A bit of sadness I wanted to write. If you like that kind of thing, I would recommend listening to O Magnum Mysterium while you read. (It's worth it, believe me!)
He knew they were coming.
He knew the history. He knew today was the day.
He knew what he had to do.
So when the man ran in, breathing hard and shouting about power supplies, the Face of Boe knew just what he had to do.
So he sacrificed himself to help the Doctor one last time.
It's been so long since I saw him last. Not too long for him- I know that much. Maybe a year or two? It's been 30 years since he was here with Rose. He should have Martha now - I know that much. How long since I was Jack Harkness? It must be billions of years, at least.
Oh, no. The Doctor is stressing over me now- telling me not to die. I don't think he understands. Dying isn't a problem for me - at least not usually.
I know I'm going to die soon - for good. I never thought this day would come.
Oh, he looks so worried. I want to reassure him. I want to tell him that this is for the best. I want him to know about those few million years where I would do nothing else but try to keep that sacred, precious darkness. Living, you see, is the hard part. I want to die. But I can't. Never can.
But maybe I can now.
Martha Jones is here too now. I am struck - I forgot how beautiful she was. I remember when I - Jack, rather - would flirt with her, enjoying her blushing smile.
I want to tell her, but her eyes are that of a stranger's.
It's me, I want to say. It's Jack Harkness. I'm your friend. I worked on so many missions with you. We saved the Earth from Davros - remember? It was me you came to when Mickey left you. You cried all night. I held you tightly all night. I remember it clearly.
I remember how happy I was for you when you finally found happiness. I came to your wedding. I brought Ianto. You were so pleased that we were happy together.
(See, Ianto? I haven't forgotten you. Not yet. Not ever.)
I remember holding your firstborn, marveling at how like her mother she was.
I remember holding your hand at your husband's funeral.
I remember holding your hand again later, saying goodbye to you as you passed away at the ripe age of 97. You made a joke about how you'd like to try my wrinkle cream. I cried. You didn't understand why.
I'm crying now. You probably can't see it. How poetic - the roles reverse. You sit with me as I lay dying.
Right now, I see two Marthas. I see the one in front of me, scared and young, and the one I knew best, worldly and wise, a mother and a wife, my best friend.
I'm excited for you, Martha Jones. You have your whole life ahead of you.
And you, Doctor. I still remember the first time I saw you. I saved your life, remember? I saved you from that Nazi bomb - all for you. I would actually have been fine with dying then - I would have died a good man, having saved your life. But no, you just couldn't let that slip by. You had to save me.
In years past, I have bitterly cursed the day I chose to enter your TARDIS and see the stars. But right now, I am glad I did.
Do you remember me, Doctor? I remember you.
I remember the first time I saw you in my current state. I'm pretty sure you didn't even notice me. I came back to watch the end of the Earth.
You were angry then. Angry about everything. You didn't think anything of seeing the planet end for good. But I did. I thought a lot that day.
The end is coming for me, and it's coming quickly. I know Novice Hame will be sad to see me go. Too bad she's a basic bitch.
I almost laugh at this little bit of leftover Jack.
I think I will miss Jack.
I wish Jack a silent goodbye.
Goodbye, Jack. You were fantastic.
Outside, there is a hymn. I feel I've waited long enough.
I have one more thing to do, and then I will finally be free.
I open my mouth and speak, actually speak, for the first time in millions of years.
You...
I look at Martha. She's crying.
You have so much ahead of you. Don't cry now, Martha. This is just the beginning for you.
Are...
I look at the Doctor.
I am so glad I met you. You amazing man. You amazing, wonderful, magical man, out to save the universe.
Not...
The hymn swells. I am ready.
Alone.
Finally.
I close my eyes and let the darkness envelop me.
Captain Jack Harkness, the Face of Boe is no more.
And it is wonderful.
