICTABILITY
Part 1: "Part One? Now That's Predictable!"
or
"Zaaaaaaaaaa?"
(One right hand briskly swept through some long
white hair, not noticing that a strand had broken loose.
On its flight down to the table below it, it landed in
an unsuspecting cup of coffee!)
Seiya: Ummmmmmm...Yaten?
Yaten: Hai?
Seiya: Stop flinging your hair around! You got it in my
coffee, and you look like you're flirting with someone in the next country!
(Taiki facefaults as he sweeps the table clean of all the white hair.)
Yatin: Ya know, I've been getting in touch with my feminine side
recently. You guys should try it!
(Seiya and Taiki's eyes get as big as tennis balls,
but then go back when they see that they're attracting attention from the
other people in the coffee shop.)
Taiki: No way! We only do that when the world needs saving!
Yaten: You do it your way...I'll do it mine!
(He breaks into a verse of "I Love My Hair", to the tune
of "Mary Had A Little Lamb. The other two blink in unison.)
Taiki: Doctor? I think the patient seems to be having those "attacks" again.
Seiya: Yes, nurse. You seem to be right...
Yaten: I--love my hair, love my HAIR, love my hair. I love my...
Taiki: Ready to apply the treatment, doctor?
Seiya: The proper question would be: Is HE ready for it?
(Yatin stops when he notices his two brothers smiling evilly at him.)
Yaten: Hey, guys! What's u...AHHHHHHHHhhhh!
(A brown, red-hot liquid sprang from accross the
table all over him. Yaten stood up rapidly, and made a very
predicatble statement.)
Yaten: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY HAIR!
(Just then a young woman at the far end of the shop stood up and
pointed a finger at Yaten. Everyone in the coffee shop turned
around to look at the woman, even Seiya and Taiki, who were
rolling on the floor in laughter.)
Woman: Oh my God! It's the THREEEEEE LIGHTTTTTSSSSSS!
Yaten: Guys, that was a bad thing, right? ...Guys?...Guys!
(Yaten quickly looked around him only to see no trace
of his brothers, except for the revolving door, which
was going about 100 mph. Yaten did the fastest anime
facefault in the history of the world and...)
Yaten: Yipe!
(Made a very predicatble choice of action.)
Yaten: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Leader of the coffee shop fan mob: Get them! Divide the
other two amongst yourselves, but bring me Seiya in one peice!
Single fan girl member: How come you get Seiya:angered tone:
Leader: Because I'm the one standing on the table making the demands!
Single fan: Ooooh, true...good point!
Leader: Now, my Three Lights Fan Club Leigion, after them!
All: Hai!
(Yaten miraculously caught up with the other two who had been
running at full speed.)
Taiki: Who knew our fans had heliocopters?
Seiya: Who knew our fans had tanks?
Yaten: I didn't!
(Yaten sped past the other two, trying to escape the drooling mob
behind them.)
Drooling Mob: Oh, Three Lights! You're SOoooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooo coooooollllllll! Sing for us...yeah...Come on!
Yaten: Maybe if we stop and sing, they'll go away after a few songs.
(Still running, the other two looked and blinked as best as they
could at 50 mph.)
Taiki & Seiya: ARE YOU CRAZY!
Taiki: Stop?
Seiya: For free?
(Taiki and Yaten look at each other, look at the cheap skate,
look at each other...)
Drooling Mob: Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Lightsssssssssssss
ssssssssssssssssss!
Yaten: Guys, doesn't this make you want to go shopping?
(Yaten beamed as Seiya prepared to bean him, while Taiki
still running, must not forget the mob! held Seiya back.)
Seiya: Listen, one more "I'm getting in touch with my feminism"
statement, and I'm gonna...huh?
(The Three Lights stop, because in front of them is a very
big and suspiciously new brick wall.)
Taiki: Whoah...dead end.
Yaten: A dead end in the middle of Tokyo?
(Yaten stood there blinking at the phenomenon, as the other
two constructed a plan and the fans, tabloid helicopters, and
tanks (?) moved in for the...autographs? (Well, what did 'ya
think they wanted? Blood? Well...)
Seiya: Ooookay..now what?
Taiki: I got an idea! Come on!
Seiya: What is it?
Yaten: A brick wall...in the middle of Tokyo...a brick wall
...here...in the...
Seiya: Shut up and come on!
Yaten: But it's a...
Seiya: I wouldn't care if it was Chibi-Chibi! Get over here!
Yaten: Actually...no one would!
(Yaten starts running. Both Yaten and Seiya catch up to Taiki.)
Taiki: Hey, Yaten! Looks like you're going to get your wish..
Yaten: Zaaaaaa?
(All three run into a women's department store, and into an
empty dressing room stall.)
Seiya: Ok, what's with the...
Yaten: Hey you guys...
Both "guys" turn and blink..hard. (Is it possible to blink
hard? Now it is!)
Yaten: Do you think this makes me look fat? Personally, I
think it accents my eyes.
(The two looked him over as he held against himself a blue
dress that somone had left in the tiny cubicle, with: a collar,
buttons down the front, thigh lenght skirt, and matching
accessories, hat, beads, the works.)
Seiya: I'll accent your eyes, Yaten!
Taiki: Guys, guys! Calm down! Now, just follow my lead!
Maker Star Power, Make Up!
(Blue light surrounds Taiki, then it turns a light pink.
His anatomy changes just a tad (being very sarcastic), and
ends in a fighting stance, clad in the scandalous, black
leather fuku that the SailorStarLights are known for!)
Seiya: Oh, I get it! It's the old "Use your hidden powers
to escape satanic, drooling mobs" trick!...how predictable!
Fighter Star Power, Make Up!
Yaten: Don't give away the enitre plot so soon!
Healer Star Power, Make Up!
(After transforming, they all packed their fukus in their purses,
as they dress in the clothes that were left in the dressing
room. They walk out to see the crowd leader and the crowd behind
her talking to the manager of the store, all nearly shouting.
The StarLights leave a bunch of money on the front desk and walk
calmly out of the store, past the mob.)
Healer: Well, see, now that you're out in the sunlight,
you can see that those shoes were navy and not black! Now don't we feel
clashy?
Fighter: Shut up or I'll punish you in the name of the stars
...uhhh..I mean I'll kick you hard...heh...heh...
Healer: Are you gonna threaten me with bodily harm through out this lampoon?
Fighter: Yep.
Healer: Well, that was predicatble!
Fighter: That's the title! Don't wear it out!
Healer: Don't worry, we will.
(The crowd streched outside the store. Two girls at the back of the mob,
trying to get in the store, turned and watched three unusual "women"
walk off into the forested city park, down the street
Both girls had traditional school unforms on, only one had a bow in
front with an unusual jewelry piece attached to the middle. The other
had the two sides if her scarf tied with a red bead in front.
The one with the unusual jewlery had an unusual hairstyle, too.
