As I lay on my mattress on the floor, I looked up at the dark ceiling. I pulled the thin blanket up tighter around my neck. I had been alone now for almost a year, and by alone I mean I was the only person around in my town still. Everyone else had been brutally murdered when our town was attacked. The trains never came anymore, but luckily I had learned a few things from my daddy about keeping a farm so I had plenty of food to eat.
I rolled onto my side and looked out the hole in the side of the room I was in. As the days and nights went on, I had eventually come to terms with the fact that I was the only person who would ever be here. I'd gotten used to the sound of the wild animals outside and the rattlesnakes hissing and rattling. The little animals that would occasionally make their way inside made good friends until they tried to bite me, then they made good food.
I curled up as small as I could and closed my eyes. It was cold in this little empty house. But it wasn't just cold, it was empty. Physically, no, but emotionally and spiritually, yes, yes it was very empty. Sometimes if I closed my eyes I could still hear my mother trying to get my baby sister to calm down; I could still see daddy outside in the field, plowing away. I hated being alone.
I woke up the next morning with the sun, something I had always done even when I was little. I wasn't so little anymore, though. I had grown up to be built much more like my father than my mother. I had broad shoulders and wide hips. My relatives always said I'd grow up to bear many children. Obviously they were wrong. I had my mother's beautiful face though, at least that's what my father said, from her bright, green eyes to her full pink lips. And her blonde hair, too. I was the perfect mix of two people and I couldn't have been happier.
I sat up on my bed and looked out through the doorway - as the door had been ripped off it's hinges. I stood up and began digging through the pile of clothes on the table next to me. I picked up a red corset that clasped in the front and pulled it on, then put on a pale yellow dress over it. I stood there momentarily looking at myself in the mirror then pulled my wavy blonde hair back from my face and up onto my head in an unkempt looking bun. I was about to walk outside when I thought I saw something dark move from the corner of my eye. I brushed it off thinking it was a shadow, but it looked strangely human. I hadn't seen another human being in almost 9 months. That's how long it had been since the trains stopped coming. Then I heard a noise. It startled me so I started slowly moving backwards into the house.
A gloved hand suddenly clasped my face, covering my nose and mouth. I couldn't breathe so I panicked and began flailing about.
"Stop moving!" A man, presumably the owner of the gloved hand, said sternly. "Now I'm gonna let you go and you need to tell me who you are and why you're here." And he let me go.
I scrambled to get away from him, but I tripped over a stool and landed on my face. I sat up and began scooting away from him. I shook my head as he walked towards me. I hid my head in my hands. But his footsteps stopped. I peeked up at him.
"Who are you?" He asked. He had kind, blue eyes that never looked away from mine. "I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise."
"I'm Juliet Carter." I relaxed slightly, still looking up at him. "Who are you?"
"I'm John Reid." He took my hand in his now ungloved hand and kissed it. I couldn't help but blush, he was very handsome, but I'd learned not to trust handsome young men at an early age. "What are you doing here? This town has been abandoned ever since Butch Cavendish and his gang raided it. There's nothing here."
"I . . . I know." I looked down at my lap and pulled the top of my dress up a bit more to cover my chest. "My family used to live here before that. He killed them but ran when he heard that a lone ranger was comin'." I pulled my knees to my chest. "That Lone Ranger is my hero and I'd give anything to thank him."
John just sat there and looked at the ground. He blinked twice then looked at me and smiled softly. "I'll do everything in my power to help you find him, ma'am." He held out his hand, I took it and stood up. "Do you want to join me for a while? I'm headed back to my hometown, I know a wonderful woman who can help you get back on your feet. You got any special skills?"
"I know how to run a shop and I can sew." I looked up at him. "But that's about it."
He nodded and looked at the stuff on the table. "Is there anything there that you really want?"
I looked at it. It was mostly tattered dresses, I could buy a new one when we got where ever John was going to take me. I picked up a necklace that was my mother's and my father's pocket watch. My baby sister didn't have anything that I could really take to remember her by, that had all been broken or stolen. I looked at John and nodded. I was ready to leave this place behind and start a new life somewhere better.
He led me outside where a white horse was waiting patiently for him not tied to anything, just standing there. He climbed onto his horse he called Silver, and he helped me on behind him. I wrapped my arms around his middle so I wouldn't fall off. It had been so long since I'd been on a horse. It felt like I was a million feet above the ground. I didn't dare look down, just climbing up onto the roof to fix the holes and leaks so I wouldn't freeze at night scared me and that didn't move. He looked back at me to make sure I was okay and we left. We started out at a slow walk but eventually got up to a trot. I started feeling dizzy and hot. He smiled at me and he got off the horse and led it to a watering hole that we weren't too far from.
"I know this might be askin' a lot, but I think you might be quite a bit more comfortable if you take off that there dress." He sauntered on over to me. "We can still bring it with us though, it would look mighty strange if I were to come ridin' into town with a woman wearing indecent clothes."
I nodded and asked him to turn around so I could get the dress off. I stood there in my corset and thin slip. He turned around and smiled at me. "You ready to get going? It's gonna get dark soon and we're not that far now." He hopped up on his horse and held out his hand. I took it and climbed up behind him and wrapped my arms around him, only this time not so tight. He looked back at me and we took off towards the town.
A little while later, as it started getting dark, I could see not too far in the distance, a town.
"Is that where we're going?" I asked lifting my head from its resting place on his back.
"Sure is. We should be there in about an hour, if you want we can stop so you can put your dress back on."
I nodded and he helped me down and I pulled my dress back on over my head. He helped me back up on the horse and we went on our way.
I must have fallen asleep because what was supposed to have been an hour felt like a few seconds.
"We're here." John turned around and looked at me. "You ready to go inside?"
I nodded and let him help me down. He opened the door and led me inside. It was a small house with three small bedrooms. The main room had a few chairs centered around a table and there was a dining room and kitchen off to the side. Sitting at the table in the kitchen was a woman with dark hair. She immediately turned around to face us when she heard the door open. She stood up and ran over to John. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. Then she turned her attention to me.
"Who's this?" She asked looking me up and down. "Never seen here here before, where'd you find her? Do you have something to tell me?"
He looked at her for a moment. "Rebecca, this is Juliet Carter. I found her in an abandoned town that had been raided by Butch Cavendish." He looked down at her and kissed her forehead.
"How long are you going to be here?" She asked looking up at him longingly. "You know my bed is awfully lonely at night."
I stood still, looking around. Other than the furniture on the ground, there wasn't too much on the walls.
"About a week. I wish I could stay longer, you know that." He wrapped his arms around her. "Juliet here needs a place to stay. We have that extra room, you think she could put up here for a while until she can get back on her feet? She can help out around the house."
"And I'll look for a job so I can help pay for stuff. I don't wanna seem like too much of a burden." I hung my head. "If you want I can just go find an inn, actually."
Rebecca made her way over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "I understand what you're saying. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need."
I smiled appreciatively and looked up at John. "I'll take you to your room; Rebecca do you have a nightgown she could wear?"
She nodded and walked into their bedroom. John led me into the spare room and turned on the lamp on the dresser. "You can sleep -"
I threw my arms around him and hugged him as tight as I could. "Thank you." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "Thank you for taking me away from that haunted place."
He stood there awkwardly then hugged me back gently. A moment later Rebecca came in holding a nightgown. She set it down on the bed and walked out, running her fingertips across his arm and back as she left. I felt a bit jealous. Not of him, but of her. She had someone to love. I had been alone for an entire year. I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at the floor.
"You okay?" He walked over to me and looked down at me. "Rebecca will warm up to you, trust me. She takes a little bit to trust someone."
I nodded and wiped my eyes and stood up. "Could . . ." I sighed and pulled off my dress and unhooked my corset. I didn't even care that he was watching anymore. I wanted out of the bloody thing. I gasped as it came undone and fell to the floor.
"You," he stopped what he was saying and looked at me. "You're bleeding." He pulled his kerchief off of his neck and held it to the spot on my torso that was bleeding. I bit my lip to keep myself from whimpering. "Hold this here, I'll be back."
