A Home In The Stars
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing
The stars light echoed across the panels on the exterior of the colony exterior. Heero paused from his work for a moment, to look behind him and appreciate their beauty. He envied the stars, they simply looked upon the world. They never had to live in it.
He turned his attention back to the broken reflective panel. The more he worked the less he thought, and he planned on keeping it that way. Despite the tediousness of his work he enjoyed his job. Duo had hired him onto his company as a contractor. He and Duo would simply repaired colony blocks and either sell the old broken parts, or melt the scrap metal down and remold it into parts. It offered him the ability to pick his own hours, keep him physically active, and keep his mind at bay.
"Hey buddy, time to call it quits for the day." Duo's voice crackled in his helmet.
Looking down at the colony block they were working on he felt a small sense of accomplishment. Over half the block had been repaired from the solar flare that had hit a few weeks ago. They would finish earlier than expected.
Hand over hand he pulled himself towards the air lock and met up with Duo inside. Duo gave him a thumbs up and sealed the room. As it filled with air, Heero's mind began to wander once again.
It had been over 2 years ago.
He had gone to her office, just like he had for the past few months. They rarely got to see one another due to Relena's heavy work load. She had managed to find a time slot a few times a week where they could at least have lunch and see one another. It was a time Heero had come to treasure, when he could steal her away from the world and she could just be his.
When he had entered her office he found himself faced with the back of Relena's desk chair. Something was wrong, usually she would have her head stuck in a stack of papers when he entered. Feeling out the room he slowly walked forward, looking for any indication that might tip him off as to what was wrong.
When he walked around the desk he found Relena with her eyes closed, her hands neatly folded in her lap. Something was wrong, and it was something big. He reached out, trying to brush her face in an attempt to let her know whatever it was would be okay.
"Heero", she whispered just as he was about to touch her.
She looked up at him then, a tear in her eye.
"Heero this isn't going to work anymore."
His world had crashed around him at her words. He felt hurt and confused, she was hiding something from him.
"I've been elected at the foreign minister. Heero I'm so sorry but we can't continue on like this." Her voice had strained at the words.
"Relena, we can make it work." he had said, desperately trying to hold onto her.
"No Heero, we need to end this."
"You don't have to take this position Relena. The world has had you for long enough. Isn't it time for you to live your own life?"
"This is my life." She had said, looking away.
It was over. He walked out of the office, not bothering to look back. Inside he felt his heart shatter, each beat hurting worse than the last.
The sound of Duo unclasping his helmet brought Heero from his thoughts.
Duo looked over at his comrade concerned, "You were thinking about her again."
Heero ignored the comment and began shedding his suit. Since when had he become so transparent.
"What time do you suppose it is in sanc?" Duo said, causing Heero to pause.
"I don't know Duo, my watch stopped a long time ago." Heero replied quietly, looking at his reflection in his space suit.
Would he ever get over her?
He had left her office and ran to his apartment. He had put everything on the line for her, and yet she had chosen what was most important to her.
When he had arrived at his apartment he found Trowa lounging on his couch. The circus had been in town that week and Heero had agreed to let him room with him. He and Trowa had a mutual respect for one another. Not many words would pass between them, but it was all that was needed. Unlike Duo who seemed to always need some sort of noise going on.
"Your back early, How's Relena?" Trowa had asked, the TV capturing most of his attention.
"It's over." The words hurting as he had realized more and more it really was over.
Trowa had looked over at Heero then. "Your letting go of her just like that? Without a fight?"
He had paused at the door, looking down at his clenched fists. "It's a losing battle"
"I thought losing battles were our thing."
"I don't know if I can survive another, especially when the stakes of this battle are so high."
"I understand" Trowa had then turned back to the TV, not another word passing between them.
That was the extent of their conversation. Heero had departed with Trowa's circus the next day to another colony. Leaving Relena far behind. Trowa hadn't asked any further of the events that had perspired between him and Relena. As soon as they had arrived at the colony Heero had left, trying to find a new purpose for his life. A few weeks later Duo had tracked him down and offered him a job.
Heero stowed the last of his suit in the locker and made his way into the colony. Looking back on their relationship now, he could now see the signs that had gone by unnoticed before. She had always seemed to be looking past him at something very far away. He had desperately wanted to be what she was looking at, but that was a dream that would never come true.
He finally reached the small apartment he had come to call home over the past year, closing the door he was met with the silence within. As he looked around his empty apartment he could almost see the bits of sadness that had seemed to pile up everywhere.
He turned on the news and was met with her face. She was once again giving a speech, rallying supports for a new cause. Things had been hard without her, she had given him a purpose. Now he was left trying to find his own way.
It's a funny thing your first love. You never truly get over them, it seems like gravity. No matter how hard you try to pull away, you constantly find yourself being pulled to them once more.
Simply looking at her brought back old emotions and memories. Her smile, her laugh, they all seemed to come rushing at him. Threatening to drown him. Heero clicked off the TV and went to his bed. Collapsing on his mattress he stared at the blank wall beside his bed. He had spent many sleepless nights wishing for things to work between them. On more than one occasion he found himself planning a way to see her again. To rush into her life and try to persuade her to choose him instead of her career.
But the realization always came to him shortly after. The painful truth that she would never love him, the way he loved her. That to her, she would never see him as anything more than a friend. He had fought many losing battles, but this was the losing battle he could never win. She had made her choice, and he had to live with the consequences of that choice as well.
Rolling over he looked at his clock. Thinking back to Duo's words he thought of what time it was in Sanc. It was morning there, Relena would be getting to her office shortly. Even after 2 years Heero was still getting over her, but he knew one day he would. At first he had wondered at what time he would have to live to see her again, wondering if he would forever just be someone who was simply waiting on Relena. But now he was finally growing on his own. Compared to the pain he felt every day when he had first left, the pain he felt now was numbed significantly, and with every passing day he grew stronger.
Tossing the covers over his head he slowly drifted off to sleep. Finding solace and peace, feeling at home in the stars. For even when you feel as if your destined for someone, and yet it doesn't come to pass. Life still moves on.
Author's Note: Yes I know its a romance against fic I used to loath them too. But life isn't all about the butterfly's and rainbows. Sometimes things don't work out, even when you hope against all odds that they will. I hope you enjoyed this fanfic, I've been working on it for some time now. Please read and review!
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