Two round and blonde odango sat on her head as the rest of her
hair flowed out in pigtails behind her. The other kept her
extremely long blonde hair up in a red bow.)
Usagi: Hey, Minako-chan! Maybe they know where we can get a bite
to eat around here!
Minako: Usagi, we're not here for food! I'm here to find Yaten,
and you're here to find Seiya. Hey, look...
(Usagi took her eyes off the weird ladies, only to see a familar
person inside the store, attacking the manager. :)
Setsuna: ...want Taiki, and you're gonna give 'em to me!
:crowd joins in:)
Usagi: SETSUNA:)
(Minako and Usagi bang on the window of the store to get their
friend's attention. Setsuna fades out and materializes in front
of them outside...well...almost!)
Setsuna: Owww! That window looked a hell of a lot closer from
over there...hold on..
(She releaved her face of the glass as she dispersed her
molecules through the wall and stood on the other side with her
friends and a broken nose. Her company got sweat drops on their
heads because of the timekeeper's miscalculations.)
Usagi: Minako? Since you're sorta my therapist. could you help
me out with something?
Minako: Sure, Usagi! What's up?
Usagi: Well, I think I can foresee the future!
Setsuna: Hey, that's my job:rubbing her nose:
Minako: (to Setsuna) No, it's your job to go there! Really,
Usagi, when did this start?
Usagi: Next Monday. :all three walk towards park:
(Minako and Setsuna, seeing that it was Thursday, and
that there was already a disgusting running joke involving
Mamoru about Thursday, just blinked as they entered the park.)
Setsua: This new ability of hers isn't going to ruin the plot, is it Minako?
Minako: That's not possible, Setsuna!
Setsuna: How come?
Minako: Oh, come on! How many times in all the Senshi
series have you just seen Moon, Venus, and Pluto standing
around talking in the middle of the park, no less with
trees, in the middle of Tokyo! This SCENARIO can't be good for the plot!
Usagi: Guys, stop talking about how boring we are! I'm getting a vision!
Setauna & Minako: Tell us! Tell us!
Rei: She's stealing my powers! Soon the little meatball
head will want to control fire, too!
Mako: You can't get mad at her now!
Rei: Why the Hell not?
Mako: Becuase you're not in this scene, and you haven't
been getting any visions since Saturn came in! Where is Hotaru anyway?
(Brief shot of Chibi-Usa and Hotaru walkin Luna, Artemis.
and Diana in the park. Well...it's not actually a walk..
you see, Luna, Artemis, and Diana didn't want to come)
Luna: How long does it take for fur to grow back?
Artemis: MEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!
Diana is dragged behind...Ouch!
Well, that's it for now:) It was getting to be predicatble,
don't you think? But...then again a prophecizing Usagi?
(Who is the main reason why everything is predicatble)
A female-sided fashion freak, Yaten? A Setsuna having a
miscalculation in time travel? A Seita who's for violence on
television! A forever blinking Minako? (well, that's pretty
predicatble:) But maybe I've gone wrong somewhere! Maybe...
I'm just having an insecurity attack! Please like my story! Please
please: ..ahem...NE way:) Next time, see Usagi's prediction,
little updates on Hotaru and Chibi Usa bonding with the cats, or
bonding them to high chairs and playing house! (Saturn re-lived her
childhood literally, but she's not quite over it yet)...And will
there be one Sailor Star Light at the end? Will Fighter acutally
kill Taiki, who is holding him back, to get at Yaten and his freaky
fashion advice? Will Neptune, Uranus, Mercury, or Tuxedo Mask
make it into the plot line? Only time will tell! But then Setsuna
would never know that! (I think that last bump on the nose injured
her sense of time!) Ooooh...that's scary! Maybe that's why I'm always
late?
-Sayonara,
Diana of Felis
Authors Note :) Hello minna:) This is Felis again! NE way,
if you just came into this story... you're gonna be very lost!
But, still, I'll give you a recap! (But still read the other one:)
LAST TIME ON SAILOR STARS: PREDICTABILITY:)...
Usagi was receiving a prediction about the future while she was in
the park with Minako and Setsuna, chasing the 3 Lights (who at the
moment were women that were running from a crazy mob, but in the
safety of the woods had de-transformed and were walking happily. :)
:Deep inhailing breath: Hope you enjoy this product of my
twisted mind and sense of humor:) Oh yeah, one more thing...MOON :)
ETERNAL MAKE UP:)
Sailor Stars: PREDICTABILITY
Part Two:
"No, I'm not going to use the same joke as last time!"
OR
"I Really Didn't Need to Know That!"
(The Three Lights can be seen in the middle of a great mass
of trees, in the middle of a great forest in...)
Yaten: ...in the middle of Tokyo?
Seiya: 'Ya know, if I didn't know better, I'd say he was dropped
on his head as a child.
Yaten: Anyway, I'm glad we get back in our normal clothes when
we de-transform. That bra was cutting me right here...
Taiki: Uh...thank you for sharing...Um...did we really loose that mob, guys?
Seiya: Yeah, pretty sure. So, what do we do now?
Taiki: Let's try to write some songs...
Seiya: Great, more chart-topping hits to bring more blood-thirsty
fans to our doors!
Yaten: So, do you wanna start?
Seiya: Sure! Uh...but where are we gonna sit, what are we gonna
write on, write with?
Taiki: Nooooooooooooooooo problem!
(Taiki reaches into his shirt, but not in his shirt. He reaches way deep
down into his space-time pocket and pulls out three LARGE oak desks, 6
packets of 200 sheet paper, 5 cushy chairs, 4 #2 pencils, 3 electric
guitars, 2 powerful speakers, and a...partridge in a pear tree?)
Taiki: How the hell did that get in there?
(Yaten and Seiya blink...what else is there for them to do?)
Yaten: That was predictable!
Seiya: Taiki?
Taiki: Hai?
Seiya: Was that your space-time pocket?
Taiki: Hai.
Seiya: The one that holds your transformation tool?
Taiki: Hai.
Seiya: THEN WHERE DID ALL THIS CRAP COME FROM? It's just a pocket,
not another dimension!
Taiki: I like to think of it as my "Magic Bag of Tricks":)
Yaten: Great, my brother, Felix the Cat..the wonderful...wonderful...Cat?
Zaaaa?
(So the open area where the Three Lights stood, thanks to Taiki,
strangely resembles the Three Lights main office, complete with pottted
plant and a weird remenence of air freshener. Whoa...Scary!)
Taiki: Anyone got any ideas for some lyrics?
Yaten: Oh! I had a great idea for a commercial for our new and upcoming
concert!
Seiya: Really!...You had an idea:)
(The other two glare at Seiya, and he gets a huge sweat drop on his
head.)
Yaten: Yes, I did. I got the idea from another commer...
Taiki: Ya know, you don't have to be so rude, Seiya!
Seiya: What do you mean?
Yaten: Now, how did that tune go?
