Title: Body of the Spirit
Author: snootiegirl99
Fandom: AO
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Star Wars. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warnings: None
Summary: The carnal nature of the Jedi is little understood, perhaps even by themselves.
A/N: Thanks again go to Temple Mistress for her input and beta reading (even if you didn't change anything!)
Carnality was not something that was completely foreign to Jedi, although the general public might think that. Jedi appeared to the average Republic citizen to be apart, ethereal even, from most living beings. And for the most part, the Jedi didn't encourage or discourage this assessment.
Obi-Wan cracked an eyelid. "You're not concentrating, Anakin," he said as a reproof.
Anakin's face changed so slightly that only his Master would be able to discern that anything had happened at all. "Yes I am, Master," he replied. But the change in his expression belied the words.
"As I recall, you were the one who wanted to pursue this exercise," Obi-Wan reminded him, eyebrow arched for emphasis.
They sat together in the Temple Gardens, legs crossed for meditation. All around them, the running water, leaves rustling in the wind, and chirping birds lent their verdant sounds to the soothing atmosphere. Obi-Wan inhaled deeply and appreciated the quiet moment.
Letting out a sound of impatience and frustration, Anakin opened his eyes, uncrossed his legs, and sat back on his hands. "It's too quiet here. Or too noisy. I don't know. I can't concentrate here." Anakin gestured at the surrounding landscape. "The Gardens remind me of all the places we've seen destroyed by the war. The life here is the kind of thing that doesn't escape the Separatists when they attack."
Obi-Wan still sat in his restful pose. "Where would you suggest then? Where do you find serenity and quiet?" And then thought to himself, does Anakin ever find those things?
Anakin looked at his Master crookedly. "Why do I need to find a place like that? Wouldn't it make more sense to be in a place that's lively and stimulating?"
Obi-Wan pondered for a moment; perhaps Anakin had a point. "You might be right," he conceded. "Again, where would you suggest?"
Anakin's smile suggested more than Obi-Wan wanted to know. "I know just the place. But we'll have to wait a few hours."
"Is it going to be the death of me?" Obi-Wan asked with his own head tilted.
Anakin chuckled. "Probably."
Every Padawan knew from the beginning of their apprenticeship that being a Jedi was as much about the body as the mind. Jedi training was about honing the mind and the body. Training in physics, politics, philosophy, literature, history, and psychology helped the Jedi mind navigate the social labyrinths of millions of cultures. The mind was the tool of the Jedi to interact with the rest of the sentient and non-sentient galaxy.
Training in gymnastics, hand-to-hand combat, wrestling, and lightsaber techniques helped the Jedi body navigate the often dangerous physical galaxy. As a result, the body of a Jedi was the tool of the Force. Peacekeeper, after all, was a dangerous profession.
Surrendered to the service of the Force, the body could hum with the swirls and eddies of the galaxy itself. The body ceased to be individual and became all. The first time a Jedi experienced this sensation, it was not unknown for them to become overwhelmed. Some species handled it better and acclimated to it faster than others. Some accepted it more readily. Some required more training.
Dusk had fallen on the Coruscanti horizon before Anakin and Obi-Wan boarded their speeder for Anakin's 'mystery' location. He regretted his decision to let Anakin drive as soon as they began. He darted around other vehicles as if the two Jedi were being pursued by Separatist droids bent on their destruction.
"Anakin! Slow down! This place will presumably still exist if we get there ten minutes later than you planned. And I definitely think it will be better to arrive in one piece!" Obi-Wan felt that he had to chastise Anakin for his driving or else the Force would finally let them die in a fiery crash for his omission.
"Relax, Master. I've got this all under control," was all Anakin would reply.
And he did, thank the Force, have it under control once more. They landed safely in the parking structure. Anakin leapt out of the speeder, ready to go. Obi-Wan took a more sedate pace as he finally figured out their intended destination.
"Why here, Anakin?" he asked, less surprised than curious.
"Because these people are alive. And they are celebrating that life. Life relaxes me, Master," Anakin replied. He started walking toward the door of the establishment from which emanated loud, pounding music. Obi-Wan squinted against the barrage of lights that had started to bother him even before the door was fully open. He took a deep breath and plunged into the entrance after Anakin.
He could immediately see the difference this environment made in Anakin. His body was less tense. His face relaxed into a small smile. He had a bounce in his step that vaguely mirrored the pounding bass of the music. Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile and shake his head. Of course Anakin would want to try this new technique here among this crush of life.
Anakin led the way to the bar and ordered two drinks. He handed one to his Master, and threw his back in one gulp. Obi-Wan followed suit, although he was less enthusiastic about it. At least they had worn civilian clothing. With their lightsabers concealed and Anakin using a small Force suggestion to hide his Padawan braid, no one would casually know or even suspect that they were Jedi. They could blend in.
