Disclaimer: All Warriors characters, books and plots belong to all four Erin Hunters.

Hello everyone, welcome to my series of one-shots that celebrates all cannon and crack one-shots known in the Warriors world. I'll be updating this every once and a while when my muse dies for everything else, like right now for Heart of Iceand Twist in Time. One hundred canon and crack shippings will be posted here before this story is finished.

Anyone can make suggestions for the next chapter's ship. I will do anything BUT incest.

First up Firestar and Sandstorm.

Firepaw padded back into camp, panting from the hard assessment that Tigerclaw and Lionheart had held for Ravenpaw, Graypaw and him. He was too tired to care about the immanent taunting he was sure to get the moment he set paw in camp.

Here we go again, he thought. Five, four, three, two, one...

"Hey kittypet!" came Dustpaw's jeering voice. "Actually manage to not trip over your own paws this time?"

"Or did Lionheart finally have enough sense to send you back to your Twolegs?" Sandpaw added.

The two oldest apprentices jeered down at young Firepaw, expecting his usual pathetic retort and pitiful excuse of trying to defend whatever dignity a kittypet could possibly have. Instead the ginger tomcat calmly padded past them, laying down gratefully in the shade of the apprentices' den.

"Hey!" Sandpaw called angrily. She and Dustpaw stomped over, unaware of the amused looks of the older warriors watching them. "We're talking to you kittypet!"

"I can see that," Firepaw meowed back, green eyes bored. "Who do you take me for, Dustpaw?"

"No," the dark tabby snapped, fur bristling. "We take you for what you are, a kittypet!"

Sandpaw nodded. "Aren't you going to try and prove us wrong, Firepaw?" she sneered. "Try to catch some prey for once or actually manage to last a heartbeat against Cinderkit?"

"Nope."

Dustpaw and Sandpaw fought to hide twin looks of gaping surprise. "What do you mean?" the older tom demanded. "You always try to prove us wrong or at least make some pathetic comeback?"

"What's the point?" Firepaw asked. "Nothing I can do or say will make you two change your minds about me. Besides, I'm tired of having to answer to you two." He got up, stretching out his tired muscles. "Why should I care about what a couple of stupid apprentices say about me anyway?"

"What did you say?" Dustpaw growled, amber eyes burning bloody murder. But the ginger apprentice had turned has back on them and padded over to to freshkill pile to go and meet Graypaw.

"Stupid kittypet," the dark tabby grumbled. "Any day now he would have had enough of a true ThunderClanner's life and quickly scamper back to whatever Twoleg's nest he crawled out of."

Sandpaw didn't respond. She peered questioningly at the young ginger apprentice that joked and ate with Graypaw like any other Clancat.

Who knows? she asked herself, feeling just a tiny bit of something that might be respect or just some more hatred for Firepaw. The kittypet might just grow a spine just yet.

00000

"Watch where you're going, you obnoxious excuse for a she-cat!" Brambleclaw snapped. His dark tabby fur bristled, ruffled up from the collision he had.

"Make me!" Squirrelpaw spat back. "You're not my mentor!"

Firestar and Sandstorm rolled their eyes at each other, watching as Dustpelt stomped up to calm his apprentice down.

"Here we go again," they meowed in unison.