Humans do not have a free will. Rather, free will is something humans and other animals have the capacity to develop, in varying degrees, through the practice of examining their own motivations. Some people say that words have power. This is not so. Messages have power. It is the message conveyed that causes change, not the word.
Haruno Sakura had no free will. She had no message to convey that was her own and she had no one to share it with if ever she come up with one. A year--two, or three, perhaps--she'd lost count. It had been so long since she'd last sat in Ichiraku with her favorite aggravating blond, her stoic crush, and their whimsical teacher. Years since she'd had anything left to learn from Kakashi and months since they'd last shared a spoken word.
Eyes that matched the surrounding foliage searched the cloudless heavens above, looking for some sign that all would be well--that their strained relationship would be mended, somehow, some way. It troubled her that she was no longer close to someone whose life she would have protected at the cost of her own, and although she was still as close as ever to Naruto and Sasuke--even though Sasuke had gone to Orochimaru for a time--that one loose thread in the tapestry of her life irked her.
"Oi, Sakura-chan! Tsunade-baasan wants to see you!" Sakura tore her gaze from the sky and smiled down at Naruto, concern in her eyes. He'd just returned from a particularly trying mission, and he still sported a mild limp from the impressive break he'd come home with. She prayed that it wasn't permanent.
"Coming!" Pressing her palms to the bark of the branch she'd been perched on, she pushed off and landed lightly on her feet next to the blond, looking down at the splint on his leg. "How's that holding up? Any pain?"
"What, this?" He gestured to the painfully obvious fix, chuckling breathily and shaking his head. "Nah, it doesn't hurt. It's just a bit uncomfortable. I'm sure the kyuubi will have me fixed up in no time."
Sakura gave him a dubious look. "All right..."
"So, the ol' hag says she has a mission for ya." A hasty change in subject. Sakura went along with it. This time.
"Oh, really? It's been a while since she's sent me on a mission. Wonder what it is." Naruto lifted his shoulders in a shrug, crossing his arms behind his head as he walked.
"I dunno, but if she wants you, she must be desperate." Unsurprisingly, her temper didn't rise to the bait this time. Naruto still liked to poke and prod at her like he did when they were fourteen--it was almost as if he missed being throttled by the pink haired kunoichi.
"I bet. She probably has most of her nin on other missions or injured." A pointed glance at Naruto conveyed the unspoken words, and he shrunk uncomfortably.
"Yeah, well. Here we are. Good luck! Meet me at my place later and tell me about it?" He waved at her while she went inside the building that held their Hokage, pink hair bobbing as she nodded.
"Of course. Thanks for the walk." But he was gone.
It was hard to get into the office this day, and Sakura made a mental note to sit down with her mentor to sort through the files on the floor one by one after she returned from her mission. She poked her head in first and confirmed her teacher's presence before she stepped in completely, shutting the door behind her with a resounding click. She'd always hated that sound. It was damning.
"You wanted to see me, Tsunade-shishou?" The voluptuous blond held up a hand to silence her, her nose buried in what seemed to be a book of taxes, hand scribbling away on a notepad. Once her footnote was done, she sighed and looked up at her pupil, brows rising delicately.
"Ah. Sakura. I've been expecting you. Sit." Sakura looked around for a chair before she realized that it, too, was buried under papers. She sat down on the floor wordlessly, crossing her legs. "Good. We need only wait for your teammate now."
"Right here." Sakura's blood ran cold at the familiar drawl that came from behind her, and she looked up, jaw dropping when she took in her former teacher.
"Excellent. We can begin." Tsunade pulled a scroll from one of the many in the pile before her, miraculously keeping the pile intact before handing it down to Sakura, whom unfurled it and began to listen and read along. "As you'll see in that scroll, an army of what appear to be animal people are terrorizing small villages and working their way up. They seem to be heading towards Suna, and our only guess is that they're aiming to overthrow the kages now.
"Headquarters seem to be a giant castle of ice in the middle of the desert, not far from Suna itself. Word of mouth tells us that the person leading this operation goes by the name of Sachi, and that Sachi uses a sort of elixir to control most of his henchmen. You are to infiltrate that castle at any and all costs and destroy the source of the elixir so ANBU can move in behind you and do the rest. Do not wear your gear, Sakura. Blend in. The Kazekage himself has sent for reinforcements. It seems as though his brother and sister have gone in and not returned. You will be stationed in Suna to keep that castle under surveillance, and you are not to move in until a secure entrance is found. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal," chirped Kakashi, giving a mock salute before accepting the mission scroll from Sakura.
"O-Of course, Tsunade-shishou. I won't let you down." At this, Tsunade actually gave a brief smile, nodding in acknowledgment.
"I know you won't, Sakura. Now off you go. Prepare for the climate and conditions. This is an S-class mission, you two. Don't mess up."
"Yes, Hokage-sama."
The walk to her best friend's home was deathly silent. Most of the people of Konoha were inside enjoying dinner right about now--Sakura's growling stomach was testament enough to that. Upon reaching the apartment complex that Naruto now lived in, she took the steps lightly, making her way over to apartment twenty-six and rapping her knuckles on the door. A heavy thud and a hushed curse later, the blue eyed wonder swung the door open with a wide grin, ushering her inside.
"How'd it go?"
"S-class," was her only reply, and she nearly laughed when she saw his jaw drop. He spluttered for a moment before laughing in what seemed to be disbelief, wagging a finger at her.