He returned a moment later with a bandage and wrapped it around my ribs. He looked at me to see that I wasn't hurt anywhere else.
"You're okay now." He smiled at me then handed me the night gown. "Put this on and get some sleep. You ain't gotta do anything tomorrow. I'll tell Rebecca what happened." As he walked out of the room he turned off the light.
Rebecca was lying in their bed, waiting for her husband to join her. She was wearing a thin nightgown and nothing else. She propped get head up on her hand and looked at him.
"Well look who decided to come to bed." She remarked.
John looked at her and smiled softly. He pulled off his vest and started unbuttoning his shirt. Rebecca sat up and motioned for him to come over to her. He walked over to his wife and looked down at her. She reached up and ran her fingertips over his chest as she unbuttoned his shirt for him.
"I missed you, you know." He smiled as he gently pressed her shoulders back into the bed beneath them. "More than you would ever know. I hate having to be away for so long."
She looked up at him, locking eyes with him for a few moments before kissing him gently on the lips. She placed a hand on the back of his head pulling him closer. He ran his hand up her thigh, lifting her skirt as he went.
She lifted her arms over her head and John pulled the nightgown off leaving her naked. Rebecca rolled so she was on top of him and helped pull off his shirt. She reached down and unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants. She then got off of him and laid back on the bed.
The next day, when I woke up, it was bright in the room. There was a young boy of about 10 years of age standing over me.
"Who are you?" He asked, his voice sounding almost accusing. "And what're you doin' here?"
I sat up and brushed him aside. I didn't feel like talking this morning. I pulled my nightgown off and my dress and shoes on. I didn't want to hurt myself again by putting on the corset. I walked out into the living room where Rebecca was sitting.
"Good morning." I said quietly, not moving.
She turned around and looked at me, a bit irritated at first, but eventually her expression softened up. "Good morning. How did you sleep?"
"I slept wonderfully." I smiled sweetly. "Thank you for letting me stay here for a while."
She smiled at me and motioned for me to sit next to her. I awkwardly walked over to her and sat down trying my best not to hurt myself.
The door opened and John walked in. I looked up at him, trying my hardest not to stare too much. Rebecca was right there, I didn't want her to think . . .
"I got a message. I have to go back out for a while." He hung his head ashamed. "I'm sorry Rebecca."
Rebecca stood up and nodded understanding. "If you have to go, you have to go. I guess
I'll be okay here . . . alone."
He smiled and walked over to her. "I don't have to leave until tomorrow, so don't be too sad."
The day was over sooner than I had expected. Rebecca and I went out and did some shopping. I got a few new dresses and was offered a job to be a seamstress for the dressmakers. I happily accepted the position, of course.
That night, as I was lying in bed, the door opened slowly and John was standing there. He walked into the room and sat on the edge of my bed.
"I feel awful for leaving Rebecca like this so often. We haven't been married that long and we should be out doing things married couples do. I want a baby with her, but I'd never be here long enough to see him or her." He looked over at me. "I can't quit, though."
I just nodded, at a loss for words. Why was he telling me all of this? "John, if I may, why doesn't Rebecca just go with you?"
"She just can't. My job is just too dangerous to bring a woman with me everywhere. Those savages - natives . . . whatever - are too risky. I love her so much, I can't risk losing her."
I sat up and pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my cheek on my knees. I looked at him and sighed.
"You two would have beautiful babies." I stopped talking then. I could see him getting more and more upset.I looked down at my feet. "I'm sorry. I get how you feel." I closed my eyes and exhaled heavily.
"How? You wouldn't understand. You've probably never loved someone as much as I love Rebecca. She's the world to me and if I lost -"
"I DID lose someone. We were supposed to be married and I wouldn't be here right now. I'd be back . . . I don't even remember anymore. But it doesn't matter anymore." I looked down, blinking tears out of my eyes. "Butch Cavendish killed him to get to me. He was to me what Rebecca is to you."
"Oh, Juliet, I didn't mean - I just," he sighed and stood up. "Rebecca and I just..."
"Just stop, okay?" I looked up at him with tears streaming down my face. "You're not making anything better. You and Rebecca have something I will never, ever have again. I can't have it again." I sat up and wiped my face.
"Who says you won't meet someone new? There are plenty of nice young men here." He smiled at me as sweetly as he could. I did my best not to smile back. "Anyone of these men here would be lucky to meet you."
I sighed and looked back down. "So you're leavin' tomorrow huh? How long're you gonna be gone for? Rebecca needs you here."
He nodded. "I know, I know. I don't know how long I'll be gone."
I nodded. I didn't want to go to sleep, but I knew that Rebecca would be suspecting something if he didn't go to bed soon. But I realized I didn't care what Rebecca said or did, so I laid my head on his shoulder. He reached over and gently patted my head with his free hand. He and I sat there on my bed for quite a while. Rebecca never came in, though, which I found odd. Eventually I got tired and lay my head back on the pillow. John stood up and stood over me, leaning against the wall near the headboard. He had his arms crossed and his legs crossed. He smiled down at me again, with his super sweet smile. I giggled and hid my face under the blanket and peeked out. He made a funny face at me which made me giggle again. He rolled his eyes and leaned down so his face was next to mine.
"Get some sleep, Juliet." He touched his lips to my forehead, kissing it. "I'll be gone in the morning when you wake up; do your best to get along with Rebecca." He whispered softly into my ear, "I'll try my hardest to get back as soon as possible." Then he kissed my forehead again and walked out of the room, turning around after leaving to make sure I was okay, then shut the door.
I didn't sleep much that night. I kept hearing John and Rebecca yelling at each other. I tried to ignore it but I couldn't help it. She sounded so upset; I didn't blame her. She wanted a family with him just as much as he did. She missed him more than anything in the world when he was gone. She needed someone there with her at night when it was cold and she was lonely.
"Rebecca you know I'd take you AND Danny with me if I could. But I can't. I can't risk losing either of you. I love you too much." John said, trying to calm down a little bit.
"Dammit John. That's not what I want!" She shouted back at him. "I want you to stay right here! You leavin' doesn't sit well with me, and you know that. How do I know you're not seein' other girls when I'm not there with you? Huh? Tell me!"
John took a step back. "So that's all this is about?" He chuckled softly, offended and responded. "I would never see someone other than you, Rebecca. You should know that. I would NEVER do something like that to you."
Rebecca stood there staring blankly at the floor; she was at a loss for words. She nodded and stormed away, still furious. She turned around one more time. "Sometimes, I wonder why I ever agreed to marry you, John Reid."
He sighed and sat down heavily on the couch. I could hear the clock out in the room he was in strike three in the morning. He stood up and began pacing the room, occasionally kicking the couch. I could hear him out there swearing up a storm when it hurt really bad. I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in my pillow. Then the door to my room opened.
"Juliet," his voice sounded rough, which made sense because had had just finished a yelling match with his wife. "Juliet, are you awake?" He walked into the room and sat down on the stool next to my bed. He reached over and rubbed my arm gently.
I rolled onto my side to face him. I rubbed my eyes gently to look at him. "Yes?" I propped myself up slightly, looking at him. "Is everything alright? I heard yelling."
He sighed and looked away. "No. Nothin's alright. Rebecca is upset with me because I brought you here. She thinks I'm bein' unfaithful to her. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're beautiful and all, but you're not her." He blinked at the floor. "I love her with all my heart."
I rolled onto my other side to face away from him. "That's great, John. I just don't know how much longer I can take this." I bit my lip. "She's not happy with me here. I appreciate what you did, but Rebecca seems to take precedence in your life and I'm not her. I just want a place to sleep."
John stood up and sat on the edge of my bed. He leaned back slightly so he could see my face. He smiled at me, but his eyes were sad.
"I need you to stay here at least until I get back." He smiled at me and patted my head. "I need someone here to watch Rebecca for me. Danny could do it, but I think it might be good for her to have some female companionship."
I nodded. "I guess I can try. How long are you going to be gone for?"