Taiki: I'm saying that you're always picking on Yaten! No wonder
he acts stupid! It's all the bad mental feedback!
Yaten: Hey, guys! I got this song back in my hea...
Seiya: I always thought that was a god-given trait!
(Taiki and Seiya lean over their desks, both hands down, glaring
at each other, both looking very angry! Yaten decides to try the
song out without his brothers' attention.)
Taiki: Well...you should be thanking Yaten for that advice he gave
about your shoes this morning!
Seiya: Oh yeah, thanks Yaten! Like I really care if my getaway shoes
match my getaway dress!
Taiki and Seiya: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Yaten: MeEEEow meow meow meow meow meowmeow meow meow...
(Yaten sings on as the others turn their heads slightly, staring
wide-eyed at him...unable! to! blink!)
Seiya: You were supporting THAT?
Taiki: Shhhhhhhh...I think I hear something behind those bushes!
Yaten: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow MeowMeow Meow...
Seiya: Someone shut him up!
Taiki: They're coming!
(Both jump over Yaten's desk and grab him out of his chair on the way
to the ground.)
Yaten: Meow me...Zaaaaa? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:crash:
(The Three Lights look aver the top of the desk to see the bushes
moving (fearing the mob's leader and the mob) but seeing two, pink,
egg-shaped odango, and a thin, short-black-haired girl, peeking over
the bushes. They walk through and seem to be carrying some things...)
Super Sailor Chibi-Moon: I really miss Helios. A lot.
(Chibi is holding Artemis by the throat, fitting a curvy stick to his
forehead at his crescent moon, while Saturn gives Luna a hug of death,
then throws her up in the air...and down. And up and down and up
and down...well, you get the idea! Also, a leash is hanging
off Chibi's arm. At the other end...well, let's see how else to say
it...Diana drags...ouch. The Three Lights breathe a calm sigh,
while Taiki and Seiya both smack Yaten in the back of the head.)
(Meanwhile, elsewhere in the other, non-furnished parts of the woods,
Minako and Setsuna huddle around Usagi, who is holding her arms out in
a sleep-walker postion with palms up, crescent moon glowing. Rei and
Mako moniter this from a little over a foot away.)
Usagi: It's coming...something bad's going to happpen soon!
Setsuna: Uh oh... that's never good!
Minako: That's because it's "bad", Setsuna!
Setsuna: I knew that!...Hey, does anyone know what time it is?
:scratching her head:
Minako: Yeah, it is getting kind of la...wait, you don't know?
Usagi: (in a robotic voice) It will be 3:45 in 2 minutes.
(Setsuna elbows Minako in the side.)
Setsuna: Wow! She's good!
Minako:sighs:
(They start to walk again, when they see Haruka and Michiru. Michiru
looks to be on the verge of crying.)
Usagi: Hey, guys! What 'cha up to?
Michiru: I'm sorry you had to hear this my queen...Haruka,
I WANT A DIVORCE!
(Haruka looks stunned, and the three behind her look even MORE, and
when I mean more MORE stunned, I mean MORE!)
Usagi: Didn't hear it!
Minako: Wasn't here!
Setsuna: Hear what?
Usagi & Minako: GOOD!
Rei: When the HELL did this happpen?
Mako: Don't blame me. It's not like I got an invitation!
Rei: Ooooh...:Blares out Japanese profanity as she stomps off the
screen:
(The three run away really fast! Soon they come to a clearing. Then
Setsuna has an idea.)
Setsuna: Hey! Can she predict if we'll ever find those Three Lights?
Minako: I don't know. Ask her!
Setsuna: Usagi, will we...
Usagi: That predictable question is good for the plot, and yes!
(Setsuna screams. Which was a bad thing because she's Setsuna! After
clearing enough space for a mini-mall, we see a brief shot of Saturn
and Chibi-Usa flying up-and-away on Chibi-Usa's "compatable" boyfriend,
dropping pink fliers and an occasional cat which they retrieve quickly.
The fliers read...)
Usagi: "My Mom's a cry baby, and she eats my snacks!"
Ooooooooooooooooooooo...that little spore!
Luna (In the background): MEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW
...:splat:
Setsuna: You mean you didn't forsee that coming?...I did!
Usagi:pulls Moon Eternal Tial out of her space-time pocket:
My story, My powers! Bad Pluto:proceeds to bean Setsuna
over the head:
Minako: Hey guys, what was that? I think I heard something over there---
Past those trees!
Usagi: I'm getting something..uh...uh...It's a...a...
Setsuna: MONSTER!
Usagi: I knew that! Hmph!
Minako: RUN!
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Usagi: Wait a second...
Setsuna: Wait a "WHAT"?
Minako: Zaaaaaaaa?
Usagi: We're the Sailor Senshi, and...:points at monster:
Minako and Setsuna: Oh, NO! Not again!
Usagi:Deep Inhailing Breath:Many Satanic hand movements:
Aito Segei No
Sailor fuku Bishoujo Senshi
(:SAILOR MOON:)
Tsuki ni kawatte,
oshiokiyo!
MOON ETERNAL MAKE UP!
Minako:Deep inhailing breath:
Aito Segei No
Sailor fuku Bishoujo Senshi
(:SAILOR VENUS:)
Kisei ni kawatte oshiokiyo!
VENUS CRYSTAL POWER, MAKE UP!
Setsuna: How many times do I have to tell them!
After you transform, AFTER!
PLUTO PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!
(The huge monster, with its huge, ugly, foaming mouth, disgustingly
oversized teeth, beaming red eyes, and big, three-fingered clawed hands,
stood about 10 feet over our heros!)
Eternal Sailor Moon: Ewwwwwwww. Gross, is that mold or hair?
Super Sailor Venus:shuddering: Don't want to know...just...
don't want...to...know!
Super Sailor Pluto: Hey, Moon, are we gonna get out of this awful
lampoon alive? Or, at least, intact?
ESMoon: I see a clearing where people are hiding from something,
three people...ummm, they will help!
SSVenus: Speaking of HELP!
(All the three senshi turn to run/ fly away from the hideous
fist coming down on top of them! But as they make a complete
rotation, they fail to notice something inportant as they are
screaming and running for their lives...Super Sailors Mars and
Jupiter running convieniently in the opposite direction! BAM!)
All: OWWW!
ESMoon: Why are you guys following us?
SSMars: Because we're trying to get the Best Supporting Comic Award
for Fan Fics!
SSPluto: There's an award for that?
SSMars: NO, you nimrod! There's no...
SSJupiter: Actually, there are awards given out in that area.
SSMars: But I was...
ESMoon: How interesting!
SSVenus: But I'm not sure if that one specifically exists..
SSMars: IT WAS A JOKE! A CRACK ON MOON! A SPOOF! A STUPID...
ESMoon: I think Mars would like to join out conversation.
SSMars: Oooooooooooo...That does it, I'm not going to fight
any monsters along...