"Ah. Ya nearly got me, there, Sakura-chan. I nearly fell for it."
"I was being serious." Naruto's laughter died like a bucket of water being poured on fire. He stared at Sakura, seeming to scrutinize her, trying to decipher her eyes and find some sort of deception in them. Finding none, he paled and took her by the wrist, stomping into his shoes and yanking her out of the apartment, blue eyes ablaze.
"Wh... Wait--Naruto!--where are we going?"
"To see Sasuke. We're not going to let you go on this mission."
"I can't believe you're letting her go on this mission!" Naruto cried in a rage, training his piercing blue eyes on the ash gray of his male best friend.
"But Naruto--" It had been the twelfth time in that same half hour that she'd tried to reason with him. Again, he cut her off.
"No, Sakura. You march your ass right back to that old hag and tell her no." Stomping his foot for emphasis, Naruto assumed his kiddy tantrum pose--lower lip jutting out and arms crossed resolutely.
"Naruto, you don't even give me a chance. We're all ANBU, even Sasuke--no offense."
"None taken."
"Even Sasuke is ANBU. You of all people know how hard it is to make it where we have. I'm strong enough to do these things on my own. Without your help."
"I don't see what the big deal is," Sasuke sighed, turning the page of the book he was reading, "she's a grown woman. She's twenty, Naruto. We're twenty. Her hair's even grown out again. Leave her alone."
"But Sasuke-kun--" Sasuke cringed at his tone, "--she's like our little sister! She's goin' on an S-class mission. What if she dies?" Sasuke seemed perturbed. He'd obviously not thought of that possibility. He seemed to deliberate for a moment, but before he could start on his lecture of how dangerous it would be and toss out his silent plea for her to stay, Sakura stood up, the action abrupt enough to call attention to her.
"That's it. I don't care what you say. I told the Hokage that I wouldn't let her down. I'm keeping my word." And just like that, she'd sashayed to the door and slammed it behind her, leaving two very stunned men in her wake.
Now it was time to pack.
Her apartment was dark when she came in, her hand reaching for the light switch before she paused, holding her breath. There, in the darkness, someone was breathing. It was quiet, almost inaudible, but she'd heard it. Her hand went to her kunai holster and she slipped one of the knives out, hurling it in the direction of the breathing. She heard a thnk and turned on the light, surprised to see one dark eye looking up at her bemusedly, her former teacher holding up a copy of the Icha Icha series, kunai snugly embedded in its pages.
"Yo."
"Kakashi-sensei! What the hell do you think you're doing, sneaking around here at night? I could've killed you!"
"But you didn't," he mused, canting his head to the side, his one eye telling of his smile.
"I... Well, no, I didn't..." Her indignation quelled at this reaction--who could think up something clever to say after someone else just brushed death off? Sakura sighed and ran slender fingers through her hair, pushing it away from her face and combing it into a high ponytail. On her way to the closet, Kakashi handed her a scrunchie and she accepted it thoughtlessly, and only when she reached out for the handle of the closet door did she turn around.
"When did you..?"
"It was something fun to play with," he admitted, carefully working the kunai out of his precious book. The younger nin rolled her eyes to the ceiling and back down to the copy-nin, the latter of which was now flipping through the book in his hand to find where he last was. She turned around and pulled a pack out of the closet, tossing it onto the bed carelessly.
"Why are you here?" Where the hell were her--ah. Under the pants she never wore. She pulled out several black, lightweight mini tank tops--the main part of what she was going to be wearing in the hell-hole that was Suna; there was no way in hell that she was going to be wearing anything warmer than that. Next came her usual skirts, two medi-pacs, a first aid kit, soldier pills, and small, concealable weapons.
"Are you sure you want to take on this kind of mission?" His tone was casual, but Sakura knew better than that by now. She froze halfway to shoving granola bars in her pack, straightening slowly in order to meet his gaze.
"You're worried about me?" It was odd, to say the least, to have Kakashi still worry about her now, after six years. Even so, she couldn't help but feel annoyance bubbling up inside of her. First Naruto, then Sasuke, and now Kakashi? It was too much.
Much to her surprise, he said, "Not really," his steel gray eye shifting to look up at the ANBU before him. "Just thought it might be a chore for someone like you. But seeing as I was wrong, I'll be on my way." So saying, the copy-nin stood and stretched, making his way to the window--Sakura noticed it was open, so it had to have been his entryway--and crouching atop the sill.
"Good night. I'll see you tomorrow morning."
"Yes. Five o' clock." Sakura made a mental note to show up at six so she wouldn't have to wait so long for him.
"Five o' clock," she echoed, watching the copy-nin drop out into the cold night air. She moved to close the window, and nearly screamed when Kakashi popped his head back up, staring straight up at her.
"Cute cat, by the way," was all he said before he launched himself off of her apartment building, leaving a breathless Sakura to fight off heart palpitations. A soft mewl and the tinkle of a bell interrupted the medic's panic attack, and Sakura quickly shut the window, turning around and looking down at the floor.
"Hey, Dai," she cooed, scooping up the calico kitten and setting her down on the bed, "did that crazy old pervert scare you, girlie? He sure scared me." Patting her energy bars into the pack, she sighed and got onto her knees, folding her upper body onto the bed. Dai scampered up clumsily and patted her nose with her tiny paw, mewling in curiosity. Two pairs of matching eyes stared at each other, and Sakura gave the kitten's nose a little kiss.
"I'm scared."