"I honestly have no idea, Juliet. I wish I knew. I never know. I just get these notices and I have to go." He opened his mouth to say something, but didn't. "Can you sit up, or something? I can't very well talk to you with you lying there like that."
I sat up and leaned my head against the wall. "Is this any better?"
He nodded. "I don't like going. I hate leaving Rebecca here by herself, you know that though." Then the clock struck 4:00 in the morning. John sighed and stood up. "I guess it's time for me to leave now, huh?" He began walking towards the door.
I reached out to grab his shirt. "Wait." He stopped and looked back at me. "When you get back can I go? I hope that by then I'll have made enough money to at least rent a room somewhere."
"Juliet, I'm not going to make you stay here if you don't want to." He sighed and looked down, rubbing his unshaven chin. "Do whatever you think is best for you."
"I'm sorry, John. I just..."
"It's okay." Then he turned around and left.
The next morning, John was gone and Rebecca was nowhere to be found. Danny, her son, was in the living room with a book in his hands.
"Do you know where your mom is?" I asked him.
"Said she'd be back in a while. Dunno what that means though." He said not looking up from his book. "She's prolly out shoppin' or somethin'."
I nodded and sat down across from him. "What're you readin'?" I asked pointing at the book he was holding.
"I don't know, I just found it sittin' under my bed. I never really like readin' you know?" He dogeared one of the pages and closed the book. "But it's interesting I suppose. I'd much rather be out with John, you know?"
I nodded. I'd rather be out with John, too. I didn't like being here. "Well you think you can hold down the fort while I go to work? I'll be back around lunch time, don't worry."
"'Course I can," Danny beamed proudly up at me. "I don't think John would leave me here with mom if I couldn't."
I smiled back at him and left the house and headed to work. As I was walking there, I saw Rebecca standing around talking to some of her friends.
"Yeah, he came back two days ago and left me with some girl." Rebecca said rolling her eyes. "Can you believe it?"
"Is he bein' unfaithful you think?" One of her friends inquired. "I mean he must get lonely out there all by himself."
Rebecca shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I have no clue. I don't want to believe he is but I suppose if he is, he is."
I brushed it off and walked into the building.
That night I returned home a bit later than I had hoped I would. I opened the door to the house to an angry Rebecca.
"I need you out of the house by tomorrow afternoon." She said. "You've overstayed your welcome and you need to leave."
"Okay." I said walking into my room and untying my dress. "I was plannin' on it anyways." I pulled it off and opened the box I was carrying. I had bought a new nightgown so I didn't have to wear Rebecca's anymore. I handed her back her nightgown and put on mine. "Here, thought you'd want this back. Thanks for letting me borrow it."
She snatched it out of my hands and stomped out of the room.
"So much stomping." I muttered to myself and laid down in bed. I shut my eyes and was asleep almost immediately.
The week dragged on and there was still no sign of John returning to town anytime soon. I was living in a cheap apartment above the shop I worked in. It was small and cramped and I didn't have easy access to water or an outhouse, but it was better than living with Rebecca who was unhappy with me even being in the same town as her and John.
Everytime I passed Rebecca I could feel her eyes on my back. I wanted to apologize for whatever I did to her, but I knew that if I said anything to her she'd just ignore me or yell at me. I curled up on the small, lumpy bed in the corner of the room. Suddenly I missed the solidarity of my mattress on the floor in my home. I looked at the pocket watch that was my dad's and hugged it close to me. I wanted to be home. I missed my parents. I missed my little sister. I missed Vincent the most though. He was the only person who really understood me. The only person who would listen to me. We had been friends since I was little and now he was gone; he wasn't coming back.
I grabbed onto one of my pillows and tucked it under my arms and cuddled with it to feel less alone. I sat up and looked out the window. It was darker tonight than it had been in a while. I looked up at the sky to see nothing but clouds. It was going to rain. Great. That was just great. That was all I needed was rain to make this worse. Luckily there were no holes in the ceiling or roof so my room was dry.
I walked downstairs and outside even though I knew it wasn't safe for a girl like me to walk outside alone. I felt like I needed to, though. I stepped off the front porch and onto the road and looked around. I thought I heard what sounded like a horse trotting up. I turned towards the noise to see a man riding on a horse towards the town. Instinctively, I ran back near the shop and tried to hide. However, in the moonlight I could see that the horse had the same white coloring as the one John showed up on the day I met him. I relaxed slightly. He trotted up to me.
"Ma'am, you should probably get into your house. It's not safe to be outside at this hour." John said.
I walked out to greet him. "John..." I whispered looking up at him. "Y-you're back."
He looked down at me confused at first. "Juliet. What are you doing here? You should be home." He dismounted his horse and walked over to me. "Why aren't you at home?"
"I am." I said pointing up at the window of my apartment. "Rebecca kicked me out."
"Why?" He asked looking down at me. "Did you do something wrong?"
I shook my head. "I don't know."
He sighed and looked in the direction of his house, shaking his head. He pinched the bridge of his nose and adjusted his hat on his head. "Well I reckon I should go have a conversation with her then?"
I looked down at the ground and turned towards my apartment. "If you want."
"Juliet, wait." He reached out and grabbed my shoulder. "You can come with me if you want to." He looked at me intently almost as if he was searching for something.
I couldn't look away from him, I felt trapped in his gaze. I bit my lip gently and leaned up to him. I thought I felt his grip on my shoulder tighten slightly, but I wasn't sure. He moved his hand quickly and turned around. "Go get some rest," he said "I'll be up in the morning to tell you what she said."
I nodded and kicked myself for thinking that he might have wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss him. I watched as he got back on Silver and rode towards his house. I walked back up the stairs to my small apartment and lay back down on my uncomfortable bed.
"Rebecca," John whispered knocking on the door to their shared bedroom. "Rebecca we need to talk."
Rebecca sat up and rubbed her eyes. She turned the knob on the lamp next to her lighting up the room. "Is that you John?" She smiled wide.
He nodded and walking farther into the room. Rebecca jumped out of bed and ran to him, wrapping her arms tightly around him.
"I'm so sorry about what happened before you left. I feel awful." She caressed his face gently and leaned in to kiss him. He pushed her back. "What's wrong with you?" She looked up at him accusingly.
"Why did you make Juliet leave?" He asked her sternly. "She's living in a dump because of what you did."
"She was being a terrible housemate. She didn't help out around the house. She had horrible table manners. She was mean to Danny." Rebecca kept listing things. "She was just horrid."
John looked down at her curiously. "Well we'll just ask Danny in the morning, now won't we?" He pursed his lips and took of his vest and laid it down on the bed. "I'll be sleeping in the guest bedroom tonight. Goodnight, Rebecca."
"John, if you leave you will not be welcomed back into this bed without apologizing." She threatened.
"Okay." He shrugged and wandered into the extra bedroom.
The next morning, John knocked on the door. It was Sunday, and I didn't have to work today, so I was still asleep.
"Good morning, sleepyhead." He said smiling at me. "I talked to Rebecca last night."
I sat up and looked at him sleepily. "What?" I asked, my voice rough from sleepiness.
"I asked her why she kicked you out of the house. She said you'd been an awful house guest. And you were mean to Danny. Is that true?"
"No. I never even talked to Danny until the day she kicked me out. I asked him if he could watch the house while I was at work." I shrugged. "And I always offered to help, but Rebecca would tell me that she didn't need my help; that I'd mess something up. I don't know."
He nodded and sat down on one of the chairs at the little table. He played with the pen that I had sitting on the table.
I moved so I was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked up at him. He smiled down at me and stood up. I blushed as he walked over to me. He reached down at ran his fingers along my jaw. He held my chin between his thumb and his fingers. I looked up at him and bit my lip gently. He bent at the waist far enough so he was eye level with me. I sucked in my breath quickly, and shakily.
"What's the matter?" He asked looking at me with those blue eyes.
I just sat there with my mouth hanging open.
"Close your mouth. You'll catch flies." He pushed my mouth shut gently. "You don't want that, do you?"
