Always Pure

Part 1

The clock in classroom 8C ticked so loudly Professor Cornball had to repeatedly increase his own speaking volume to drown it out, to which the clock retorted with ticking even louder and so it went on until he simply blasted it to pieces.

"Where was I?" he said, wiping his sweaty forehead. "Oh yes, the power of love! You've all heard of frogs turned princes and beasts turned princes, well…"

A witch was already raising her hand.

"Yes, what is it McKinnon?"

Mac, class feminist, lowered her hand. "Are there any examples of frogs turned princesses, and beasts turned princesses?"

"No because everybody knows men couldn't fall for a woman who wasn't attractive, let alone a frog, or worse, hairy, but women don't care about attractiveness"

"Thank you"

"Thank you"

At the back of the classroom, James was tapping a pencil against the desk, and glancing at Sirius, who seemed to be unusually distracted by his own thoughts. Normally he was distracted by sleep.

"Well?" he said, nudging him.

"Well what?" Sirius glanced back.

"It's just that… Mac just asked if there are any recorded cases of beasts turned princesses and you didn't turn it into a werejoke"

"Did she? I wasn't listening"

"I noticed"

"Couldn't you have done it?"

"It's kind of your thing, 'though. I didn't want to rob it from you"

Sirius drifted back into his vacant state. Professor Cornball told them to look for frogs to kiss and then write a presentation about it that would be due Friday. Students began to shuffle out of the classroom. Remus left to ask Professor Cornball if he could do a different presentation, arguing that since he didn't have to dissect frogs in potions class due to being vegetarian, he shouldn't have to snog one either.

"Is something wrong?" James asked, after having just contemplated asking. This sharing business, it would take some time to get used to.

Sirius straightened up. "It's Reggie. He's always been kind of withdrawn, but lately I worry that he's fallen in with a bad crowd, and bad crowds can really make you do stupid things"

"I know bad crowds are the worst, you really have to be wary of those"
"I know. And I kind of just feel powerless"

Elbows on the desk, Sirius' face weighed despondently against supporting fingers.

"Have you tried talking?" James asked.

"Pfft, no"

"Ok, how about this. You have probably thought of it, but what if… You know, you find some nice and willing muggle girl?"

"A whore would only be a temporary solution"

"Yes it would which is why that is not at all what I meant. If you think he's fallen with a bad crowd, you have to find a different crowd. Or person. Somebody carefree and plucky who can pull him out of his slump and teach him about life and love and that sort of thing"

Mac, who had returned to the classroom to pick up the tartan scarf she had forgotten, stopped by them.

"I wonder if a carefree and plucky boy has ever pulled a down-in-the-dumps girl out of a slump"

"Probably not" said James.

"Depends how pretty she was" Sirius thought.

"Well that goes without saying"

"The other way around is more likely because of women stuff like maternal instincts and hormones" Sirius could truly sound informed when he had no idea what he was talking about. Mac wrapped her scarf around her neck and left.

"You know what I do when don't know what to do?" Remus asked, upon returning to the desk to pack his things together.

"Hyperventilate?"

"Go to Dumbledore"
"Why?"

"Maybe because he just might have better suggestions than 'find some nice and willing muggle girl'"

"What, you don't think it would work?" James asked.

"No"

"Didn't you hear about the power of love at all?"

"I thought you didn't mean whores"

"There are other kinds of love! Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"And where exactly" said Sirius. "Does one find a plucky and carefree muggle who won't want to punch him out of his misery?"

That, nobody knew. They further realized that not just any muggle girl would do; the ideal was a muggle girl who knew about the magical world, and they could only think of one. So the next question was; how to get her to Diagon Alley? And also, was she plucky and carefree?