Hey there! I am a mess, so of course I start this new thing while I have absolutely nothing on my other fic - oh well!
So, this are short snippets, no longer than 1000 words (ish). Romance, I would say, but of course, since it's me there will be humour.
This first one is gonna be soooo cheesy though.
+++Break+++
"Don't look at me like that."
She turned away from him and back to watch the sea, admiring the beautiful waves, the moon and the stars reflecting in the sea at night. Or at least she wanted to. But with him staring at her like that, scrutinizing her like she was something fascinating was just too much. He was too much.
She didn't know how to handle his attention, his gaze, his everything.
"Like what? I am not doing anything,yoi." His voice was deep and quiet, smooth with a certain tranquility in it, but still demanding her to listen to him, to look at him, to be with him. Her hands tightened on the , she wanted to look.
But if his voice reminded her of the sea, his eyes were even worse. It was too easy for him to make her forget everything around her, to claim her attention, to drag her under, It frightened her how much she still wanted to turn to him and let herself sink into him. She couldn't. Wouldn't. Inhaling the cold air deeply she leaned even more onto the reiling of the Moby, closer to the sea, better let it drag her under.
She huffed. This was ridiculous, she didn't even know how it happened. "You really are. It's... Too much. This isn't who I am. I am not brave or bold. I'm -" "You are." He didn't let her finish, let her explain, how this wasn't her reality, for all that it seemed that way. She was no adventurer, her heart didn't long for this, for the fights, the adrenaline, the thrill like his did. "You are strong, and brave and I don't understand how you can't see this, when everyone else can, yoi. I'm willing to wait for you to see it, to see yourself like I do." He shifted closer to her and even though his flames couldn't burn her, weren't even there at the moment, it still felt like she was consumed by his fire.
She tensed up and resisted leaning into him, letting herself combust. It was too tempting. Instead she clenched her teeth and strained to keep her gaze at the sea. He did this. Always telling her shit like this, like saying it often enough made it true. Telling her he would wait.
Maybe she should send him away. He would go if she asked him to, he never went against her wishes, never pushed her and if she told him to leave her alone once and for all, he would.
And that was the problem, wasn't it? For all that she was terrified of what she felt for him, what he so obviously and unashamedly felt for her, she didn't want him to leave. It was contradictory and she felt bad, like she was stringing him along, too afraid to be alone - but he let her. Let her lean on him, let her cry, let her laugh, let her be selfish, without asking for anything in return. He was perfect. She didn't deserve him.
Certainly, he couldn't want this, her, when she was so afraid and hesitant, no matter what he claimed she was to him. It was a forwards and backwards with her, and there was a big part of her that asked, why he would endure that, endure her mood swings, when he could have so much more, someone much- "Are you going to talk to me,yoi?" A part of her wanted to laugh, even when he was serious, he couldn't suppress his language tick.
With him so close, still there after she ignored him, was cold to him, maybe even cruel, she couldn't endure it anymore. She crumbled.
His eyes, blue like the sea, showed his agitation, despite him not displaying an ounce of tension in his body. Even at a time like this, he was so careful not to make her feel afraid, as if she could ever fear him - she was scared of her.. feelings, not of him, never of him - yet, he still let her see his feelings in his face. She knew, if he wanted to, there was no tell in his face, just a perfect cool, but he didn't hide from her. He never had.
It made her smile a bit, it thrilled her, she couldn't help it. Sighing softly, she finally answered him. "Maybe you think i am all..That. But it doesn't feel like it, not to me. I am.." She hesitated over her words, but decided he had the right to know. "I am terrified."
Her small smile turned sad. Now that she looked at him once, she couldn't look away, so she watched him carefully, expecting him to immediately soothe her and cocoon her in his embrace. To her surprise, he clenched his fist instead, his face growing more agitated, with a trace of heartbreak entering his eyes. Without thinking, she was the one to step closer this time, wanting nothing more but to calm him, take away his distress.
Instead of getting closer to her, he stayed where he was and she didn't understand him, did he finally have enough of her and her back and forth?
"I'm sorry."