I shook my head. He smiled at me and moved my pillow to the wall behind me and pushed me back against it. He crawled onto the bed next to me and made me look at him by brushing his hand against my cheek. "I just want to look at you." He said pushing my hair out of my face. "I can see why Butch Cavendish would leave you for last." I noticed his eyes wandering down to the low-cut collar on my night gown, but I didn't say anything. I felt his other hand on my side.
"Juliet, I'm sorry." He looked back up at me. His eyes looked sad. "I'm sorry about everything that happened to you. You deserve better than this." He looked around the room.
I blushed and blinked back tears. "John, c-can you take me away from here?" I asked looking over at him. "Rebecca hates me for what you did. I don't want her to think-"
He cut me off. "I don't care what she thinks, I know what I did was the right thing to do. I'm glad I did it." He smiled. "I'm only here for the night. You can come with me tomorrow when I leave. Rebecca can get over it. You're coming with me but you're gonna need a few things."
"Like what?" I asked looking up at him.
"A horse, for starters. A gun to keep yourself safe incase we get separated." He smiled at me. "More suitable clothing. We're going to be out in the sun all day and what you wear now is far too heavy. I know someone who can get you something a bit lighter, granted it might be a bit more revealing..."
I looked up at him and smiled wide. "You're really going to bring me with you?"
"Sure, why not? You've survived on your own for so long I figured you're suited for being with me on a job." He smiled. "I'll have to teach you to shoot though."
"I can't wait to learn." I sat up and stretched. "Oh but my job..." I thought. "I'll need to quit that right?"
"Yeah, probably. I'm sorry." He rubbed the back of his head and adjusted his pants. "If you don't want to come you don't have to."
"You have no idea how much I want to." I turned around and looked at him. "I'm going to go to the bath house to clean up." I smiled. "Feel free to join me." I added with a wink.
I heard him get up behind me after I came out with a towel in my arms and the yellow dress that I wore the day we first met on. He smiled down at me and motioned for me to head down the stairs. He smiled at me and we walked to the bath house. It was a big wood building with four windows on the front and vents cut into the walls to let out the steam. The town had been built on a natural hot springs, I had found out a few days ago, and it was the ideal place for a communal bath house. As we neared the building I noticed that the sign indicating which baths were for which sex was gone. I inquired about this to the hostess. She said that since people had simply stopped paying attention to the sign, they chose to completely remove the rule.
After the bath, John looked down at me, water dripping down his face from his hair. "Well I suppose we can go get you a gun now, hm?" I nodded and followed him into the gunsmith's shop. I looked around completely confused about everything. Even though I had a father and nothing but uncles and male cousins, I had never been taught about guns or how to shoot or anything. The man behind the counter looked at me funny.
"She's buyin' one?" He looked over his glasses and pointed at me. "Don't sell guns to women. Can't risk 'er gettin' hurt. 'Sides she'll break it."
"Then don't sell it to her, sell it to me." John said leaning on the counter. "I'll take care of her don't worry. You know me."
"Yes, John, I do know you. And I know you're never home. What're you gon' do when she gets hurt with it."
"Look, Pete, just sell me the damned things. I'll make sure nothing happens to her or them. She's more capable than she looks, I know it." John said setting his money on the counter. "Or I'll stop lookin' for 'im."
Pete looked down at the counter with the coins and paper money on it. "Okay." He said swallowing hard. "Just don' come cryin' ta me when she gets hurt."
"Wouldn't dream of it." John responded and led me out the door. "Okay, now we can either get you new clothes or I can teach you how to shoot."
I bent my arms in the tight half sleeves of my dress. "I can't really bend my arms too well in this dress, maybe we should get me something better to wear?" John nodded down at me and led me to a building at the very end of town at the back of an alley.
"This is Red's place of business. She might seem a bit rough around the edges, but she's got a good reason. She'll understand your situation just fine, I'm sure." He looked down at me and knocked on the door. A curvy woman with curly red hair, wearing her corset on the outside of her dress and her skirt hiked up in the front answered the door.
"John." She looked up at him. "Who's this? What do you need? I'm not taking any new girls."
"That's not what I'm here about, Red." John smiled down at her awkwardly. "This one needs lighter clothes. Doesn't have to be anything fancy. Just something easy to move in."
"I might have somethin'." She thought for a moment. "You got payment?"
"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?" He smiled and handed her three silver pieces. "There's more where that came from if you can give my friend here something to wear."
Red looked at me and closed her eyes for a moment, thinking. "Yeah I have something she can have. Don't need it anymore. Follow me, both of you." She moved out of the way letting us inside.
Inside was a dimly lit whorehouse. It wasn't very late in the day and already it was bustling with drunken patrons. Women were dancing around with their breasts nearly falling out of their corsets and their skirts up so high their bloomers were visible. A drunken man approached me and breathed in my face.
"Howdy ther', sweetheart." He stumbled around for a moment then fell over. I blinked down at him, unphased by the scent of the alcohol on his breath.
Red stepped over him and led us back to a dressing room. She walked with a severe limp but I couldn't tell why. She looked perfectly fine. She opened the door and told me to sit down on the settee. She pulled off of the hanger a white corset and handed it to me.
"Put this on first. I need to see how small you can get." I blinked up at her but obliged. It laced in the back so she helped me put it on. "Hm not much smaller than I can." She stood there and thought for a moment. Then, she turned around and grabbed a short sleeved button down shirt and a high waisted skirt. "Put these on."
I pulled on the shirt with no problems. The skirt, however, was much too short for my liking. "Don't you have any stockings I can wear?" She pursed her lips.
"Hold on. Be patient, child." She dug around in a drawer behind me and pulled out a pair of vertically striped stockings. "Here."
I pulled them on and then my boots. "No no no," she pulled off my boots and handed me a black pair of boots that came up just below my knee and had a small heel. "These are much better. They're riding boots, anyways. They'll work better for what you're doing." I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked down at myself then at John.
"You look fine." He smiled at me. "Do you have anything that she could wear once it gets a bit cooler out?"
She handed me a long sleeve shirt and another corset, a pair of tight fitting leather pants, and a short skirt. "You'll be fine in this. If you need anything else, you know where to find me." She held out her hand waiting for her payment. John handed her a few dollars and a few more coins.
"Here you go." He smiled.
Red handed me a few hair elastics and some hair pins and sent us on our way.
"I look ridiculous." I tugged on my skirt and my stockings. "I look like a two bit whore."
John looked down at me. "I think you look quite alluring, if you don't mind me saying."
I laughed at him and looked down at the ground which was a bad idea because I bumped into someone. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry."
"It's o-" She stopped. "What are you two doing?" It was Rebecca. "John I want you home this instant. Juliet you go back to ... wherever you belong."
"No, Rebecca. I have to leave tomorrow again. I'm sorry." John cocked his head and looked down at her. "Danny told me this morning that she never did any of those things. She had the utmost respect for you and our house."
"Well he's a liar then."
"You're calling your own son a liar?" John shook his head and laughed. "Juliet is coming with me. I'm going to see if there's anywhere else she might be interested in staying."
"You can't do that, John Reid." She looked up at him angry. "You do and this'll be the last time you see me, you understand?"
I looked down at the ground again and wandered off. I didn't want to make them fight. I didn't want Rebecca to be mad at John and I didn't want John to be mad at Rebecca. I felt bad for doing this to them. I should have said no to John. I knew there was no turning back now though. John had already put so much effort into getting me ready.
A few minutes later, John ran up behind me and grabbed my shoulder. "Why'd you leave? Rebecca said she's going to let you stay in the house tonight." He smiled down at me.
"I don't want you two to fight anymore, John. I feel awful for doing this to you." I brushed my hair away from my face. "I don't know if I want to go with you anymore."
"Juliet, you're coming with me. You need to. If you don't, you're going to be stuck here with Rebecca and I don't want that for you. You aren't happy here." John frowned. "Unless you'd rather be unhappy."
I sighed. "It's getting dark. Are you going to teach me to shoot or not?"
He smiled at me and nodded.
It was dark before I hit anything with a bullet. I stood there amazed that I could be so horrible at something that looked so simple.
"I was awful." I said astonished. "Were you this bad when you first learned?"