(SSJupiter and Mars go off the screen, stomping again!)
SSVenus: Guys? Uh...the monster? It's destroying the forest!
ESMoon: Oh, yeah? HEY PIN HEAD! Yeah, you! Take this...
STARLIGHT HONEYMOON THERAPY KISS!
(The monster is blasted with white cleansing sprinkles that he rubs
out of his eyes, and changes course.)
ESMoon: Oh NO, it didn't work!
SSPluto: You were expecting it to?
SSVenus: That was predictable enough! The first attacks of a show never work!
ESMoon: I knew that...You mean it's like that on every episode?
SSVenus: Yep.
SSPluto: Oh, I get the TITLE to this thing now!
(The three run off to chase the creature. The creature has found its
way to the Three Light's office..I mean clearing, and...)
Seiya: This looks like a job for the Sailor Star Lights
:Yaten turns on a tape of old and cheezy Superman background music:
Taiki: A little louder! I don't think the people in Gotham know who we
really are yet!
It's official, folks! The author has run out of paper to print this on!
FIN:) Part 2
:) Soooo..I hope you enjoyed my part two! I know that I did! So sign on
next time to find out...
Will Eternal Moon ever realize the conveinient "organization" that her
show is in?
And will she ever figure out that her future daughter is dating her horse?
Will the Sailor Star Lights ever stop arguing long enough to do their
speech?
Will Uranus and Neptune seek marriage counceling?
Will Saturn ever GROW UP (mentally)?
Will any of these characters in this thing stop using the word ZAAA?
-of course not-DUH!
What does Zaaaaa? mean?
-I couldn't tell you with a clear mind!
Will I ever stop using the key or my PATENTED :):):)):):):)
Of course not! I LOVE MY SMILEY (don't you)?
Zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:) Answers to these and many more questions in the next
fix of
SAILOR STARS: PREDICTABILITY:)
-Sayonara:)
Diana of Felis
By: Diana of Felis:) Konechiwa Otaku:) Wow, #3 you guys must really be
hooked on this if you stayed this long! But that's good:) But I must
warn you. This story has been causing side effects!
CAUTION: Beware of the following:)--
:) Overuse of the word ZAAA:)
:) Naming pets/newborns...Zaaa:)
:) Worn out keys reported!
:) Brains lost due to the frustration of trying to find space time pockets!
:) Seeing :) -- in dreams and nightmares! (Repetive, aren't I:)
These are just a few..i just wanted to write a SM fanfic! I didn't wanna
hurt anybodyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:P
(:READ AT OWN PERIL:)
Sailor Stars: Predictability
Part 3: "Confrontation
(And I Mean That In the Worst Possible Way:)"
OR
"The Sailor Starlights Need A Life!"
(When we last left out clueless heroines/heroes, they were being attacked
by a huge, ugly, ten-foot-tall monster. The monster stands above them as
the Three Lights attempt to transorm...)
Yaten:elbows Seiya and Taiki in the side: Ahem, guys?...I
mean girls! Don't 'cha think we should be doing something right
about now:cough cough:
Taiki: Oh yeah! Umm...:looks at drooling monster, then at Seiya:
Seiya: We got to...uh..
All: ..Go to the bathroom!
(The three dash out of there in a streak of blue smoke..and keep running!)
Yaten: Uhh? Guys? Are we going to transform anytime soon?
Taiki: No way! Let Sailor Moon handle that hideously disgusting...
Seiya:breaking in: Astonishingly life size model of Yaten!
(Taiki gets a huge sweat drop on his head while Yaten's face turns a shade
of red that hasn't been discovered by humans yet!)
Yaten: I'M GOING TO HURT YOU!
Seiya: Gotta catch me first!
(Seiya begins to speed ahead of the other two, who were already running fast!
Yaten streches his arms out to grab Seiya's neck when..:BAM: They
all slam into one of the monster's feets.)
All: Ow.
Seiya: Predictable!
Yaten: Didn't we have that joke last episode:rubs head from collision:
Taiki: SHHHH! Don't tell them THAT!
(They all look up at the monster, who is looking back at them and still
drooling!)
Seiya: Do you think he's one of our fans?
Taiki: Somehow, I seriously doubt that!
Yaten: Yeah, he doesn't have a tank:Yaten beams:
(The other two glare at him with HUGE sweat drops and prepare to thwack him
within an inch of his life, when...)
Monster: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAAA!
All assembled: AHHHHHHHH!
(And, yet again,..RUN THE HELL OUTA THERE! THey run in the opposite
direction until they..come to the monster again! Zaaaa:)
Seiya: All right, not funny! Extremely predictable...JUST NOT FUNNY!
Taiki: The monster's so big that it just has to take one step to cut
us off, so there's only one thing we can do...
Yaten: Oh goody! The fun part!
Taiki: You scare me with how much you like this!
Seiya: I'll start. :Deep Inhailing Breath:
(The Lights stand around Seiya.)
Seiya: Yamio kirisaku sasuraino nagareboshi...
FIGHTER
Yaten:breaking in: HEALER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!
(Yaten transforms. Seiya looks pissed.)
Seiya: Why did you cut me off?
Healer: You were taking too long!
Seiya: So? That's no reason to...
Healer:breaking in again: I can cut you off whenever I want!
Seiya: Not when I'm about to transform, you idiot!
Healer: So?...I wanted to go first!
Seiya: But I'm the leader!
Healer: SAYS WHO?
Seiya: How dare you question my authority!
(Taiki stands staring ar the two squabling, looking very superior.)
Taiki: Here we go again!
Seiya: Hey, Healer! Your bra strap is showing!
Healer: AHHHHH! Where? It is NOT, you little...:stomps towards Seiya:
Taiki: I don't think it's a good idea to get Yaten mad right now.:Hint Hint:
Seiya: Why not? I can take him on! He was never much of a...Uh oh!
Healer:smiles evilly: STAR SENSITIVE INFERNO!
(Sailor Star Healer grabs a star out of no where, and a huge, white fire-
cloud shoots towards Seiya. Seiya facefaults...fast! )
Seiya: YIPE:Dodges out of way:
Taiki:shakes head: That's why!
(The two siblings, Seiya and Sailor Star Healer, run laps around a big oak
tree, one trying to escape a powerful senshi attack, and the other is...
well...just really pissed off right now!)
Healer: Kinda makes you wish you'd transformed faster, doesn't it?
Seiya: If you hadn't cut me off...
Healer: It's the stupid speech's fault! Why don't we cut it out?
Seiya: We can't. It's in our contract!
Taiki:sigh: ANYWAY:Deep inhailing breath:
MAKER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!
(Taiki transforms and runs after the others, who have decided to run in a
straight line, instead of around in a circle. The monster blinks...I really
can't imagine how stupid that sequence of events looked from 20 ft in the air,
because I really can't believe how stupid that looked from close up! So
the monster decides to change its course...)