His apology was unexpected. And completely blindsided her, because he didn't do anything wrong. "But..What? Why are you apologizing?" His eyes were full of regret and she felt her heart grow cold. This was it. This was him rejecting her, telling her, that enough was enough, that he would stay away from her now, that he could not be bothered anymore.
"I scared you, yoi. I should have never.." he trailed off and this time it was him turning away to face the sea and for a moment she just stood there, bewildered. What the hell?
Why would he ever think that? That he scared her? Her mouth opened and closed a few times, she didn't know what to say.
His face becoming darker and darker was what finally broke her out of her stupor. He was upset and it was her fault. It was her behaviour, that led to this, because she couldn't get her shit together, he felt like this and she hated it. This was on her and she had to do something, no matter how terrifying it was.
So she squared her shoulders and again, she stepped closer to him and grasped his arm. He twitched under her grasp, but didn't pull away (he never did and it made her heart soar, her soul sing). But he didn't look at her, the storm in his eyes didn't leave, so she did the same thing he always did. She talked.
"Never once" she gripped his arm a bit tighter, because he had to understand "have I been afraid of you. You have been the one thing that has kept me sane in this mess, and that's what I am terrified of. I don't know what I would do without you and that's just…" she huffed and turned her head, as his gaze now once again burned into her, her heart beating faster than ever before. This was it.
"I don't know what to do with that, it's so scary and I want to be able to do this myself, I don't want to be a damsel in distress, but I can't do anything and whenever I turn around or feel like I am going insane, you are just there and I got used to it and things started changing and i just let it happen and it got a hundred times more complicated and now I finally messed up so bad, even though you're my constant here and…." god, she would actually say it
"when I'm with you, I'm home."
Quiet. That was what greeted her verbal diarrhea. Fuck. She felt her cheeks growing hotter and hotter, that was just grand. Now she finally went that step forward and there was nothing but silence. Ashamed, she took her hand away, intent to just finally leave to go and bury herself (or throw herself into the sea, she wasn't picky), when a hand grasped her wrist in a firm hold. Baffled she looked up and immediately felt her breath leave her lungs.
He smiled. No, that was an understatement. He beamed at her, his eyes warmer than ever before, sending her heart into a frenzy. God, he was so beautiful, she wanted to cry.
But before she could even start, he pulled her towards her and she, dazzled by his happiness, went without restraint.
Strong arms embraced her and she finally let herself sink.
His warmth enveloped her, immediately she felt herself calm down, let herself be content. Her hands found her way to his chest and she felt his heart beating, constant and strong. Maybe even a little bit faster than normal, making her smile and hide her face bashfully in his chest. Amused, her smile grew even more, it figured that it would be something simple like this that embarrassed her.
"You're not a damsel. And you didn't screw up. If there's something you want to do, then we will figure this out, just don't shut me out." He squeezed her once before letting go, leaning back to look at her once again. Reluctantly she leaned back, already missing his warmth, but this was apparently very much happening and there was something she still had to say.
Steeling herself she firmly looked into his smiling, but serious face, matching his look with her own. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen and I never meant to hurt you." She looked down to their still holding hands, caressing his knuckles with her tumb.
Then he brought their hands to his face and- … She flushed a deep red as he kissed her knuckles. God, this was way more embarrassing than she thought. If this continued she would just spontaneously catch fire.
"I know." And that was it. There was no way she could go back, run again, not when she knew how warm his hand was in hers, how his body felt against hers and how fucking gorgeous he looked when he was so happy.
And wasn't that just amazing, how she made him look like this? They had to look insane, holding hands and grinning at each other like lunatics, but she couldn't find it in her to care.
"'Kay." Dear god, she really was an idiot.
Since she was allowed now, she stepped back into his arms, mumbling into his chest (she loved that he wore his shirt open, his hot skin igniting something deep in her belly) "Still, I was pretty horrible." She laughed softly, "I feel like an idiot now, though."
Nuzzling his chest she enjoyed his warmth "I can't believe I get to have this.." she trailed off, whispering more to herself than to him.
He heard her anyways.