"Well um, no." He said rubbing the back of his head. "I'm shocked you did so poorly."
I looked up at him, grumpy. I slipped the rifle onto my back and the revolver into the holster. He ruffled my hair and we went back to his house. When we got inside, it was dark. I walked into the spare room and began undressing. I stopped when I felt someone's eyes on my back. I turned around to see Rebecca standing in the doorway.
"You do anything to my husband and I will make sure you never come back here, you hear?" She pointed at me.
"I wasn't planning on doing anything to him." I shrugged. Sure, John was handsome but he was married. I couldn't do anything with him anyways. "He's married."
She scoffed at me and walked out of the room. I rolled my eyes and continued undressing and pulled on my nightgown. I laid down in the much more comfortable bed and fell asleep.
I was woken up what felt like a few seconds later by John frantically shaking me to wake up. I sat up sleepily and looked at him annoyed.
"What time is it?" I asked rubbing my eyes.
"Three thirty. I wanted you to have time to get ready. Just put on your clothes and shoes and stuff. I have a horse waiting for you outside. Come on out when you're ready. We can eat something once we get going a little ways." He said smiling big.
I rolled out of bed and grabbed my clothes. I had some trouble putting on my corset. I put it on upside down my first attempt and got it on the second. Then I slipped into my shirt and my skirt and stockings. I sat on the edge of the bed and put the pocket watch into the pocket of the skirt and the necklace around my neck. Then I slipped on my shoes and walked outside. John was waiting for me with Silver and another brown and white spotted horse. It'd been awhile since I'd ridden a horse by my self so I needed a moment to get steady.
We rode until it got dark. I had no clue where we were going or why he even wanted me to come with him. That night as we were sitting on the ground getting ready to sleep, I asked him.
"John, why did you bring me?" I sat up more and crossed my legs in front of me. "I mean I could have stayed there, but you seemed so adamant of about me coming."
He looked down and set his hat on the ground. "You really want to know?" He asked looking up at me. "Really?"
I nodded and leaned closer to him. "Tell me. I won't get mad."
"I've been hearin' word that Butch isn't really dead." He looked down. "People've been sayin' they've seen him wandrin' with a band of gypsies. I'm guessin' he jumped train before the crash."
I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "That doesn't make sense. I heard that the train was at least one hundred feet up in the air on the side of a mountain."
"Where'd you hear that?" He looked at me funny. "He wasn't that high up. He was over a river so that might have broken his fall a little. Either way he got really hurt. I'm thinkin' the gypsies found him and nursed him back to health in exchange for his silver."
"Okay... I still don't see what this has to do with me." I frowned. "Why do I have to be here?"
"I saw him the other day talkin' about how he was lookin' for the girl in the abandoned town." John rubbed his face. "I can only assume he meant you."
"Yeah, but why do you even care that he's still alive? He hasn't been causin' any trouble." I wondered. "Do you have some personal agenda that you want to take care of?"
"Kind of, yeah." He bit his lip and looked at the ground looking for words. "Juliet, I haven't been completely honest with you about who I am." He looked up at me.
"What do you mean?"
He rubbed his arm and leaned back against the rock behind him. "Remember how you told me that you were . . . saved . . ?"
I nodded and motioned for him to continue.
"Well I was the one who saved you."
"Very funny, John. Now tell me the truth."
"I'm not lyin', Juliet. I wouldn't lie to you. Did you get a look at the guy who saved you?" He looked at me concerned.
"I got a glimpse of him. He was wearin a mask though-"
"Like this?" He asked tying a mask on to his face. "Juliet, Butch Cavendish killed my brother. He put Rebecca, the love of my life and my brother's wife, in danger. He was an evil, evil man."
I moved away slightly before bumping into my horse who was asleep. I spooked him and he reared his legs up into the air and moved away.
"Why didn't you tell me? You're planning on using me as bait? I don't even..." I laid my head down on the blanket he had folded up like a pillow.
"I'm not planning on using you as bait. I thought maybe you'd want to come with me to help get revenge. I didn't-"
"John, stop. It's time to sleep." I laid on my side facing away from him. "Goodnight."
I woke up the next morning with a blanket on me and John sitting down against the rock again.
"Do you want to go back? There's enough time that I could take you back to the house and I could be back out here by sunset. I just want you to be happy."
"John, I'm perfectly happy here." I said sitting up brushing off my skirt. "Are we gonna get going? Gypsies don't like staying in one place at a time for long."
He nodded. "Let me get this setup I guess. You can do whatever you need to do." I stood there and watched as he cleaned up the camp and put out the fire. "You ready to go?" He looked up at me and smiled.
"Yeah. I guess I am." I smiled and mounted my horse. "You ready?"
John smiled up at me. "Yup."
We rode until we reached a cliff. "You see that big band of people down there?" He pointed down at a huge group of people. "That's the group he's been seen with. If we can track 'em for a while we can maybe get him alone."
I sat still for a moment then led my horse in the direction of the caravan of people. John followed close behind me. "You're gonna get us caught, Juliet." He said reaching for my shoulder.
"And? I figure the faster we find him the sooner we can get home." I looked up at him. "And the sooner you and Rebecca can get back to bein' happy."
"You're right, but please follow me. I don't want you makin' no rash decisions." John gently chided. "I don't want you getting hurt now, you hear me?"
I nodded. "Okay. I'll follow you I guess." I slowed to a trot and followed him around. A few hours passed and I was getting tired. "John, I'm gettin' tired. Can we stop for a bit?" I asked leaning forward onto the neck of my horse. "I know if we stop too long we'll lose him."
"No, I think it's a good idea. Let's stop here for a bit. We can catch up later." He smiled and looked over at me.
We sat out in the sun for a while and I fell asleep. I woke up a few minutes later, hot and under a blanket. I sat up and gasped for air.
"It's hot." I pushed the blanket off of me and looked around. I was alone. I looked around. "John? Where'd you go?" I heard footsteps behind me. "John?" I turned around but before I could see anything there was a canvas sack over my head.
When I could see again, I was tied up to a tree, sitting on the ground. I squirmed trying to escape my bondage. I looked around and tried to open my mouth to scream but there was a gag tied around my head and a kerchief stuffed in my mouth. I looked around trying to find my assailants but no one was anywhere to be found. I heard voices behind me.
"Hey, the broad's wakin' up." I heard a rough male voice behind me. "Butch, she's awake."
I heard footsteps getting closer to me. They stopped right behind me. I felt someone breathing against my face, but I didn't dare look in fear of what I might see. I blinked twice and sucked a breath in through my nose. That was a mistake. The person next to me smelled horrible, like he hadn't bathed ever.
"Long time since I saw you last." He said, the stench of his breath filling my nose. "You remember me, don't ya?"
I looked over slightly in his direction then quickly away. It was Butch Cavendish.
"We saw you and this one," Butch pointed over at John who was lying on the ground in a heap, but still breathing. "Figured we'd wait until we could get you off guard to get ya. And now I've got you."
I pulled at the rope that bound me to the tree with all my might towards John. He was hurt and needed my help, but no matter how hard I tried, all of my attempts were in vain. I sat there and continued struggling against the restraints. Butch only laughed at me.
"Ha, sweetheart, you're gonna need to try a bit harder than that if you wanna get out." He knelt down on the ground next to me and untied the gag.
"You let me go right this instant!" I hollered at him. "If you don't you'll be sorry!"
"Big talk comin' from such a little lady. Now ain't that somethin'?" Butch laughed again. "Not like there's much you could do anyways. We took yer guns and sent yer horses arunnin'. Now we got some unfinished business, don't we? See last time I saw you-"
"Uh, Butch, we gots a problem." Said one of the men.
"What is it?" He stood up and turned around to see John standing behind him. Butch smiled and pulled his gun out of its holster. "I wouldn't do that if I was you." He warned, cocking his gun and aiming it at John's face. "You make one move and it'll be the last move you make." John stood there with his hands at his sides. "Good. Now why don't you boys tie him up like I done told you before?" He motioned with his gun for them to tie John up. "I made a mistake of lettin' you get away last time, boy, and I won't be makin' it again."
