"Safest Place to Hide"
CSI Greg Sanders couldn't quite believe the day he was having. Wasn't it bad enough that he had feared for his life, had nearly been killed and then put through this inquest to determine whether or not his actions were justified? Those actions had eventually cost a young black man his life and even though Greg had seconds to react and had saved a man's life, he still felt as though he had done something terribly wrong. The inquest had lasted all day, and Greg was exhausted by the time he returned to CSI headquarters
"If you don't need me, I'm gonna get out of here," Greg said, poking his head into Grissom's office.
"Yeah. Get out of that suit, too," Grissom added. Smiling weakly, Greg left the building that housed CSI headquarters and began the trek to his car in the parking garage. Before he could get there, he heard the rumble of an engine. A black, four cylinder sports car revved its engine and the driver, the brother of the man Greg had killed, stared menacingly at the young CSI. No more than a minute passed before another man approached him and served him with court papers demanding his appearance in court to answer to charges in a civil suit. The black car sped past him and Greg was left standing in the cold parking garage wondering if his day could get any worse.
Finally arriving at home, Greg pressed the key into the lock and turned the knob. The cool rush of inside air issued around him as he stepped inside and tossed his keys and wallet on the table in the entry. Greg worked his way out of his suit coat and loosened his tie before proceeding into the kitchen. Slowly, he opened the refrigerator and bent down to get a better look at what was inside. Nothing particularly appetizing grabbed his attention so he resigned himself to a bottle of water and took it with him to the living room, where he sat back on the couch and held the water bottle up to his temple, basking in the quiet of the still empty house. In what seemed like seconds, half an hour elapsed and Greg was startled out of a sound sleep by the sound of someone fiddling with the lock.
The door opened and admitted another man. The late sunlight obscured all but a dark silhouette of this new person until after he, too, had abandoned his keys, wallet and change on the table.
"Greg?"
Greg didn't answer. Instead, he waited until his partner had moved all the way into the house and joined him on the couch. Greg sat forward, rested his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, slowly running those hands through his hair as Nick smoothed a comforting hand over Greg's back. There was no more than five seconds worth of stillness before Greg's shoulders shuddered and his hands moved to cover his face.
"C'mere," Nick said softly, pulling the slighter, younger man into his arms. "Let it go, man. You're safe now." With this reassurance in place, Greg unloaded an hour of heartbreaking sobs on the strong shoulders of his closest friend. By the time Greg shuddered into some semblance of calm, Nick had cried, too.
"What more can I do?" Greg muttered miserably.
"You did all you knew how to do. You followed procedure and policy and you saved Tanner's life. The jackals in that court room don't have shit on you," Nick replied.
"But they'll find shit. Even shit that doesn't make a damn bit of difference. It does exactly what it's supposed to do—plants reasonable doubt in the minds of the jurors. Judges running for office don't help either," Greg grumbled.
"That man's a pig—almost as big as that loud-mouth in the jury box," Nick growled. "You have no idea how bad I wanted to get up and throttle him for what he said about you."
"Like the guy at the crime scene?" Greg offered. Nick raised a surprised eyebrow.
"How did you find out about that?" Nick asked. Greg had been nearly unconscious on the pavement at the time and none but the other CSI's had been witness to it.
"Warrick told me. He said you belted him pretty good," Greg elaborated.
"Hey, the guy—"
"I know—he was talking smack about the CSI's. Still, it was pretty cool…" Greg said, cracking his first smile that day.
"You liked that, huh?" Nick said, grinning shyly. He took Greg's hand and held it against his chest before closing what little distance was between them and kissing Greg's forehead. They were quiet for a while before Nick spoke again.
"You know, when I heard that you'd been attacked by the mob…I thought my heart stopped," Nick said, his voice breaking with emotion.
"What would you have done? Come on, man, we've been though this!" Greg cried in exasperation. Nick lifted Greg's chin with his finger and drowned in the sheer depth of Greg's baby blues.
"I know," Nick said firmly, still clinging to the fight to keep from crying again. "Just…don't make me watch you lay in a hospital and fight for your life again, okay?"
The dam broke again, and both men indulged their tears for a while, intermittently readjusting their positions to pull the other closer or to administer another comforting kiss.
It would be dark before the two finally decided to get some little bit of dinner in their stomachs and then retire to bed, where Greg fell asleep quickly with Nick's arms securely around him.
The next morning, the radio alarm clock rang out a song Greg hadn't heard before.
I know I promised
you forever
Is there no stronger word I can use?
To reassure
you when the storm is raging outside
You're my safest place to
hide
Can you see me? Here I am (here I am)
I need you like
I needed you then
When I feel like giving up
I climb inside
your heart and still find (you're my)
You're my safest place to
hide
Greg rolled over onto his back and took a deep breath as he listened. He had felt like giving up yesterday. He hadn't wanted to go on. There were many times in that courtroom when he wanted to get up and run—get away from the pain of reliving the nightmare that nearly ended his life. He nodded off for what must have been about a minute because when he awoke again the song was still playing.
When this whole
world gets too crazy, yeah
And there's nowhere left to run
(nowhere left to run)
I know you give me sanctuary
You're the
only truth I know, you're the road back home
Can you see me?
Here I am
Standing here, where I've always been (I've always
been)
And when words are not enough
I climb inside your heart
and still find (you're my)
You're my safest place to hide
My safest place to hide (hide)
I know I promised you
forever
There's no stronger word I can use
To reassure you
when the storm is raging outside
You're my safest place to hide
"My safest place…" Greg murmured, hitting the snooze and going back to sleep. Hands and feet violated his dreams; faceless, murderous phantoms chased him, dragging him down to the ground and mercilessly beating him.
Nick generally didn't move in his sleep, so he was still lying facing Greg when Greg suddenly thrashed and then curled up in his sleep. The sudden movement got Greg bound in the sheets and he panicked. Whatever malevolent dream tormented him must have been brutally abusive, because Greg cried out in fear and pain and finally rolled off the bed onto the floor. Greg hit the floor and cried out loudly, waking himself when he hit the floor. Nick sprang from his side of the bed and was at his side in seconds, comforting him and holding his hand until he got his bearings and was able to get up.
Greg was still shaking when Nick guided him back up onto the bed.
"Are you okay?" Nick asked. His hands were warm on Greg's bare shoulders.
"I…I think I'm okay…" Greg replied, swallowing hard.
"Still can't shake the nightmares, huh?" Nick said softly.
"…felt so real. I could feel all of it happening again," Greg mumbled.
"Well, I'm right here. They can't get you if I'm here to back you up," Nick said, holding Greg tight. "You're safe." Greg adjusted his position and returned the embrace.
"I love you," Greg whispered.
"I love you, too," Nick replied. "Hey, we ought to get up and get moving. Duty calls." Greg nodded, stretched, and flopped back onto the bed again as Nick stood to go shower and prepare for the day. Greg listened as the shower started and Nick whistled merrily. Greg smiled and slowly pulled himself up off the bed.
Maybe everything would be all right after all.