(Somewhere, off in another part of the woods, the three senshi have turned
their attention to finding the monster and not the Three Lights.)
SSVenus: Speak for yourself:sweet, cooing voice: Oh, YATEN!
(While all of them are still running, Pluto does something really
predictable...Well, what were you expecting?)
SSPluto: Hey, guys! I think the monster..:BAM: OWWWWW!
ESMoon: I saw that coming.
SSVenus: We knew you did.
(Pluto had crashed into the monster's foot, and the other two stopped
short.)
SSVenus: Well, we found it...now what?
ESMoon: We pick up where we left off:)
SSVenus: HAI:)
SSPluto: Ooo...lemony fresh...:collapes:
SSVenus: VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!
ESMoon: SILVER MOON CRYSTAL POWER KISS!
(An orange heart pops out of Venus's mouth, and she flings it out. Sailor
Moon whips her huge staff around with the heart, and the most awesome attack
in the history of anime shoots forth at the monster and is planted on its
forehead, and...and...nothing happens?...ZAAA?)
Venus & Moon: IT DIDN'T WORK!
SSPluto: Oh, my head! What happened?
ESMOON: THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO MY TRAILER!
Monster: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
ESMOON: Yipe!
SSVenus: This is like a bad version of "Into the Woods"!
SSPluto:Scotty voice: Seems to me we need more power, Cap'n!
Moon & Venus: Don't start that...ever!
(They run around the foot, and into a clearing...)
(...And at the same instant, on the other side of the monster..)
Maker: STAR GENTLE...
Healer: Umm...Maker? I don't think you should be using your attack in this
story...
Maker: Why not?
Healer: Well...
Maker: Oh, SHUT UP! STAR GENTLE UTERUS!
(A huge star shoots a beam blast from Maker's hands and into the monster.)
Seiya: OOo...that's not gonna go over well with the PTA or the censors!
Maker: What censors? We're in Japan!
Seiya: Ooo, true...good point!
Healer: We have a bigger problem, guys! Maker's attack didn't work!
(They run around the foot and into the clearing, stopping abruptly to make
sure that they don't do the same joke three times.)
Maker, Healer, & Seiya: Sailor Moon, Venus, and Pluto!
Moon, Venus, & Pluto: Sailor Star Maker, Healer, and...Seiya?
Seiya: D'oh:smacks forehead:
Maker: I knew something was wrong! You've been really slow today!
(Healer folds her arms over her chest and grins openly!)
Seiya: GRRRRR... FIGHTER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!
(The three girls watch as Seiya 'changes', and Sailor Star Fighter stands
in his place.)
Silence...
ESMoon: WOW...I wonder what that feels like!
SSVenus: You too?
SSPluto: EWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Silence...
Monster: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
(The six turn and look at the monster...then look at eachother...then look
at the monster...)
ESMOON: Oh, well. It's a living...
Ai to Segi no
Sailor fuku Bishoujo Senshi
(:Sailor Moon:)
Tsukini kawatte
Oshiokyo!
:Patented Sailor Moon laugh:
SSVenus:shudders: Oh,boy!
Figher: That's nothing! Get a load of this:Deep Inhailing Breath:
YAMIO KIRISAKU...
SSPluto: Look, there's Uranus and Neptune!
Maker: Whew:wipes forehead:
ESMoon: Hey, how are you two doing?
SSUranus: We're progressing. I think we've resolved most of our problems.
SSNeptune:From a little way off: I'm never speaking to you again,
Haruka!
Lights: HARUKA?
SSVenus: Just how much progress did you say you made:smirking:
SSUranus: Well...we're seeing the same therapist now, but I think she's against
me! She said I was agressive and hostile, I mean AS IF!
SSNeptune: You HIT her when she told you that!
SSUranus: She can't prove it was me:looks around rapidly:
SSVenus: OOOOOOOOOoooooookkkkay:Backs away slowly:
(Senshi blink)
SSPluto: So, what are we going to do about this monster?
Lights: HARUKA:in shock:
SSNeptune: I think we should all team up and use our powers together!
Fighter: That'll use up an awful lot of paper?
ESMoon: LET'S DO IT!
(Sailor Moon turns towards the monster...)
ESMoon: All right, you forest terrorizing monster! I will defeat you in
the name of the MOON:THHWHACK: OWWWWWWWWW!
SSMars: NO quoting the English version!
SSJupiter: Let's fry him!
SSUranus: I'm with you, Jupiter!
SSNeptune: Do you have to be so destructive?
Jupiter and Uranus: YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS:Grining openly:
ESMoon: OOOOooooookay! Here we go!
Silver Moon Crystal Power...
SSVenus: Venus Love and Beauty...
SSPluto: Dead..
SSNeptune: Submarine...
SSUranus: Space Sword...
SSMars: Mars Flame...
SSJupiter: Jupiter Oak..
Fighter: Star Serious...
Maker: Star Gentle...
Healer: Star Sensitive...
:DEEP INHAILING BREATH:
ESMoon: ...Kiss!
SSVenus: ...Shock!
SSPluto: ...Scream!
SSNeptune: ...Reflection!
SSUranus: ...Blaster!
SSMars: ...Sniper!
SSJupiter: ...Evolution!
Figher: ...Laser!
Maker: ...Uterus!
Healer: ...Inferno!
(All kinds of colors and light, fire, lightning, earthquakes, floods, and
major bodily organs (just kidding:) shoot forth...the attacks are all
combined into one as they hit the monster...the monster is taken back
a few steps and...and...(suspensful, no:)
ESMoon: It didn't work!...AGAIN! Got any explanations, Venus?
SSVenus: Not a one!...Oh, but I do have an idea!
(Venus grabs Maker and rips open her space time pocket and pulls out a
faniliar senshi with short, blue hair. :HINT: The only one not mentioned:
SSPluto: Hey, Ami! Can you tell us how to defeat this monster with your
computer?
SSMercury: Well...WHY SHOULD I !
Senshi: Huh?
Lights: AMI? ZAAA?
SSVenus: We need to have a little talk about this secret identity thing...
(Venus rubs her head as the other stare at Mercury...)
SSMercury: You didn't wait for me in the attack! You only brought me into
the story when you needed me to work, and you think that I get all my
answers from a computer...which tells me you have NO respect for my
intelligence, and it also tells me that you have none because
:holds up Mini-Data Computer: This is A GAMEBOY!
All:GASP:
Healer: Well...Ami...if that's your real name...We can't help you with
all that plot stuff, because we're not writing this!
(All 11 senshi turn, look at the author, and get lookin' real mad...I,
the author, see that Ami-chan causes too many problems, and conveinetly writes
Super Sailor Mercury out of the rest of the story.)
SSVenus: Hey, where did Ami go?
SSPluto: Who's Ami?
Author:Demonically evil laughter: Mmwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahah
ahahahahahhahah!
(Maker closes her space time pocket...)