Butch turned back to face me again.
"Untie me!" I shouted again. "Untie me this hurts!" I complained, pulling against the restraints still.
"You never shut up do you?" Butch rolled his eyes and gagged me again with the kerchief. "Anyways, our unfinished business, huh?" He reached around me and cut the ropes that bound me to the tree but left the ones that bound my arms together behind me tied. As soon as the ropes fell around me I tried my darndest to stand up, but without proper use of my arms I couldn't. Butch grabbed ahold of me and stood me up and turned me so I was facing John. With panic in my eyes, I tried my hardest to get him to understand that I was afraid. I could see him struggling against his restraints as hard as he could, but he couldn't escape.
"No need to be afraid," he whispered into my ear as he bent me over at the waist. I couldn't help it, I let out a whimper and stood straight back up, shaking my head no as fast as I could. He growled at me and kneed me in the back of the leg causing me to fall forward onto my knees hard and fast. I could feel the tears coming. "Maybe now you'll listen." He pushed my face into the dirt below me and held my head there.
"Nmmmh!" I screamed into my gag. "Mhhh! Eeeeh! Nnnnnn!" I tried to get John's attention but he was too occupied trying to get free.
With his free hand, Butch grabbed onto the bottom of my skirt and pulled it up. I struggled against his grip on my hair trying my hardest to push him away. I tried to flatten out, but his grip on my hair was so tight that if I even tried to move, it felt as if he was pulling my scalp off. I screamed as loud as the gag would let me trying to get him off of me. I bucked, trying to get him off of me, but that did the opposite of what I wanted to happen. He ran his fingers up along my bottom and pulled down my bloomers.
"Nmmmmmmh! Nmmmmmmh! Mmh eeeeeh! Mmmmmh eh!" I screamed and struggled underneath him as I felt him pressing against my backside.
"Nmmmmmmmmmmmmh!" I felt like I was going to throw up. My eyes opened wide and I looked up at John who was now sitting still as the two men with Butch were holding him still, making him watch. One had his hair in a tight grip so he couldn't look away, the other had his hands on his shoulders so he couldn't move.
With his free hand, Butch grabbed hold of my hip and squeezed. I wiggled my hips slightly, uncomfortable with the feeling of his grip. Suddenly, he forced himself inside of me.
As much as I struggled and cried, he didn't stop even for a second. I couldn't bear to look at John who looked horrified at what he saw. To him this must've been the hardest thing to see after knowing that it could easily be Rebecca instead of me. After several minutes, I felt him pull out and something hot and wet covering my stockings. Butch stood up, zipped up his pants, and pulled me up by my hair. I didn't want to look at him, though. I kept my eyes on the ground. I felt dirt falling off of my face, mud drying to my wet eyelashes. Tears continued to fall from my face; I shook violently. Butch looked at me for a moment before untying the gag once again. Loud sobs escaped my trembling lips. He pulled out his knife.
"No!" I shrieked and pulled away from him as hard as I could. "No no no! Don't kill me!" I cried louder. "John, help me!" I cried and looked over at him, desperate. "Help me! Please!"
"Kill you? Ha! I'm not gonna kill you." He put his knife's blade between his yellow teeth and ripped open the top of my shirt and pulled it down just enough to where my entire chest was visible. "Shame I didn't get to see 'em." He said grabbing the knife again. "Oh well." He began carving his name into the flesh on the left side of my chest. I screamed the most blood curdling scream of my life. Butch remained unphased and carved the last line of the "H" in his name. He let go of my hair and pushed me to the ground again. "Leave 'er there. I got business with the Ranger, too."
As soon as Butch pulled the gag from John's mouth, John spit in his eye. "You'll rot in Hell for this, you know that?" John stretched so he was closer to Butch's face. "You're a disgrace to all men everywhere. You deserve absolutely nothing more than to be thrown directly into the pits of hell."
"I'd welcome it." Butch smiled. "But you tried to kill me, and I don't take too kindly to folks who try to kill me." He held the knife in his hands again. Before turning it on John, he ran his tongue along the blunt edge of the blade, licking all the blood off. "Your brother died easily. Wonder if you'll do the same?"
As much as I wanted to get up and help John, I knew I couldn't. Anything I did would put him in more danger. Butch leaned in next to John's face as if he was whispering something. John pulled his head back and quickly headbutted the other man, causing him to stumble backwards and fall. John grabbed the knife that ended up in his lap and hid it. Butch looked at me with his lips curled around his teeth in a sick smile. He crawled over to me again. "You move, she dies." He straddled me and held the barrel of his gun against my breast. "It'd be such a shame. But she's no good anymore, is she?" He pulled up my skirt again and gestured to my violated and bleeding body.
"You wouldn't dare." John growled. "She's so much more than that. All ladies are." He started working at the rope around his middle that held him to the tree. "You touch her, your life ends."
Butch reached down and started feeling me again. His rough fingers hurt the already sensitive and wounded skin. He was testing John. I lay there on the ground perfectly still, not wanting to anger Butch more, and not wanting to invoke something in John that would make him do something he'd regret. I did not stop shaking or sobbing whatsoever though. Eventually John got free. He grabbed the knife and held it to Butch's throat.
Butch turned his gun back on John. He stood up and moved towards him but not without stepping on me first. "You can have 'er. My business is with the cowboy here."
The two men grabbed ahold of me and had they way with me. The screaming stopped and the tears stopped coming. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound would come out.
"If you just let her go, I'll give you whatever it is you want. Just say it and it's yours. " John tried bargaining with him.
"I want Rebecca. You give me her and I'll let you both go. If not I'll just hold on to her until you give me what I want." He said looking back at me.
"I won't give you Rebecca." John said stepping closer, still wielding the knife. "You can have anything else."
"Fine, bring me your Savage partner. I have a bone to pick with him." Butch said. "I'm going to give you one week to get him to me. Meet Me at the abandoned train station in the town where you found her in one week from today or I will find you. And if I find you without that Savage, I will kill you."
John thought for a moment. "Deal." He didn't let go of the knife though. "And I want all of our
weapons back. Right now."
Butch pulled the two men off of me and kicked my side. "Stop your blubberin' and get up 'fore I change my mind." I stood up slowly wincing at the pain in my lower abdomen. Butch returned a moment later with the things he took from us and said "One week." He threw them in the ground and left with his posse.
As soon as they were gone I fell back to the ground crying loudly. I didn't bother pulling my skirt down or fixing my shirt. I just laid there in the dirt crying. John slowly made his way over and hesitated to say anything.
"Jules..." He started to reach out to me. "Will you look at me?"
I rolled over and looked at him. My face was covered with dirt and I looked a mess but I didn't care. Even though every fiber of my being was telling me to get up and run away from him, part of me was telling me to stay. Maybe it was the gentle way he looked at me, or maybe his soft kind voice. I couldn't put my finger on it though. I tugged on the rope that held my hands together.
"Help." I whispered, my voice hurt from screaming. John walked over slowly and moved behind me. Immediately I panicked and began to thrash about. As soon as my hands were free John held on to them trying to get me to calm down. I continued to shake and whimper for the rest of the night. John lay very still behind me with his arms wrapped tightly and protectively around me. I didn't sleep at all. Later John stood up and walked so he was in front of me. He sat down cross leg.
"I couldn't stop thinking." I could hear his voice crack from the on coming tears. "At first it was Thank God it wasn't Rebecca. Then it switched to oh God it's Juliet." He reached over and fixed my shirt a little. "I've been thinking about you non stop for the past few weeks. I don't know why and it bothers me." I looked up at him and did my best to sit up. "Can you come here?" He reached out for me. "I promise not to hurt you."
I crawled over to him slowly and looked up at him. "Y-yes?" I choked out.
"Come here." He said softly and held open his arms. "I just want to hold you." I crawled into his lap and curled up small. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed the top of my head. "My partner is an Indian; the last of his tribe. His name is Tonto. When we meet up with him, do you best to not look at his bird. It makes him uncomfortable." He held me against his chest and squeezed slightly.
