What happens if you stick Edward Cullen and Ash, Quinn, James, and Poppy in the same room? Let's find out! One shot!

"Where am I?" Ash said, trying to see through the pitch black darkness Suddenly a super bright light came on and Ash saw he wasn't alone. There was a super pale guy standing under a window. He was sparkling? He had bronze hair and chiseled features. He also had golden eyes. "Who are you?" the guy asked.

"Ash Redfern. Who are you?"

"Edward Cullen."

"Okaayy." Suddenly Quinn came out of nowhere and asked Ash, "Who's the fairy?"

"Says his name is Edward Cullen."

"I'm not a fairy!" the guy protested.

"Why are you sparkling?" asked Quinn.

"I'm a vampire!"

"No you're not." Ash said.

"We're vampires and I'm fairly certain we don't sparkle." said Quinn. Then Poppy came out of nowhere.

"Oh my gosh, who's the girl fairy?"

"Oh my gosh, you're a girl?"said Quinn.

"No! I'm a boy named Edward. I'm a vampire!"

"No you're not. Vampires don't sparkle." said Poppy.

"That's what I said but he said 'no I'm a vampire.' " said Ash. Then James came out of nowhere.

He said, "Oh my gosh! It's Justin Beiber!"

"I'm not gay either! I have a human girlfriend."

"Good cover story." James winked. Quinn and Ash laughed while Poppy smacked James' arm.

"She's so not Justin Beiber! Look at the hair! It's so not cool. She's a fairy!" said Poppy.

Edward said, "I'm not Justin Beiber, I'm not a girl, and I'm not a fairy! I'm a vampire!"

"Vampires don't sparkle." stated James.

Ahs said, "I think that's been established."

"Hey fairy, can you give me a pony?" asked Poppy.

"I'm not a fairy!" said Edward getting extremely frustrated.

"If you can't give me a pony then just say so." Poppy turned to James. "James, can I have a pony?"

"I'll ask Thierry." Poppy squealed, jumped up and down, and clapped her hands.

Ash said, "Hey Quinn, we should capture the fairy and make it grant us wishes."

"Good plan my friend." They grabbed Edward and stuffed him in a giant mayonnaise jar with holes in the top. Edward knocked on the glass and screamed, "GET ME OUT OF HERE YOU PHYSCOS! I'M NOT A FAIRY AND I CAN'T GRANT WISHES!"

"You can't fool us." said James. Everyone picked up the jar and carried it back to Thierry's mansion.