DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight.

This story is based on the song 'If It Kills Me' by Jason Mraz [Don't own the song either.]

Seth's POV

The high school hallways were confusing, but not as disorienting as it would have been for me if I were completely human. I walked past the chattering gossip girls and the school football team, my eyes spotted Candace, the only girl I'd ever been close to.

We weren't going out, she didn't even seem interested in that, she just wanted a friend. And for now, that was all I really needed, besides; if I did imprint while we were going out, it would crush her. Hurting her was something I would not allow to happen, but then again Sam had done it, he didn't want to, but he still did.

I wasn't mad at him for breaking my sister's heart, but then again, it made her miserable. Just recently Leah had sort of gotten over it, Jacob had helped her. Being a werewolf sucked sometimes, having to hear everyone else's thoughts was bad enough, but when you had thoughts you didn't want to share, they could still hear them.

Candace smiled at me from where she was standing beside my locker, she was an overall happy person and so was I, but today wasn't the day. She frowned at my expression,

"What's wrong, Seth?" she asked, concerned. She knew me so well, we had known each other since 7th grade and now we were in tenth grade, so, like two years then. She had helped me immensely when my dad died; she had been helping me through it all.

"Just a bad day, Candy." I called her Candy a lot, just sort of my nickname for her. She shrugged her tiny shoulders up and down, but continued to grab books out of her locker.

I peeked over at her while she applied pink lip gloss to her bottom lip. I had a strange urge to kiss her, but I couldn't. I swore I wouldn't go out with a girl until I found my imprint and by then there would be no need.

"Ok, how was you last day of freedom?" she wondered. I hadn't done much yesterday, I ran patrol with Brady and Collin and then just hung around Charlie's house watching TV.

My mom had married Charlie a little while after my father's death and I didn't mind, Charlie was cool. Some days it bugged me that she had moved on so quickly, but my mom was the type that did her best to move on. Today was one of those days.

"Nothing, really." I replied, my voice morose. Candace nodded, but didn't reply.

"It's one of those days, huh?" It was amazing how well she knew me, but something that was, in my opinion, quite obvious, was that. . .despite the promise I had to myself. .

I love her. I really do, but I would NEVER act on it, why couldn't she be the one?

She was what I really wanted and heck, she was what I needed! All I really wanted to do was love her, but more than just friends. But I still can't say it, because of what it might put her through. How long can I go on like this?

I nodded in response to her question. She grimaced and pushed on the locker door till it clicked. Her hair came to about her shoulders and always fell down her back in waves, she had the most beautiful hazel eyes and everything about her was perfect. If I do ever imprint, I hope it's a girl a lot like her.

I slammed my locker shut, which made Candace jump, but she didn't say anything. She knew when I needed the silence to just think. We walked into the Biology room and took our regular seats in the back, it smelled of Clorox and salt in here. I noticed a jar sitting on Mr. Gasda's desk labeled 'Brine Shrimp', Candace was allergic to shrimp.

She would get to skip this lab, lucky her, I hated Biology. Jacob had wanted to build up a mechanic business in La Push, most of the wolves were great mechanics and Jake had been teaching me some stuff. That was my future, I guess, but that seemed to be such a very, very lonely future.

"So, you wanna come over today?" she asked while flipping through her binder trying to find the assignment that was due today. Candace wasn't the most organized person, but then again, neither was I. God, she is so perfect for me, why can't she be mine?

My heart sitting at my feet, I felt miserable and helpless, nobody to talk to about it. So far I had been able to keep it hidden from everyone. They could all tell I was hiding something, should I tell them? Or I could always phase and accidentally have them see.

Right, that's what I'd do and I'd do it tonight!

"Sure and just to let you know, today is a brine shrimp experiment, so you can skip."

She smiled and shook her head, "I can wear gloves." She stated, unlike me, she loved bio class, she also wanted to be a scientist. I wish I had that kind of goal for my life.

The class began slowly, each passing second was dragging me towards unconsciousness, I hadn't slept last night. Some sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach was making me crazy, I'm a werewolf and werewolves don't get sick, but I was sick.

I made myself throw up, just in a spur the moment attempt to rid myself of the feeling.

Love sick, maybe? Ha Ha, I'm such a priss.

Anyhow, my life wasn't gonna get better anytime soon. I should just get used to it.

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