I nodded and looked up at him, my eyes still red from crying. He looked down at me and smiled. My lower lip began to tremble again.
"No, no, no." He said putting a finger against my lips. "You have to be quiet. If you're quiet, I'll hold you all night." A single tear fell from my eyes. I looked up at him whimpering. "Shshshsh." He hushed me. "You're going to be alright. I promise I won't let anything else happen to you. Now try to get some sleep."
I shut my eyes and curled up smaller in his lap, shivering. Even though it was hot during the day, it was freezing at night. John searched for a blanket and eventually came across ours. I guess Butch didn't think to return those. John covered me up and let me lay my head in his lap. He leaned back against a tree and stroked my hair.
"Juliet," John looked down at me and smiled. "What are you thinking about?"
I thought for a moment. I didn't know what to say. Did I tell him I was thinking about him? Or did I tell him I was thinking about what happened earlier and how I wanted to go home? I rolled onto my side and looked at his feet.
"I'm thinking about you." I said looking down at the ground. "I always think 'bout you. I've been thinkin' about you ever since you saved me. I just think... How I'm going to thank you. I want to give you somethin' that'll somehow make it up to you. I know I can never completely repay you for what you did for me. And you didn't even know."
He looked down at me and blinked. "Juliet, I had no idea." He smiled softly. "You think about me? All of the time?" He smiled. "You know you could have told me. What do you think about about me?"
"Oh you know, girl stuff." I smiled up at him. "I think about you and Rebecca and how happy you are together." I felt him sigh. "I think about how much happier you'd be with me. But I know you want to be with her forever, and I respect that."
John opened his mouth to say something. "Me and Rebecca have been talking, though." He bit down on his lip. "She thinks it'd be best if maybe we were to . . . see other people? I don't know what that means. I think she wants a..." he stopped. "Divorce. Juliet, I don't want that. I want to make her happy though. Would that make her happy?"
I shook my head. "No. It wouldn't make her happy. It would make her happy if you did your absolute best to make her happy. She'd love it if I wasn't with you right now. She'd be so happy if you would come home and ignore Butch's request to bring him Tonto. I don't know, that's what would make me happy if I was her. But I'm not her though." I sighed. "I wish I was."
"What?" He looked down at me.
"Yeah. I didn't tell you. I wasn't planning on telling you either." I looked up at him. "You're everything that every woman looks for in a man and more. You're handsome, vigilant, chivalrous, kind. You're probably a fantastic lover. Rebecca is so lucky to have you." I looked back down at myself. "And I can't have you."
He sighed. "Juliet, there are plenty of people out there like me." He smiled. "You just have to look."
"But I don't want to. I found who I want-" I stopped. "John, up until I met you I thought I was going to be stuck back home. I'd never meet anyone else. I'd die alone. But now I have you. You have someone else."
"I'm not going to leave Rebecca for you if that's what you want." He sighed. "You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and go meet someone. I'll always be there for you, though. I feel some sort of responsibility towards you. I have to protect you." He looked down. "I get how Daniel felt now. He was my older brother. He always took care of me."
"So you think of me as a little sister? Thanks." I tried to sit up but I couldn't. My bottom half still hurt terribly. "John, I want to go home."
"You know I can't take you home. You have to stay here with me." He looked down at me.
I shut my eyes, but they didn't stay shut for long. "You hear that?" I asked looking around. "Sounds like someone's sneakin' around."
"I know who it is." John rolled his eyes. "He's gonna sneak around for a while. He'll come out."
"She dead?" I heard someone say in broken English. "We make trade?"
"No, she isn't dead. And no you're not going to trade anything she has for birdseed or a feather. She doesn't have anything." John reached over and bumped the man on the nose.
"Shame." The man sat down on the ground next to John and looked down at me. "Who is she, kemosabe?"
"This is Juliet. She and Butch have a history of hate, and today it boiled over."
"Ah. Poor thing." He reached out and patted my head. "You will be all right."
"Juliet, this is Tonto." John said pointing at his Indian friend. "Tonto,"
"Kemosabe?"
"I need your help getting rid of Butch. You think you can help me?" John asked resting his hand on my forehead. "I have a plan, but I'm going to need your help."
John explained the entire thing to him beginning at what happened earlier up to Butch wanting him to bring him Tonto. I fell asleep, so I didn't know what happened after that. I woke up the next morning to John looking down at me. "Good morning, sleepyhead." He smiled. "I thought about what happened last night. I can take you home if you'd like."
I shook my head. "No, I'll be okay. I want to go with you." I looked up at John. "I want to go with you, now."
"You're sure?" He looked down at me. "If you come with me then you'll have to stay with me. Do you think you'll be okay with that?"
I thought for a moment then nodded. I looked around, but Tonto was nowhere to be found.
"What happened to Tonto?" I asked. "He was here last night, wasn't he?"
"Oh, he's going to find our horses. He and Silver have some weird connection, I don't know what it is with those two." He stood up and helped me up. "Do you feel alright?"
I winced at the pain in my belly. "No. It still hurts." I said doubling over. "It hurts."
John looked down at me. "Well it'll take us a few days to get there even if we leave right now." John said looking off towards the horizon. "We need to get goin' as soon as Tonto gets back. You can ride with me, he doesn't have a horse."
I looked up at him and nodded. "Can I lay back down on the ground? It's the only way I feel okay."
"No, why don't you stand up for a little. Might even help your hurting." John smiled down at me and helped me stand up.
I leaned against a tree and watched him roll up the blanket I was under.
That night, we didn't stop to sleep. I didn't want to go to sleep because I had nightmares last night and John and Tonto wanted to keep going. At some point during the night, though, my hips began hurting from sitting on the horse like I was and we took a short break, we had time. We had a week.
The week was over before I knew it and we were back in my hometown. I felt sick. Everything I had ever known was falling apart in front of me. From what I could see in the dark of the night, my old house was crumbling: the hole in the roof had gotten larger than ever. I fell to my knees and began to cry. John walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder gently. I held onto his hand and stood up. I heard footsteps behind me and whipped around. I bumped into person standing behind me.
"Well I'll be damned." He grabbed my hair and made me look up at him. "Didn't think I'd be seein' you again." He grinned showing his yellow teeth.
I jumped and began to whimper. John pulled out his revolver and pointed it at Butch.
"Let her go," he demanded pulling back the hammer. "If you do I won't have to shoot you."
"Give me the Indian then." He pulled me closer against him.
John pushed Tonto in Butch's direction and held out his free hand for me.
"Here," he said pushing me to the ground. "Don't see why you want her. She's too noisy for me." I scrambled to my feet and ran behind John. I reached up under my skirt feeling my pistol in its holster. If I really wanted to, I could have pulled it out and shot Butch Cavendish dead. I don't know what was stopping me though.
There were gunshots.
I ducked and covered my head.
John turned around, crouched down, and grabbed onto my wrists. My heart was racing. I looked up at him on the verge of tears. I could feel them coming. John pulled my hands away from my face and looked at me with those kind blue eyes. He was bleeding from his arm but he didn't seem to notice the large tear in his shirt or the blood running down his arm.
"Are you okay?" He asked looking at me intently. I didn't answer, I was too distracted by his bleeding. "Juliet, answer me. Juliet." He shook me gently. I still didn't respond. "Juliet,"
I looked up at him, my eyes wide. I was scared. He pulled me against him as hard as he could and didn't let me go. He squeezed me tighter for a moment then pulled me away gently. His eyes were red from crying, his face was streaked with tears. He wrapped his arms around my head and pulled it against his chest and kissed the top of my head over and over again. He hugged my head closer to his chest and smiled down at me.
"You're okay." He smiled and made me look up at him. He brushed my hair out of my face and held my face in his hands gently. His eyes were searching for something in my face. I looked up at him with wide eyes still. He bit his lip gently. "I... I may have said somethings during this past week," he looked away and let go of my face. "Can we go to your house?" He asked helping me stand up. I led him to my old home with the crumbling roof. He walked through the door and looked around before chasing or throwing out any little animal that had decided to live there. Surprisingly, the mattress and blanket that I had slept with had remained untouched for the month I had been away. "Juliet, come here." He said rubbing the back of his neck as he sat down at the table and pushed everything off of it.