SSUranus: Never mind! What are we going to so about the ...ULP!
Everyone else who turned around at that point in time: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
(A huge clawes hand came down on our heroines. They jumped out of the
way, only to have the force knock them down. They stood back up to face the
foe when...Healer lost her balance and predictably proceeded to fall
on Super Sailor Venus...Ooof!
SSVenus: Get off me, you little...:Getting a closer look at Healer's
face: Yaten?...YATEN!
Healer: Minako?...Minako!..ZAAA?
Figher: Oh, cooooollllll...plot TWIST:)
(Everyone else cringes...)
FIN Part#3 (Finally:)
I'm having fun:) Now, for a totally off the subject thing...I dare
someone to count how many times I use...:) TADA! ..because...
I really don't want to do it myself!...Ahem!
NEWay-- :) Tune in next time to see-- :) driving you insane, aren't I?
-- Will the senshi all sit in a big, calming circle and work out their
identity crises?
-- Will Moon and Fighter have a showdown involving whose fight speech
is better?
-- Will Minako give up chasing a major rock star, Yaten, because she
found out that he has other "interests"?
-- Will Eternal Sailor Moon ruin all the work I've SLAVED over with
her prediction power by revealing the ending early?
She'd better not, the little...uh! I mean...never mind! Heh..heh
-- Will the monster threat ever be thwarted?
-- Will I ever be able to get ZAAA? out of my vocabulary...
the rate this is going, I'm glad to not have broken the shift
key!
-- Chibi-Moon and Saturn were spotted on the horizion, headed towards
Hawaii!
This just in...Honalulu is under a falling-cat watch until 6 PM
-Sayonara:)
DIANA OF FELIS
Author's Note:)
I have found the answer to all the rhetorical
questions in the world!...it's ZAAAAAA? See how clear it makes
everything? If a tree falls in the forest :Jupiter will be very mad:
and no one is around, does it...(Ya see you don't even have to hear
the whole thing)...Zaaaaa? Okay, this is it, otaku. This is the last
part of SAILOR STARS: PREDICTIBILITY! But don't cry! This episode
might even make you so confused that you'll either run screaming to your
therapist, or your therapist would recommend that you deny its existance
until the 'attacks' go away:) I made up speeches for Mars, Jupiter,
and Venus, because everyone else has one. (Even the outer senshi. I took
the speeches from the SS movie.) WARNING: When I wrote this part,
I had a LOT of free time:), which is NOT necessarily a good thing!
And just remember: If you're stumped on a test question, just
write "Zaaaa?" The teacher will notice you're incompetance and raise your
grade out of pity :Sailor Moon/OOFelis/Star Summers
Says:)
Sailor Stars: Predictibility
Part 4: "Unpredictable?"
OR
"Look, Turkey Lurky! The Sky Is Falling!"
(In the woods, the Senshi stand in two lines. The Sailor Star Lights
are in one line, facing the other line, which is composed of SIX Sailor
Senshi (Don't make me name them all. You should know by now:), with the
exception of Super Sailor Venus, who is standing in between the two lines.
The monster is waiting above the tops of the tall pines for a reply.)
(Minako starts at one end of the line, and points to SS Uranus.)
SSVenus: This is Haruka.
SailorStarLights: GASP!
SSVenus:points at SS Neptune: This is Michiru.
SailorStarLights: GASP!
SSVenus: STOP DOING THAT! Ahem. :points to Jupiter, then Pluto, Moon,
then herself: Makoto...Setsuna...Usagi...and I'm Minako.
(The Star Lights go into shock!)
Maker: Okay, so we know everyone's secrets. Now what?
Healer: I can't believe we go to the same school, and I didn't see it!
Fighter: Uhh...guys..the monster looks like it's waiting for something...
ESMoon: Well, we'll show that ugly fur ball!
(Sailors Venus, Jupiter, and Mars stand around Moon.)
WARNING: FIGHTING SPEECHES...ALL OF THEM --:)
ESMoon: Aito segeino Sailor fuku Bishoujo Senshi
(:SAILOR MOON:)
Tsukini kawatte...
Venus, Jupiter, & Mars: Watashi-tachi segei no
Sailor fuku Bishoujo Senshi
SSMars: Sailor Mars
SSJupiter: Sailor Jupiter
SSVenus: (:Sailor Venus:)
SSMars: Kasei ni kawatte...
SSJupiter: Mokusei ni kawatte...
SSVenus: (:Kinsei:) ni kawatte...
All Four: OSHIOKYO!
(Monster shudders.)
Healer: Yoruno kuraiyami tsuranuite (Penetrating darkness of night)
Maker: Jiyuuno taiki kakenukeru (Running atmosphere of freedom)
Fighter: Mittsuno seinaru Nagareboshi (Three saint shooting stars)
SSLights: SailorStarLights, Kenzan! (Sailor StarLights are here!)
(Monster grabs his throat and makes wheezing noises...OH, but they're not
done yet! They just keep going and going and going...)
(The outer senshi stand back to back to back!)
SSUranus: Sorano kanatano wakuseiha watashi no shugo shin...
Sora no senshi...Sailor Uranus!
(A planet far up in the sky is my guardian deity...The Soldier of
Sky...Sailor Uranus!)
SSNeptune: Sunano omide dekita wakuseiha watashi no shugo shin...
Hooyoonoheishi...Sailor Neptune!
(A planet with the sea of sand is my guardian deity...The
Soldier of Embrace...Sailor Neptune!)
SSPluto: Tokitto kuokannonakao nagareru wakuseiha watashi no shugo
shin...Kakumeino heishi...Sailor Pluto!
(A planet floating in space and time is my guardian deity...The
Soldier of Revolution..Sailor Pluto!)
All: Taiyoohaini okabu warera sannin no heishi wa atarashii kini michi
bikare teiru. Hora, kokoni!
(We three soldiers of the outer solar system are being led by a new
crisis, and here we are!)
(Monster falls to his knees and starts to grovel.)
Monster: No more SPEECHES! I can't take the meaningless babble any
longer! If you're going to punish me in the name of WHATEVER CELESTIAL
OBJECT, just get it over with! Please:P
(Senshi blink...)
ESMoon: You..you can...talk?
SSPluto: Zaaaaa?
SSVenus: I take it all back. This is bad Doom Tree deja vu!
Healer: ZAAA?
Fighter: Will someone stop him from saying that before I do?
ESMoon: All right! Here goes...
SILVER MOON CRYSTAL POWER KISS!
(The monster is blown into several pieces that explode into dust...
predictable! Healer runs over and hugs Venus. Fighter and Moon high-five
eachother, and Maker...Blinks:D)
SSVenus: EWWW!
Healer: Ya know what? I heard you think I'm cute:Healer grins:
SSVenus: Not right now...Yaten..Not right now...:backs away:
ESMoon & Fighter: I saw that coming:
Both: You can predict the future, too:)
Both: I knew you were going to say that:
Both: Oh, cool:D
SSJupiter: Will you PLEASE stop doing that!