"Let's dance, Master," Anakin suggested, taking Obi-Wan's hand in his and leading him to the dance floor. Obi-Wan didn't know any of the songs that were playing in the Outlander club that night, but he was able to acquit himself admirably anyway. Lightsaber practice was a dance unto itself. And the grace they had both developed from years of sparring each other translated easily. Their bodies turned and swayed together. Then they danced apart, finding many other willing partners, only to return to each other by the end of each song.
Because the body of the Jedi was surrendered to the will of the Force, and the mind of the Jedi was in service to the Order and its mission to protect peace and civilization, carnality for a Jedi became about feeding the 'body of the spirit'. The blending of the mind and the body into the idea of identity-who an individual being was became more than the sum of body and mind. The spirit, the signature, the essence-whatever the name-the essential will of life in each instance was truly unique to each Jedi.
And the 'body of the spirit' of Jedi exalted in the pleasure of living as much as did the flesh of creatures with less 'robust' spirits.
Throughout the thousands of years of the Jedi Order, and other wars and conflicts that tried their resolve, several different Jedi practices had arisen for exalting the 'body of the spirit' through the Force. Meditation was one such method. Force sensuality was another. Bonding was a third. Though these might not be as 'carnal' as bodily contact or the ingestion of food and water, to Jedi they were ways to connect themselves intimately to the rest of the galaxy. Not as a tool of the Force or as an emissary of the Order, but as individuals, worthy of joy and contentment. The Code demanded selflessness. Life demanded a little in return.
After half an hour, Obi-Wan leaned into Anakin's ear and shouted, "Now, are you relaxed enough?"
Anakin smiled and nodded. He led the way again, this time to a small booth to the side of the floor. It was darker here although the music was just as loud. They didn't need quiet, just a space where they could be together.
"Ready?" Obi-Wan asked. At Anakin's consent, he commanded, "Begin."
This time they decided to try physical contact to make the process go smoother. The palms of their hands met under the table and their fingers twined together. The firm grip each had felt like an anchor to the physical plane. Just what they needed to accomplish their goal.
Obi-Wan was the first to achieve his Force presence. He looked about for Anakin, but instead he saw the 'life' they had left behind in the club from his Force-supported perch. Anakin was right, he thought, this was a very appropriate place to achieve his first experience of Force sensuality. The vibrations of life all around us will surely enhance the experience for us both.
Anakin's Force presence emerged more vibrant than Obi-Wan had imagined. It took his breath away, if indeed he had had any breath on this plane of existence. The fire, the uncontained shape and jagged, undulating edge of Anakin's presence was mesmerizing. He was all things and yet nothing was like him. Obi-Wan reached out toward his Padawan for the first stage.
Just a brush. Just a whisper. Nothing more to disturb or hurt the fragile presence. Certainly nothing to dissipate it or diminish it in its brilliance. When Anakin felt the first brush of his Master, he knew that he had been right to ask for this. The thrill that ran through his very soul was confirmation of his desire to master this aspect of Jedi carnality. And if it brought him closer to his Master, then that was a bonus.
Anakin let out a whimper and then he too reached for Obi-Wan's Force presence. Clumsily, he bumped more forcefully against the older man, causing Obi-Wan to retreat a bit. Suffusing his presence with remorse, he much more carefully reached out to offer an apology and a softer caress. Obi-Was accepted both and held onto Anakin longer than he had before.
As they held this embrace longer and longer, they sensed a change in the life signatures around them. They moved in swirls and eddies around the two Jedi, colors flashing and bleeding into one another. Stage two. They were already farther away from their bodies than Anakin had ever been before. And the intensity of the practice was drawing out the pleasure of those around them as well.
Obi-Wan began to change color from his emerald green to a deep, deep purple. Anakin could feel his intensity change with the color. He knew that his Master was finding that this exercise was much more than just another training of his Padawan. Anakin had had many reasons for asking his Master to join with him. And now his Master had more reasons than just training his Padawan in all the mysteries of the Force.
Obi-Wan began to pull Anakin steadily closer to the heart of Obi-Wan's pulsing Force presence. The boy was losing himself within his Master in a way he didn't know was possible, but he found to be entirely acceptable, desirable even. Somewhere very far away, Anakin could feel his corporeal body trembling with arousal. But he knew that what the body was feeling was nothing as intense as what his spirit was encased within. The very depths of this exercise were rooted in the complete surrender of yourself to another being. It required trust of a special kind.
And Anakin only trusted one person in the galaxy like that.
Obi-Wan had never trusted anyone like this before.