I walked over to him slowly and sat down across from him. He reached out and grabbed my hands. "J-Juliet," he started then looked down. "In the short time I've known you, I feel like I've learned a lot about you." He sucked on his bottom lip and looked back up at me. "And I think somewhere along the line I might have um," he muttered something.
"What?" I asked leaning forward a bit. "You think you might have...?"
He moved his hands away from mine and his face flushed red. "Love." He looked up at me. He almost looked as if he were pleading. "Juliet I think I fell in love with you and I don't know how it happened."
I stood up and walked across the room. I felt like I was going to pass out. It was hot in the house. I didn't step outside though. John stood up and looked at me. He walked over to me.
"Are you okay?" He looked down at me. "You look a little pale." He reached down and started unbuttoning my shirt. I pushed his hands away and leaned against the wall. "I'm sorry," He frowned.
"John," I said looking up at him. "I - I've always wanted to thank the man who saved me," I took a step towards him and touched his chest gently. "If there's anyway I can repay you for saving my life twice,"
John looked down at me and played with the buttons on my shirt again. "Then let me have tonight." He leaned down and kissed my cheek gently. "If you don't . . . feel anything in return, then you don't have to put up with me anymore."
I blushed and looked down. I knew I was going to feel something. I didn't want to ruin his relationship with Rebecca. I wanted him to be mine, though.
He laid me back onto the mattress after spreading a blanket out over it. He pressed my shoulders back into the mattress the same way he had the day he asked me if I wanted to join him to find Butch. This time he didn't stop, though. He leaned in until our lips were barely touching. Feeling his warm breath on my lips was enough to make me melt like butter. He brushed his against mine gently before kissing me on the cheek again. He smiled against my cheek then rubbed his rough unshaven one against my smooth cheek. I tried not to get too excited as he started to unbutton his shirt. This time it was for me, not Rebecca. He pulled it off revealing tanned skin and toned muscles. I looked up at him awestruck at the man before me as he unbuttoned and pulled off my shirt leaving me in my tightly laced corset. I gasped and put my hand on my stomach. He helped me roll over onto my tummy and untied the corset then rolled me back over and pulled it off.
"Wow," he said marveling at me. He frowned and traced the scars that Butch had left me with his fingertips gently.
"The scars," I said moving my hand to cover them. "They ruin me, don't they?"
"Juliet, they're part of who you are." John said kissing each and every scar gently. "You're perfect, love."
Perfect? No one had used that word to describe me except for my parents almost a year ago. My thoughts scattered like mice when John lay on top of me. Feeling his warm chest against mine. He closed his eyes and leaned down so his forehead was touching mine, our noses pressed against each other. He brushed his lips against mine; he didn't even have to kiss me. Just feeling his warm breath against my lips was enough to make me lose all of my inhibitions. He reached for my hand and tangled his fingers into mine and with his other hand, brushed my hair out of my face. He traced the shape of my jaw, down my neck, to my chest stopping at the scars. He frowned and traced over them. He leaned back down and kissed my cheek gently, trailing soft kisses from ear to ear along my jaw. I relaxed completely underneath him for a moment. I felt his hands slide down the sides of my body to the top of my skirt and he pulled at it. I helped him up and let him pull off my skirt and bloomers leaving me in my tattered stockings. Oh I didn't mind though, if it made John happy, I was happy. He unbuckled his pants and let them fall off of him and around his ankles. He stepped out of them and laid back on top of me, opening my legs slightly by pressing one of his legs between mine. He held onto my wrists with his hands, holding me down to the bed. He lay the full weight of his body on me and whispered into my ear.
"Juliet," he kissed next to my ear softly then added in another breathy whisper, "I love you, so much." He let go of my wrists and reached down to push my legs open wider. He pushed my legs up silently telling me to wrap them around his waist. I did what he wanted. He put his hands on the back of my thighs and pushed himself inside of me. He looked down at me and brushed my hair out of my face again. He put one hand behind my head, the other remained on the back of my thigh keeping my legs where they were.
I wrapped my arms around his back, digging my nails into his back. I felt my legs slipping from around his hips. He let them slide off but his hand didn't move. I felt his fingers digging into the flesh of my thigh. My eyes rolled back into my head. I squeezed his back tighter and arched mine hard against him. He pulled my face up to his and made me look at him. His mouth was open slightly, I couldn't tell if he was making any noise or not, though. He leaned down slightly leaving very little space between our lips. His breath was hot on my lips. I wanted so badly to kiss him. He tangled his fingers in my hair and pressed his lips against mine, parting my lips gently with his tongue. He rocked his hips against mine and pulled me closer against him. He let a low moan escape his lips and into the kiss. He moved his hand from my thigh and up my body to the side of my chest. He pulled away from the kiss and laid my head back down on the mattress and sat up. He began thrusting into me harder and faster. I ran my tongue across my lips still tasting his on mine. He leaned back down to me and tilted my head back slightly. He trailed soft kisses up my neck and over my chin to my lips. The kiss was short, but he lingered there for a while. Suddenly his muscles tightened and his face changed. His breaths became shorter and sharper. He looked at me for a moment with wide eyes before pressing his lips against mine as hard as he could. He pulled out of me and looked down at me. He and I laid there for what felt like hours.
"Juliet, are you..." he looked down at me and wiped my face. "Are you crying?"
I looked up at him, my eyes filling with tears. He rolled off of me and laid on his side looking at me. "I'm sorry," he bit his lip gently.
I shook my head quickly and wiped my eyes. I rolled over to look at him.
"John," I reached over and touched his chest gently. I bit my lip and blinked back more tears. "I love you." I looked down and closed my eyes. "I've loved you ever since I met you that day. I didn't even know who you were. You saved my life and I just... fell."
John moved a little closer to me and looked at me. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me into him. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead gently. I looked down at him.
"R-Rebecca," I looked up at him. "She'll -"
"Get over it." He smiled down at me again. "She doesn't have to know. You know you and I could skip town. She would never know what happened."
"I don't want you to do that to her," I sighed and pushed him away.
"Do what? I've already done this to her." He sat up and looked at me. "Juliet please, not now." He reached over and touched my thigh gently. "I never thought in all my years that I'd do something like this to her or anyone, for that matter. I needed a way to show you I love you."
I sat up and looked up at him. "John, I don't want you to tell anyone what happened here tonight. I know that when we go back home, things will have to go back to normal, no matter how hard that's going to be. You'll probably realize that you really love Rebecca, you were just lonely here. She'll go back to hating me and I'll go back to loving you silently."
He shook his head. "This wasn't a one time thing, Juliet," he grabbed my face and pushed me back onto the mattress. He crawled on top of me pinning me there. "You're getting what you wanted and I said I would never give to you. I realized last night I wanted it, too. I wanted to make the girl that I saved mine. I didn't care that she had been broken. I didn't care that she had scars physically and emotionally. None of that mattered anymore. It never did. I thought I loved Rebecca but she could never measure up to you, Juliet." He pressed his lips softly against mine again. "I've never been so sure about something in my life until you." He bit his lip and looked down at me, pushing my legs apart again and situating himself between them.
I looked up at him, my face was bright red, I was sure of it. He lay on top of me again and started kissing my neck softly. "You're so perfect," he said into my neck, sucking on it gently. I tilted my head to the side as he kissed up my neck to my ear and kissed right behind my ear. He moved so he could look at me again. He touched his nose to mine as he slipped inside of me again. He kissed back down my neck and to my collar bone.
I gasped and wrapped my arms around his back and squeezed him closer to me. He kissed back up my neck to my lips. He took his time with me. It felt more like making love than the first time.
When he finished, he rolled off of me and wrapped his arms around my tightly. He looked down at me and kissed my forehead gently.
"I love you." I said quietly. "I've loved you ever since that night you saved my life. I never thought I'd actually get to say it to you."
John down at me and tilted my head up. "I love you, too, Juliet."