Finally I can fully unleash my dark sarcastic humour, it feels good.
Reviews are life force, share the love. Not so much the hate though, if you have it, you can keep it chaps.
I've gone a little Hetalia mad at the moment but it's not like I'm the only one. Yes I'm talking to you ^^
Warnings: Where to begin? It's sarcastic and probably offensive, those with weak dispositions to such things should leave. Plenty of stories with bunnies and rainbows in I'm sure.
Disclaimer: Dose anyone on here own anything? Cause I sure as hell don't.
Hetalia's not mine, le tragic!
Draw a circle that's the Earth
Draw a circle that's the Earth
Draw a circle that's the Earth
I'm England.
I've found that everybody experiences the same fundamental problem in life.
We all think that we are important, somehow unique and interesting, unlike any other person.
What a load of crap that is.
Every single one of us falls into the endless pitfalls of life, face first, over and over.
Dignity and common sense has got nothing to do with it people, trust me.
Lets face it, were all human and all crap.
Hip hip hooray.
Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Arthur Kirkland.
And there are a few thing you should know about me.
1. I am British, deal with it.
2. I am not a secret agent and if you have that belief you are mostly likely American.
3. My cooking is superb, other people have no taste.
4. I like my personal space, any who invade it shall suffer dark magic.
5. I'm a fool, who has fallen in love with an idiot.
I roll out of my tangled sheets with a sound thump, misjudging the distance of the floor as usual. Mostly cause it's a bunk bed but whatever.
I'm in love and it fucking sucks.
Yes that's right, talk about top historical disasters. As to how it happened I have no clue. And of all the people to make such an error on, it has to be someone like him. I'll be honest my faith in God is faltering. If it wasn't for Queen and country I'd be completely fucked, faith wise.
The person I love.
My classmate, room mate and self proclaimed best friend. Alfred F Jones, American idiot to the extreme.
The perfect stereotype available.
He is nothing but annoying, constantly hyper and self absorbed. Most of his rants end with his national bloody flag in my face. A person with so few redeeming features from a logical perspective it's insane. I should hate him.
I definitely should.
With his stupid grin and sparkly eyes. That loud completely alluring voice, the way he smiles so genuinely. And that silly way he views the world with an excited eagerness and energy. His endless popularity and so called coolness. That single way he calls my name and tilts his glasses to fire up the oceanic blue of his eyes against mine.
Everything about him just pisses me off completely.
Stepping out of the shower I towel dry myself quickly, before securing it around my waste. There's no real need, he's not here but I do it regardless.
Carefully I side step the war zone known as our dorm room floor, God only knows what lies beneath the wreckage. Coluda sworn last night I saw it literally move. It could have been the crumpets I ate, I'm still not sure.
He is without a doubt everything I hate. But even more so everything I can't help but long for. Truly, I wish I was an idiot, my life would be simpler.
Pulling on the last of my uniform I frown at myself in the mirror, I never quite feel right in others choice of clothing.
I am supposedly lucky enough to attend the infamous Hetalia High School. The most prestigious school in the world. The finest facilities available in a unique and diverse setting. Education covering global history (that's a laugh), sports (just awful) arts (finger painting) and literature (books, lots of books).
Where the great young minds from different countries can mix and create a strong foundation for the future.
All all sounds so wonderful, doesn't it?
What a brilliant lie that turned out to be.
More like the perfect opportunity to discover that the entire world is filled with witless, moronic bastards with more power than sense. And that indeed all of them would screw you and your country over in a heartbeat if ever given the chance.
How very comforting that thought is. I wouldn't be surprised if world war three breaks out before we graduate. Given my classmates, I'm not exactly against it.
I scuff my feet as I walk the same path I do everyday. Quite happily ignoring the bright morning sun to stop pre mature blindness. Quite frankly it's too early in the morning to do anything. That includes skipping, grinning and all forms of singing.
Finally I draw a long tired breath as I drag my eyes upwards. The tall slightly ridiculous historical gates of Hetalia high looming above me. Grimacing at the entrance I can't help but think.
What a fantastic idea this bloody was.