Stage three was achieved by the complete consumption of one Force presence into another. Surprising even himself, Anakin moved to be the one to consumer Obi-Wan instead of the other way around. He felt Obi-Wan tense for a split-second before he accepted the sensation and invited in the feeling. The other people in the bar receded from their entwined Force signatures until the whole of their galaxy was filled by just the two of them. No one else would fit into such a crowded space. They expanded to fill all that the Force had. And they understood each other at once and forever.
"Master," Anakin asked.
"Yes, Padawan," Obi-Wan's reply held his usual patient tone.
"Is it always like this?"
"It has never been like this for me, Anakin."
"Then why-?"
"It must be you, Padawan, not me."
Obi-Wan had a vague recollection of being half-carried, half-dragged out of the Outlander by his strong Padawan. Anakin's arm around his shoulder and under his arm was warm and protective. Obi-Wan reached up his free hand to grasp his Padawan's hand in his for more skin contact. He was still high from the link. He hadn't been able to properly sort himself out from Anakin yet. He wasn't sure if he could or if he wanted to.
Anakin drove them back to the Temple a little bit more sedately, regretting that Obi-Wan was too out-of-it to appreciate his caution. He smiled to himself. What if . . . .
When they reached the Temple hangar, he eased the older man out of his seat and assumed his position at his side again. Obi-Wan fussed a little at being coddled, but in the end, he allowed Anakin to help him. Halfway to their quarters, his head started to clear, and he was able to walk more on his own. However, they did not remove their arms from each other's shoulders. Even if they had, their connection would not have been any less at this point.
They shuffled through the doorway sideways, making their way to the couch in the common room. Anakin lowered Obi-Wan down slowly and carefully. Then he walked to the kitchen, using the Force to illuminate the room. Rummaging around in the cupboards, he came back with a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses. Obi-Wan greeted his return with a smile that approved of his choice of libations.
The bottle opened and poured, Anakin made a toast. "To new experiences with old friends." They touched glasses together and shared a deep sip of the blood-red liquid.
Obi-Wan couldn't resist. After lowering his glass to his lap, he stared into it and said, "I hope that the 'old' part of that toast wasn't just for me." He smiled slyly at Anakin.
The young man giggled and shook his head, flopping his long body back against the couch. His Master would forever be self-conscious about his age. Looking into his glass, Anakin said, "That's good. Is it a new vintage?"
"Yes, I thought you would like it," Obi-Wan replied. We're avoiding the bantha in the room, he thought. "Anakin-" he began.
"Shhhhh," Anakin held up his hand. "Let's not talk now. Let's just be. I'm going to draw a bath for you. You look like you could use one."
Obi-Wan watched him rise from the cushions and walk softly to the fresher. Somewhere and at some point, Anakin had shed his cloak and boots. He moved with cat-like grace and agility across the carpeted floor. Reaching the fresher door, he stopped to look back at his Master. Their eyes sparkled as they met. Obi-Wan felt a sudden urge to make a smart remark about Anakin waiting on him hand-and-foot. But the moment passed, and Anakin continued into the next room.
When Anakin returned from the fresher, he found that Obi-Wan had commenced undressing in anticipation of his bath. His boots were lined up together neatly on the floor and his belt was on the couch where Anakin had been sitting.
"Do you still need help standing?" Anakin asked, taking his wine glass from him in any case.
"Let's see," Obi-Wan replied and pushed himself up to standing. "No, I seem to have regained my balance." He pulled on his tunics to part them and slide them off of his arms. Anakin took the heavy cloth from him and laid them neatly across the back of a chair at the kitchen table. Obi-Wan walked slowly to the fresher, already anticipating the warmth and steam.
Anakin caught up to Obi-Wan at the fresher door, placing his hands on the slender shoulders. They continued into the next room, and Anakin began kneading the muscles under his hands. Obi-Wan let out a contented sound that encouraged Anakin to keep going. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and sagged back a little against Anakin's chest. He reached into the Force to find Anakin's presence again. The now-more-familar sensations of this act filled Obi-Wan with contentment and his spirit soared.
Anakin felt Obi-Wan sink into the Force. He, however, maintained his attention on the skin and muscles under his hands. His Master was not nearly as tense as he usually was. The time at the Outlander must have done him more good than Anakin had realized. He smiled in satisfaction. The wine, the bath, and some gentle massage was what he needed. Anakin slid his hands down Obi-Wan's sides to the waist of his leggings.
Once divested of his remaining clothing, Obi-Wan lowered himself into the hot bath. He sighed. Anakin left the fresher to retrieve their wine glasses from the kitchen again. Settling next to the tub, he handed Obi-Wan his glass. The younger man sipped and thought, a strange behavior for him. Anakin was much more likely to 'think out loud' than think to himself. Perhaps . . . .
