A/N; Written for a prompt by a-monthly-rumbelling over on tumblr. First ever Rumbelle fic so let me know how I did.
"One rule: no falling in love," he'd said, a bit out of breath due to her still close proximity.
She'd nodded and she'd kissed him again, taking him by surprise. He hadn't thought she'd agree. She seemed like the kind of girl that fell in love even with the everyday things. And so, he'd made the most of their first kiss, thinking that it would be the last, thinking that she'd run away when he posed his condition. But she pulled him into another kiss instead, knocking all the air out of his lungs, and he held onto her waist, afraid he'd drift into oblivion if he let go.
Her hair was so soft under his touch. The softest thing he'd ever felt. Everything else seemed rough under his fingertips after that, leaving him with the feeling that it would cut through his skin and make him bleed. So he never wanted to touch anything else besides the soft locks of her hair. He couldn't wait to feel the silkiness of her curls under his fingertips in the end of a long day. It felt exquisite to tangle his fingers in her hair after the harshness of sheet after sheet of paperwork and draw her in for a kiss.
Her smile was the brightest thing he had ever seen. It had the power to outshine the sun and blind him. When she smiled, the whole room lit up and there was no place for his darkness to hide. It slid off his shoulders and allowed him to take a deep breath without having to worry about it crushing him. So he did everything he could–being as selfish as he was–to make her smile and, ironically enough, he found out that her smile was the widest when he did things... things that a good man would do. Her whole face lit up then and her eyes shined like stars.
Her eyes were endless oceans of kindness that he could drown in even though he knew he didn't deserve it. He was a horrible person and the only fate befitting him was merciless suffering. To him people were marionettes that he could manipulate to his own interest instead of humans he should treat with kindness. And she'd seen that. She'd witnessed it herself. She knew it to be true. Yet, when she looked at him, there was only understanding and sympathy in her eyes. And he wanted to lose himself in them and forget all those horrible things he'd done that only seemed to weigh on his conscience when she was within reach.
Her touch was so gentle when she held a book or put her hand on his shoulder. As if she was afraid that both the old books in his library and his battered soul, hidden in the guise of a snarling beast, would crumble underneath her fingers. But that tenderness was what pulled at his heartstrings and unraveled his mind, leaving him a brainless, painless mess in her hands. Her fingers running through his hair and her hand in his soothed him easier than any magic would.
Her quiet presence immediately provided relief when he woke with a start in the middle of the night from another nightmare. The very fact that she wanted to stay at his side was comforting to no measure no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise. She was always so open and unguarded around him as if he could never hurt her when they both knew it to be otherwise. Yet, she didn't find the need to raise walls to keep him from hurting her. She left her heart unprotected out in the open and he could swear that the trust she showed him would be the death of him. He could easily pull her apart with his words only and then there'd be nothing of him left.
Her words spoke of intelligence and insight but she never used either of these as a weapon. Where he'd snap at someone, she would encourage them. Where he'd rub salt in the wound, she'd say the right thing to soothe it. Everything she said was well thought out but not for personal gain. She chose her words carefully to avoid hurting anyone whereas his purposefully cut like a knife. But the things she spoke softly to him rounded the sharp edges of his very thoughts. Just like everything else about her made him a better man.
"One rule: no falling in love," he'd said, hoping that she'd walk away, desperate to protect himself from the love she could offer him. Because he was weak. And he was a coward. And he would do everything in his power to make sure his heart was safe from pain. Because love was only strength when you had it. But when you lost it, it could destroy you. Yet, he still couldn't find it in himself to rip it out of his heart.