Both: Doing what!..Oh COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL:D
SSMars: Just don't try Jupiter...just don't try!
(Everyone is sooooo happy that the threat has been abated. Everyone looks
at Pluto, who hasn't made a noise since the monster had been destroyed.)
(Silence...)
SSPluto: THAT ENDING SUCKED!
All:...Zaaaaa?
SSPluto: We've gotta fix it! That ending was so lame I could HEAR the
raitings drop!
SSUranus: Pluto, don't push it. We won, okay? I just want to leave
and...
SSPluto: Sorry, guys, but you'll thank me later!
SSMars: Uh oh. Those were famous last words, guys! Nothing good ever
follows famous last words!
ESMoon:holds out arms: I'm predicting that something unpredictable
is going to happen!
(The senshi all realize that going out of the realm of predictability
is a bad thing!)
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
SSPluto: DARK DOME CLOSE!
(Everyone stops screaming.)
SSVenus: Uhh...Pluto? Wasn't that your forbidden attack? The one that
messes with the stream of time...and if you use it you will be punished
by having to leave this dimension for all eternity?
(Silence..)
SSPluto: Ooops..
(The screaming resumes...All ten senshi are transported back through time
to just a few minutes before they killed the monster.)
SSUranus: You pushed it Pluto. You pushed it so far that it has entered
another area code...If that's possible...:Folds arms over chest:
SSNeptune: Oh! Don't expect ANY thanks for THIS, Setsuna!
SailorStarLights: Setsuna?...Zaaaa?
SSVenus: I thought we went through this :sighs:
SSMars: You were just bad in another life...like me!
ESMoon: Guys? Where's the mons...YAHHHHHHHH!
(Usagi experiences her own personal hell: Her being eaten whole instead
of vice versa/OO...OOh Scary!)
SSJupiter: Luna TOLD her to be quicker with that tial... :(
SSPluto: Uh oh!
SSUranus: NOW? Now you say, "Uh oh"...Now after the future Queen has
been eaten! NOW! Now you say, "Uh oh":Foaming at the mouth:
SSNeptune: I LOVE it when she's assertive! It's so attractive:)
SSVenus: Gross
Healer: Yeah, I love it when a certain person is assertive, too:) :Elbows
Minako:
SSVenus: Oh...GROSS TO THE FIFTH POWER!
(From inside monster..)
ESMoon: HEEEEELLLLLPPP MEEEEE!...Oh gross, what IS that thing!
SSJupiter: Leave it to Usagi-chan to give you TOO MUCH information!
:shudders:
SSPluto: History's been altered!
SSMars: Uh...anyway, We've got to save her!
SSUranus: Right!
SailorStarLights: Let's do it!
Fighter:thinking: And win over Usagi, so Mamoru will be history!
SSPluto:reading Fighter's thoughts: Will you PLEASE stop plotting
against King Endymion, and SAVE Eternal Sailor Moon!
SSUranus: SPACE SWORD...
SSMars: MARS FLAME...
Fighter: STAR SERIOUS...
Maker: STAR GENTLE...
Healer: STAR SENSITIVE...
SSNeptune: WAIT!
All: ZAAA?
Monster: RAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAH:URP:
ESMoon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw!
SSNeptune: You hurt the Queen!
SSUranus: Then how are we gonna...
StarLights, Uranus, Mars, and Jupiter, who were caught off guard:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Monster makes disgusting slobbering noises as he swallows six senshi
whole!)
Monster:Burp:
(From inside monster..)
ESMoon: Hi, guys:)
(SSNeptune and SSPltuo get BIG sweat drops on their heads:) Neptune
looks at Pluto and proceeds to thwack her over the head with the Deep Aqua
Mirror...ouch!)
SSPluto: Ow! What was that for?
SSMeptune: WHAT WAS THAT FOR! WHAT WAS THA...:not looking up:
Monster: YUM!
ESMoon: Now what, PLUTO?
(All ten senshi sit knee deep in stomach acid inside one happy,
satisfied, and contented monster.)
SSPluto: Well, that didn't turn out like I planned! Heh heh?
(The other nine senshi glare at Pluto)
SSMars: You got your "better ending", Setsuna.
SSPluto: We can't end like this, either!
SSVenus: When are you ever going to be happy?
Healer: Yeah, she's right! We can't stay like this! This stomach acid is
starting to stain my black leather!
(Fighter leans over...)
Fighter: Oh, yeah! That'll never come out..:hits Healer upside the
head:
SSPluto:Sigh: DARK DOME CLOSE!
(Pluto whips around her time staff, hitting two, already angered senshi.)
SSUranus: I'm gonna laugh when you get dragged off the earth.
(All ten senshi are transported back through time to just a few minutes
before they were eaten by the monster.)
ESMoon: Guys? Where's the monster?
Healer: I was hoping stains didn't time travel, too! Dang:wipes fuku:
SSUranus: There he is! Okay...:points at monster: We're going to deal
with this nice and simple! No more speeches, no more time travel, no more
attacks. Just you and me, pal!
SSNeptune: Oh, I love it when she's brave:sighs:
SSMars:facefaults: What's she gonna do anyway?
Maker: I don't know...Ack!
(Uranus grabs Maker, rips open her Space-Time pocket, and pulls out a chess
board, complete with pieces!...ZAAA?)
Fighter: What else do you have in there?
(Maker stares at Uranus, as she rips out a table and one chair. Fighter and
Healer blink...hard!)
SSNeptune: Oh, no! I keep telling her, "Haruka, never play chess for the
fate of the world!". She can't even beat me!
ESMoon: ZAAA?
SSPluto: This is NOT going well:rubs forehead:
SSUranus: Knight to queen..NO wait...pawn to...no...Queen...no!
(Senshi blink... hard...)
SSJupiter: We can't have her make this episode ever longer and boring!
SSNeptune: And she'll lose! She's no good at that game at all! She'll
forfeit the universe to some nameless monster..No, Haruka! That's the
Queen! That the Queen:runs over to the game:
ESMoon: Pluto...do something! PLEASE!
SSPluto: DARK DOME CLOSE!
(All ten senshi are transported back through time to just a few minutes
before Haruka challenged the drooling monster to chess...ZAAA?)
ESMoon: Guys, where's the monster?
Fighter: It's right over there, over those trees!
(Sailor Moon goes into the pose (TM)...when the Bananas in Pajamas and
those three, annoying British hairballs that pass for bears run across the
scene. The monster stops in its tracks and blinks...the senshi blink!)
SSVenus: What the...
(Just then, the Ronin warriors -including that major way wicked cool sixth
one, Diana of Felis honor, read the story- run to the middle of the
clearing, stop and shake their fists in the air, and...)
Ryo of Wildfire: You stole our Fox time slot! You must die!