"Intimate," Anakin said into the silence. It was the word that kept recurring to him over and over as he sat and relived his Force sensuality session with Obi-Wan. "So intimate," he repeated.
"Yes," Obi-Wan sighed more than spoke. "So very . . . intoxicating." His hand reached over to gently brush through Anakin's curls thoughtfully as he sipped from his own glass. "Join me?" he invited.
"Of course," Anakin responded. Placing the wine glasses on the countertop, he shed his clothing in as few motions as possible and slid into the tub behind his Master. Sitting like this, with his longer legs around the older man, their feet reached the same distance from their bodies. Anakin's feet rubbed the top of Obi-Wan's, stimulating reflex points. Obi-Wan, in turn, rubbed at the thighs that now enveloped him, noting the increase in the heat within the tub as a result of Anakin's presence. He pillowed his head back against Anakin's chest.
The Padawan cupped water up into his Master's hair, letting the drops cascade down through the silky strands. Then he combed through with his fingers, massaging the sensitive scalp he found. Obi-Wan began humming a little tune in time to Anakin's breathing. Something that just came to him as he listened to the intake and outflow.
"New and . . . better?" Anakin asked. He wanted to connect slowly and carefully with his Master after the intensity of their Force encounter. He could feel their skin still vibrating from the power they had touched.
"Mmmmmm," Obi-Wan assented with slow nods. He had not imagined that he could feel more connected to Anakin. Their bond felt wider, more encompassing than ever before. He could feel Anakin in ways he felt no one in the Force or on the physical plane. There were blurrings of their signatures and blendings of their presences. They had joined more than he had known was possible. "And longer lasting . . ." he offered.
Anakin knew what he meant. He felt the lasting effects of it too. He was himself, but he was something else too. He anticipated Obi-Wan's desires and needs. He just knew. Sliding his hands down his Master's arms and joining their hands together, he leaned down to place a soft trail of kisses along Obi-Wan's neck while he encircled the beloved body with their arms.
Surprising the younger man, Obi-Wan suddenly flipped over to face him and straddle his lap. Showing more initiative than he ever had during these physical interludes, Obi-Wan pushed Anakin's head back to expose his neck. Nipping enough to mark that neck, his hands kneaded at any knots he found in the broad, strong shoulders that carried so much of the weight of the galaxy. "Let me," he whispered in between nips and kisses. He needed to help Anakin carry some of that weight-the weight he had felt in their joining.
Understanding Obi-Wan completely, Anakin's eyes rolled back into his head as he tried to exhale 'the Chosen One' from his being. Here, now, he could just be Anakin with Obi-Wan. Not Jedi, not Generals, not the arriving-too-late would-be saviors of millions of lives. They could be two men, two human beings, who shared their lives. His arms tightened around Obi-Wan as he began to feel the lift of responsibility and duty from his conscience.
Obi-Wan stiffened as he felt the pressure he had asked for make its way to him. The immense pressure. Anakin always had to win. Had to save. Had to be right-not for ego but for life. He had to save everyone who was suffering. He had to do the right thing for every living being. It was an unmitigated, crushing responsibility to be this man. And Obi-Wan gratefully accepted the role of co-pilot in order to relieve Anakin for any amount of time he could. He hadn't understood before, but maybe now . . . .
Anakin felt light. He felt like he could float. He could fly without his starfighter. Had he ever been able to shrug off those impulses? Had he been given any choice in the matter? The child of the midi-chlorians wasn't allowed furloughs from the nature of the Force within him. But, here, Obi-Wan had managed to help. Anakin smiled to himself. Was there anything his wonderful Master couldn't achieve? He dropped kisses onto Obi-Wan's forehead, cheeks, beard, and finally welcoming lips.
A muffled 'oh' came from deep within the Master, as he let the burden float into the Force as Anakin was unable to do. For now, the Force would take care of itself and its own life. Anakin is mine alone tonight, Obi-Wan's mind whispered to the Force. And the Force acquiesced. Granted leave for the Chosen One to bond and play with Obi-Wan alone for a time. The pleasure that this brought to both men was immeasurable.
Opening their eyes simultaneously, they locked them to each other. Anakin's eyes said, thank you. Obi-Wan's eyes replied, love always. They were individuals now. Not bound by their bodies or their minds but lost in their spirits. Not Jedi indentured to the Republic. Luminous beings these.
They arose from the bathtub, dried each other slowly, and moved to their bedroom. The bed called to them as their skin mingled in every way they could reach. Urgency was not their purpose. This night would last a lifetime if they could make it. And if it didn't last that long, they would at least carry this night with them for a lifetime.
What if . . . . Perhaps . . . . Maybe . . . . The two individuals who were Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi shared more similarities than differences now. They understood; they contained; they were two halves. The possibilities had been realized. There were no more questions.