(...run off to kill the freaky fruit and stuffed animals. Mia, Uli, and
White Blaze are not far behind.)
SSVenus: What the...
SSMars: Oh, that Ryo is soooooooooooooo Hunky!
(The monster looks down and blinks. THe rest of the Senshi, except love-
struck Mars...BLINK! Just then, again, the Magic Knights of Rayearth run
on to the scene, stop in the middle, shake their really big-ass swords in
the air, and..)
Hikaru (Luce): We're not popular enough, and we're blaming you for
absolutely no reason at all, so YOU MUST DIE!
(...Run off the scene)
SSPluto: Who the HECK were they?
SSVenus: And yet again...WHAT THE?
(The monster takes a step back as the senshi blink at each other. Sailor
Moon looks shaken...)
SSJupiter: Pluto, where the HELL did you take us!
SSPluto:in shock: ZAAA?
(Then...I know just what you're saying:)...Teknoman Slade swoops down out
of the sky, just missing the monster's head, and...)
Slade: Star! Where are you?
Star:somewhere in the forest, in a sweet, cooing voice: Over here!
Healer: It's the war of the (anime) worlds:plainly stated:
ESMoon: Too Weird! Go away. HEeEe HeEeE! GoTtA MAKE iT Go aWaY..gOtTa EnD
iT! ToO iNsAnE..EVEN FOR ME!
(Sailor Moon grabs Maker, and...)
Maker: I'm getting awfully sick of this!
(...she pulls out something...backs away...)
ESMoon: I am the Queen of Crystal England I AM!
(Everyone turns and looks at Moon.)
SSVenus: Sailor Moon!...PUT DOWN THAT GUN!
(All nine senshi jump on her and shove her to the ground. They pull the gun
away from her head and hold it, while she tries to shake free. Fighter grabs
Moon's gun arm and pulls away, just as it fires. The bullet hits the monster
as the senshi watch as it collapse on the ground. The senshi ...well, what
were you expecting them to do, something non-predictable? AS IF!...
BLINK!)
Silence...
SSPluto: WOW! The monster's dead, and we just did the coolest finale in the
history of anime! Well..Guys...?...
(The other nine senshi come towards Pluto and they look...well, let's
just say they don't look too happy! The sky darkens and a huge face is seen
in it. Nine of the senshi huddle in fright, leaving Pluto, with her Time
Staff, standing, blinking at the sky:O)
Face in the clouds: FEAR ME! FOR I AM THE GOD OF PLUTO...Hades to my
friends!
(Pluto looks up...)
SSPluto: Oh, I am so sorry for messing with time, great Lord of my planet!
(Uranus starts to cackle in the background:)
God Pluto: Sorry?...Why should you be sorry? I'm here to give you the
BEST SUPPORTING COMIC AWARD for FAN FICS! You should be honored!
SSJupiter: See, I told you so:dances around Mars with tounge out:P
SSMars: MARD FLAME...:Juptiter quickly sits down:)
SSPluto: You're in charge of the ratings?
God Pluto: Always have been! Some people think I rule that underworld place,
but I only go there on Spring Break! Yep! That's me, The God of Anime
Raitings!...Predictable, no?
(Pluto blinks as the face dissapears from the sky. The rest of the soldiers
get up and walk over to Pluto to look at her award. Just then...)
Fighter: Goddess! What now!
Maker: If ANYONE thinks of touching my space-time pocket, they got another
thing coming!
(Tuxedo Kamen appears on a high pine branch at the top of one of the trees.
Everyone looks up.)
SSNeptune: MY KING!
Tux Kamen: Fear not, Sailor Senshi! For you have the power within yourselves
to defeat this creature and :crack:looks at branch: Use that
power to bring salvation to this...huh:Crack:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:BIG CRASH:
ESMoon:dazed:sits up: Mamoru?
(No one sees Fighter slipping a hacksaw into her space- time pocket as
she smiles evily)
SSUranus: Eh, he was late, anyway.
(Sailor Moon hops up without assistance, and predictably proclaims...)
ESMoon: Hey, guys! How 'bout we lose the uncomfortable fuku and get some
lunch:)
Healer: Do we have to loose the fuku?...I like it!
(Fighter and Maker glare at her as she cowers..)
(They all de-transform and go to the local coffee shop. They sit at one big
table and talk...?)
Minako: Okay, you guys. Everyone accounted for, no broken bones, missing
people?
Usagi: No one except for Chibi-Usa, Hotaru, that weird Horse-boy, and
Mamoru. I could've sworn I heard his voice earlier:wipes mouth:
(Seiya moves closer to Usagi and laughs silently to himself.)
Setsuna: And that other girl...what was her name? I think she was a senshi,
too! A...Amanda...no...Amy...no...
Taiki: Who are you talking about?
Setsuna: The one that got to get into your fan club before us...one of
you biggest fans..you know!
Author: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
(Everyone is silent...Michiru and Haruka sit a little close together as
Minako and Usagi eat, and Yaten plays with his long white hair, getting it
in Seiya's coffee and all over the table. (Enjoying his feminine side a
little too much!) Overall, I say it's been a little too predictable today!)
FIN. Part 4. (The finale...or is it:)
God Pluto: Thank God that's over! Now for my story as I take over your
TV! You'll see nothing but the best of all the shows I rate. I can pick
a winner, can't I? ...anyway...
You: Mom! The evil dark overlord of Hades is taking over cable again!
Mom: Just turn him off, dear. He can't hurt you!
God Pluto: How many times do I have to tell you! I don't want to have
anything to do with the place with all the...:Click:
Author's Note :) :D You have my permission to run screaming out
of the room now...Go ahead, I'll wait 'till you get back...:humming
Phantom of the Opera: Oh! You're back...so soon? Anyway, it's over...
I know some of you may be crying, some may be thanking a more heavenly
form for its end, but that's your choice! I want FEED BACK, because I may
do something like this in the future, and I don't want an angry...or
drooling... mob with torches and a battering ram at my door, no matter
good or bad:) So, everything is back to normal, except for that God
of Pluto loose end, but he doesn't matter. That's what my mom told me,
"If you're going to mess with a major, international anime show, put
everything back the way you found it when you're done!" Yes, MOM:sigh:
So just remember these two helpful phrases in life:
-It all biodegrades in the end!
And, of course...
-ZAAA? (Don't worry, that won't be the last time you'll see it:)
(Warning:Patent Pending!) I want to say thanks to Mina256, who spent
too much of HER free time typing all this up, spell-checking, and
putting it on her way wicked cool page! So write her at tell her HOW MUCH you apprecitate her work:)Oh, and I am sorry to
all I offended, but if you use my story, I'll have to punish you in the
name of the Moon...Ai to segei and all that crapp:)Wow, what was that,
now? 151 :)'s..uh I mean..See? Too much free time:)
Sayonara:)
Diana of Felis
P.S. OOPS! THAT's #154 in all!